Giving up seats for pregnant women

Kintarō Hattori

Pregnant women, the elderly or anyone who obviously needs it get my seat and that's about it. I don't offer a seat to women in general anymore after having received an earful many years ago from a small redhead.

WindSock

WindSock wrote: »

The problem with those 'on the blob' posts was that they were meant as a patronising response to hormones & anger. It's a perfectly valid reason to say that a woman may be feeling uncomfortable due to her period.
I don't agree with it myself and wish to not be treated any different if its my time of the month. I've been having periods for over 15 years. I can deal with it.

Ok you might feel well enough during your period to be able to cope.
But I have friends who's cramps are so strong (Think labour pains) they routinely pass out, and I have felt extremely ill myself when I was younger.
Thankfully at that time in Culchieland, it was common courtesy to offer your seat to a woman. I mourn the loss of this custom.

Nevyn

Chocoholic84 wrote: »

I'm not on a feministic pedestal at all - i think you're the one on a "sexism" pedestal! I believe what you said was:

"If a Man has any ounce of decency & manners he'll offer his seat to any woman, regardless of physical state."

Now tell me, why do you think that? I really would like to know why you think a man should offer a woman a seat, purely because she's a woman.

Because women have wombs and there for periods or they could be preggers that is why. It is done out of respect of the differences between men and women nothing to do with being sexist or feminist.

The lack of manners and the last of respect for others by people I think is a huge problem in society atm.

WindSock

Moonbaby wrote: »

Ok you might feel well enough during your period to be able to cope.
But I have friends who's cramps are so strong (Think labour pains) they routinely pass out, and I have felt extremely ill myself when I was younger.

I agree there are some women who get particularly bad periods. Does this mean because I don't I should offer my seat to every female just in case they do?

Ciks

VO wrote: »

Unfortunately ,bad manners went out the window over the past number of years. People have been ecouraged to think only of themselves, f**k everybody else.

This is not a recent thing! People wouldn't give up seats for my mother when she was having me and that was 23 years ago. Similarly, that year at midnight mass a woman (in her fifties or sixties) asked my mother to get up so her daughter - who she said was 6 months pregnant - could sit down, which would all have been very well had my mother not been nine months gone (due that day actually!).
There are just some selfish, uncouth people out there.

smileysurfer

If shes heavily pregnant id just give her the seat! No big deal, shes clearly carrying a lot around so its common decency really.

GirlInterrupted

Elderly or infirm people, pregnant women, mothers with small children that could sit on their laps, and anyone in obvious distress or discomfort get my seat.

I don't expect men to routinely give up their seats for me, having said that, I'm almost always offered a seat when on the Dart.

I usually refuse politely as its unnecessary, but sometimes men insist.'

Ickle Magoo

I open doors for or give my seat to whomever needs it, male or female, young old, pregnant, physically injured or with disability. I would hope to get the same courtesy in return if/when I need it. Actually, I hold doors open for the next person regardless of their age, sex or physical condition.

Ciks

What bothers me the most is something you see a lot of on Bus Eireann - people either sit in the aisle seat or pointedly leave their bags on the seat beside them. Nothing so sad as seeing an elderly person hobble the length of the bus only to find there are no free seats there, then having to walk back and ask someone if they would move themselves or their bag so they can sit. That's why I never do that. It's almost like these people are refusing the seat in advance.

shellyboo

Ciks wrote: »

What bothers me the most is something you see a lot of on Bus Eireann - people either sit in the aisle seat or pointedly leave their bags on the seat beside them. Nothing so sad as seeing an elderly person hobble the length of the bus only to find there are no free seats there, then having to walk back and ask someone if they would move themselves or their bag so they can sit. That's why I never do that. It's almost like these people are refusing the seat in advance.

I have NEVER seen this happen...

What I have seen happen though, is auld wans viciously elbowing people out of the way, having arrived at Busaras mere seconds before the bus is due to depart, skipping the queue to get the very first seat up the front so they can chat to the bus driver and make him put some godawful country music station on the radio for the entire journey.

Annoying. And off-topic

Ciks

Trust me it happens, particularly on the Dublin-Galway bus that I get twice a week - but you're right about the vicious auld wans. They use their umbrellas /trolleys/whatever weapon they can carry to batter you so they can hop on ahead of you despite the fact that you're first in the queue because they just spent the last ten minutes saying goodbye their family. I've never seen them chat to the driver. Often I find that that's old men. The driver's there trying to concentrate and he's muttering away at him/her in the manner of Grandpa Simpson. I feel sorry for them though. They're just lonely.

