Do you want something when its gone??

LegacyUser

Hi. I could do with some opinions on how to handle a possible romantic situation. Im interested in someone who is dealing with some personal problems at the moment. I was in touch with him regularly but usually initiated contact. Have decided to step back and let him deal with his problems, I think this is the only option. My thinking is that he will realise that Im not getting in touch, that I may have lost interest and he'll re establish contact. (hopeful, I know) Its just that the old cliches tend to be true ie you want something you cant have , you miss something when its gone etc. Any opinions?
(Sorry if this is a silly topic!)

Stheno

Imo don't play games.

Stay in touch, let him know you are there, but don't over egg it.

If things are going to work out they will, not keeping in touch is pointless, we all need friends when we are having a crap time. Worst case you will have a friend who will value your loyalty.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your reply. Just worried that he will find my attention annoying if he is not interested? (he hasnt been in touch for a while, there may be a reason for that!)

CDfm

I have mixed experience with this.

I was friendly with a girl who had personal problems largely of her own making and she became increasingly needy and borrowing money she would not repay etc.Now I had dated her a bit but that was over. She was a bit of a user.

What type of personal problems are there?

What type of support/contact have you been giving.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks for your reply. Just worried that he will find my attention annoying if he is not interested? (he hasnt been in touch for a while, there may be a reason for that!)

Is he in another relationship?

LegacyUser

OP here. No, he's not in another relationship, we'd been having a casual thing. He is having some psychological problems, I don't want to be an extra hassle, I'm aware that sometimes people are too polite to tell you they are not interested in keeping in touch and for that reason, I'd rather he got in touch with me instead. I suppose I dont want to make a fool of myself

bluecell99

THink you are right.Let him intiate further contact.No friendship/relationship can be one sided.it takes two.He must be aware that you are there and a source of support for any issues he is dealing with.

Unfortunately ,if nothing happens then I would leave it.

Salome

It may be possible that he won't give you a second thought, if he experiencing some problems. He may be too distracted to think of anything else. In my experience, men don't respond to subtle messages, they need direct instruction. Keep in touch by all means but keep it light, try to avoid stalker-isms. If he's interested, he'll respond but be prepared for a let down. Problems aside, if he was interested, you WOULD hear from him - wild horses won't keep an interested man away.

CDfm

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here. No, he's not in another relationship, we'd been having a casual thing. He is having some psychological problems, I don't want to be an extra hassle, I'm aware that sometimes people are too polite to tell you they are not interested in keeping in touch and for that reason, I'd rather he got in touch with me instead. I suppose I dont want to make a fool of myself

Well if you like him there is nothing wrong with keeping in touch.

Even going on the odd date - I would think he would be glad to see you.

I wouldnt really worry about making a fool of yourself - there are plenty of people who go clubbing and wake up the next morning beside a stranger - now thats making a fool of yourself:)