Boards is bloody confusing!

aare

alegrabaroque wrote: »

You still have not provided any example of what was wrong with what I said your just repeating the same thing with no evidence to back it up.

You have to have sex to get pregnant (except in the case of rape which is a separate issue). That is a fact.
If I say everyone with kids immaculately conceives will you be satisfied? This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard to be honest.

I am talking about your last, now deleted, post where you speculated, judgementally, at length, and in detail, on the nature of another posters private home life.

That was inappropriate, and none of your business, before we even get to how insulting it was to the poster.

alegrabaroque

aare wrote: »

I am talking about your last, now deleted, post where you speculated, judgementally, at length, and in detail, on the nature of another posters private home life.

That was inappropriate, and none of your business, before we even get to how insulting it was to the poster.

We`re not getting anywhere here your not making sense. I have never speculated, judgementally, at length, and in detail, on the nature of another posters private home life! How could I? I said everyone, including poster, had sex and made decisions to find themselves with children and everyone jumped down my throat. ITS A BIOLOGICAL FACT!!! requiring no speculation or judgement. You still haven`t quoted one offensive thing, you have access obviously to my posts feel free to pm or post offensive statement and if I am wrong I`ll be more than happy to apologise.

MagicMarker

I can see why you're getting infracted because just reading your posts is pissing me off.

aare

alegrabaroque wrote: »

We`re not getting anywhere here your not making sense. I have never speculated, judgementally, at length, and in detail, on the nature of another posters private home life! How could I? I said everyone, including poster, had sex and made decisions to find themselves with children and everyone jumped down my throat. ITS A BIOLOGICAL FACT!!! requiring no speculation or judgement. You still haven`t quoted one offensive thing, you have access obviously to my posts feel free to pm or post offensive statement and if I am wrong I`ll be more than happy to apologise.

I have no access to deleted posts, I just saw it and remember it. Devore can read your deleted post and see it for himself, when he has time.

It was inappropriately intrusive, and even as such, offensive.

K-9

alegrabaroque wrote: »

We`re not getting anywhere here your not making sense. I have never speculated, judgementally, at length, and in detail, on the nature of another posters private home life! How could I? I said everyone, including poster, had sex and made decisions to find themselves with children and everyone jumped down my throat. ITS A BIOLOGICAL FACT!!! requiring no speculation or judgement. You still haven`t quoted one offensive thing, you have access obviously to my posts feel free to pm or post offensive statement and if I am wrong I`ll be more than happy to apologise.

The problem is you think a single parent cannot be a victim of circumstances, FACT.

They can.

Do I have to explain this?

alegrabaroque

K-9 wrote: »

The problem is you think a single parent cannot be a victim of circumstances, FACT.

They can.

Do I have to explain this?

Yes please I would appreciate that.

alegrabaroque

aare wrote: »

I have no access to deleted posts, I just saw it and remember it. Devore can read your deleted post and see it for himself, when he has time.

It was inappropriately intrusive, and even as such, offensive.

Posts were quoted before they were deleted so they`re still there, feel free to copy and paste any example.

alegrabaroque

MagicMarker wrote: »

I can see why you're getting infracted because just reading your posts is pissing me off.

Why?

aare

alegrabaroque wrote: »

Posts were quoted before they were deleted so they`re still there, feel free to copy and paste any example.

There is no quote anywhere of your last post that was deleted, and that is the one I am referring to.

WhiteWashMan

alegrabaroque wrote: »

We`re not getting anywhere here your not making sense.

if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its usually duck.

you will also find that if you have an opinion and everyone else disagrees with you, it should tell you something.

alegrabaroque wrote: »

I have never speculated,

Yeah I`ve met alot of single mothers the last few years and yes they do seem to be of the opinion that they can afford to wipe their asses with €100.

your opening statment right there is speculation. it is not stated as fact, it is a mention of appearances. if you want to be nit picking over semantics, then youre already incorrect with your own argument.


