Women Who Hit Men

Zulu

WindSock wrote: »

No. Theres a difference between beating and a slap.

Lets be clear about this: I/you can do as much damage (in fact more) with an open hand, than you can with a clenched fist.

The only difference between a "slap" and a "beating" is that the former implies only 1 hit, where the later implies many.

Nevyn

IT is NEVER acceptable and women who take advanatage of men who have manners and will not hit them are scum imho.

IF you loose control and hit another person in anger then you have lost.

WindSock

Zulu wrote: »

Lets be clear about this: I/you can do as much damage (in fact more) with an open hand, than you can with a clenched fist.

You can? Why isn't a boxing match, a slapping match?

The only difference between a "slap" and a "beating" is that the former implies only 1 hit, where the later implies many.

Beating or hitting many times to me seems to be administered to do more damage. A slap is more of a reactive or an indication of enough.

Thaedydal wrote: »

IT is NEVER acceptable and women who take advanatage of men who have manners and will not hit them are scum imho.

I agree. How do you react to seeing women doing that publicly? Would you react the same if it were a man?

IF you loose control and hit another person in anger then you have lost.

And if you lose control and lash out at a person verbally in anger and say some unforgivable things have you lost also?

WindSock

Dragan wrote: »

Out of interest, why is it "okay" for the slap(er) to act on a surge of emotion but the reply from the slap(ee) is assumed to be calm and collected and well thought out?

A slap changes the scene from one of shouting. One shouter says something that pushed the slappers button. The slap happens. The slappee will momentarily stop shouting and start thinking on a physical level rather than a shouting level. The slappee thinks 'oh, it's on' and slaps back. Perhaps. To me it seems more calculated to retaliate.

Nevyn

WindSock wrote: »

Beating or hitting many times to me seems to be administered to do more damage. A slap is more of a reactive or an indication of enough.

The stereotypical slap can dislocate the jaw, crack/fracture the eye socket, rupture the membranes around the eye and eye socket, cause mirco fractures to the cheek bone and cause the person to catch their tongue between their jaws as it is forced shut.

Then there is emotional and psychological impact of a blow to the face/head which translate directly as an attack on personhood of the id and ego that a blow to the rest of the body will not cause.

But sure it's just a slap.

A slap like you give a child or a bold animal, someone lesser in understanding or stature to punish them when they have done wrong and should know better.

WindSock wrote: »

And if you lose control and lash out at a person verbally in anger and say some unforgivable things have you lost also?

Yes but not to the same extent.

WindSock

Thaedydal wrote: »

The stereotypical slap can dislocate the jaw, crack/fracture the eye socket, rupture the membranes around the eye and eye socket, cause mirco fractures to the cheek bone and cause the person to catch their tongue between their jaws as it is forced shut.

Thats where the force of a slap becomes a blow. A more forcefull slap is intended to hurt physically. A standard get out of my face and stop saying those things when I've asked you to stop isn't intended to hurt, it's an indication.

Then there is emotional and psychological impact of a blow to the face/head which translate directly as an attack on personhood of the id and ego that a blow to the rest of the body will not cause.

But sure it's just a slap.

A slap like you give a child or a bold animal, someone lesser in understanding or stature to punish them when they have done wrong and should know better.

It's an indication to the person/child/animal when all else fails. It's ok to smack a dog on it's nose and it's ok to smack a child on the ass.

Nevyn

If a person is lashing out to slap in anger then they do not have the control to temper the slap so it is not a blow, and some people don't know their own strength and that of how much damage the other person can take.

Catch someone of guard who has a glass jaw and they can go down fast from a slap and then you are looking at possible head impact damange ranging up to death.

There is a difference between a slap in terms of measured calm physical punishement of a dog or child and lashing out and landing a slap on another adult in anger.

Adults do not have the right to chastise, correct or punish another adult in that manner in anger, not even in the context of S&MDs relationships.

WindSock

Thaedydal wrote: »

If a person is lashing out to slap in anger then they do not have the control to temper the slap so it is not a blow, and some people don't know their own strength and that of how much damage the other person can take.

Granted, but how does a retaliator manage the force in which he/she retaliates?

There is a difference between a slap in terms of measured calm physical punishement of a dog or child and lashing out and landing a slap on another adult in anger.

Adults do not have the right to chastise, correct or punish another adult in that manner in anger, not even in the context of S&MDs relationships.

A slap is not a correction or punishment. It's a reaction to interrupt the verbal attacker. Is it better to throw liquid (not acid) on the verbal abuser, than to smack them?

fatmammycat

If someone is verbally assaulting you it is better to tell them to stop/say nothing/ or walk away. An escalation to violence is hardly the next step. A slap is not an interruption. It is crossing the line from verbal to physical and as such opening an invitation to receive a physical retaliation.
Windsock, I hope you don't think I'm belittling the impact of verbal abuse, it can be horrible and humiliating and emotional charged, but to react with physical violence is absolutely never the correct response.

Zulu

WindSock wrote: »

You can?

I can. So can you.

Why isn't a boxing match, a slapping match?

