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Recession Jokes

  • 19-04-2009 4:01pm
    #1
    coldfire1x
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,354 ✭✭✭


    Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
    A: Start off with a large one.


    A concerned customer asked his stock broker if the recent market decline and volatility worried him. The broker told him that he has been sleeping like a baby.
    “Really?!?” replied the customer.
    “Absolutely,” said the broker,
    “I sleep for about an hour, wake up, and then cry for about an hour.”

    Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and thirty thieves.
    Ten were laid off!

    Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate!!

    Iron man is now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs?!!

    A director decided to award a prize of Rs.1000 for the best idea for saving the company money during the recession. It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to Rs. 100.

    Women finally marrying for love! And not money!

    The only "deposits" being made on a Ferrari are the ones made by birds flying over them.

    Q: What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
    A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

    Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
    A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

    Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?
    A: In a few weeks..............nothing.

    Q What’s the difference between a bond and a bond trader?
    A. A bold matures.

    Q. Did you hear Goldman Sachs has a new cafeteria?
    A. It is called the Warren Buffet.

    Q: What is the Capital of Iceland?
    A: About 70 cents.

    Update on the Japanese Banking Crisis:
    According to our inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it is getting worse.

    Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 employees at Karate Bank got chopped. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and some staff there fear they may get a raw deal.


    Recession Bumper Sticker:
    The recession is worse than a divorce. You lose half your fortune and still have your wife.


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