Criminal Justice (Miscellaneous Provisions) Bill 2009 guessing game

chem

Right all, lets have some fun. Seen as the bill will be out soon, lets try guess what will be in the bill.

Closest to the actual bill wins.

Rules:

1. Notting to detailed. Just general points eg: pistols banned

2. No telling stories of what you have been told by someone in the know:rolleyes:

3. Keep it simple and to the point.

4. Have fun

V Bull

chem wrote: »

Right all, lets have some fun. Seen as the bill will be out soon, lets try guess what will be in the bill.

Rules:

1. Notting to detailed. Just general points eg: pistols banned

Have fun

1. All pellet guns banned :D:D

oldzed

Issf shooting to be banned due to risk of shooters being strangled by bondage gear and spectators dying of old age and boredom:p

Sparks

All other shooting to be banned due to risk of displayed accuracy causing other shooters to lose interest in their sports and due to risk of other shooters crying like little girls.

riflehunter77

Ahern will open a shooting range and issue every member of the public with the Evil Glock 9mm or a spud gun

Half-cocked

€1 levy on every cartridga/bullet sold so that we can shoot our way out of the recession.

Jacobo

Lead in ammunition to be replaced with marshmallows.

More seriously, I fear they'll delay this fine piece of legislation until renewal time has come and gone and everyone's handguns are safely in Garda custody...

dave999

chem wrote: »

Right all, lets have some fun. Seen as the bill will be out soon, lets try guess what will be in the bill.

Closest to the actual bill wins.

Rules:

4. Have fun

The bill will provision for ALL of the Republics shooting community to adopt the anthem as described in:
http://gizmodo.com/5231112/

Well you said have fun! I dont think I have a chance of winning though!
David

G17

Suzuki Swifts to be banned.

jwshooter

mary harney and brian cowan are to take part in the next world cup biathlon in norway.

thats of course if the swine flu dont get em first

meathshooter

general election to get rid of them god knows what else theyll come up with

mcguiver

E-Voting machines are to be modified to take money and issue new licences.
Licence fee will be increased accordingly !!!!

BOBTHESHOOTER

Opps.................. All this new legislation needed, jasus we forgot to implement all the legisaltion we already have in the CJA 2006, hold on a second, minute, hour, month, year...........ah well maybe we can forget about it, lets concentrate on making libel laws to protect GOD............after all it will be as effective as a handgun ban in preventing crimnals using handguns!

thedragon

New rifle applications will be sanctioned after a reality show type audition.
Contestants will have to sing no less than one verse of Waltsing Matilda backwards in Irish>This of course will only come after they get by the crime and security psychological evalluation,at which stage the applicant will probably have developed so many psychotic behaviour patterns,he will probably fail in his application anyway and just turn to crime.After all if he does turn into a criminal,he wont have anything to worry about as these are the least affected in the shooting fraternity.

BornToKill

thedragon wrote: »

After all if he does turn into a criminal,he wont have anything to worry about as these are the least affected in the shooting fraternity.

... criminals are part of the shooting fraternity??? What you sayin' about your brothers, Dragon?

Sparks

Oh no, you misunderstood him BTK, it's part of the new Act - all shooters will be defined to be low-level criminals in section one of the act. We expect riotous protests from Mountjoy and Portlaois as criminals who've gone to the trouble of committing real crimes find themselves lumped in with us namby-pambys who couldn't even pull off a basic robbery but who're now getting all the advantages real criminals get - free room and board, copious free time, any kind of firearms they want without any pesky oversight, and so on...

ditpaintball

Hopefully issues regarding paintball marker licensing / authorisations will be relaxed..... Meaning we can take a step further away from real shooters ( not that I don't love you guys really though )



Heres hoping

Sparks

More likely that the minister will revoke all marker licences on the grounds that 'shure what more than a can of dulux and a long-handled brush would you need?'...

2011

Politicians thought process:
I know we could simply ban criminals from using firearms....oh, er that didnt work....I forgot, criminals dont obey the law........ Who does?..... let me see....people that have a FAC obey the law....Thats it!!! I know find out who is suitable to use a firearm (we have a list of people that hold a FAC somewhere), then treat them like criminals and ban them from going anywhere near a firearm! If they kick up a fuss we can say they are clearly unstable and should not be near a gun! Then we can say we have been "tough on gun crime".

