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  • 05-05-2009 12:44am
    #1
    twinkle_toes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭


    i recently moved house to a lovely quiet neighbourhood. i thought it would be the ideal place to raise my 5 year old girl. however when she and her friends are playing out the front there's usually this guy lurking around. my daughter says he lives up the street. one day i did see him giving the kids sweets and called my daughter in. since then ive been a bit wary of his presence even though he doesnt ever express extreme interest in any child.

    not to jump to conclusions, because he could be a perfectly nice man who's lived here all his life etc, i wanted to ask someone about him but my neighbours dont know him and have no kids so dont care. i started wondering "how would i find out if there were any dangerous people living around here?" not pin-pointing him because if i really felt that way id ring the cops. just for peace of mind. there was an attempted abduction of a small child near here not so long ago as well.

    anyways i found out that the public have no access to the sex offenders register. have we not got a right to know these things?

    (ps: sorry if im in the wrong forum or if this has been discussed recently)


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    #2
    axel rose
    Registered Users Posts: 1,050 ✭✭✭axel rose


    Thank God I live in Ireland not the UK! supervise supervise supervise!!!!! And leave the man alone- How can a man be 'lurking' when he is living in the area? FYI its the people who are not strangers that pose the most risk to your child.


    Teach your child that all strangers are not to be trusted and relax the paranoia.


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    #3
    Deliverance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Deliverance


    twinkle_toes wrote: »
    i recently moved house to a lovely quiet neighbourhood. i thought it would be the ideal place to raise my 5 year old girl. however when she and her friends are playing out the front there's usually this guy lurking around. my daughter says he lives up the street. one day i did see him giving the kids sweets and called my daughter in. since then ive been a bit wary of his presence even though he doesnt ever express extreme interest in any child.

    not to jump to conclusions, because he could be a perfectly nice man who's lived here all his life etc, i wanted to ask someone about him but my neighbours dont know him and have no kids so dont care. i started wondering "how would i find out if there were any dangerous people living around here?" not pin-pointing him because if i really felt that way id ring the cops. just for peace of mind. there was an attempted abduction of a small child near here not so long ago as well.

    anyways i found out that the public have no access to the sex offenders register. have we not got a right to know these things?

    (ps: sorry if im in the wrong forum or if this has been discussed recently)
    You have tried to ask for info based on fears i.e. the dangerous lurking man with sweets and attempted abductions in the area to try to get info. Why not just ask a straight question and ask... is the sex register available to the public, which it is probably not.

    The best thing that you can do is to look after your kids and don't let them grow up on the streets. Urban life is scary and not ideal for the kids I'll give you that. But I have to say... feck off with your obviously over manipulative question. Sorry but it had to be said.


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    #4
    IsThatSo?
    Closed Accounts Posts: 988 ✭✭✭IsThatSo?


    Why is it overly manipulative? Argumentative maybe! Could lead to the kind of thread where emotions run high and all that. In the UK people on the register are run out of their homes and they may be on the register for weeing on the street when drunk (indecent exposure). Sometimes the register is not effective, I would not consider a person who urinated in a corner when drunk a danger to my child.

    If my child was in a situation like OPs I might check around with neighbours also, I would for sure watch my son like a hawk. There was an attempted abduction of a child in my sons class and Teacher talked to them about it and we have always spoken to our son about strangers and about nobody touching his privates etc.

    Child abuse/abduction is a worry to parents, its real and it does happen.

    Better for OP to air worries here in order NOT to be paranoid!! The point of this forum is to get advice/opinions from people who might be able to see the situation more clearly than the person involved. Its hard to step back and be objective where you own children are concerned!!

    Give the OP a break, s/he did the right thing by posting here rather than going off half cocked and creating a bad situation.


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    #5
    twinkle_toes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭twinkle_toes


    axel rose wrote: »
    Thank God I live in Ireland not the UK!
    what do u mean by this?
    sounds like your on it

    and i would consider it lurking as he comes down from where ever he lives and sits on the wall until the kids come. then offers them sweets.


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    #6
    twinkle_toes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭twinkle_toes


    Deliverance wrote: »
    You have tried to ask for info based on fears i.e. the dangerous lurking man with sweets and attempted abductions in the area to try to get info. Why not just ask a straight question and ask... is the sex register available to the public, which it is probably not.

    The best thing that you can do is to look after your kids and don't let them grow up on the streets. Urban life is scary and not ideal for the kids I'll give you that. But I have to say... feck off with your obviously over manipulative question. Sorry but it had to be said.

    didnt i say it wasnt available to the public?? i was expressing my worries and wondering if other people thought it should be there if we want to see it.
    and no you didnt have to say anything. if i manipulated you i am sorry but thats probably your problem, isnt it?


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    #7
    axel rose
    Registered Users Posts: 1,050 ✭✭✭axel rose


    I have no idea by what you mean by 'sounds like your on it'

    As for anything else- I am glad I live in a country where every man who looks at a child is not viewed as a paedo. Take it from me- there are no more paedos on the streets than there were 20, 30 or 40 years ago, children are more at risk from people (not just men) that they have a relationship with. (I work with many abused young people)

    To accuse someone of being a paedo is a huge thing and shouldn't be done ad hoc. Fine on a website but to go to the guards to see if anyone in the area has history? :eek: Its a step too far. Just because an area has no known perverts in it makes it no safer than any other.