Because boxing is a particular sport. Your question is similar to asking why Formula 1 isn't Rally Racing.
The base of your palm (on the outside opposite the thumb) is the strongest part of your hand. This bone is the most difficult to break. It is also a direct impact point for the arm. A strike from this part of the open hand, is more powerful than a closed fist.
You can quickly test this: hit that point off the wall. You can exert far more pressure than you could with a fist without hurting yourself.

Beating or hitting many times to me seems to be administered to do more damage. A slap is more of a reactive or an indication of enough.

The point you are missing is that a person can administer a beating, with open hands/slaps.

And if you lose control and lash out at a person verbally in anger and say some unforgivable things have you lost also?

Well yes, but at least you haven't physically assaulted someone like a scumbag.

Zulu

WindSock wrote: »

Thats where the force of a slap becomes a blow. A more forcefull slap is intended to hurt physically. A standard get out of my face and stop saying those things when I've asked you to stop isn't intended to hurt, it's an indication.

Ah now, time for a reality check.
A slap is a slap. You can't argue on the force exerted. "Your honour, I only meant "a standard get out if my face and stop saying those things when I've asked you to stop", type kick in the head - not a "I'm trying to crush your skull" kick in the head. "It was only an indication".

Either the application of physical force is acceptable or not.

Zulu

WindSock wrote: »

A slap is not a correction or punishment. It's a reaction to interrupt the verbal attacker. Is it better to throw liquid (not acid) on the verbal abuser, than to smack them?

You are asking if it's better to throw something at them, or to hit them? Madness. Do neither. Walk away.

Why do you need to attack this person at all?

Nevyn

WindSock wrote: »

Granted, but how does a retaliator manage the force in which he/she retaliates?

They should not, it's that simple.

WindSock wrote: »

A slap is not a correction or punishment. It's a reaction to interrupt the verbal attacker.

No walking away is.
A slap is always a punishment.

WindSock wrote: »

Is it better to throw liquid (not acid) on the verbal abuser, than to smack them?

When when really pressed to I have done that, I once poured a pint of ice down a young ladies dress as I was so incandescent with rage after her sexually assaulting my bf at the time. She was a small size 8 and I was at the time a big broad size 20 and she only game up to my shoulder.
Slapping her would have been assault end of.

Windsock it's just not acceptable to slap or retaliate with a slap.

Lockstep

Thaedydal wrote: »

IT is NEVER acceptable and women who take advanatage of men who have manners and will not hit them are scum imho.

I completely agree.

Domestic violence can never be excused purely on the basis of one party being usually seen as weaker.

Black Swan

Hit men? I kick them all the time free-sparring in our taekwondo dojang on weekends. Nice way to work out your frustrations after a long week working with them! :cool:

Raze_them_all

If a girl hits me once i'll make a complete show of her, if she hits me multiple times I will hit her back till she stops. Thankfully thats never happened

Latchy

Zulu wrote: »

Most assaults are an emotional response.

They are never acceptable.

Ever.

Actually you cant say somebody who's loaded and has consumed to much booze ,then attacks a stranger is responding emotionaly ,at least not in control of their emotions .In a lot of case it's just somebody wanting to beat the hell outta somebody else for the sake of it .The booze is the spark they need to kick off

Assulting anybody is not acceptable .

Piste

Well like alcohol is just a chemical, like all your emotions, so I wouldn't say a slap provoked by alcohol is any different to one provoked by PMS- in both cases the chemicals are causing the urge to slap.

Jules

I have a simple cut and dry rule, if i hit a person for no reason then i deserve what ever i get back, if some one does something to me and i fight back then also fair game, dont dish out what you cant take.

Dragan

WindSock wrote: »

Granted, but how does a retaliator manage the force in which he/she retaliates?

Eh....why should they?

That's an honest question. I've never been the person throwing the first punch in any scenario, but when i am throwing the second i am not worrying, or even really thinking, about how hard the punch is. It's just a punch.

The vast majority of people ( I know i say that a lot but i blame Hollywood with the idea that people really seem to believe they can knock someone out just because they want to ) would have no clue what elements even make up a forceful strike, let alone how to control or pull that strike, be it closed fist of open hand.

I am also failing to see the distinction in emotional range or requirement between somebody who reactively slaps a person who shouted at them and a person who reactively slaps a person who slapped them.

In my head, the logic would be that the first is an improper scale reaction and the later is not, as it is a physical reply to a physical provocation.

Once again, i am firm and resolute in my opinion that if you strike anyone, expect one back in the chops.

kiffer

Speaking as a man that has been hit a few times by a number of different women for a number of different reasons (some of them deserved (I guess, or at least I was being bold) but mostly not) I would just like to say a few things...

Firstly, if you're in a highly emotionally charged situation and you loose control and hit/slap the other person, you need to realise that the other person is likely to be in just as an emotionally charged state... PLUS someone has just hit them.

Secondly, If you haven't actually lost control then why would you hit them?
To assert power? You can't do that with words?

