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Advice: Part II

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  • 03-05-2009 3:57am
    #1
    picklocks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6 ✭


    Part I:
    http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055530740

    So we started chatting regularly again and met up once more.

    Shortly after that, I got him on MSN and finally told him the truth. He said he liked me, but he didn't know what that liking really is. And that he had issues to work out first. I said I could wait, but he said that he didn't want me to think that we could surely have a relationship after that. He really liked me as a friend, but the other feelings are not clear in his head. The answer now is definitely no, but it's not because he doesn't like me. It's some personal issues. I told him to be honest, that I would be OK if he was flat out brutal. He said he was. And he says he thinks it is best for me to try to get over the feelings, because he doesn't know when he will work out his issues and he doesn't want to keep me waiting.

    This is a little harder to take than I expected. Advice, please? :( I'm really lost and want to know what I should do.


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    #2
    Monkey61
    Registered Users Posts: 1,137 ✭✭✭Monkey61


    Okay this may sound harsh but I think the best thing for you would not to be to dwell on the "He does like me, he just has issues to get over" thing. If he liked you enough he would want to be with you. In my experience situations like this never work out and are thoroughly head wrecking for the person on the receiving end of them because it is so easy to hear what you want to hear and keep hoping that since he said he likes you that there must be something that you can do to make him want to be with you.

    There isn't. He just doesn't like you enough and there is no point waiting around when there are loads of guys out there who will like you enough.

    What you should do is get on with your life and make it the best that you possibly can. Be fit and healthy and pursue all your own interests and make an effort to get out there and meet more people. Once you start doing that this guy will be a distant memory.

    I know it's not easy, but good luck!


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    #3
    shay_562
    Registered Users Posts: 1,764 ✭✭✭shay_562


    I'd also add that, whatever issues this guy is going through, they won't be made easier by you standing on the sidelines waiting for him to get over them so he can be ready for you. I don't necessarily agree with Monkey61; I don't think it's necessarily that he "doesn't like you enough", possibly just that he's really not in a mental place right now where he can be in a relationship. These things happen, and there's little you can do about it if he doesn't want to be with you right now. Do what he's asking, give him some space and try to move on as best you can.


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    #4
    dny123456
    Closed Accounts Posts: 431 ✭✭dny123456


    i agree more with monkey. Don't waste anymore time on him OP. fish sea of plenty and so forth.


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