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Advice please on friends

  • 17-04-2009 10:48am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, kinda new to this so bear with me. Basically am going out with boyf for a while now and do love him very much. I find his friends hard to get on with though, I try to be friendly when I see them and they sometimes talk to me and sometimes dont and sometimes dont say hi at all. I have tried inviting them out with their girlfriends with us but there is always a reason why the answer is no. I want to be friends with or at least get on with them but it seems they have no interest in getting to know me. Secondly I find one of his family members difficult too - she is rude to me and again shows no interest in me although I dont think it cos she doesnt like me. To be clear I dont think its that these people dont like me but dont understand why they dont make an effort - its like they are being rude and that is jsut how they are, which is really different to how my boyf is. Any views on how important this stuff should be?


Comments

  • #2
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    It's important in one sense. They are a huge part of your OH's life. On the other hand if they cannot be bothered then try not to let it get to you. I know with my friends, if someone has a new bf or gf we all make an effort to make them welcome etc, it can be daunting meeting a whole new group of people, especially if they've been friends for a long time. If they aren't interested it's their loss.Your OH will become aware of it before long.

    As regards his family, it's a bit more important. Maybe talk to your OH about why you might be treated rudely etc, or even just ask the person directly first without your bf and then if you don't get a satisfactory answer while your bf is present. Does he agree that this is how you are being treated? That's a very important step. If he doesn't see it the same way as you do, then taking the matter further may cause friction in your relationship, and that's not really worth it, over a third party.


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