I don't know what to do!

LegacyUser

Help please.

I am in a relationship with a girl 1 year now. When we were together three months we had a 'break', Her idea. she said we wouldn't meet anyone else & would be back together soon. We did not talk for one week, then out of nowhere, I receive a text message saying 'do you think we could get back together?' Me, I was delighted as I missed her so much! She promised me nothing happened. I believed her. One month later I just had a very weird feeling, kept asking her did anything happen. She then broke it to me. She had been out with one of her 'mates' all week, kissing him all the time etc (known as meeting?). I knew they've always been very close, but this tore me apart. 9 Months later, we have fights weekly and this always comes up. I just cannot let it go when she refused to remove this guy from her life and regularly meets up with him or texts him. Everytime we see him when were together she is so 'delighted' to see him, it really annoys me!

What should I do? Am I wrong for not forgetting about it? Advice please.

starchild

if she is going to be still in contact with him you have two choices

1- accept this and trust her & i realise that must be hard for you given what happened

or

2- walk away

if you cant get past the feelings of jealousy etc i would say walk away as much as you might miss her you will probably get a lot of peace of mind from it

star-pants

9months later and you guys are still fighting about it?
I would ask myself a few questions-
-- why weekly fights?
-- am I sure there's nothing more with this 'close friend' ?
-- do I trust her?
-- can I ultimately get past the fact she was with someone who's still in her life?

That Girl..

I think you're girlfriend is being extremely unfair.

If it had of been the other way round she would automatically expect you to cut contact with this friend if you wanted this relationship to work. She definitely shouldn't be textin him..

I seriously wouldn't put up with this OP.

Ask her to seriously think about what she did and does she understand how much this hurts you - If she can't understand it then I honestly don't think she is worth the pain.

LegacyUser

Hi again, Thanks for all the comments. I would love to walk away but I just can't. I really do think I love her. She said she would not pick either of us over each other. She told me if I ever made her choose me over her 'mates' that we would be finished. I left it at that. I don't know what to do next. She keeps telling that I should trust her bla bla bla.. But its so hard because she has done it before.

IRISH RAIL

OP
Im going to be harsh my ex was like that a cheating skank who did nothing but twist things her way and made it out it was my fault
sure you love her but you will love again without any trouble if you walk away now
if you dont and this friend who she was with (and still could be for all you know ) cheats on you it will be a long time before you love again.
my ex made me give up a friend so in a compromise I said I would if she gave up this guy who constntly text her that he was in love with her guess what all she did was change his name on her phone and things never changed.
dont make the same mistake I did.

bluecell99

You are on ahiding to nothing here I'm afraid.She is setting the rules.Her comment about choosing her mates and ye being finished is the clincher for me.She is on a power trip and has you well and truly hooked.She is enjoying all the control.

Break it.Get out now and regain your own life and stop playing second fiddle to someone who's ego is so big.You dont think you deserve better?

Of course you do.First step is break all contact.Your new opportunities and happiness begins then.