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Is Romance Dead?

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    #32
    Salome
    Closed Accounts Posts: 570 ✭✭✭Salome


    JC 2K3 wrote: »
    Romance is just a more pretentious form of niceness :p

    Well, something that shows he cares and that I care for him is all I'm looking for - call it romance or niceness, I don't mind!


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    #33
    MadgeBadge
    Registered Users Posts: 228 ✭✭MadgeBadge


    nedtheshed wrote: »
    Romance isnt dead.

    What is wrong is that too many people equate (and have equated) romance with a big showy gesture.

    :)

    Yeah (mainland) Europeans have this down to a tee. I think people are intimidated by romance because they believe this is what it means. Romance is about showing someone how you feel about them.
    nedtheshed wrote: »
    It costs nothing but means everything.
    :)

    I'm think I'm the latest romantic convert.


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    #34
    jellie
    Registered Users Posts: 15,503 ✭✭✭✭jellie


    any romance ive ever experienced was at the beginning of relationships. my ex was really sweet to me when we started going out, but that didnt really last :( (& turns out he was a total b*stard anyway :rolleyes:)

    i think the small things are more important that the big romantic gestures. yeah i like big giant treats (who doesnt) but i appreciate the little things more, eg. knowing im dying of cramps so going out & buying me a fluffy hot water bottle, buying me a hair clip in the style of one i loved that got lost, making me pancakes! :)
    (still an a**hole though now..)


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    #35
    Miss_lady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 38 ✭Miss_lady


    well yes I had a good few romantic moments with my now ex... on our first night that we kissed, he brought me down to show me ruins of a castle just cos he knew I really liked things like that but he didnt tell me where we were going and then surprised me. Erm another time, after having spent all day with me, he spent all night texting me then jumped on the first bus available in the morning just so he "could see me and cuddle me" and surprisingly he was genuine, he just wanted to cuddle me :D
    oooh and one thing that to you lot may not seem romantic but for me it was heart warming, he cooked dinner for my family in my house one time. We were just in the kitchen and I was to cook dinner and he told me he would do it. it was just something he didnt have to do... thought it was mega sweet. and first time he came to dinner with my parents he wore a shirt and called my dad sir hee hee....


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    #36
    Polleta
    Closed Accounts Posts: 96 ✭✭Polleta


    The present guy I'm dating is very sweet and romantic. It's the little things that get me all the time. A message about a general thing with a you are great/gorgeous in the middle. My favourite choc bar hidden for me to find with a sweet message written across it in tippex...

    My ex was quite romantic too but in different ways and was very showy(which isn't really me). I'm not sure he knew what my fave choc bar even was. He did one day take my toothbrush from my overnight bag and when I went to the bathroom to look for it he had put my toothpaste on it for me. That was probably the most romantic thing he did though to me(despite love emails and dinners etc which were more showy). Actually he made me a mix tape(cd) but he has it cos I never took it home-oops!

    I'm not sure how romantic I am. I try to do nice little things but sometimes I fail miserably. Its usually something like remember what time their scary meeting is starting at so I can send them a thinking of you text... Or leaving a little note hidden. I brought my ex to a secluded beach for a cliff top walk on a sunny/windy day which he thought was romantic.

    I'd say definitely not dead anyway!


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    #37
    Katgurl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,144 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    Polleta wrote: »
    The present guy I'm dating is very sweet and romantic. It's the little things that get me all the time. A message about a general thing with a you are great/gorgeous in the middle. My favourite choc bar hidden for me to find with a sweet message written across it in tippex...

    My ex was quite romantic too but in different ways and was very showy(which isn't really me). I'm not sure he knew what my fave choc bar even was. He did one day take my toothbrush from my overnight bag and when I went to the bathroom to look for it he had put my toothpaste on it for me. That was probably the most romantic thing he did though to me(despite love emails and dinners etc which were more showy). Actually he made me a mix tape(cd) but he has it cos I never took it home-oops!