The same children aren`t receiving the money anyway there parents are drinking and smoking it (I understand not all but the staticics show the majority unfortunetely).

back it up with proof of your statisic and I will start to take you seriously. otherwise, this is just your opinion made to look like fact.

alegrabaroque wrote: »

I said everyone, including poster, had sex and made decisions to find themselves with children and everyone jumped down my throat.

there is a difference between having sex and procreating. if you cant see that, then i suggest you dont give your 2c worth.

you have even said that you have had sex, but dont have kids. so in fact, you are just using a broadsweeping generalisation that is not even based on your own experiences. bit hypocritical dont you think?

alegrabaroque wrote: »

You still haven`t quoted one offensive thing, you have access obviously to my posts feel free to pm or post offensive statement and if I am wrong I`ll be more than happy to apologise.

oh, i didnt find anything you have said offensive, but then again, im seperated from the emotive argument.
having said that, i can see why some people would be offended by your stance, especially considering you are stating your opinion as fact, and that you actually have little to no real experience in the matter at hand.

youre hardly a character or expert witness now are you.

move to strike this witnesses statements from the record your honour.




let me give you a tip. if you want to go hard at someone, back up what you say with real fact. if you want to have a go and express your opinion, make sure you let people know its your opinion.

but dont come crying when you give your opinion and people dont like you for it. have some sort of responsibility for what you say.

or.

get over it.

K-9

alegrabaroque wrote: »

Yes please I would appreciate that.

OK, Married couple have sex. Birds and the bees and all that.

They split up.

Neither party had any intention of being a single parent, but stuff happens.

Victim of circumstances?

aare

WhiteWashMan wrote: »

move to strike this witnesses statements from the record your honour.

No objection, your honour.

alegrabaroque

WhiteWashMan wrote: »

if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its usually duck.

you will also find that if you have an opinion and everyone else disagrees with you, it should tell you something.



Yeah I`ve met alot of single mothers the last few years and yes they do seem to be of the opinion that they can afford to wipe their asses with €100.

your opening statment right there is speculation. it is not stated as fact, it is a mention of appearances. if you want to be nit picking over semantics, then youre already incorrect with your own argument.


The same children aren`t receiving the money anyway there parents are drinking and smoking it (I understand not all but the staticics show the majority unfortunetely).

back it up with proof of your statisic and I will start to take you seriously. otherwise, this is just your opinion made to look like fact.



there is a difference between having sex and procreating. if you cant see that, then i suggest you dont give your 2c worth.

you have even said that you have had sex, but dont have kids. so in fact, you are just using a broadsweeping generalisation that is not even based on your own experiences. bit hypocritical dont you think?


oh, i didnt find anything you have said offensive, but then again, im seperated from the emotive argument.
having said that, i can see why some people would be offended by your stance, especially considering you are stating your opinion as fact, and that you actually have little to no real experience in the matter at hand.

youre hardly a character or expert witness now are you.

move to strike this witnesses statements from the record your honour.




let me give you a tip. if you want to go hard at someone, back up what you say with real fact. if you want to have a go and express your opinion, make sure you let people know its your opinion.

but dont come crying when you give your opinion and people dont like you for it. have some sort of responsibility for what you say.

or.

get over it.

1) Yes and already posted my examples of below statement in more detail. This is a fact from personal experience -

Yeah I`ve met alot of single mothers the last few years and yes they do seem to be of the opinion that they can afford to wipe their asses with €100.

2) This statement was in regards to my opinion that single motherhood should no longer be inncentivised and the payments should be cut. It was mentioned that children would then live in poverty and I pointed out that they currently do due to their money being spent on cigarettes and alcohol -

Smoking stats - https://www.healthhub.ie/index.cfm/archives/yes/LOC/2-1-1/spPage/18/articleId/84DA730E-D997-462C-A1331CB1F57D7E51.htm

Alchohol stats - http://www.publichealth.ie/publications/iphresponsetothegovernmentalcoholadvisorygroup

I have also personal observed this.

3) Not hypocritical, proves my point I`ve had a lot of sex (am capable of reproduction) and have not gotten pregnant because I desided not to - simple.

4) Plenty of experience on this subject have decided, quite responsibly I think, to hold off having children till I can cater for them. And as mentioned crave a child from the bottom of my heart - this was and is a very difficult decision in all respects.

5) In no way shape or form "crying" just perplexed by the absolute denial of a biologically certain fact.

alegrabaroque

K-9 wrote: »

OK, Married couple have sex. Birds and the bees and all that.

