Not sure what to make of late night calls/texts

LegacyUser

Started dating a girl about 3 weeks ago. I'm crazy about her & I think she likes me alot too, and things have moved pretty quickly. We've spent a couple of nights together, and actually started having sex after about 2 weeks.

The only problem is at the weekends she seems to get a couple of calls/texts late at night. Now I saw a guys name on the phone for one of the calls, and on Sat night at about 3am she happened to wake up & look at a text, it was impossible for me not to see it the way we were positioned and I couldn't help looking, it was another guy and simply said "u out?" She said something like oh for gods sake under her breath and went back to sleep, I don't think she knew I'd woken up.

Now I think she is great, she is gorgeous, good job, really nice girl. Any of my friends/family that have met her think she is great too, and she seems really classy. She does like her nights out, as she put it to me, she does get a bit sick of it all, but she is young & single and what else would she do on a Fri/Sat night. Which is fair enough.

The only thing that worries me is i think the only reason for calls like this are booty calls. If it was the one guy both times I would think maybe it's some guy thats really mad about her but because it was too different guys, I'm thinking is this what she is in too?

It doesn't seem like her at all. The first time we slept together, she asked me to be gentle as it had been a while.

Am I reading way too much into this? Any opinions appreciated?

prinz

Could it be just a friend? I have plenty of friends who like nothing better than making late night calls and texts. (a) because they're drunk and think it's great to round up a crowd for a houseparty at 3 am on a tuesday night and (b) because they're drunk and think its funny to call you after a night out and tell you to put the spuds on..

Sounds to me like she's falling victim to some such.Probably the same eejits.

On the other hand she could be dating a string of fellas.

shellyboo

It could be two different guys who are really into her...
It could be an ex, or two exes...
And yes, it could be booty calls

The thing is that she dismissed the text. So who cares what it was? She obviously doesn't care about whoever it was, why should you?

Polleta

I sometimes get texts from male and females friends at 2 or 3am asking me if i'm still out and none of them are ex's or booty calls.

That is not to say they aren't in this case but it could be just innocent.

Best thing to do is to ask her about it. The fact that she didn't reply though means it was someone she didn't care to hear from which should be enough really.

Craft25

if 'twere me i would have mentioned it in the morning, just off the cuff like, "what time was it that text woke us up". She probably would have given you a quick explanation, dodgy ex, drunken friend or whatever.

Then you can say something like, "That's ok, i just want you all to my self, a diamond like you needs looking after.", something like that.

It's a fine line between expressing how you feel and being over the top & possesive, especially at the early stages. If you let it stew inside you it can grow into a bigger deal than it was. It's always good to try and frame your feelings on something like that as a positive, as a compliment. & whatever answer she does choose to give you, you'd have to accept, the worst thing you could do is keep digging & digging.

Whatever they were about she was clearly more interested in being with you, than anything the messages offered, and that's a good thing right!?

SarahSassy

Ah yeah it was most likely a friend, whether male or female, who was just checking if she was out.. Maybe they normally share a taxi home or something... I would see nothing sinister here...

Let it go but ask if it happens again....

who007

I'd be a little wary of that as something like that happened me before. Not gonna go into details, but if it continues for more than a few weeks you would want to start asking questions.. But in the meantime just put it down to a one-off for a while

ManOfMystery

I would worry if it was a text full of X's and O's or declarations of undying love. But a simple 'u out?' sounds very innocent, particularly if it was late at night and coming (I assume) from someone else who was out and probably drinking. I know I have sent a lot worse to innocent female friends before...!

There's a girl I used to work with (no romantic involvement whatsoever, she knows my girlfriend) who would often text 10 or 15 people on her phone about 2am every nite she was out - me included - just because she liked finding parties or meeting up with other friends who happened to be out and about. My girlfriend found it weird the first few times I got the text but when I explained to her she was fine with it. I usually said something similar to your gf (for Gods sake!) and went back to sleep!

sam34

Craft25 wrote: »

Then you can say something like, "That's ok, i just want you all to my self, a diamond like you needs looking after.", something like that.QUOTE]

if i heard that from a guy after only a few weeks i wouldnt be impressed, tbh.

seems possessive and controlling, imo

LegacyUser

I suppose I could be reading way too much into it. I'm from the country & she is from a city so she is much more into the clubbing/going out scene. The times we've been out together she seems to know people where ever we go so it's likely that she has alot of friends that would be out at that time too.

diamond line sounds a little bit cheesy to me tbh, if anything I would imagine she would find it funny

star-pants

I would agree with the it could be friends/people who are out/someone who kinda likes her.
I had a guy who I spoke to the odd time text me at random hours of hte night asking what I was up to / goodnight hun etc. I never responded to them ever. And I had a bf at the time. Her reaction of 'oh for goodness sake' sounds like my response to one of those.
Again thats just my experience.

spacetweek

Slow down there pal. You're three weeks in; it's a bit soon to be gettin protective. Even if there's another bloke, she's sleeping with you, that means you're her fave!

Your gf is probably just popular. Nothing wrong with her mates texting her to see if she's out; they're out, and having a good time, and just want to know if she is too.

Nervous Wreck

shellyboo wrote: »

The thing is that she dismissed the text. So who cares what it was? She obviously doesn't care about whoever it was, why should you?

Agreed.


I send texts late at night to half my phonebook if I'm out and think there'd be a better buzz elsewhere. I also receive texts very often from friends (very often females) saying "You out?" etc late at night... The only time I'd mutter something like "For gods sake" is if, like your girl, I'd been woken by them. Otherwise, I'd send a reply, likely saying "Nah dude, catch ya later" or whatev. Point being, don't make a mountain out of a ditch. This is NOTHING.