Golf is ruining my relationship

LegacyUser

Im with my boyfriend 7 months. He's big into golf, has being playing it years and would play at least once a weekend, usually twice. I think its great that he has a hobby completely seperate to me as I think that its really important to have "me" time away from your OH.

The thing is that he tees off at arounf 8/9ish in the morning, which means he has to leave about 7.30am and I wouldn't see him again til 2/3pmish.

The weekend is the only time that we could potentially wake up together and have a nice relaxing breakfast together. This is really important to me as especially when we've had such a great time in the bedroom the night before, I just want the intimacy to continue on for a few hours. But no he's gone at the crack of dawn. And the thing is that I've said this to him and he cannot understand why I get so bothered. He thinks that its because I dont like him playing golf and want him to stop, but thats not it at all.

Guys is it so hard to understand? Also the fact that he doesn't seem to care that we rarely wake up together and have that nice time together, maybe Im just more into him than he is me and I should move on? Why should I be the one asking him to spend time with me, surely he should want to? The thing is that I dont want to move on. I love him and and I know that he loves me.

It's really bothering me and as stupid as this sounds its got to the stage now that I get jealous of couples I see on Sat/Sun morning who have obivously just rolled out of bed and are spending time together.

And of course I knew going into the realtionship that he played a lot of golf, but I thought that as his feelings got stronger for me, he'd want to have that time with me on a Saturday or Sunday, but thats not happening.

*Lees*

So you think its great he has a hobby seperate to you as long it doesn't interfere with your timetable of the perfect relationship you have in your head!! Why don't you get up early with him and have breakfast? I think your lucky its on so early and he is back by 2 so you can actually do things together!

It seems very unreasonable to me that you would expect him to drop doing something he loves so that you can spend your mornings together! It comes across as a little needy to me to be honest!

Webmonkey

*Lees* wrote: »

So you think its great he has a hobby seperate to you as long it doesn't interfere with your timetable of the perfect relationship you have in your head!! Why don't you get up early with him and have breakfast? I think your lucky its on so early and he is back by 2 so you can actually do things together!

It seems very unreasonable to me that you would expect him to drop doing something he loves so that you can spend your mornings together! It comes across as a little needy to me to be honest!

I have to agree

LegacyUser

*Lees* wrote: »

So you think its great he has a hobby seperate to you as long it doesn't interfere with your timetable of the perfect relationship you have in your head!! Why don't you get up early with him and have breakfast? I think your lucky its on so early and he is back by 2 so you can actually do things together!

It seems very unreasonable to me that you would expect him to drop doing something he loves so that you can spend your mornings together! It comes across as a little needy to me to be honest!

OP here. Ouch thats a bit harsh re the idea I have of a perfect relationship. Its not that, its just that really enjoy when we do get to do that but its just so rare and I miss it. I should mention that previously I've suggested that many every few weeks he could play 2 hours later, so at least thats a compromise. But he doesn't want to hear it.

humbert

Perhaps your other half isn't very interested in waking up together and spending breakfast together.

If you express an interest in spending a morning together he may reciprocate the interest.

I would be more practical than my gf and if it was practical to head off to something a little more promptly than was romantic I probably would, without thinking about it sometimes, but if I detected that she would enjoy spending the time with her I would be inclined to put more importance in it too.

Tbh the strangest thing about all of this to me is that you feel more comfortable talking to anonymous us than to him...

MagicMarker

I can actually empathize with the OP, one of my favourite times with my ex was having the weekends together, waking up, having breakfast together etc.

However, OP, your BF isn't doing anything wrong here, maybe if he were playing golf well into the evening, but he's not, he's back by the early afternoon. Golf isn't ruining your relationship, it's your desperate need to have a few extra hours with him.

star-pants

Hi OP,

I dated a guy who was big into golf and would play every weekend, so often I would have to be up and out early as he'd be golfing. On the likes of bank holiday weekends like this, he'd probably play all four days. But I knew that, and ok I missed mornings sometimes, but there are other mornings. Your bf is back at 2/3pm, there's nothing wrong with hanging out with him then?
The guy I dated trained football tues/wed nights and played snooker thurs nights, played football sat afternoon and golf sundays. But we still found time to be together.
You have to accept someone for who they are and what they do. There would be times he'd cancel something to spend extra time with me, but I never expected it from him. I liked that he had so many hobbies.

It's hard to get used to that - but it's not a case of him not wanting to spend time with you, just he shouldn't have to cut out something he loves.