And Finally, I almost agree with one thing that WindSock said... when a woman hits a man it's sometimes not to physically hurt them... it is to say, "I can hit you, you can't hit me, now shut up and listen to me", it moves the argument to a different level where if the man is decent enough to not hit back he becomes somewhat impotent... Either way the old argument is often over as now the man is either Demanding to know "why the Bleeping Bleep you think you can strike another person"... or has hit you back and is now being attacked by a group of random strangers, your friends, or even his own friends

lemon_sherbert

I think it's a very rare circumstance where a person is justified in hitting another person, male or female. If someone hits you, while it's understandable that you want to hit back, out of anger, I think it should only ever be to disable the other person, and if there is an opportunity to escape the situation without violence, that it should always be preferred. It might not come across as the brave thing to say, but I would always prefer to run away than to hit a man or a woman. And if hitting to disable is the only option, the aggressor should take into account the force they're using.

As for women hitting men unprovoked, it's assault, plain and simple. I think it's a sad reflection of the cultural acceptance of a double standard. While I think the message that men are told 'never to hit a woman', is a valuable one, in curbing domestic violence, which historically was largely a problem that led to beaten women, I think that the exaggeration of this principle to the level where a woman can assault a man without fear of retribution or punishment because of skewed cultural norms is horrible. I think everyone should be more accountable for their own actions. Similarly, the intoxication argument seems weak to me. That person chose to become drunk, knowingly taking on the risk that they might become a danger to others.

(And clearly, an afternoon studying criminal law is getting to me. The violence in this world scares me sometimes.)

Ickle Magoo

Agree with the above.

Even a single slap is completely unacceptable. Adults communicate verbally, if the point isn't being made forcefully enough then you phrase it differently or leave for the night or take a relationship break, you don't wallop them to make sure they're taking note.

I don't think retaliating to a slap is any better, short of self-defence to give yourself time to get the hell out of Dodge.

Piste

lemon_sherbert wrote: »

I
I think that the exaggeration of this principle to the level where a woman can assault a man without fear of retribution or punishment because of skewed cultural norms is horrible.

I totally agree with this. It used to be the case that men could hit women at home and it was accepted, now it has become completely unacceptable- and rightly so- but the pendulum has swung so far the other way that men feel unable to hit a woman under ANY circumstance, even in self defence.

WindSock

Dragan wrote: »

Eh....why should they?

That's an honest question. I've never been the person throwing the first punch in any scenario, but when i am throwing the second i am not worrying, or even really thinking, about how hard the punch is. It's just a punch.

Would you hit a slap back with a punch, or try to administer it to be an equal amount? Or would you just go at it and not care about the force, as long as you get to strike back?

I am also failing to see the distinction in emotional range or requirement between somebody who reactively slaps a person who shouted at them and a person who reactively slaps a person who slapped them.

In my head, the logic would be that the first is an improper scale reaction and the later is not, as it is a physical reply to a physical provocation.

And there can't be a physical reply to emotional/verbal provocation?

Legally speaking, a slap is assault. So is shoving and spitting. What do you do if someone shoves or spits on you?

WindSock

Thaedydal wrote: »

When when really pressed to I have done that, I once poured a pint of ice down a young ladies dress as I was so incandescent with rage after her sexually assaulting my bf at the time. She was a small size 8 and I was at the time a big broad size 20 and she only game up to my shoulder.
Slapping her would have been assault end of.

Surely throwing liquid on someone is an assault too? Isn't it taking something into the physical realm?

What I am trying to guage from this thread is why people react to a male hitting a female, but not a female hitting a male.

I am trying to understand what the difference is between types of slaps, why is it generally seen to be more acceptable when a woman does it rather than vice versa.

The majority of people on this thread are fairly adamant that no one is to hit anyone in any way shape or form. What would you do if you were to witness in public a man hitting a woman and a woman hitting a man?

lemon_sherbert

WindSock wrote: »

The majority of people on this thread are fairly adamant that no one is to hit anyone in any way shape or form. What would you do if you were to witness in public a man hitting a woman and a woman hitting a man?

I'd call the police, or for further help. It's not a courageous answer, but I think it's what I would do. If I thought I was strong enough to help, I would intervene, but if it looked at all dangerous, I don't think I would be brave enough to step in. I'm non-confrontational for the most part.

I have in the past stepped in when a mother hit her child, but it was a different situation, and I was more sure that the other passersby would back me up.

Zulu

One thing that struck me (pardon the pun) this morning:
No one appears to have acknowledged that woman, tend to wear rings, and tend to have long nails. Either of which are ideal for blinding a person.

To answer the question though: people react to men hitting women because people are both sexist and prejudice. The assumption is that the poor defenceless lady couldn't have possible done anything which would warrant a physical assault in return. Particularly from a big strong wife-beating man.

Lobelia Overhill

I knew a fella who was married to a woman who had "PMS", any time she felt like it she'd punch, kick and slap him around, then blame it on her period. He left her after she stabbed him.

Personally I think she should have gone to jail for assault.

K-9

Is it not a little patronising if somebody thinks it's ok for a woman to slap and not a man?

A little condescending for women, no?