"I give up..... chasing women"

midouri

Deleted User wrote: »

as far as i can see, if you're not from galway city, the place is a disaster for dating and most people would agree..

trying to think now if i know any people who moved to galway and have started going out with someone not through college/student accomodation.. can't actually think of any.

I have to agree with ya...being a dublin gal it is a bit of a disaster down here.

I would say though.....if ur out looking to meet someone ...you generally don't...
it seems like when you're looking...one sends out some kinda signal (almost one of desperation). It's funny how its picked up subconsciously i think.

I'm sure you're a nice guy but just (like someone else put it) chill out. Don't be too eager to impress either...just act a little cool when ur out. First and foremost, go out to have a good night with ur mates and if you meet someone thats a bonus. I myself don't look nowadays and if i meet someone its great but there is absolutely nothing that wrecks my head more than meeting up with a group of women who are just trying to look cool but are reeking desperation.......i have met a few over the last few years (they are mates with ya until they find a guy and then ya don't see em for dust....it's sheer pathetic).
Best of luck...don't let it beat ya...chin up...you will meet someone, but try forget bout it and it will happen naturally.

miscac

Oh man, some of the replies are great

OK, I should clear things up a bit tho first. Most of the time I meet girls in pubs and end up chatting to them in some shape or form, then if they seem interested or are sound, I ask for their number at the end of the night. I'd text them later to see if they want to meet up for drinks during the week, and yeah then I would offer buy them a drink. Most refuse to be bought drinks actually.

But there is a definite common ground with both sexes here, and that is... not to approach women with the idea of trying to score, at all. If it happens it happens kinda logic. Which changes my idea of women wanting to be sought after.

But this does fit in with my experiences with when I actually do score. It happens randomly when blind drunk. I have no idea how it happens, mostly because I can't remember when I wake up the next morning. I was kinda hoping to move away from that idea, but... it works better than this approach.

Oh and good point Mighty_Mouse, thanks for the replies

midouri

chinapples wrote: »

I don't understand why your going out to try and date women?surely a woman will see a desperate guy(i am sorry but this is what you sound like)....whatever happened to heading out on a night out,enjoying the craic,few pints and then wayhey! if you end up scoring,you do-but jesus do not be going out of your way to buy women drinks and going to the bar to spark up conversation with them-that is merely giving all those women who see a "free drinks" guy at the bar an easy opportunity to take advantage and an easy way to save their money.I have several friends who I know would do this, it is really horrible and I think if you are as nice a guy as you say,it'll come eventually...but stop giving those "scabby" women the chance to take you for granted....I genuinely have never gone out to score a guy, never! Thanks be to god,I have a great boyfriend who I am with 3years and he didnt have to buy me a drink to chat me up....Stop thinking you need to buy women drinks all the time to get noticed....you'll have a burnt pocket and a dodgy burn smell from your chinos if you do!

I doubt he thinks he needs to buy drinks for women....c'mon give the guy a break...it's called being a gentleman...he's not a fool just descent

midouri

Fionn MacCool wrote: »

What sort of mug buys burds drinks? You can be nice without offering to buy a drink you know, and any burd who demands a drink can get tae ****.

cop on....don't change and become like this prat

Pete4779

miscac wrote: »

"The basics" are things that I think wouldn't send a woman screaming in the other direction, but good point.

There are no basics other than you are not a rapist. You have to be yourself and stop being all things to all people. The fact that you say your "basics" are there so a woman run off screaming, actually screams of an inferiority complex.

What you want is women running screaming towards you. At the moment, all that you can show is that they don't run away; which is why, ironically, you find yourself right in the middle.

Mrs OBumble

Deleted User wrote: »

trying to think now if i know any people who moved to galway and have started going out with someone not through college/student accomodation.. can't actually think of any.

Me!

But I'm forr'in, the rules might be different for me.

Zzippy

Deleted User wrote: »

nope.

Cool. Good for you!

cL0h

jayoo wrote: »

i think when it comes to girls its all about confidence, Unfortnatuly i have none:(. Prob reason i dont go out much.

There's a fine line between confidence and self delusion. Some of the guys who come up "talking" to my girlfriend are seriously deluded.