They split up.

Neither party had any intention of being a single parent, but stuff happens.

Victim of circumstances?

Well not just married couples but yes people have sex and isn`t it wonderful! We have evolved thou we`re not animals and unless you decide to make a baby you have a huge choice of contraception out there or as a last resort natural methods. And no 100% of the people who claim to "accidentally" got pregnant do not fit into the minute percentile for who contraception fails -
http://pregnancyandbaby.com/pregnancy/baby/Pregnancy-rates-for-birth-control-methods-2593.htm

Stuff happens - well yes but I don`t believe this comes under that heading. You choose the person and unless you`ve choosen incorrectly why would you split up?

Looked it up in the cambridge dictionary -
2 FORMAL events that change your life, over which you have no control:
They were victims of circumstance.

The element of choice excluded the phrase from this particular situation.

And your not a victim if your a single mother anyway - Your lucky to have a child, lucky you made that choice. I`m just asking that you own it and be responsible for it.

aare

alegrabaroque wrote: »

You choose the person and unless you`ve choosen incorrectly why would you split up?

If you believe that, then you have a great deal to learn about reality.

K-9

alegrabaroque wrote: »

This is a fact from personal experience

Ah, Eureka.

It's your personal experience, not FACTUAL.

NAIL, ON HEAD!


End of thread.

PS. You've a point but you have misinterpreted and misconstrued your point. Your point is not against Single parents, which is why people took offence.

Look at your point again and RETHINK.

Also reread this thread, the points about posting style in particular.

alegrabaroque

No other people need to be more observent and thorough in their analysis!

I could tell you what my husband would do in every hypothetical situation. I spent years getting to know everything about him. If negative personality traits had emerged I would have left. This is to important its my partner for life and the person who I`m going to mix my genes with. I am safe in the knowledge that this man will never volunterily leave my side nor will he ever betray me. I respect him more than I have ever respected anyone and I have more than ample reason to. All examples show his good character consistently over the ten years we`ve been together.

Eg I had a best friend for years she drank did drugs - ok not what I`d do but thats fine. She had a friend they used to smoke hash together - ok fine whatever. Her friend had a baby - we lived together she came home from friends house stoned mentioned they were smoking in the room with the baby. Free choice is what I`m about but not when it affects someone else and particularly a child. The acceptance of a situation like this says something about someones character. It says run in the opposite direction. Obviously haven`t spoken to her since.

There is always indicators of someones general character. You can choose to ignore, deny or accept them but thats a choice.

K-9

alegrabaroque wrote: »

No other people need to be more observent and thorough in their analysis!

I could tell you what my husband would do in every hypothetical situation. I spent years getting to know everything about him. If negative personality traits had emerged I would have left. This is to important its my partner for life and the person who I`m going to mix my genes with. I am safe in the knowledge that this man will never volunterily leave my side nor will he ever betray me. I respect him more than I have ever respected anyone and I have more than ample reason to. All examples show his good character consistently over the ten years we`ve been together.

Eg I had a best friend for years she drank did drugs - ok not what I`d do but thats fine. She had a friend they used to smoke hash together - ok fine whatever. Her friend had a baby - we lived together she came home from friends house stoned mentioned they were smoking in the room with the baby. Free choice is what I`m about but not when it affects someone else and particularly a child. The acceptance of a situation like this says something about someones character. It says run in the opposite direction. Obviously haven`t spoken to her since.

There is always indicators of someones general character. You can choose to ignore, deny or accept them but thats a choice.

So, it isn't FACTUAL?

alegrabaroque

K-9 wrote: »

Ah, Eureka.

It's your personal experience, not FACTUAL.

NAIL, ON HEAD!


End of thread.

PS. You've a point but you have misinterpreted and misconstrued your point. Your point is not against Single parents, which is why people took offence.

Look at your point again and RETHINK.

Also reread this thread, the points about posting style in particular.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fact

–noun 1. something that actually exists; reality; truth: Your fears have no basis in fact.
2. something known to exist or to have happened: Space travel is now a fact.
3. a truth known by actual experience or observation; something known to be true: Scientists gather facts about plant growth.
4. something said to be true or supposed to have happened: The facts given by the witness are highly questionable.
5. Law. Often, facts. an actual or alleged event or circumstance, as distinguished from its legal effect or consequence.


