"I give up..... chasing women"

Discodog

ManoCornuta wrote: »

Your mock moral outrage in response to a post about a question which was clearly hypothetical is very cute Discodog

As you are a Javelin thrower I agree totally, absolutely & I was not casting any kind of aspersions whatsoever. I would be tempted to ask if there was any chance of a hypothetical bonk but the thought of ending up like a lump of cheese on a cocktail stick has put me off !

Do I get a bonus point for knowing what a Mano Cornuta is ?

ManoCornuta

I'm on out of practice javelin thrower, I think our hypothetical bonking session will be safe enough.

I do play rugby though...but that just means I'm up for the tough stuff

Wompa1

ewwwww get a room you two

ManoCornuta

You get several bonus points for knowing what a Mano Cornuta is Discodog, I'm vey impressed!

Did you Google it or did you know it?

biko

Wompa1 wrote: »

ewwwww get a room you two

+1
Take it to PM, or a sleazy backstreet hotel

pointofnoreturn

miscac wrote: »

Hey guys,

I decided to post this topic here to see what kind of feedback it gets from both sexes.

My experience of dating in Galway

For the past couple of months I have been asking out a few girls, some I knew, some I had just met at a bar and decided to buy them a drink to start conversation and wanted to see if they would go on a date. I'm a 25 year old university student, and should be in my prime for dating women, I'm also nice, funny, good taste in music/films, decent looking... you know... all the basics are there, nothing that would instantly turn a girl away. I have no problem talking to girls and have a sizable amount of friends of both sexes, pretty much 50-50, so I'm not socially retarded either. Well over the past few months I have asked several girls out and asked them for a drink, the majority accepted. But upon what I thought was a successful night with the girl (getting along with their friends, having fun, cracking jokes, sharing interests) I ask if we can do this again? And I get the the ubiquitous line "I think you are a really nice guy, but no." This has been my dating experience.

This whole "nice guy" thing seems to be pretty detrimental for dating purposes. Now maybe I should be metro-sexual and start wearing skin tight jeans and look depressed and into myself all the time, or beef-up, follow football, wear expensive shirts and go dancing to lame music in the cattle mart that is CP's, but that's not me, however these guys always seem to have chicks hanging off them. Even the guys who are out and out dicks, which just baffles me.

"I give up!"

Now I understand that people go through dry patches, this is not the first one and it wont be the last, but id like to share something that has helped my brain quite a bit to any male going through this same situation. So after a drunken 8am conversation with my male friend who has the same bother as me, he came out with a great piece of drunken insight... "I give up". This "I give up" idea is a complete shift of paradigm for me. I have stopped actively looking for women, and it actually frees up a lot of thinking space in your brain... if you can understand where I'm coming from there. Anytime that I meet a new girl now that could be potential dating material and those thoughts of "how can I get her to notice me?" completely vanish as soon as I remember "I give up". This completely changes the stance and actually makes your night more enjoyable than chasing women during the night only to watch your efforts go to waste. It also leaves a lot more time for the dancefloor, and it's cheaper. Ironically its also well known that if you try not to get with a girl, the chances of you getting with her increase... overthinking this point can lead to a brainfart of epic proportions. :eek:

So this will be my mantra for quite a while I think, until something random happens. I'd like to know your opinion on this stance, from both sexes preferably.

Man this isn't new news, it's the same all the time I don't know if your approach is wrong but i can tell you, expecting to meet someone in a bar/club for a relationship just doesn't work! it's just Galway, even worse Ireland! maybe for a one night stand, fun or what every but not for Dating! like the others they all make this obvious.
If you want to succeed in this, you really really need to move fast, out 4 times a week, don't take numbers! they takes yours as you will have to pass over 100's of ppl, think of friends of friends, don't just limit to bars/clubs, everywhere you have an opportunity cafe, on the street, bus, train whatever! all are better places then a bar! especially an irish bar!

Best of luck but it works
btw.. are you Irish?

Ipanema

Hmm, interesting thread, the old dating in Galway conundrum.

