Rights when it suits!!!

MariMel

Not sure if this is the correct forum to be airing my annoyance....well downright frustration and anger at a situation that has arisen over the last few weeks.

My son is due to be assess by the Education Pyschologist in his school to rule in/out dyslexia. At first I was told his father would have to sign the form so that my son could be assessed.
Bear in mind that his father sees him for 2-3 days a YEAR!!!!. Sends a card at xmas and at birthdays....but doesnt phone/visit at any other time. I have NEVER stopped him, nor have I ever been anything other than accomodating whenever he does decide he wants to see my son.
Since we were never married, legally he has no rights regarding my son....I can apply for a passport etc without his permission.........but the Dept of Education NEPS will not assess him without his fathers permission!

I asked his father to sign the form to which he said that he didnt want to, that he didnt feel he had to....nor would he do it. That I should forge his signature if i wanted to!

I told the school this a few weeks ago......and now today i get the phonecall saying that without the signature they will not assess my son....but I could if i wanted to pay to get it done privately!!!

Each school can only assess a certain number of children a year if i cant get his signature soon it means my son will not be assessed this year and coudl fall through the cracks for next year if the numbers are reduced!

I am soo angry that basically I feel as if NEPS, the dept of Education......with my sons father....can in effect hold my sons education to ransom.

That his father has rights....when it suits whatever government dept you are dealing with. My son is also being assessed through the HSE by theirs pyschologists too due to stress/problems relating to a fire at our house last year. The HSE asked for his fathers signature but when i said that I was my sons sole legal guardian....his signature was not required.

It seems to me to be yet another time when government agencies have different rules....why cant they make their mind up!

Rant over.....

If anyone has any help or advice regarding this matter i'd love to hear.
Thanks x

Kildrought

Getting the assessment is the most important thing.

Sign it and hand it back along with sworn affadavit that you are the child's sole guardian.

Tell the jobsworth at the NEPS that they don't have the right to demand a signature of someone who has no legal relationship to your child. They might just as well be asking for your next door neighbour.

coffee_cake

Hi OP I would also get the sworn affidavit, my mother had to do this when I was a child and she was trying to apply for a passport etc with me even when I was 16 and arguing with the guards myself about it!!, it's interesting you say this is not required now!
But once you have that I think the sig shouldn't be required anymore.

MariMel

I met with the Educational Pyschologist this afternoon and I gave them my sons fathers address to send down the form directly to him saying that they can/will only assess him with his signature. I agreed to this as getting my son assessed is without doubt my main priority. I dont know what good itll do. But I remain optimistic that he will sign and return the form without any unnecessary hassle.

I must say that when i have applied for a passport, I did need an affidavit but that was a painless precedure and not at any time did i even have to contact my sons father.

byhookorbycrook

MariMel, what an awful situation to be in ,hope you can resolve it.NEPS assessments are like gold dust.

I don't follow what you mean when you say :
Each school can only assess a certain number of children a year if i cant get his signature soon it means my son will not be assessed this year and could fall through the cracks for next year if the numbers are reduced

Do you mean he wouldn't get assessed? Just be aware that a "diagnosis" of dyslexia doesn't entitle your son to anything at all.
Time was he''d get 30 mins per day one to one with a resource teacher, but not anymore .
If he is above the 10th percentile in literacy he mighn't even get learning support.:mad:

Sorry if this sounds negative, but I have met many parents who believed that a diagnosis of dyslexia was the "golden key" to all kinds of help and spent up to €600 for a private psychologist only to find it did not entitle the child to anything.

I know of one NEPS psychologist tells the school to do a dyslexia screening test rather than put the child forward to her.

Best of luck to you both.

PS Perhaps mention of the €600 might "encourage" the father to sign !!:)

miss no stars

MariMel you're being completely bullsh!tted. Taken from citizen's information website:

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/education/primary-and-post-primary-education/educational-supports/national_educational_psychological_service

How should children be selected for individual psychological assessment?

In general, teachers will have noticed those children who have difficulty in coping with the normal curriculum. Parents should be made aware of any difficulties being experienced by their child in school, long before there is any question of a psychological assessment. If required, parents should be encouraged to make arrangements for a check up on the child's general health, hearing and sight.
Before commissioning an individual psychological assessment for a child, school staff should explore the avenue of supplementary teaching.
If the school decides that an assessment is required for a particular child, the principal or a nominated teacher should arrange a personal interview with both parents and/or legal guardians.
The reasons for the assessment should be discussed and each section of the consent form for psychological assessment (form 1) explained before both parents are asked to sign the form. If one parent has legal custody, that signature will suffice. However, the parent without legal custody should also be made aware of the referral.
Psychologists who carry out assessments under this scheme are required to meet the parents. They will explain their findings to the parents and will give them a copy of the psychological report.

MariMel

Miss no stars.........thanks a million for that link....printing it off as i write this. Will bring it into the school tomorrow and see how it goes. Going to get a sworn affidavit too clarifying that I am my sons sole guardian.

Will keep you posted.

Thanks y'all.

MariMel

Gotta say....thanks a million for the support on here and the PM's I received.

I had phoned NEPS on monday asking for the legal standing on this issue....not what was policy(the way they do it). Rang again yesterday morning as my called hadnt been returned. In the mean time I phoned the citizens information asking them if their information was correct as NEPS were insisting on two signatures regardless of the fact I am my sons sole guardian. A very nice man in CI told me he would phone NEPS and clarify the situation.

Just as I was leaving to collect my son from school I got a phone call from NEPS. He started to explain that their are lots of different situations...which I appreciate.....regarding the parental set up for children in schools.
I asked him what exactly was the standing in relation to my one.

Turns out the Citizens information website is correct. Only my signature is needed for my son to be assessed. But the school/pychologist has to make reasonable effort to inform the other parent of what is happening. This in my case is a 3-4 line note saying that my son is going to be assessed by them. I have absolutely no problem with his father knowing....I had a huge problem with him being able to decide on/delay the whole procedure.

Later on the gentleman from the Citizens Information phoned me back too to say that their information was correct and that he had spoken to NEPS.

And after that too.....(my phone was hopping with all these calls yesterday)...the Pyschologist herself phoned to say that new forms had been issued needing only one signature in the case of one parent being sole guardian and that she will assess my son on tuesday morning!!!!!!!!!

I am thoroughly delighted.......

SerialComplaint

Great to hear it worked out. It does sound like it would be well worth while putting a complaint in writing to NEPS and/or the school to highlight the distress that was caused to you. This should help make sure it doesn't happen to others in future.