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Which Pencil?

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  • 04-04-2009 10:29pm
    #1
    coldfire1x
    Registered Users Posts: 3,354 ✭✭✭


    There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
    The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?
    THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

    Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! 'YES'.. OK, BYE'.
    She turns to her lover and says, THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.

    Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
    Normal : cock-a-doodle- dooo !!!
    Retarded : doodle-cock- a-dooo !!!
    Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

    Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.
    She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

    The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.

    Mike Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the area , stands up and proclaims: "If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"

    The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

    Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!" More sighs and loud applause.

    Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, if the Vicar stays, I will give him sex."

    There is total silence.

    The Preacher, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?"

    Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, while his wife replies: "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, " F**k the Vicar ".


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