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Urgent Advice needed.

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    #32
    Deliverance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Deliverance


    Thank you all for so much good advice. I will pass on this advice to the family and I hope that the Mother in this case takes it on board. I hope this all works out as such. I am busy but I am at a point now where I think I need to drop this work to concentrate on this priority, as I think it is taking my concentration away from this work anyway (I find myself in a position where I can't think of anything else).

    I really appreciate your interest and advice. Thanks all.


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    #33
    havana
    Registered Users Posts: 752 ✭✭✭havana


    My friends ex attempted to abduct her son but was thankfully stopped at the ferry. Its a very real threat and hopefully your friend can be helped to see this.

    please keep us updated cos i know i will be thinking of this thread.


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    #34
    luckat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,366 ✭✭✭luckat


    It's also a very good idea to talk to the Department of Foreign Affairs and get their advice, and to have them apprised of the situation just in case. http://www.dfa.ie, and the contact numbers http://www.dfa.ie/home/index.aspx?id=73691


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    #35
    Deliverance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Deliverance


    havana wrote: »
    My friends ex attempted to abduct her son but was thankfully stopped at the ferry. Its a very real threat and hopefully your friend can be helped to see this.

    please keep us updated cos i know i will be thinking of this thread.
    havana wrote: »
    My friends ex attempted to abduct her son but was thankfully stopped at the ferry. Its a very real threat and hopefully your friend can be helped to see this.

    please keep us updated cos i know i will be thinking of this thread.
    Hi havana and all others that offered so much good advice. I feel that I should offer an update to let you know what has happened since.

    The trip went ahead and the mother accompanied the kids to Sheffield with the 'Father' and the trip was at best, an uncomfortable experience. The father bought them outlandish expensive gifts and basically tried in to buy their love.

    The kids, (one is a teen and the other is a pre-teen) really really did not like him at all, he was confused by this and voiced that he was their dad and he felt that they should like him and I suppose love him in some kind of missing long lost father first meeting fantasy moment type of way.

    Needless to say the kids took the gifts and got through the trip safely i.e. they got back home, thankfully.

    The father proceeded to skype the kids wishing to talk to them but they did not want to talk to him as they simply did not like him because in their view their first real meeting with dad was in their view a meeting with a stranger who just wanted to buy them with gifts rather than getting to know them. They are smart kids.

    It is kind of sad though, to me this just goes to show what a dad is all about i.e. being there and caring etc. This guy did not do that and he is paying the price by having his own kids treating him much like he has treated them for the last 10yrs+.

    Anyway a big thanks to everyone here for concern and advice I really appreciate it, thank you all.


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    #36
    Zynks
    Registered Users Posts: 1,693 ✭✭✭Zynks


    Great to hear the mother decided to go along. Thanks for the update. This seems like a pretty good outcome.


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    #37
    MojoMaker
    Registered Users Posts: 4,686 ✭✭✭MojoMaker


    How is your sister feeling about it all now that she's back from the trip? Will she stay in contact with her ex now?


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    #38
    Gyalist
    Registered Users Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Gyalist


    Glad to hear that everything worked out well.

    I know someone who was in a similar situation except that her ex-husband was from a very wealthy and politically-connected Nigerian family. They kids met their father after many years when the older one was 18 and the younger 13. They did not get on with their Dad (and still don't) but have since formed close relationships with their grandparents and their cousins and they're happy that they have discovered the other side of their heritage.


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    #39
    Dublin Mama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭Dublin Mama


    Deliverance wrote: »
    When I think about it... he is suddenly taking the kids *plus passports* to a close country i.e. England.

    She needs to go with them to England, definetely!


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    #40
    coffee_cake
    Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Deliverance wrote: »
    Hi havana and all others that offered so much good advice. I feel that I should offer an update to let you know what has happened since.

    The trip went ahead and the mother accompanied the kids to Sheffield with the 'Father' and the trip was at best, an uncomfortable experience. The father bought them outlandish expensive gifts and basically tried in to buy their love.

    I'm glad nothing bad happened I was worried for those kids!
    I hope the mother is trying to move on from him now ??


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    #41
    Woddle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,492 ✭✭✭Woddle


    I'm glad the kids are home safe and nothing bad happened and I was very concerned also based on the info you had given. Now I'm a father of 2 girls and thankfully have never been out of their lives but if this father was trying to connect or make a bond with his daughters, I wonder how much you and your close family played in this experience not going very well, did you sit down with the girls before the trip and perhaps given them a negative take on their father. We only heard one side of the story and it was worrying but how do we know that the other side was not a genuine but misguided attempt at reconnecting with his daughters.


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    #42
    Deliverance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Deliverance


    Woddle wrote: »
    if this father was trying to connect or make a bond with his daughters,
    To be honest if he was that concerned he would have made a better effort over time. Plus as stated in the original post he did take off with 30k of the mothers savings. Not a good indication of his motives and personality to be honest.
    I wonder how much you and your close family played in this experience not going very well, did you sit down with the girls before the trip and perhaps given them a negative take on their father.

    Not at all, the onus was on the Mother alone to take responsibility about a potentially bad situation happening.
    We only heard one side of the story and it was worrying but how do we know that the other side was not a genuine but misguided attempt at reconnecting with his daughters.

    Fair comment, I can answer that by saying... despite the mothers vulnerability I would say that she never ever said a bad word about him to the kids and the family never did either.

    The children are well educated, happy and loved. This good family environment I think, led them to make their own decisions based on the fathers sudden interest and made them question who he was as a person via their own choices. They were simply not comfortable with a stranger trying to buy their love. It's the price he is paying for his actions and maybe he will learn something by it.


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