Excus me but if you read my post relating to my experience it is a cold hard fact. They were there I was there they spoke openly of a disrespect for money that is a fact see above definition.

Your right I`m not anti anybody or anything except people lying to me and themselves and expecting other people to pay for it. I choose to have a car should you pay for the petrol?

K-9

alegrabaroque wrote: »

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fact

–noun 1. something that actually exists; reality; truth: Your fears have no basis in fact. 2. something known to exist or to have happened: Space travel is now a fact. 3. a truth known by actual experience or observation; something known to be true: Scientists gather facts about plant growth. 4. something said to be true or supposed to have happened: The facts given by the witness are highly questionable. 5. Law. Often, facts. an actual or alleged event or circumstance, as distinguished from its legal effect or consequence. Compare question of fact, question of law
If you read my post relating to my experience it is a cold hard fact. They were there I was there they spoke openly of a disrespect for money that is a fact see above definition.

So, it's FACTUAL, in your own words?

The facts given by the witness are highly questionable, TRUE?

bigeasyeah

serves you right.

orestes

alegrabaroque you are only here a couple of days, I would suggest you take a bit of time to read the charters of a few forums, do some lurking and reading in some forums and just try to get a bit of an idea of how things work on boards.

This is nothing personal or not meant to sound along the lines of "you are wrong, this is how we do things here!", it is just a suggestion to make your time on the site easier and more enjoyable. Boards is a big site with a large community, and is run on rules and methods that have been tried and tested over ten years. They apparently work, as this site is by far the largest site of it's kind in Ireland and has won numerous awards.

The system here is not out to get you, you are not being opressed or singled out, there is no injustice inherent in the system. Boards is a very welcoming place, but personally I feel that it is a good idea to try to learn a little bit about a community before giving out about how it works.

Welcome to boards by the way, I hope you enjoy it here

alegrabaroque

K-9 wrote: »

So, it's FACTUAL, in your own words?

The facts given by the witness are highly questionable, TRUE?

No, there is no question as to my integrity. You would need to establish a pattern of behaviour to illustate the dishonesty of someones character. I provided you with all links to statistics I mentioned which proves I do not lie. I have not been presented with one supposed insulting or offensive post that stands up to analysis as they are all factual and evidencially based.

Also a dishonest person would have taken this quote out of their post because it was clearly (and unimaginitively) going to be used in the next post to attempt to bring my honesty into question. I didn`t also prooves I have integrity.

alegrabaroque

orestes wrote: »

alegrabaroque you are only here a couple of days, I would suggest you take a bit of time to read the charters of a few forums, do some lurking and reading in some forums and just try to get a bit of an idea of how things work on boards.

This is nothing personal or not meant to sound along the lines of "you are wrong, this is how we do things here!", it is just a suggestion to make your time on the site easier and more enjoyable. Boards is a big site with a large community, and is run on rules and methods that have been tried and tested over ten years. They apparently work, as this site is by far the largest site of it's kind in Ireland and has won numerous awards.

The system here is not out to get you, you are not being opressed or singled out, there is no injustice inherent in the system. Boards is a very welcoming place, but personally I feel that it is a good idea to try to learn a little bit about a community before giving out about how it works.

Welcome to boards by the way, I hope you enjoy it here

Thank you very much its a wonderful site and I`m sure it takes a lot of work to maintain. I assure you I do not have an issue with how it works. I will not insult or offend anyone purposely ever.

Just to clarify -
If someone uses their personal circumstances to illustrate a point are you allowed to refute based on said points? People have used personal things that I said in their rebuttals which is fine by me but why did I receive infractions for doing same, seems a bit of a double standard?

DeVore

Some forums are stricter then others on that. Politics will shred you for it, After Hours will probably make an attempt at a "yore ma" joke.

DeV.

DeVore

By the way, you got two "infractions" those are our ways of saying "oi, not on!". Its not exactly impeding your "free speech" (which I'm still waiting to see any link to anything in Ireland or EU about btw... good luck with that )

Most people here (most of them NOT mods, I'd like to point out to everyone) seem to agree that your way of putting your point seems unacceptible. Would you say that at a dinner party or in a group in a pub where there were single mothers? Might be best to be a touch more polite about it then, and here too.

