A question for women

ronn90

Hi all,

I'll start by apologising if I've posted in the wrong place but there doesn't seem to be a section discussing friendship.
I'll start with a brief description and then I'll ask the question I feel only women can really answer.
Ok I'm a male in my early 40 ies and I'm looking for a female friend. Now I have had female friends in the past and I found the friendships to be very fulfilling. We lost touch because I was out of the country for a couple of years and they found romantic partners. Anyway I am a genuine guy trying to find a female to connect with, have the odd coffee with and chat. I'm not looking for anything romantic as I'm in a relationship and my partner is comfortable with my search. I feel I have a lot of friendship to offer. As my life at present doesn't lend itself to me meeting women in a social manner I decided to place an ad in the friendship section of Gumtree website. I basically put a similar description to above in ad form. My question is would anyone answer such an ad? I do feel it is fairly obvious from the ad I placed that I'm not looking for anything unusual.

My other question is how would people feel about meeting someone from an ad like this? I suppose I'm just trying to get some idea as to how these ads are perceived by women.
I know I'm genuine so it's hard to take an objective view when reading your own ad. Maybe I'm a bit naive but I do believe there are women who find friendships with men rewarding.
Also why is it I get, what seem like genuine replies, and then don't hear another word. I have to say there are a lot of time wasters. I have almost abandoned hope of finding the holy grail of a good friendship.

Anyway any points of view, advice, or general comments would be greatly appreciated.

Jules

moved from tLL.

That_Guy

I see you mentioned placing an ad on gumtree. I wouldn't trust that website. It's full of frauds.

Have you tried any websites or anything or gone on speed dating things except for friendship?

I'm not sure if they exist or not.

ronn90

I'm starting to think you're right about Gumtree. Didn't try speed dating or anything like that as I'm only looking for friendship.
Thanks for the reply.

That_Guy wrote: »

I see you mentioned placing an ad on gumtree. I wouldn't trust that website. It's full of frauds.

Have you tried any websites or anything or gone on speed dating things except for friendship?

I'm not sure if they exist or not.

towel401

That_Guy wrote: »

I see you mentioned placing an ad on gumtree. I wouldn't trust that website. It's full of frauds.

thats definitely true alright. and there are way too many horny men on there looking for women. i replied to one girl just to ask how many replies she got and she said over 1200

MysticalSoul

Have you tried the meetup website, where they have lists of events depending on your specified interests and location? www.meetup.com

Personally I would not reply to such an ad. I have tried online dating, and have got numerous emails from men in their forties, and as someone in their early thirties, it raises question marks in terms of motivation. Even if I saw an ad, as you described, taking into consideration my ad, I would probably be a bit dubious as to the intent.

Do you have any hobbies? Could you join a club in relation to those hobbies?

Lilyblue

MysticalSoul wrote: »

Do you have any hobbies? Could you join a club in relation to those hobbies?

I think thats a good idea if you want to meet people.

Crannog

Best way to meet a new friend is thru your existing friends, family, colleagues. Do you and your girlfriend stay in the same croud or could you try some new things together where you would be likely to meet new people? If you would try a sport or hobby that has mostly women e.g. dancing... Evening classes seem to be about 80% women and most are there to meet new people.

Best of luck in making your world bigger. There are lots of women in it.

Salome

To be completely honest OP, if I saw an ad like that, I might think you had ulterior motives tbh. I think you need to word your ad very carefully so women won't think you're one of the boyos on Gumtree that are looking for one thing.

Fair play to you though for trying to widen your circle of friends though.

ronn90

Thanks for the replies guys (I mean guys as a unisex term of endearment ) The meet up.com idea seems good and maybe I'll try one of the many dating sites, although I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression. This is the thing really isn't it. Sometimes I do find myself in female company and I'd be chatting away (can't shut me up sometimes) and we're getting on great but I know if I the said fancy a drink/coffee it would definitely be misunderstood. I'm not even sure if women like having male friends? I know I very much enjoyed my past friendships with women.
It's very frustrating at times as I'm genuinely only looking for friendship, I'm a normal guy interested in most things and like most men I have an opinion on everything:) But, I do feel the best thing you can give a person on this planet is your time it's the only thing we have of value.
Anyway I crack on and see what happens. Thanks again.