Single and Hating It

shellyboo

Blangis wrote: »

You're very unsympathetic. Not all sincere, genuine guys have the confidence to approach women, be themselves, and believe that they will be found attractive.

Accepted, but surely the advice should be, "build up your personal confidence" rather than "fool girls into liking you by following these handy steps".

Blangis wrote: »

It helps people - not just guys, or guys looking to meet girls, but people in every situation - to have a tried and tested methodology to follow.

Yeah, but the whole PUA thing is so, so false. If he's looking for a genuine connection, which he is, then PUA isn't going to help him. By all means the OP should go out and read a book on how to build his confidence... but not a book on games to play with girls who don't know any better.

Blangis wrote: »

And don't tell me that girls don't employ tactics to attract guys, or to keep them interested.

And when they do, they're called headwreckers, cockteases, gameplayers, bunny boilers...

Men prefer straightforward, down-to-earth girls who are upfront about themselves and what they want, yes? Newsflash: Women prefer this too.

Blangis wrote: »

I understand that no girl wants to feel she is being manipulated, or that a guy is putting on an act to get her, but surely that has been going on since the dawn of time. The only new thing here is that a method has been put together. And, in fact, there is nothing new about it. Ever hear of the Ars Amatoria (art of love), written by the Roman poet Ovid in the 1st century BC?

There's a difference between putting your best foot forward and presenting the best aspects of your own personality and AFFECTING a different kind of personality in order to get women.

The first is common sense, the second is manipulaitve. And if you're looking for a meaningful relationship, the second isn't going to get you very far. Sooner or later the girl will find out what you're really like - and even if that person is a really super nice guy, she'll still dump you for "playing" her to begin with.

The OP sounds like a really lovely guy, I would absolutely hate to see him turn into a player-type knobend who thinks women are little more than puppets on strings. There are some fantastic, intelligent, funny, strong, upfront single girls out there, and if the OP starts playing a game, he's going to miss out on that.

Dudess

Blangis wrote: »

You're very unsympathetic. Not all sincere, genuine guys have the confidence to approach women, be themselves, and believe that they will be found attractive.

Absolutely. So then it would be advisable to work on their confidence, as I suggested.

It helps people - not just guys, or guys looking to meet girls, but people in every situation - to have a tried and tested methodology to follow.

I'll tell you my technique I used when I was single - to look as hot as I possibly could. Other than that, chatting and having a laugh. Now I know hetero guys (generally) don't have the luxury of make-up and slinky outfits but making yourself look as good as you can will help you feel good enough about yourself to just relax and chat.
And confidence-building techniques (but not at the expense of the girl being chatted up) are great too.
I'm not naive enough to believe our behaviour doesn't change to some extent when we meet someone we fancy - naturally it does, so on that score, I suppose a technique is used... but out and out full-on fakeness, pretending you're someone you're not, and using manipulative tactics to fool a woman - that's what the PUA stuff seems to be.

cherrypicker555 wrote: »

It could be worse, I could have told him to put an ad outsaying escorts wanted, and him to invite therm round for "an interview". ha.

So your intention wasn't at all to help the OP, just to boast about how you ****ed 300 women.

Know someone who does this in London, gets 18 yr old stunners turning up, meets in a hotel.

Sounds like a misogynistic prick.

scanlas

Where did you get your understanding of PUA techniques?

Most PUA teachings teach you to be genuine and not put on a front and to express yourself authentically without caring what anyone thinks.
That is a very attractive quality.

Some companies give guys routines to use a training wheels to get the ball rolling talking to women and to learn how to have fun talking to women.

They teach you primarily to amuse yourself when interacting with women, not to be a dancing monkey trying to get the woman to laugh.

That said there is some important tactical information to learn.

For example, if two men are chatting up two women and one of the men is moving things forward much faster than the other the more slowly chatted up girl tends to drag away the other girl because it feels weird to her.
Because you din't know to move things along at a similar pace a potentially great realtionship has been ruined. Whats the harm in knowing to slow down to your friends pace?

It's not trickery, it's just taking responsiblity for the interaction and not leaving it "to magical fate".