A friend of mine runs events for singles: www.TheGalwayFlame.com

It's usually speed dating nights, and I help her out on the night.

People at the events so far have been really nice, genuine and very sound, and quite attractive looking too . Some of them have said it can be hard to meet people out in the usual scene. People at the speed dating night are just up for a night of meeting other singles and see where it takes them. So it might be worth giving it a whirl, and you'll have fun on the night at a minimum - when did u last regret meeting 15 single women :rolleyes:

Next night is tomorrow night, think there was still 1 or 2 places available, feel free to message me for details!

PopeBuckfastXVI

Ipanema wrote: »

People at the events so far have been really nice, genuine and very sound, and quite attractive looking too .

Got anything for desperate uggos? This is the interwebz you know.

Ipanema

Hey Pope, how uggo do you mean? Personality goes a long way, so I'm sure you'd be fine

woozymornings

Hi there,

you are trying too hard. And yes, there definitely is a "desperation vibe" that people sense off people who are trying too hard to be liked/"score". I know all about it, cos I am just like you, only female and 10 years older (and also not into scoring per se, preferably something more meaningful, but that's only the age progression thing). So you'd think I would know better. But no, not me, I never learn. I go for a complete waster every time, cos I seem to be completely, frustratingly unable to distinguish between genuineness and BS. Too eager, I suppose. So then I end up having a disastrous little affair time and again, always at cross-purposes with the guy, or just plain being made a fool of. And it's all my doing.

I know that doesn't sound like your problem, but what I thought when I read your OP, I should REALLY apply to myself: relax. Actually, "I give up" would be a good mantra for that, except that it sounds a bit too negative for my liking. But, whatever works for you to relax and stop thinking about getting off with people, instead focusing on fostering friendships and getting to know people. I feel that great stuff can happen between friends, too. But someone like you should be more focused on a particular type of girl, who will be willing and able to see past any weird vibes or insecurities on your part, on to the good stuff. (And be realistic about the amount of times you are going to meet them, and where - club scene is not conducive to much more than you have already experienced at the end of a hammered night out...). Sorry if all this sounds a bit deep for the purpose of finding an attractive person and getting off with her, but maybe just maybe, it's not utter drivel... Good luck!

Mozart1986

oneofakind32 wrote: »

I have come to 2 conclusions,
1. Woman don't want nice guys.
2. Life is a series of crushing defeats so you might as well take up chain smoking.

here here!

Mozart1986

gaeilgegrinds wrote: »

There is a certain appeal to, 'bad boys,' but in my opinion they rarely change. That reputation does not come from nowhere, they've earned it. When I was younger they are all I went for. Then I realised my, 'type,' didn't work and started seeing people who were not exactly that type. That is when things work out.

Sensible girl. No point in being pathological about these things. Ye have to open yourself up to unforeseen possibilities like an adult. Some people on this thread are just not adults, and that goes for alot of women and men in bars as well, whether they be 18, 28 or 38.

gaeilgegrinds

Thank you. I've learned the hard way. Bad boys are exactly that, bad.
Like men, many women enjoy the chase. However, in my opinion if you are enjoying the chase a bit too much, you're not really chasing the pot of gold and are simply happy sliding around that rainbow.
My present boyfriend is quiet. But he's right for me. I'm bubbly and outgoing and he always says he'd never have thought I'd go for him. I think the same. But one day, through mutual friends, we just clicked.
Get a wide group of friends, be there for them and some day, when you least expect it, and in my case had given up completely, it happens.
Best of luck

pointofnoreturn

gaeilgegrinds wrote: »

Thank you. I've learned the hard way. Bad boys are exactly that, bad.
Like men, many women enjoy the chase. However, in my opinion if you are enjoying the chase a bit too much, you're not really chasing the pot of gold and are simply happy sliding around that rainbow.
My present boyfriend is quiet. But he's right for me. I'm bubbly and outgoing and he always says he'd never have thought I'd go for him. I think the same. But one day, through mutual friends, we just clicked.
Get a wide group of friends, be there for them and some day, when you least expect it, and in my case had given up completely, it happens.
Best of luck

Yes it's true, your best to me people vi friends and family rather then just blindly out in the pub or club, but the thought of losing is the first sign you lost already, so i would avoid thinking that way

siobhan.murphy

miscac wrote: »

Hey guys,

I decided to post this topic here to see what kind of feedback it gets from both sexes.