Latchy

One of the reasons I will sit in the middle or back of a bus is allowing for frail, elderly people ,women with babies and prams ,pregnant women to access front seats .I always offer a seat if needs be

Gauge

Ciks wrote: »

What bothers me the most is something you see a lot of on Bus Eireann - people either sit in the aisle seat or pointedly leave their bags on the seat beside them. Nothing so sad as seeing an elderly person hobble the length of the bus only to find there are no free seats there, then having to walk back and ask someone if they would move themselves or their bag so they can sit. That's why I never do that. It's almost like these people are refusing the seat in advance.

Yes, this! I regularly got a bus where one woman was a repeat offender- this bus wasn't frequent and she got the bus at the same time as many people coming home from work, so it was always packed. She got on at the first stop and delicately placed her little clutch handbag on the seat beside her and refused to budge it unless someone specifically asked her, and then she would cop a snotty attitude - "What?! Well, I SUPPOSE I can hold it!"- and move the bag.

Absolutely miserable. This was a bus that passed two colleges as well, so most people on the bus were students with their laps full of bags and laptops and other things, and yet not only was she apparently incapable of holding her tiny bag, she was also apparently incapable of sitting next to other people.

springo

Interestingly enough, I had a relative who was pregnant. On the luas, and of course I offered her the seat as I thought it the polite thing to do.

Got treated like I was some kind of idiot offering her the seat because of her "big belly".

I've never been pregnant myself, so couldn't possibly understand, especially after being polite and not taking the seat myself. I can stand!

Latchy

I seen this happen myself on a bus and it was quite comical .A middle aged 'heavily built' guy gets on the fairly packed bus and looking around see's a coloured chap occupying a seat, with his shopping bag taking up the inside of seat .So as you would , the guy locks eyes with the seated bloke and murmers something to the effect of '' Urragh ' .

The blackman, with a bemused look on his face and without moving an inch looks him back in the eye and says '' Huh '' ?

'' Move fcuking over '' say's yer big man and the journey continued with both sat beside each other ,eyes locked in utter contempt LOL .

Made my day and nobody got hurt

Mr. Presentable

Latchy wrote: »

I seen this happen myself on a bus and it was quite comical .A middle aged 'heavily built' guy gets on the fairly packed bus and looking around see's a coloured chap occupying a seat, with his shopping bag taking up the inside of seat .So as you would , the guy locks eyes with the seated bloke and murmers something to the effect of '' Urragh ' .

The blackman, with a bemused look on his face and without moving an inch looks him back in the eye and says '' Huh '' ?

'' Move fcuking over '' say's yer big man and the journey continued with both sat beside each other ,eyes locked in utter contempt LOL .

Made my day and nobody got hurt

Slightly racist post inasmuch as you don't refer to the skin colour of the "big man"

Gauge

nipplenuts wrote: »

Slightly racist post inasmuch as you don't refer to the skin colour of the "big man"

Nice use of antiquated terms to describe the "coloured chap"/"blackman" though!

Ciks

nipplenuts wrote: »

Slightly racist post inasmuch as you don't refer to the skin colour of the "big man"

Ah yeah, but in fairness Latchy didn't make any remarks as to that man's weight or age as with the first man. Would we accuse Latchy of being sizest and ageist too? no....

Acacia

Latchy wrote: »

I seen this happen myself on a bus and it was quite comical .A middle aged 'heavily built' guy gets on the fairly packed bus and looking around see's a coloured chap occupying a seat, with his shopping bag taking up the inside of seat .So as you would , the guy locks eyes with the seated bloke and murmers something to the effect of '' Urragh ' .

The blackman, with a bemused look on his face and without moving an inch looks him back in the eye and says '' Huh '' ?

'' Move fcuking over '' say's yer big man and the journey continued with both sat beside each other ,eyes locked in utter contempt LOL .

Made my day and nobody got hurt

Is it me or did anybody not find this as much funny, as well...weird? Like the middle-aged guy was being really rude? If somebody said "Move fcuking over..." to me, they'd get told where to go, I'm afraid.

LivingDeadGirl

This is not a recent phenomenon at all. When my mom was 8 months pregnant with my sister(27 years ago) she was getting the bus home one day from town(Cork). She stood at the bus stop waiting in a small cue. When the bus arrived hoards of people who had been standing in doorways and shops all rushed in front of her and got on the bus before her, leaving no free seats for a heavily pregnant woman. When she got on the bus not one person offered her a seat. She saw a woman sitting with her shopping bag on the seat next to her, and asked her could she sit there and the reply she got was 'You must be joking! Go away out of that!!' and was left to stand for the duration of the journey.

Ciks

LivingDeadGirl wrote: »

She saw a woman sitting with her shopping bag on the seat next to her, and asked her could she sit there and the reply she got was 'You must be joking! Go away out of that!!'.

I can't BELIEVE that! How horrible!