Unfortunately many people have gotten the wrong impression about the seduction community becasse of outdated books like the game. Things have moved on since then. If more men learned about this stuff it would benefit men and women. Both would have better relationships with the opposite sex.

Have a look at this clip on youtube and tell me if you think this is trickery. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZnDZJNDYCE

Silverfish

cherrypicker555 wrote: »

You want to ban me cause I respond to a post which calls me a liar in a humerous way :rolleyes:

No, I said 'can you all'.

Please be aware of the PI charter when posting. If you have an issue with a post, report it and let the mods deal with it.

cherrypicker555

scanlas wrote: »

Where did you get your understanding of PUA techniques?

Most PUA teachings teach you to be genuine and not put on a front and to express yourself authentically without caring what anyone thinks.
That is a very attractive quality.

Some companies give guys routines to use a training wheels to get the ball rolling talking to women and to learn how to have fun talking to women.

They teach you primarily to amuse yourself when interacting with women, not to be a dancing monkey trying to get the woman to laugh.

That said there is some important tactical information to learn.

For example, if two men are chatting up two women and one of the men is moving things forward much faster than the other the more slowly chatted up girl tends to drag away the other girl because it feels weird to her.
Because you din't know to move things along at a similar pace a potentially great realtionship has been ruined. Whats the harm in knowing to slow down to your friends pace?

It's not trickery, it's just taking responsiblity for the interaction and not leaving it "to magical fate".

Unfortunately many people have gotten the wrong impression about the seduction community becasse of outdated books like the game. Things have moved on since then. If more men learned about this stuff it would benefit men and women. Both would have better relationships with the opposite sex.

Have a look at this clip on youtube and tell me if you think this is trickery. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZnDZJNDYCE

Actually my opinion is while key components of PUA can be used on Irish women, we are not Americans and alot of the material is ultra phoney, Irish women can see that a mile away.


Psychologists state in chatting up women humor is the most suucccesful approach in a recreational environment, corny American complimentry stuff does not translate.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5083702/Men-can-laugh-women-into-bed-with-GSOH-say-psychologists.html

cherrypicker555

Saying that triangle gazing, knowing how to change what yout talking about smoothly, tone of voice, knowing how to listen closely, repeating her name back, relating to her answers, showing you understand with tone of voice/body language etc who she she is, what shes about are all things for the OP to note.

Loved the line, "what do you do" ? " I'm a lifestyle coach, into making people feel good about themselves"...alot of it is based on NLP.


Saying that note they are not doing it on street wise Irish or English girls rather European student girls in London for the summer and away from home for first time., hence why they get away with compliments which would make Irish girls put there fingers down their throat.

scanlas

From my own experience of chatting up women from all sorts of nationalities I find there isn't much core difference. All of them have enjoyed being allowed to express themselves authentically without being judged. All of them enjoy interacting with someone who expresses himself authentically without fearing what they think and all of them enjoy flirting.
If an English guy tells Australians about pick up you will always get people saying "that might work in England but not here, girls here are different, you can't do that here"

Feel free to insert whatever nationality for "English" above and "Australians" and the statement remains true.

Humour is not actually the most important aspect though very important. Having value is the most important aspect. When you have value girls will find the stupidest things you say funny. Then girls think that humour is the most important thing and spread the word that humour is what they find most important in a man. Men hear this advice and they go around trying to be funny and make women laugh. This doesn't work because women sense that the man is trying to impress her which is inherently unattractive. The woman finds it repulsive and the man thinks he needs to learn how to become funnier which is only going to make him more unattractive.

Don't mistake value for material things like money.

You have value if you can give the woman emotions, women love emotions.

In order to give woman emotions you must not seek approval from the outside world. You default state is feeling good. You offer value and fun times to those around you whilst amusing yourself. You amuse yourself and no one else. You understand women and their sexuality and how they love sex but fear being judged about their sexuality.You are discreet about sex with women. You don't go around boasting. You have rock solid confidence and make people feel good around you. You have social intuition and understand social dynamics as good or better than women. That is value.



