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coming out problem!

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  • 11-04-2009 3:25am
    #1
    ecdl07
    Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭


    Hi! I'm just after turning 17 a few weeks ago. I know I'm gay. I've knowen for a few years! Hears my problem! A few weeks ago my dad's friend was over at our house and they were watching tv. In the programe two men kissed each other and then they bought had a confersation about how all gays were dirty, sick and weird. Then they said that they should have the shi*t kicked out of them and then they would stop acting like this! My father is very relgious man and if he found out he would go crazy with me! He would nearly kill me! My mother would also hate to find out I was gay she would blame herself and she would be worried I would catch HIV/AIDS. What should I do? I'm trying to accept myself and it's very hard! thanks!


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    #2
    joe freethinker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34 ✭joe freethinker


    I'm 16 and in a similar situation.My dad is slow to welcome the 21st century.My mam in fairness is more open minded but the idea of being gay still does'nt sit right with her, so coming out will be hard.
    The most important thing is for you to be comfortable with it.
    I myself have dealt with my gayness even before i've come out.
    your father will be upset for sure he may say he hates you, want you out of the house even wish you were never born, but time will heal all if you don't hold on to his words.


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    #3
    lushballs
    Registered Users Posts: 196 ✭✭lushballs


    First off, keep yourself safe in this situation. Second look at the Belongto website. There may be a group close to you that you can attend. You will get support there. Some of the young people are out and some are not.
    Mind yourself.


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    #4
    Danny-B
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35 ✭Danny-B


    The most important thing is: Make sure you have planned your 'coming out'.

    Probably the other most important thing to keep in mind is: never 'come out' as an act of anger (for example, if your father is insulting gays, and you can't take any more, and say "Well I'm gay; how do you like that!") This is the worst thing you can do!


    I have to say your family might end up being more supportive and OK with it than it would seem now. However, they certainly could react badly, and you ought to prepare for that.
    They may very well eventually accept you for what you are, and by knowing that you're the same you, they may start to hate gays somewhat less. However, be prepared for a rough initial period!

    Just my few cents... It's different for everyone.


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    #5
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Decide how important it is for your father to know about your sexuality. It's not going to be trivial but keeping him in the dark maybe something you could live with. Also think about whose side your mother will come down on. She may worry about you but if she ultimately stands by you, this will be a huge boon to bringing your father around. In a year or two you should be heading away to college/work, you'll discover more about yourself and hopefully be in a better position to handle coming out to the folks.


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