Swine FLu Cure !

dak

"The only known cure for Swine Flu has been found to be the liberal application of oinkment."

Boxman

That being topical?

dak

Boxman wrote: »

That being topical?

Sorry for misleading you! I'm telling porkies!

deadwood

dak wrote: »

Sorry for misleading you! I'm telling porkies!

I'm gonna squeal.

dak

I just heard on the ham radio that if this becomes an epidemic Nintendo are ready to bring out a new console called BOAR.DS lite ......I think it will get the chop!

foxy06

It's not a laughing matter lads. Think I might have it myself. Broke out in a rasher this morning.....

dak

foxy06 wrote: »

It's not a laughing matter lads. Think I might have it myself. Broke out in a rasher this morning.....

It could lead to a percycution ! Rind what you are saying!

WillyWonka

Yeah me too, had a terrible dose of the trotters this morning!

dak

If you have a fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue and an irrisistable urge to F**k in the mud then your going belly up !

Capt'n Midnight

Too much swine flu news, I'm boared already.

when asked if the oinkment would work a HSE spokesman said "you bet your bacon it will" and then pointed out that indeed "bacon is cured pork" He then stated they will keep an eye on the situation rather than making rasher decisions than necessary.

If it's spread via droplets then huffing and puffing may soon be outlawed too.

Esmeralda34

Pigs will fly... The prophesy is coming to pass, people! Swine flew...

JimmyO

I've decided that the currently popular condition is merely the past tense of that well know prediction: pigs will fly

Esmeralda34

Hi JimmyO

An interesting diversion...

The origin of the phrase is that "when pigs fly" refers to an event that will never happen.

I, for one, think this is very apt! The panic surrounding this is obviously a welcome distraction from our current economic pigsty and on a par with the cow going over the moon!

Es

Steo46

Pigs will fly when the swine flu meets the bird flu.

dak

John ( Redneck) comes home an sayyys to Mazzie his wife ... Mazzie I wan you to go an have a swine flu thingy test ! Ahhhh John why in hell would I want to do that .. I ain't never been to Mexico an I don't feel bad.

Well Mazzie I thinks you should cos yous had some damsome pigs in your life !

dak

John ( Redneck) comes home an sayyys to Mazzie his wife ... Mazzie I wan you to go an have a swine flu thingy test ! Ahhhh John why in hell would I want to do that .. I ain't never been to Mexico an I don't feel bad.

Well Mazzie I thinks you should cos yous had some damsome pigs in your life !

gollybaby

ye're a bunch of bad bastar#s making jokes about something that is killing hundreds of people. you know what they say mocking is catching and i hope it does for ye in this case. how immature-grow up idiots

mickoneill30

gollybaby wrote: »

ye're a bunch of bad bastar#s making jokes about something that is killing hundreds of people. you know what they say mocking is catching and i hope it does for ye in this case. how immature-grow up idiots

Now that was funny

Mate it's in the Humour forum.

patmac

gollybaby wrote: »

ye're a bunch of bad bastar#s making jokes about something that is killing hundreds of people. you know what they say mocking is catching and i hope it does for ye in this case. how immature-grow up idiots

You should read the charter or you will get the chop!

Hagar

gollybaby wrote: »

ye're a bunch of bad bastar#s making jokes about something that is killing hundreds of people. you know what they say mocking is catching and i hope it does for ye in this case. how immature-grow up idiots

Reported. For posting in pink.

gollybaby

and why cant i post in pink,sorry now but why is pink available if i cant use it.report away,i read the rules and didn't see that anywhere

Blackhorse Slim

gollybaby wrote: »

ye're a bunch of bad bastar#s making jokes about something that is killing hundreds of people. you know what they say mocking is catching and i hope it does for ye in this case. how immature-grow up idiots

This from someone with a racist username? :rolleyes:

dak

Hagar wrote: »

Reported. For posting in pink.

I suppose it could looked at be a pinky and perky ( Cartoon pigs) !

patmac

gollybaby wrote: »

and why cant i post in pink,sorry now but why is pink available if i cant use it.report away,i read the rules and didn't see that anywhere

This is a humour forum, it's for people with a sense of humour, might't suit you.

vibe666

i think I might have it, I've had scratchings all wheeeeek!

