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English Kids

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  • 07-04-2009 7:56pm
    #1
    Ave Sodalis
    Registered Users Posts: 7,553 ✭✭✭


    The warm summer air drifted into the Red Lion as Joe and his boozing pal, Bob sat by the open window to take advantage of the afternoon breeze. Most things had been discussed whilst downing the landlord's best bitter, from the state of the country, the doping of race horses, to the state of education.

    'They dont teach them the same as they did when we went to school,' said Joe.
    'I blame the teachers,' offered Bob. 'I think that I have the thickest lad in this town,' he went on.
    'He can't be as thick as my boy. Dense isn't the word,' said Joe.
    'Look,' said Bob. 'They will be coming out of school any minute. Let's call them in and ask them something daft. See if they swallow it!'

    The church clock struck the hour and out poured those little bundles of noisy energy called school children. Bob's son was the first to appear in front of the pub window, so the father called him in. He pushed a 50p coin into the lad's hand and told him to go buy a TV on main street. Without asking anything, the lad took the money and went from the pub.

    Joe peered through the window until he caught sight of his son and called him in. In the meantime, Bob discussed with his friend that his boy was as thick as he said and Joe agreed.

    Joe's son came through the door and stood before his father, wondering what he had done wrong. 'See this?' Joe asked him, producing a pound. 'I want you to take this because I'm going to ask you to do something.' The boy looked blank but accepted the gift.

    'I want you,' went on Joe,' to run down to the British Legion and see if I'm in!
    'The boy scratched his head and made for the door, leaving the two adults doubled up with laughter.

    Opening the pub door he saw Bob's son sitting on the steps of the pub.

    'I think my dad is thick!' said the lad. 'He's just given me 50p to buy a TV and he didn't say what make he wanted'
    'He's not as thick as my dad,' said his friend. 'My dad has given me a pound to see if he's at the British Legion - and he could have used the pub's phone for less than that!'


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