How long did it take you to fall in love...?

Niamho!

...With your other Half?

Just curious really...I was talking about it with my Cousin.
It'll be interesting to see the different replies.

roughly when did you realise you loved them?

Puddleduck

I knew pretty soon in. Think we were three months together when it just kinda hit me one day. I liked him waaaaayyy before I met him though.

Maddison

Bout 2 days:-P!!

jellie

shortest time was probably about 3 months.

i dont think you can actually LOVE someone in a matter of days/weeks. you might have a giant amount of lust, but i dont see how you can love someone without knowing them.

liah

First one (2+ years) in about 3 months, 2nd one (1 year) 3 days. Both under exceptional circumstances, was living with the first within a week due to getting kicked out of my own place at 17 and the 2nd one I'd known online for a year prior, and lived with them when I met him as he'd offered me a place to stay briefly when I first arrived in Manchester as I was going to Scotland the next week.. and then we just kind of went everywhere together from then on and were never apart.

I'd like to have a normal relationship for once though, lol, see how that goes..

AnnieB82

I've only been in love once and I think it took me about 3 months to feel it. My partner said he was falling in love with me a little before I felt it too, thankfully my feelings caught up.

Malari

sar84 wrote: »

i dont think you can actually LOVE someone in a matter of days/weeks. you might have a giant amount of lust, but i dont see how you can love someone without knowing them.

I respectfully disagree!

I fell in love within a week. Our first date lasted almost an entire day and we spent virtually every spare minute together for the next week. I knew I loved him by the end of the week and he felt the same.

Obviously, love gets stronger and changes over time though, as you get to know each other more intimately.

JC 2K3

I enjoy, but write off the first oxytocin wave. You're going to get that in any relationship really.

I consider to be in love with someone if, after the initial wave has calmed down and your situation in the relationship has normalised somewhat, you get a second, equally or more powerful oxytocin rush.

Ginny

Not long at all, but to be fair we knew each other for a long time before we got together, he was one of the only people I could be competely open with so we knew each other before we got together.

MadgeBadge

I knew, almost instantly that I was going to fall in love with my ex, does that count?

I've only been in love once, and it took about 6 months, and the best part of a year to fall out of it.
My parents got engaged two weeks in, after having a big dirty row for the whole of the first week.
My dad had stood my Mamie up on their first date, and she was livid. So he had to camp outside her front door and beg, for a week to get a second. Thankfully for me though....it worked.

mollybird

god i don't really know when i fell in love with my OH. was keeping my wall up for such a long time as been badly hurt the last time. id say nearly a year in. and by then i knew he was the one for me:p

Jemmy

Moonbaby wrote: »

I've only been in love once, and it took about 6 months, and the best part of a year to fall out of it

IMO its easy falling in love the hard part is falling out of it after.

taram

About 6 weeks, but we've been best friends for 3 years, so loved him and trusted him like that anyway.

jellie

Jemmy wrote: »

IMO its easy falling in love the hard part is falling out of it after.

yup. unfortunately

Malari wrote: »

I respectfully disagree!

I fell in love within a week. Our first date lasted almost an entire day and we spent virtually every spare minute together for the next week. I knew I loved him by the end of the week and he felt the same.

Obviously, love gets stronger and changes over time though, as you get to know each other more intimately.

maybe im just reallly cynical then :P i just dont see how you can know someone well enough to love them in such a short time. but hey, if it worked for you then youre a lucky girl

Malari

sar84 wrote: »

maybe im just reallly cynical then :P i just dont see how you can know someone well enough to love them in such a short time. but hey, if it worked for you then youre a lucky girl

It doesn't always work like that, so maybe I am lucky.

The only other guy I was in love with it took me much longer, probably because I was being cautious, as I had this idea he was a bit of a playa!!:p

Otis Driftwood

I realised I was in love with my last GF about 4 months in.We were sitting outside having a cigarette during a wedding reception at Brooklodge House in Wicklow.She was sitting on my knee and we were over looking a huge garden with a fountain.(corny or what)It was about 9pm and was a beautiful calm night.I looked at her and the way she looked in the moon light literally took my breath away.I just got a massive adrenaline rush and told her there and then.:o

SeekUp

Took me about seven or right months . . . we were apart for a lot of that time, and it was hard for me to tell if it was love or if I was just missing him. Didn't tell him until about another few months though, because I obviously wanted to do it in person. Was a good move on my part.

MJOR

about an hour after we met in person for the first time....

nomorebadtown

at 23 i have no idea what love is....i think its just something we say to those close to us because we feel we need to give it a name...i tell my gf i love her quite frequently but sometimes this makes me feel like a bit of a fraud because i dont really know what i'm saying...does that makes sense?:(

lets see...i miss her when she's gone, i get all tingly when we kiss, i enjoy making her happy and making her laugh, i would completely lose it if anyone hurt her, i get very upset when we fight, nobody can annoy/embarass me more than her, sometimes i need to be away from her, sometimes i would walk all night in the rain for a 5 minute cuddle from her, she's a bitch, i'm her bitch, she's a work of art, she's a piece of work, her opinion of me matters a great deal to me...if/when we break up i dont know how i'll cope.