As for this whole "I'm not from Galway. There's some kind of clique going on." I think that's an excuse. Most people who grew up and went to school in and around Galway city know more people around here so they don't have the same attitude as students/migrants from other parts.
If you make a fool of yourself trying to constantly chat up randomers, someone will inevitably know someone who knows you from elsewhere and you will get a reputation as... well... a fool even if the story never gets back to you.
This town gets smaller every day.

Tomebagel

i know this fine bird called Nora, im sure youve often seen her around town with a fag in her mouth... if ya want i could hook ye guys up?:p

ManoCornuta

I'm a girl, but I speak for myself in that there's nothing worse than dates.

I just...I just loathe them....

I might make an exception for Nora though. Fine bit of shtuff!

Bobeagleburger

OP, go dogging in the strand. Great way to meet new people

stiff kitten

the fact that you say that you are not "socially retarted" implies you actually are because you think that there are people who are retarted out there....just the wording is wrong...if you were talking to me on a night out and said that someone was socially retarted i would be thinking....(no he's no class)

secondly, you'll meet someone when the times right...
if you are desperate to meet someone, girls can feel the vibes...not good
chillax when your out, have the craic and see what happens..
:pac:

miscac

Pete4779 wrote: »

There are no basics other than you are not a rapist. You have to be yourself and stop being all things to all people. The fact that you say your "basics" are there so a woman run off screaming, actually screams of an inferiority complex.
What you want is women running screaming towards you. At the moment, all that you can show is that they don't run away; which is why, ironically, you find yourself right in the middle.

Well I don't try to be all things to all people, I know that that's impossible, but you know, the "basics" would be what I would like within any person (dating or not) and I assumed that it would be the same for others.

As for the inferiority complex, well yeah I would say that that's a fair point, I would be outwardly confident, but not inwardly if you get my meaning.

stiff kitten wrote: »

the fact that you say that you are not "socially retarted" implies you actually are because you think that there are people who are retarted out there....just the wording is wrong...if you were talking to me on a night out and said that someone was socially retarted i would be thinking....(no he's no class)
secondly, you'll meet someone when the times right...
if you are desperate to meet someone, girls can feel the vibes...not good
chillax when your out, have the craic and see what happens..

I noticed a link that someone else pointed to about saying retarded, and for that I apologise if I caused any offense.

However if on a night out a girl took the hump over something she regarded as offensive, I would know that she would definitly not be my type. It would mean that I could never be myself around her and I would have to watch what I say. Although by doing this I'm sure I'm pretty much eliminating ~95% of the female population.

As for your second point, most people here are also saying the same thing.
Thanks for the replies :P

oneofakind32

I have come to 2 conclusions,
1. Woman don't want nice guys.
2. Life is a series of crushing defeats so you might as well take up chain smoking.

ManoCornuta

I'm afraid oneofakind32 may be right, I'ven ever fancied quintessential "nice guys" and only last night a mate asked me if I'd do a mate of ours and I told him no because he was too nice

cornbb

Can I ask what age you are ManoCornuta, just out of sheer curiosity? Hope I don't sound like I'm being rude, I'm just wondering if its just younger women who have this attitude about "nice guys" or if the same attitude sticks around in, say, the late 20s or early 30s, when a lot of women might be looking for something a bit more serious.

oneofakind32

cornbb wrote: »

Can I ask what age you are ManoCornuta, just out of sheer curiosity? Hope I don't sound like I'm being rude, I'm just wondering if its just younger women who have this attitude about "nice guys" or if the same attitude sticks around in, say, the late 20s or early 30s, when a lot of women might be looking for something a bit more serious.

I think younger women give nice guys more a chance. I think its also something to do with people wanting what they can't have.
Back to the topic, galway just isn't a great place for finding women anyway.

PopeBuckfastXVI

ManoCornuta wrote: »

I'm afraid oneofakind32 may be right, I'ven ever fancied quintessential "nice guys" and only last night a mate asked me if I'd do a mate of ours and I told him no because he was too nice

Enjoy your domestic abuse...

gaeilgegrinds

There is a certain appeal to, 'bad boys,' but in my opinion they rarely change. That reputation does not come from nowhere, they've earned it. When I was younger they are all I went for. Then I realised my, 'type,' didn't work and started seeing people who were not exactly that type. That is when things work out.

ManoCornuta

Going for guys who aren't quinessentially "nice guys" does not make me a doormat, nor a punchbag. I know plenty of guys who fit into my category, and not one has ever raised a hand to me. Thanks for the concern though PopeBuckfastXVI. Touching.