If that will not get us votes what will??

Perfect:D

daveob007

ok lads here it is from clr willie power of kilnascully minister of justice???????

all nike products to be banned also as most hoodie criminals use them.
ban all golf equipment incase they are stolen by criminals and used to break car windows.
all cars to have a minitored alarm system and be safely locked up for the same reason as nike gear.
i am sure we can ban many other products and finally end all crime in ireland,,,,is that not the reasons given for banning handguns?????

dresden8

BOBTHESHOOTER wrote: »

ah well maybe we can forget about it, lets concentrate on making libel laws to protect GOD............after all it will be as effective as a handgun ban in preventing crimnals using handguns!

Praise the lord and pass the ammunition?

We could be on a winner.

Breachloader

Firstly, eveybody with a restricted firearm will require a little additional security, ie: Underground Concrete and steel bunker that can withstand a neuclear strike with Heat/Motion/vibration/moisture and sound sensors. And of course a monitored alarm. Aswell as watch dogs (at least 4) and a small army of mercenaries (all to protect a single shot, bolt action 30.06)...

Secondly, the license fee for the tool in question will jump from €38.00 per annum to €3,800.00 making it a tad pricey...

And Finally for those lucky enough to be able to meet the above requirements...
A proficiency test, whereby only those who can can cut a single whole in a target at a thousand yards may keep their precious firearms...

So you see the minister is in no way being unfair to the shooter with this new bill, because all of the above requiements are in no way prohibative to the safe use of firearms and will surely make the procurment of illegal firearms so much the more difficult.

Or will they???

Breachloader

I would imagine that those in possession of Centrefire Pistols/Semiauto centrefire rifles or anything over .308 and High capacity Semi/pump shotguns will be met with new tighter security requirements as well as an annual review of said firearms to ensure the holder can show just cause for having them (ie: proof of competition particapation etc.)

So we hope.. For the alternative is that those of us who compete both nationally and internationally, may soon find ourselves bereft of any way of competing in our chosen and much beloved sports...

Fingers crossed that those in power have seen some sense and written into this new bill some leeway for the irish shooter....

Hoping and wishing..

Breachloader.

IDon'tKnow!

The new act will ban the storage of Firearms and alcohol on the same premises.

Because alcohol and firearms don’t mix.

So only certified pioneers can now apply for FAC.

But both firearms and alcohol are advised to attend an integration program so they can learn to live together.

westwicklow

Penalty points will be introduced for missing targets but nobody EVER misses so this will be made redundant as it won't apply!!

Authorities (we all know who I mean!!) will get cash incentives for processing applications (gun related) quicker than 1 year!!

There will be a bounty introduced on red squirrel, fox, muntjac... (oops, did I say that out loud???????)

Finally, the introduction of free battery packs for lamping!!!!

Hivemind187

MPB Section 3) Hands, feet, knees, elbows, foreheads and teeth will be subject to an 4 week Garda amnesty where upon possession of same will result in prosecution for the possession of a potentially lethal weapon.

Addendum: Tongues and vocal chords will be subject to a similar amnesty to be phased in as soon as the first objections are raised by those criminal elements who have handed (geddit?) in their offensive appendages.

MPB Section 4) Opinions contrary to those issued and duly licensed by the Oreachtas are hereby declared an offesive item and all such opinions and their containers (e.g. printed matter, human brains etc) will be confiscated upon discovery by members of An Garda Siochana.

MPB Section 5) References to Ms. Mary Harneys weight or Mr. Dermot Aherns grasp of logic and basic English are subject to review by a panel consisting of the Irish Censors Board and no less than four members of the Clergy and three close releatives of the aforementioned individuals (to include "that bloke in the hat Demo met in the Pub last Tuesday"). Wherein these references are found to be derrogatory the perpetraitor shall be subject to a prison sentence of no less than 9 years in the stomach of an alligator.

So sayeth the word of Dermo, chief justice by appointment of God.