....is this love?

Lobelia Overhill

I don't have an other half these days, but many many years ago I fell in love at first sight.

Nothing ever came of it tho', he thought I was an aul hag - turned out I was a couple of years older than him

Piste

nomorebadtown wrote: »

at 23 i have no idea what love is....i think its just something we say to those close to us because we feel we need to give it a name...i tell my gf i love her quite frequently but sometimes this makes me feel like a bit of a fraud because i dont really know what i'm saying...does that makes sense?:(

lets see...i miss her when she's gone, i get all tingly when we kiss, i enjoy making her happy and making her laugh, i would completely lose it if anyone hurt her, i get very upset when we fight, nobody can annoy/embarass me more than her, sometimes i need to be away from her, sometimes i would walk all night in the rain for a 5 minute cuddle from her, she's a bitch, i'm her bitch, she's a work of art, she's a piece of work, her opinion of me matters a great deal to me...if/when we break up i dont know how i'll cope.

....is this love?

Only you can know that really, no two people will feel exactly the same mix of chemicals in the same way. Basically I decided that what I felt was "love" for my boyfriend after realising I had never felt that way about anyone before.

I think the term is relative though, because years down the line we could be broken up and I might never meet someone I like as much so I would call what I felt for him "love". However, if I felt much more strongly about someone else in years to come I'd be calling that "love" and possibly telling myself I didn't know what love is when I was younger.

I don't know if I explained that properly, but in a nutshell I think love is just the incredibly positive feeling you have for someone that is stronger (or maybe as strong) than anything you've ever felt before.

Of course going by my logic you could say a young teenager with her first crush would be in love cos she never felt that strongly about anyone before, but even though I'm using my own logic here I don't agree with it (am I arguing with myself?I think I am, oh dear...) but can't really explain why >.<

I guess everyone has their own take on what constitutes love, as there's no universal definition or understanding of it, personally I don't think unrequited love exists, it's just infatuation. For me, love exists between two people and has to be mutual.

Anyway, I realised I was in love with my boyfriend about 2 months after officially starting to go out together, but before those 2 months we were best friends and already knew eachother really well. I just sorta saw love as a natural progression in our friendship, it was a subtle change in dynamic in our relationship and just felt...I dunno, natural or something, like it shouldn't be any other way.

Salome

It took me a few months tbh but it took him a matter of weeks. I had been burned from a previous relationship so I was a little wary about diving in head first. Glad we did though! We're buying a house together now!

I noticed a few months ago, that when I was driving somewhere to meet him, that the moment I spotted him, a bit goofy smile came over my face. Blissfully in love!

allandanyways

3months seems to be the average.. Was about 3 months,maybe a bit less, we'd just got back from his home in Donegal after I'd met the family and all his friends from home. Was just so great getting to know more about him and his life away from college and just kinda realised it one night after we'd got back. He's feckin' great

Clare Bear

I knew pretty much straight away that this was different. It was 2 months when we said it. He hinted at it earlier on but I was more cautious and kept running away when he said it

jellie

Clare Bear wrote: »

He hinted at it earlier on but I was more cautious and kept running away when he said it

heh 1 of my exes was like that. i knew by him that he wanted to say it by certain things hed say & i just kept changing the subject cause i couldnt deal with it so soon! for a long time he told me he was "falling in love with me" which was slightly less scary.

Amy33

I think I'm in love, but he doesn't feel the same way.:(

Niamho!

sar84 wrote: »

heh 1 of my exes was like that. i knew by him that he wanted to say it by certain things hed say & i just kept changing the subject cause i couldnt deal with it so soon! for a long time he told me he was "falling in love with me" which was slightly less scary.

see...i think thats scarier than "I love you" haha

jellie

Niamho! wrote: »

see...i think thats scarier than "I love you" haha

how is nearly being in love scarier than being in love?

SarahSassy

It was about 6 weeks after I met him. It was June and we were outside his house having a BBQ and a few glasses of vino.. He walked past me and I just knew thought 'I love him' and then had a little panic to myself saying 'its too soon, maybe he doesnt feel the same, you might get hurt etc etc etc ' and then that was it, nothing was said and we went on to have a good evening.

Next morning he was half awake and turned to me and said ' i dreamed last night that you told me you loved me' - I nearly dropped dead wondering if I had said something in my sleep or after the wine but I hadnt... He told me he loved me later that week and the rest is history...

The funny thing is how intuitive / psychic he was that night and has proved himself since to be many times. At times he can really read my mind.

Dinkie

With my first 'love' I think it took about 4-5 months.... It took him about the same length of time. We only realised when he got seriously sick and was in hospital for weeks and weeks.... it hit me that I didn't want to lose him.

The second time, it only took about 5 weeks. But we were flatmates before we started going out. He said it was love at first sight for him. I arrived at the door with a carton of beer and that was the clincher It took a couple of weeks after that for us to get together though - and we went out for 5 years after that....


It is very difficult sometimes to distinguish between love and lust... and sometimes it takes a long while to do that.

Everyone is different though. A friend of mine says she knew after the first night that her now husband of 6 years was the man for her. It took another friend nearly a year.