Latchy

nipplenuts wrote: »

Slightly racist post inasmuch as you don't refer to the skin colour of the "big man"

No No ,nothing racist about it at all .If the blackman had being any other race or skin colour I would have said so to .Mistake was probably forgetting to say the big guy was white .

Ciks wrote: »

Ah yeah, but in fairness Latchy didn't make any remarks as to that man's weight or age as with the first man. Would we accuse Latchy of being sizest and ageist too? no....

The size of the man mentioned was only used in the context of funniness of the situation .I forgot to say that everybody on the bus was amused by the looks the two men were giving each other ,not just me .

Acacia wrote: »

Is it me or did anybody not find this as much funny, as well...weird? Like the middle-aged guy was being really rude? If somebody said "Move fcuking over..." to me, they'd get told where to go, I'm afraid.

Think your missing the point slightly Acacia ,the blackman had his bag on the inside of the seat .Now perhaps he didn't understand but common sense tell's you that in a crowded bus situation ,if a large man (or womon ) comes looking for a seat and your bag is taken up side one then you move it and allow the person to sit down .Now while The large man may have being OTT in his choice of words ,it was the way he come out with it and the expression on the blackman face that made it funny .His colour had nothing to do with it , he just hapened to be black but the big guy would I think have said the same to anybody regardless the race . I do agree , most people such as yourself might have told big guy were to go .But in this case it was a comedy of errors more then anything else

But looking back I can understand how it might have being percieved I was using that incident in a racist tone .

Ciks

The size of the man mentioned was only used in the context of funniness of the situation .I forgot to say that everybody on the bus was amused by the looks the two men were giving each other ,not just me .

No, I was defending you. Sometimes the over zealous PC brigade get on my nerves :P

Latchy

Ciks wrote: »

No, I was defending you. Sometimes the over zealous PC brigade get on my nerves :P

LOL , Cheers .:D

Actually I should have got the size ,race , colour of everbody on that bus before posting

allabouteve

Latchy wrote: »

But looking back I can understand how it might have being percieved I was using that incident in a racist tone .

Fairly obvious it wasn't intentional imo.:)

This is Ireland. Most people are white, that is a fact. People use various means of describing people, hair colour, height, size, whatever and colour of skin goes in there too.

Do you think if it was a bus in Nigeria and a white man was on the bus, the person telling this story would leave out the bit about them being white? no, they wouldn't. Just because you notice someone is different does not make you racist.

Rant over

WindSock

Avatar snap!

FruitLover

Scien wrote: »

MY upbringing thought me to be polite and courteous

...

Insulted?
Would you be insulted if i opened a door for you?
Afterall, you are a perfectly fit, healthy woman

If you were genuinely polite/courteous, surely you'd offer a seat or open a door for someone regardless of gender? Offering someone a seat (or indeed holding a door open for someone) specifically because they have a pair of knockers is gender-based discrimination, whether you want to admit it or not.

Salome wrote: »

I do respect the elderly but some elderly people, mostly women in my experience, don't show any respect to others. I find this remarkably rude. Respect is a two-way thing, IMO.

Yup, just because someone has more life experience, it doesn't exempt them from being a dick.

TheRealBoss

Deleted User wrote: »

This is Ireland. Most people are white, that is a fact. People use various means of describing people, hair colour, height, size, whatever and colour of skin goes in there too.

Do you think if it was a bus in Nigeria and a white man was on the bus, the person telling this story would leave out the bit about them being white? no, they wouldn't. Just because you notice someone is different does not make you racist.

Rant over

Slightly off-topic ...... but my 7 year old son was talking about one of the kids he plays soccer with (the only black kid there as it happened , my kid is white .... just to keep everybody happy:rolleyes:) ...... and he described him as "the fella with the big lips".

I laughed for ages at the innoncence of it ...... skin colour meant absolutely nothing to my young lad ...... long may it last

Acacia

Latchy wrote: »

Think your missing the point slightly Acacia ,the blackman had his bag on the inside of the seat .Now perhaps he didn't understand but common sense tell's you that in a crowded bus situation ,if a large man (or womon ) comes looking for a seat and your bag is taken up side one then you move it and allow the person to sit down .Now while The large man may have being OTT in his choice of words ,it was the way he come out with it and the expression on the blackman face that made it funny .His colour had nothing to do with it , he just hapened to be black but the big guy would I think have said the same to anybody regardless the race . I do agree , most people such as yourself might have told big guy were to go .But in this case it was a comedy of errors more then anything else

But looking back I can understand how it might have being percieved I was using that incident in a racist tone .

I don't think it was racist ( or what you said was racist.) What else are you meant to say except, "the black man"? I just thought the big guy was being rude. Many a time I've had my bag on the seat and somebody politely asked me to move it, so I do (if I haven't done so already)- everyone's happy. I just think the big guy wasn't particularly nice about it, tbh.