Capt'n Midnight

gollybaby wrote: »

ye're a bunch of bad bastar#s making jokes about something that is killing hundreds of people. you know what they say mocking is catching and i hope it does for ye in this case. how immature-grow up idiots

http://www.who.int/csr/don/2009_04_27/en/index.html
Only 7 confirmed deaths from it so far, not hundreds. And people die here every year from ordinary flu.
cba looking up the statistics but more people have died on Irish roads since this started, probably more suicides here and probably a similar number of junkies OD'd too.

I love the way some people desire to be offended.

"Apparently my mate's got Swine Flu, I think he's just telling porkies, though."

It was once said that a black man would be president "when pigs fly." Indeed, 100 days into Obama's presidency.... SWINE FLU

Capt'n Midnight

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy had influenza A virus subtype hemagglutinin protein 1 neuraminidase protein 1.

Capt'n Midnight

The HSE have set up a help line for swine flu.
I called them but all I could hear was crackling



After watching Arsenals' performance tonight surely Mexican striker Carlos Vela should have played.

I mean, who's gonna mark him?





Doctors say that the best way to avoid Swine Flu is to stop shaking hands.
Michael J Fox must be sh*tting himself.



Anyone else awaiting the first Policeman to be diagnosed with swine flu?



I always knew pigs were intelligent. And now look, they've found a solution to reduce CO2 emissions, reduce an unsustainable population and save us from global warming.



I hope Kermit’s OK



Admit it, you also want to see what would happen if the swine flu becomes a full scale pandemic.



A man walks into the doctors' and tells the doctor, "I think I've got swine flu."
The doctor asks him, "How long have you felt like this?"
To which the man replies, "About a weeeeeeeek!"



Americans are thought to be concerned by the Swine Flu Outbreak in Mexico. They fear they may have to do some work themselves instead of making the Mexicans do it for them.



Bored on your way to work, on the bus, tube or train?...... Pretend you're on the phone and talk about how you've just got back from your 4 week tour of Mexico. Hang up, then sneeze and cough all over the person sitting next to you.



As a friendship gesture to promote friendly relations, fans of Liverpool FC have held a whipround to send Man Utd players on a luxury holiday to Mexico.



Is this the Chinese year of the Pig?


First we had, Aids, followed by SARS and foot & mouth. We then had bird flu and now swine flu... it's like Pokemon - I got to catch 'em all.



Swine flu? What's ta' fuss lad ?
S'nowt.


So Swine Flu, know somebody ill?
Go to Moonpig.com
Great Get well soon cards.


When my wife found out I was cheating I thought my marriage was doomed...
but she took it suprisingly well,
even packed my favourite Mexican bacon burritos for lunch today!


A Mexican was recently interviewed:
"Our country has been deeply affected by recession, we are the source of Swine Flu; and now we have just been hit by an earthquake. Still beats being American! High five ése!"

dak

gollybaby wrote: »

ye're a bunch of bad bastar#s making jokes about something that is killing hundreds of people. you know what they say mocking is catching and i hope it does for ye in this case. how immature-grow up idiots

As OP of this thread I want to say this is a very ill humoured comment . If you feel the content is innapropriate take it up with Moderators. If you think the joke is crap you can rate it as such! No one in Humour would wish the Swine Flu or any ill fate to anyone ! Only the Immature would wish to cast curses on their fellow mankind so if anyone is a bad bastard .... I'll leave that thought with you !

Capt'n Midnight

I just heard on the news that, "Swine flu could potentially be a threat to every single person in England",…

…Well it’s a good thing I’m married then isn’t it.


Swine flu is getting serious, It has been reported to be a hamdemic, which may lead to the aporkolypse...



Oinkment won't work for Mexican Swine Flu..
You need Juantibiotics

dak

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

I just heard on the news that, "Swine flu could potentially be a threat to every single person in England",…

…Well it’s a good thing I’m married then isn’t it.


Swine flu is getting serious, It has been reported to be a hamdemic, which may lead to the aporkolypse...



Oinkment won't work for Mexican Swine Flu..
You need Juantibiotics

Said in great pig STYle !!