I'm 18 cornbb, and I think you may have a point about older women who are looking for something more serious perhaps going for nicer guys.

MattKid

midouri wrote: »

I doubt he thinks he needs to buy drinks for women....c'mon give the guy a break...it's called being a gentleman...he's not a fool just descent

Man walks into a bar and sits next to a gorgeous woman and says 'Wow those jeans are really tight fitting, are they hard to get into?'
She says 'You can start by buying me a drink!'

miscac

Well thanks for the replies guys, I think its been pretty much answered here. But ya know, I think there are worse things than being single and rejected.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCYIa-gDRfI (has strong language) :P

Wompa1

Chin up OneOfAKind...it is crap, women don't know what they want...some piss and moan about guys here not being romantic then when you are they snigger at you and look at ya like ya have two heads.
On the plus side the girls that go for the bad boys tend to look really mopey and dead inside so maybe they go for them as a form of self hurt...lucky for us they cop on and then in their later years give us a chance when they've been chewed up and spit out and have deep emotional problems.
I think the trick is just stay positive and something will come along..I've been pretty lucky in that I've liked pretty much all of my girlfriends. If I can find someone theres hope for us all. *Man grunt*

Mr. Incognito

Jaysus, I was in college in Galway for 5 years and rode all round me, but then again I'm a gorgeous a-hole.

Sounds like you're trying to hard man.

Can I go for a beer is cool and all but maybe you're trying to be all buddy buddy with their pals. Women, aye and men, are egomanics. Feed the ego and the body will fall. Instead of cracking high fives with her male pals and listening to sob stoires from her hair dresser friends, just be polite and listen to HER sob story - ladies , you all have them.
Also, where are YOUR mates. no point going out on your tod to meet her gang. If you want to go for a beer go with HER for a beer. If she's out with a gang, you'd best be out with a gang too.

Wompa1

Is this about getting the ride or getting a nice woman?

Fiddlesnap

ManoCornuta wrote: »

I'm afraid oneofakind32 may be right, I'ven ever fancied quintessential "nice guys" and only last night a mate asked me if I'd do a mate of ours and I told him no because he was too nice

Not always the case though. On having little luck with the nice guy route, I brought a small bag of house spiders of varying sizes with me on a date, released them on my dates lap and awaited the lavishing of love, lust and attention. I just got attention.

So there goes that theory.

gaeilgegrinds

Mr. Incognito is right. I think a man who is (or even pretends to be!) interested in a woman is definetely starting on the right foot. Asking questions and listening to the answers is great. Also...bit odd and I'll get slated for saying this but will anyway. I think men and women get too caught up on looks as in, who is better looking. Was chatted up by a guy lastnight (despite me being taken) who said he knew I was way out of his league but would chat anyway. I think that is so sad in the genuine sense of the word. Turned out to be a fab guy and ended up getting with my friend. The point being, trying never harmed anyone. So Saturday night it is, get your lad rags on and give it a go, conversation is key.

miscac

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

...maybe you're trying to be all buddy buddy with their pals. Women, aye and men, are egomanics. Feed the ego and the body will fall.

Also, where are YOUR mates. no point going out on your tod to meet her gang. If you want to go for a beer go with HER for a beer. If she's out with a gang, you'd best be out with a gang too.

Hmm, that is strange. I remember the last girl I went out to meet was in a large group of friends, I ended up getting on with most of them. But still rejected. This is another thing I assumed, that women want you to get on with their friends, but probably not like a house on fire on the first date huh?

And another girl I went out with said that she was intimidated by the amount of my friends... but that was probably an isolated case :rolleyes:

gaeilgegrinds wrote: »

The point being, trying never harmed anyone. So Saturday night it is, get your lad rags on and give it a go, conversation is key.

Ah yes, but not trying will work better... right?! Uhh... whatever, Ill just go back to having the craic and if it happens it happens :cool:

Discodog

ManoCornuta wrote: »

only last night a mate asked me if I'd do a mate of ours

Do a mate !!!!!! as in what ? Do his hair ?. So now one just asks a mate to ask another mate, preferably female, to "Do " you !.

ManoCornuta

Your mock moral outrage in response to a post about a question which was clearly hypothetical is very cute Discodog