My experience of dating in Galway

For the past couple of months I have been asking out a few girls, some I knew, some I had just met at a bar and decided to buy them a drink to start conversation and wanted to see if they would go on a date. I'm a 25 year old university student, and should be in my prime for dating women, I'm also nice, funny, good taste in music/films, decent looking... you know... all the basics are there, nothing that would instantly turn a girl away. I have no problem talking to girls and have a sizable amount of friends of both sexes, pretty much 50-50, so I'm not socially retarded either. Well over the past few months I have asked several girls out and asked them for a drink, the majority accepted. But upon what I thought was a successful night with the girl (getting along with their friends, having fun, cracking jokes, sharing interests) I ask if we can do this again? And I get the the ubiquitous line "I think you are a really nice guy, but no." This has been my dating experience.

This whole "nice guy" thing seems to be pretty detrimental for dating purposes. Now maybe I should be metro-sexual and start wearing skin tight jeans and look depressed and into myself all the time, or beef-up, follow football, wear expensive shirts and go dancing to lame music in the cattle mart that is CP's, but that's not me, however these guys always seem to have chicks hanging off them. Even the guys who are out and out dicks, which just baffles me.

"I give up!"

Now I understand that people go through dry patches, this is not the first one and it wont be the last, but id like to share something that has helped my brain quite a bit to any male going through this same situation. So after a drunken 8am conversation with my male friend who has the same bother as me, he came out with a great piece of drunken insight... "I give up". This "I give up" idea is a complete shift of paradigm for me. I have stopped actively looking for women, and it actually frees up a lot of thinking space in your brain... if you can understand where I'm coming from there. Anytime that I meet a new girl now that could be potential dating material and those thoughts of "how can I get her to notice me?" completely vanish as soon as I remember "I give up". This completely changes the stance and actually makes your night more enjoyable than chasing women during the night only to watch your efforts go to waste. It also leaves a lot more time for the dancefloor, and it's cheaper. Ironically its also well known that if you try not to get with a girl, the chances of you getting with her increase... overthinking this point can lead to a brainfart of epic proportions. :eek:

So this will be my mantra for quite a while I think, until something random happens. I'd like to know your opinion on this stance, from both sexes preferably.

post a pic!

Redhairedguy

siobhan.murphy wrote: »

post a pic!

Where is Kristinax when you need her?

Also, is it a good idea to post pictures of oneself on the Galway Forum? What with the size of this darned city.... :rolleyes:

oneofakind32

Redhairedguy wrote: »

What with the size of this darned city.... :rolleyes:

Getting smaller by the second!! At least there is a few tourists around these days to mix it up a bit!

bigeasyeah

So OP,did you really stop chasing broads?

crystal castle

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Jaysus, I was in college in Galway for 5 years and rode all round me, but then again I'm a gorgeous a-hole.

That's why you're a moderator on an internet message board.

Xiney

slept his way to the top.

*looks over at her three forums* :pac:

cornbb

Xiney wrote: »

slept his way to the top.

*looks over at her three forums* :pac:

I'm only got one forum, I'm such a prude

bodhrandude

Ive not been in a relationship since the mid-90s. I sorta gave up then after trying to find someone and here I am, still single. Started going to rock / dance festivals in the summer, dance tents are by far, better than nightclubbing for meeting people. Saying that, not much confidence myself, being single does not bother too much, but some nights can be painfully lonely and you get fed up, pent up, angry and explosive, when television shows these relentless movies, where the good guy always gets the bird, an absolute pile of bullplop.