DeV.

Overheal

orestes wrote: »

alegrabaroque you are only here a couple of days, I would suggest you take a bit of time to read the charters of a few forums, do some lurking and reading in some forums and just try to get a bit of an idea of how things work on boards.

This is nothing personal or not meant to sound along the lines of "you are wrong, this is how we do things here!", it is just a suggestion to make your time on the site easier and more enjoyable. Boards is a big site with a large community, and is run on rules and methods that have been tried and tested over ten years. They apparently work, as this site is by far the largest site of it's kind in Ireland and has won numerous awards.

The system here is not out to get you, you are not being opressed or singled out, there is no injustice inherent in the system. Boards is a very welcoming place, but personally I feel that it is a good idea to try to learn a little bit about a community before giving out about how it works.

Welcome to boards by the way, I hope you enjoy it here

I also recommend a read over The Beginner's Guide.

Terry

RoundyMooney wrote: »

If you can't say something constructive etc.,

That applies both to the OP and some of the respondents here.

Incidentally, I'm still curious about the role and merit of infractions (even having borne witness to the inplementation of them-albeit by accident, as a result of a vBulletin upgrade), given that the powahs that be don't seem to take them seriously, although users are meant to.

Topic for another thread, and one I'll start, later.

Short answer: Infractions are used to keep an eye on troublesome users.
That's what I do with them anyway.

alegrabaroque wrote: »

But its nothing to do with opinion its a fact?! I`m not taking any moral high ground, where would that even be? Nothing to do with morality. Poster said Victim of circumstance I said not possible factually. Again where is the offense this wouldn`t offend me if the situation was reversed. She seems to be a very hard working mum I have not attached any negative attributes to her personally. I don`t presume to why she made these decission but they are still decission.

No method of birth control is 100% effective.

alegrabaroque wrote: »

You still have not provided any example of what was wrong with what I said your just repeating the same thing with no evidence to back it up.

You have to have sex to get pregnant (except in the case of rape which is a separate issue). That is a fact.
If I say everyone with kids immaculately conceives will you be satisfied? This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard to be honest.

alegrabaroque wrote: »

1) Yes and already posted my examples of below statement in more detail. This is a fact from personal experience -

Yeah I`ve met alot of single mothers the last few years and yes they do seem to be of the opinion that they can afford to wipe their asses with €100.

2) This statement was in regards to my opinion that single motherhood should no longer be inncentivised and the payments should be cut. It was mentioned that children would then live in poverty and I pointed out that they currently do due to their money being spent on cigarettes and alcohol -

Smoking stats - https://www.healthhub.ie/index.cfm/archives/yes/LOC/2-1-1/spPage/18/articleId/84DA730E-D997-462C-A1331CB1F57D7E51.htm

Alchohol stats - http://www.publichealth.ie/publications/iphresponsetothegovernmentalcoholadvisorygroup

I have also personal observed this.

3) Not hypocritical, proves my point I`ve had a lot of sex (am capable of reproduction) and have not gotten pregnant because I desided not to - simple.

4) Plenty of experience on this subject have decided, quite responsibly I think, to hold off having children till I can cater for them. And as mentioned crave a child from the bottom of my heart - this was and is a very difficult decision in all respects.

5) In no way shape or form "crying" just perplexed by the absolute denial of a biologically certain fact.

First link doesn't work.
Second link makes absolutely no mention of single mothers. However, it does mention those on lower incomes.
Not all single others are on a low income and not all people on a low income are single mothers.
Assumption. The mother of all **** ups.

alegrabaroque wrote: »

No other people need to be more observent and thorough in their analysis!

I could tell you what my husband would do in every hypothetical situation. I spent years getting to know everything about him. If negative personality traits had emerged I would have left. This is to important its my partner for life and the person who I`m going to mix my genes with. I am safe in the knowledge that this man will never volunterily leave my side nor will he ever betray me. I respect him more than I have ever respected anyone and I have more than ample reason to. All examples show his good character consistently over the ten years we`ve been together.

