where can I meet a single man over 35??

LegacyUser

i got married quite young and got divorced when most of my single girl pals were getting married! I work full time, and have school age kids but now am starting to get a bit lonely as the kids social lives are better than mine.Tried internet dating for a few months, went on a few dates but either the guys stalked the house/never stopped texting phoning wanted to elope/move in and freaked me out or they just wanted nsa sex.Two were 'in relationships' which was only divulged halfway through the date which I wasn't that impressed with! I'm big into fitness and am a gym member, lots of hot guys... tattoos, muscles, short hair, mmm*sorry off topic there for a minute*there but they are mainly in their 20s or early 30s which makes me feel like Mrs Robinson.so then..cant possibly go trawling pubs or clubs on my own, it reeks of desperation and am most wary of joining some happy clappy over 30s hillwalking club..most of the time i'm fine, but this weekend it just hit me that I would like to meet somebody special..but where to look is the question?? HELP

SheRa

Unregistered wrote: »

i got married quite young and got divorced when most of my single girl pals were getting married! I work full time, and have school age kids but now am starting to get a bit lonely as the kids social lives are better than mine.Tried internet dating for a few months, went on a few dates but either the guys stalked the house/never stopped texting phoning wanted to elope/move in and freaked me out or they just wanted nsa sex.Two were 'in relationships' which was only divulged halfway through the date which I wasn't that impressed with! I'm big into fitness and am a gym member, lots of hot guys... tattoos, muscles, short hair, mmm*sorry off topic there for a minute*there but they are mainly in their 20s or early 30s which makes me feel like Mrs Robinson.so then..cant possibly go trawling pubs or clubs on my own, it reeks of desperation and am most wary of joining some happy clappy over 30s hillwalking club..most of the time i'm fine, but this weekend it just hit me that I would like to meet somebody special..but where to look is the question?? HELP

Tbh I wouldn't give up on the internet dating thing just yet. It sounds like you had some awful experiences, but maybe you had to go through them to get to the good fellas:).

I know a few people that enjoyed hillwalking clubs, they aren't all happy clappy:D. What about golf or some participation/team sport such as badmintion/tennis or tag rugby?

LegacyUser

I'd agree with SheRa, I seperated from my husband a year ago now, and about seven months ago after years of a loveless marriage, thought about online dating, didn't have much hope.

I was horrified at how gross some men were online, straight to nsa sex even online stuff which I wasn't comfortable with.

I took my time, blocked those guys I found too forward, and met a lovely guy online, very caring, romantic, understanding, tolerant, just a great guy, someone whom I respect, can enjoy a good argument with, accept differing opinions, enjoy silliness and just generally love life.

I'd never ever have met him but for being online, took time, patience and a lot of duds but he's well worth it.

As well I've found I've gotten into things I'm interested in socially and that's helped me make friends.

The very best of luck to you.

LegacyUser

oh, well its heartening to hear there are online success stories! its sometimes hard to be starting the awkward dating stage again at 40 as opposed to 18 if you know what i mean.theres ther kids to think of, so this time i have found myself trying to sneak out the door glammed up without them seeing and it reminds me exactly of the times i used to do the same with my parents years ago..lifes funny eh?
would you say the free sites or the paid ones are the best?

LegacyUser

I read your post and I am a guy who was in your position.

Its a bit daunting for either gender going solo again and it was for me. I did the on-line scene with some hilarious results and did meet my girlfriend on-line. My first contacts were a bit different and were not really for me. Thats me being nice but it sounds like the guys you dated had ex's.

I was feeling a bit desperate about meeting someone.A friend suggested that I ask close friends did they know of single people I might like.That was a confidence booster because there were people out there who liked me! I also started socialising at silly outings like a nature walk and history trail etc and got to know a bunch of nice people.It also meant that when I did go on dates I was more comfortable with meeting a stranger.I just wanted to meet a nicer class of stranger. I dated with the outlook could I be friends with the person but also with the attitude could I imagine sleeping with them.

First dates are awkward and uncomfortable. Some of mine were really comic. The person you meet is every bit as nervous as you are and maybe even in a teenage way.That doesnt mean you disable your nutter radar.

The girl Im with now is not the type of person I would have gone for "as my type" or her me and it has meant that getting to know her has been nice and new.



Best of luck OP.