Wompa1

After a while the girls that went out with a-holes that screwed them over will look for a nice guy and then that's your chance...when they are all used up, have given themselves to the type of guy you'd want to punch in the nuts and are cynical emotional wrecks...

...issues! My dating experience in Galway was crap until I turned about 22. After the girls had already been through their wild teen years.

Verbal_Kint

i just skipped to the end so if its been said **** it i will say it better.

you seem like your trying to be her friend. if she doesn't shag her friends then why do you want to be her friend. plainest way i can put it.

girls want a fella to kind of put them on the spot, challenge them a bit, have a laugh, even take the piss out of them a little bit.

once you get a laugh out of her give her the cheeky grin look into her eyes for a few seconds and then look away and start talking to whoever else in in the group and bring her into the conversation after a few seconds. rinse and repeat and couple of times and then focus your attention on her.

if you make it really obvious you want it, you wont get it!

having a good wingman and chatting up two girls at once is way easier than going solo.

and jesus never mention sex within the first hour of meeting and never try to find a movie you both like so you can talk about it, you may as well throw some ice down your pants.

if you ever heard the phrase nice guys finish last, well that goes double when chatting up girls no matter what the females on here say they still like the disinterested interesting funny guy with the cheeky grin and a quick tounge:)

mikom

Verbal_Kint wrote: »

they still like the disinterested interesting funny guy with the cheeky grin and a quick tounge:)

Sounds like someone on day release from St Brigid's Psychiatric Hospital Ballinasloe.

milktwosugars

HI, I'm a girl in a long term relationship. My boyfriend is from galway, we met in galway and we met on a night out. I wasn't looking for a serious thing at all, or even a thing....but 4 years on, we're still going strong. So...here is what I would tell a friend about the place I've grown up in...

1. Don't be obnoxious/ignorant/mean/drunk loose handed pervert to girls or even to girls who reject you. We talk, alot. Way way too much. Galway is too small and that's going to work to your advantage or disadvantage.
2. Be you're nice sweet self, but never too nice. If you're too nice you'll fall into the friend category, which you seem to be doing. We're the emotional version of men. If we feel that we can have you, we won't want you as much as we should. So leave things open a little, maybe don't text straight away, don't phone, feic up a little and then make up for it. It makes us feel romanced rather than caught up with something we're a bit unsure about.

The above rules go for most girls I know, my close friends and I would often joke about what masochists we are...We're lovely girls, no issues or serious self esteem problems, it's just the way we work.:P

yourmano

One thing about Galway...it is tiny. Regarding men, there are really under a dozen, 'groups,' as in everyone seems to know someone in one of these groups. My gfs friend has made the mistake of being with someone in each of those groups, roll on nights out in Limerick, Athlone and further afield cos it ain't gona happen for her here in Galway.
Be nice, not too nice and just chat to a girl and then...coffee the next day. They love it. You're not trying it on with them or snogging the face off them and by the following weekend she'll be eating out of your hand. And end that coffee date early, keep her keen. As for real ladies...there are only a handful hanging around these days from what I can see and that's what I wanted and wouldn't settle for less. Best of luck dude.

Verbal_Kint

sorry, but what the hell are you on about?

"there are less than 12 groups of fellas in galway"

"Be nice, not too nice and just chat to a girl and then...coffee the next day."

lad have you been watching a bit of the sex in the city? coffee the next day, im literally laughing my ass of here after that even in the middle of trying to fill out a balls of a grant form. thanks.

tman

Verbal_Kint wrote: »

lad have you been watching a bit of the sex in the city? coffee the next day, im literally laughing my ass of here after that even in the middle of trying to fill out a balls of a grant form. thanks.

He must've been reading too many of Gailgegrinds' posts:P
Galway sucks ass for meeting women, you actually have to put effort into it!

the-island-man

All i can add is that if you want to get to know a girl nightclubs are a complete disater! How are you supposed to have a conversation with a girl when you have to shout everything into her ear!
Also trying to get the confidence to talk to a girl with no alcohol in your system is sooo hard!