Eg I had a best friend for years she drank did drugs - ok not what I`d do but thats fine. She had a friend they used to smoke hash together - ok fine whatever. Her friend had a baby - we lived together she came home from friends house stoned mentioned they were smoking in the room with the baby. Free choice is what I`m about but not when it affects someone else and particularly a child. The acceptance of a situation like this says something about someones character. It says run in the opposite direction. Obviously haven`t spoken to her since.

There is always indicators of someones general character. You can choose to ignore, deny or accept them but thats a choice.

So you have a successful marriage. Well done on finding the right person. I'm glad that life worked out so well for you.
That's not the case for everyone though, is it?
Not every person finds the right one for them. Some people make mistakes. That's fine though. We're only human and are born to make mistakes.
I focus more on those who make continual mistakes, rather than those who learn from mistakes they have made and change their ways.

DeVore wrote: »

Some forums are stricter then others on that. Politics will shred you for it, After Hours will probably make an attempt at a "yore ma" joke.

DeV.

No! Bad DeVore. No "yore ma" jokes in AH.

K-9

K-9 wrote: »

So, it's FACTUAL, in your own words?

The facts given by the witness are highly questionable, TRUE?

alegrabaroque wrote: »

No, there is no question as to my integrity. You would need to establish a pattern of behaviour to illustate the dishonesty of someones character. I provided you with all links to statistics I mentioned which proves I do not lie. I have not been presented with one supposed insulting or offensive post that stands up to analysis as they are all factual and evidencially based.

Also a dishonest person would have taken this quote out of their post because it was clearly (and unimaginitively) going to be used in the next post to attempt to bring my honesty into question. I didn`t also prooves I have integrity.

I think you have made a bit of a stretch to start going on about integrity, dishonesty etc. A little over reactive.
I'm questioning your thinking and factual statements, definitely not your honesty or integrity.

You have given facts and as DeV pointed out, one at least is questionable and other Factual statements seem to be from your experience. That is fair enough, applying your experience of single parents to everybody will grate. I know a few single parents who don't meet your factual statements.

K-9

alegrabaroque wrote:

There is no excuse. And now if theres cuts these irresponsible mothers will be protected under our constitution and feck people who tried to be responsible and do things right! Wheres the incentive to do the right thing?! We`re turning into a nation of thugs where people have to be afraid on the street. These people should be discourage from having these children who turn into very angry young people who go out and hurt other people.

The thing is the majority of mothers are responsible, so who decides on the irresponsible mothers and how do the SW differentiate?

alegrabaroque wrote:

The same children aren`t receiving the money anyway there parents are drinking and smoking it (I understand not all but the staticics show the majority unfortunetely)

Indeed, some probably do. I suppose we could ban drink and cigarettes for them.

alegrabaroque wrote:

Well maybe if you`d took the time to get to know him a bit as he wouldn`t have been my first choice as a sperm doner. You made a decision, ok a two second one, but its still a decision why do responsible people have to pay for it?

aare wrote:

So now you have psychic powers that tell you how, and why, single mothers met the father's of their children and got pregnant?

I can see why he responded like that tbh.

I am assuming the points you made above were about irresponsible mothers (ones who drink and smoke their money) but now you seem to be applying the irresponsibility test to everybody who has sex. You can be responsible and still end up a single parent.

How do you know (for a fact) that she didn't take time to get to know him a bit? Also sperm donor is a baffling use of a term.

alegrabaroque wrote:

Eh...well as far as I know there is only one way to make a baby?lmfao

I really think you have taken the stereotypical view of single parents seen in Shameless and are applying it to all single parents.

Scofflaw wrote:

I've just removed an extremely inappropriate post and responses to it. Alegrabaroque, this is your last warning - do not make personal comments on or at or about other posters. If you cannot tell what is appropriate on an internet forum and what is not I would prefer you not to post.

alegrabaroque wrote:

If someone uses their personal circumstances to illustrate a point are you allowed to refute based on said points? People have used personal things that I said in their rebuttals which is fine by me but why did I receive infractions for doing same, seems a bit of a double standard?

Maybe the other poster had posts deleted, but I don't see any posts about her personal circumstances, barring one about her ex. You seemed to have very little personal circumstances to go on, yet stereotyped and assumed they where her circumstances and launched a very personal attack on her.