When you have this value you can say and do the same things as a guy without value and she will find you funny and not the other guy. She is attracted to the guy with value and thinks it was his humour that attracted her. Don't get me wrong, a good sense of humour is an attractive quality, but not the primary thing a guy should be focusing on. if you feel good and comfortable approaching a woman she will usually feel good and comfortable, that is the essence of natural game. She feels what you feel. Go up to a girl nervous and seeking approval and it's game over. Women don't want guys coming up to them trying to get validation from them like a leech. They want a guy who already feels good and just wants to enjoy her interacting with her.

cherrypicker555

But OTT compliments,ie youve got the most amazing eyes,blah, blah, blah work far better on young European girls and American women then Irish or English women.

Much better starting with neutral compliments and building slowly.

Obviously emotional links must be built via emotionally relating/empathy. Hence if I complement a woman on a choice shes made I am giving my approval, once again this is building the sincerity/value bit, rather then your the most beautiful woman BS.


Disagree about the humour bit, humour shows a common emotional connection that you relate, it takes down barriers, makes the target feel good/relaxed esp with alchohol, obviously its best trying to find themes you both relate to.


Obviously it must be in proportion and once again European and American girls often dont get it.


Obviously if your trying to pull in a library, you dont do humour, but in a club, pub etc its a different setting.


Example, theres a dominatix on line who I really want, looks like Cathrine Zeta Jones, Im not into all that dom BS or paying, I am intreged by her, shes got amazing black and white pics of herself on her site.

Gonna call her congratulate her on her pics tell her Im intrested in art photograhy and I would like to buy a couple, if shes agrees I will go over and view, keep the compliments neutral, build a rapour, also use that lifestyle coach line, try to intigue her.

Call her a couple of days later to go for a drink.

scanlas

Humour is not the Primary thing you should focus on.

It will come naturally if you focus on your self.

cherrypicker555

scanlas wrote: »

Humour is not the Primary thing you should focus on.

It will come naturally if you focus on your self.

Did I say it was ?

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

dblennon

I think it's important to remember that If thats your genuine persoanlity (ie it comes naturally you'll be fine)

CherryP The way you approach women will work at a higher level, you can't just do it from the beginning and you also have to know that it is best left for the Creme de la creme ie. the women who have been chatted up by a thousand confident DM's (dominant Males)

PUA techniques ARE Training wheels to be used to find you best you!! CherryP knows his approach works ce la vie.

My Approach is slightly more subtle but does have alot of the same principle ideas which is " don't put any girl on a pedistill, be an alpha male sexualy & humorously, be stupid, be different, remember that there are 1,000s of girls out there so who cares if it dosen't work out"

Just get out there talk to women don't be a nice guy be a good guy!
& remember if you enjoying yourself thats 85% of the battle.

LegacyUser

Some good advice from both scanlas and cherrypicker. Even if the OP isn't interested in one night stands, he will still have to learn how to approach and talk to women. It sounds like the OP lacks a bit of confidence in approaching women, which is nothing to be ashamed of because a lot of young men are just like that. Once you start approaching women, it'll get easier and easier, and consequently you'll become more confident in the long run.




Scanlas/cherrypicker: I have a quick question for both of you; what do you do if you approach a girl and she says that she has a boyfriend? It happened to me recently. I was quite confident when I approached the girl, and when I asked her out, but I totally messed up everything when I heard she had a boyfriend just left it at that.....


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055528088


In hindsight, I think I could have and should have pursued the matter a bit further, even just to get to know the girl. I'm interested to know what would you have done in such a situation?

cherrypicker555

Cant answer as the MOD has said she will ban me, PM me.

Nevyn

No a mod will ban you for going off topic, questioning a mod action and solicting unreggistered posts to pm you.

scanlas

There are usually two reasons why a girl says she has a boyfriend which may surprise people.

1. You displayed some unattractive behavour, you can recover by being unaffected, say something like " that's nice, I have a goldfish" smile a bit and look into her eyes, then move straight onto another topic.

2. She is really into you and has a boyfriend but wants you to know her situation so you can be discreet about pulling her.

I didn't believe the second reason when I first heard it but began to believe it after experienceing it first hand.

Of course sometimes the girl has a boyfriend and she actually won't cheat no matter how attractive your behaviours, that seems to be quite rare though.

This is a technical post by the way, the morals of this situation is for another discussion.