    I'm not sure how romantic I am. I try to do nice little things but sometimes I fail miserably. Its usually something like remember what time their scary meeting is starting at so I can send them a thinking of you text... Or leaving a little note hidden. I brought my ex to a secluded beach for a cliff top walk on a sunny/windy day which he thought was romantic.

    I'd say definitely not dead anyway!

    I agree with you Polleta, i'm not into the big showy gestures either. One ex used to write me songs / fill the house with candles / run the bath & I never really liked any of it. Now before you all jump down my throat & call me ungrateful, the reasons were - i never believed the songs were written for me / not mad on candles / likewise baths, in fact hated them & if he had paid attention he would have known that. the gestures just felt like going through the motions & they felt... insincere. I used to feel he was referencing his romance handbook on how to shut the girlfriend up.

    The next guy i went out with was super-romantic & used to do things like drop homemade lunch into my work for me when he'd be walking by in the morning or pick me up a coffee on his way. he also found a charm for my charm bracelet on the internet and ordered it for me, one that was very personal to me.

    So no, i defo do NOT think romance is dead.


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    #38
    sam34
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    romance is deffo not about the grand gestures, it's the small things that someone else may not even notice but that mean the world to me


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    #39
    spinandscribble
    Registered Users Posts: 3,000 ✭✭✭spinandscribble


    went on my first date in ages there yesterday. we went to see a movie and got something to eat. romantic highlights included him putting a bluebell on my coat, feeding me m&ms, guiding me in front of him by putting his hand on the small of my back and walking around a graveyard while telling me about old 1900 names. well, i found it romantic. sometimes romantic things are simple and not too planned out, they just happen naturally.


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    #40
    Polleta
    Closed Accounts Posts: 96 ✭✭Polleta


    Katgurl wrote: »
    I agree with you Polleta, i'm not into the big showy gestures either. One ex used to write me songs / fill the house with candles / run the bath & I never really liked any of it. Now before you all jump down my throat & call me ungrateful, the reasons were - i never believed the songs were written for me / not mad on candles / likewise baths, in fact hated them & if he had paid attention he would have known that. the gestures just felt like going through the motions & they felt... insincere. I used to feel he was referencing his romance handbook on how to shut the girlfriend up.

    The next guy i went out with was super-romantic & used to do things like drop homemade lunch into my work for me when he'd be walking by in the morning or pick me up a coffee on his way. he also found a charm for my charm bracelet on the internet and ordered it for me, one that was very personal to me.

    So no, i defo do NOT think romance is dead.


    Yeah exactly the word I was looking for it seemed insincere!! I know lads I know ye do try your best but for me it is the little things like listening to me, remembering something I say. Giving me a big hug and pouring me a glass of wine when I've had an awful day can mean a lot more to me than whisking me off for a posh meal.


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    #41
    spinandscribble
    Registered Users Posts: 3,000 ✭✭✭spinandscribble


    i agree that you need to know someone awhile before you can really plan romantic things to do for them. what one person finds romantic, another will find childish/typical.


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    #42
    jellie
    Registered Users Posts: 15,503 ✭✭✭✭jellie


    spinandscribble wrote: »
    went on my first date in ages there yesterday. we went to see a movie and got something to eat. romantic highlights included him putting a bluebell on my coat, feeding me m&ms, guiding me in front of him by putting his hand on the small of my back and walking around a graveyard while telling me about old 1900 names. well, i found it romantic. sometimes romantic things are simple and not too planned out, they just happen naturally.

    aw, everything except the graveyard sounds lovely :)

    (how did you end up in a graveyard..?)


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    #43
    spinandscribble
    Registered Users Posts: 3,000 ✭✭✭spinandscribble


    sar84 wrote: »
    aw, everything except the graveyard sounds lovely :)

    (how did you end up in a graveyard..?)

    awkward at the start, he said "oh that graveyard looks interesting" i took that as a hint he wanted to go in so off i went. yeah it was fun in a weird way.


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