    The information you are looking for is no substitute for educating your wee girl and good supervision.

    I'm not having a go at you, I just want to point out that you are making a serious accusation on virtually no evidence.


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    #8
    Deliverance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Deliverance


    axel rose wrote: »
    I have no idea by what you mean by 'sounds like your on it'

    As for anything else- I am glad I live in a country where every man who looks at a child is not viewed as a paedo. Take it from me- there are no more paedos on the streets than there were 20, 30 or 40 years ago, children are more at risk from people (not just men) that they have a relationship with. (I work with many abused young people)

    To accuse someone of being a paedo is a huge thing and shouldn't be done ad hoc. Fine on a website but to go to the guards to see if anyone in the area has history? :eek: Its a step too far. Just because an area has no known perverts in it makes it no safer than any other.

    The information you are looking for is no substitute for educating your wee girl and good supervision.

    I'm not having a go at you, I just want to point out that you are making a serious accusation on virtually no evidence.

    Well said.

    PS...
    feck off with your obviously over manipulative question
    Apologies for that part of my post to the OP that was uncalled for on my part. I have a 4yr old myself and as a parent I am v.protective, but I still disagree with the OP's method of asking the question in the way that they asked it.


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    #9
    elli21
    Closed Accounts Posts: 192 ✭✭elli21


    Twinkle Toes say's"Not to jump to conclusions,because he could be a perfectly nice man who's lived here all his life etc"

    "How would I find out if there were any dangerous people living around here ? not pin-pointing him because if I really felt this way id ring the cops"


    Axel Rose say's "I am not having a go at you ,I just want to point out that you are making a serious accusation on virtually no evidence"

    Presumptions maybe by the OP Axel Rose,not serious accusations


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    #10
    axel rose
    Registered Users Posts: 1,050 ✭✭✭axel rose


    Axel Rose say's "I am not having a go at you ,I just want to point out that you are making a serious accusation on virtually no evidence"

    Presumptions maybe by the OP Axel Rose,not serious accusations

    I disagree, this lady is suggesting that she should go into the local station to see if anyone in the area has sex based convictions as there is a man looking at children. I have no idea what this would achieve.

    OK lets say there is another person in the locality convicted of rape and the guards confirm there is a convicted sexual offender in the area.......What next? I dont understand what good the information would be unless she intends to identify the guy. If the guards confirm that there are no convicted persons in the area....does she intend to relax and stop supervising her child as the area is now 'safe'?

    I doubt the OP would feel the same if it was a woman or an older teenager, both are as likely to abuse a child as the 'dirty old man'.


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    #11
    elli21
    Closed Accounts Posts: 192 ✭✭elli21


    I am not disagreeing with you that it would achieve nothing,what I am saying is that OP has not made a serious accusation.

    OP does not suggest she would go to local station to see if anyone in the area has sex based convictions.

    twinkle Toes says "I started wondering " how would I find out if there were any dangerous people living around here?not pin-pointing him because if I felt that way id ring the cops"


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    #12
    axel rose
    Registered Users Posts: 1,050 ✭✭✭axel rose


    Well how else would she find out about peoples convictions other than to go to the cops? It just gets my goat when 'concerned' mothers feel that they can throw accusations about on the basis of protecting their child. To hint or infer that someone is a paedophile is something that can never be taken back and I feel that she needs to realise that.

    Again I fail to see the benefit of the information she is looking for.


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    #13
    elli21
    Closed Accounts Posts: 192 ✭✭elli21


    axel rose wrote: »
    Well how else would she find out about peoples convictions other than to go to the cops? It just gets my goat when 'concerned' mothers feel that they can throw accusations about on the basis of protecting their child. To hint or infer that someone is a paedophile is something that can never be taken back and I feel that she needs to realise that.

    Again I fail to see the benefit of the information she is looking for.

    I understand what you are saying ,people will always think no smoke without fire.
    my point is that she may be wrong or right to presume things but she has not made a serious accusation as you stated in an earlier post


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    #14
    axel rose
    Registered Users Posts: 1,050 ✭✭✭axel rose


    Fair point and I accept that, but I was referring to the insinuations that were made .......
    [HTML]when she and her friends are playing out the front there's usually this guy lurking around[/HTML]


    [HTML]i did see him giving the kids sweets [/HTML]

    [HTML]how would i find out if there were any dangerous people living around here?[/HTML]

    [HTML]there was an attempted abduction [/HTML]

    An accusation can be very subtle but just as destructive


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    #15
    axel rose
    Registered Users Posts: 1,050 ✭✭✭axel rose


    How did I do that? :confused::confused::confused:


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    #16
    Deliverance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Deliverance


    axel rose wrote: »
    Fair point and I accept that, but I was referring to the insinuations that were made .......
    [HTML]when she and her friends are playing out the front there's usually this guy lurking around[/HTML]


    [HTML]i did see him giving the kids sweets [/HTML]

    [HTML]how would i find out if there were any dangerous people living around here?[/HTML]

    [HTML]there was an attempted abduction [/HTML]

    An accusation can be very subtle but just as destructive

    Sigh I resisted the temptation to not do this but I feel I have to provide this link as it is so appropriate to this thread...
    http://fastactionnews.com/governer-arnold-schwarzenegger-cardboard-cut-out-terrorizes-community


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    #17
    axel rose
    Registered Users Posts: 1,050 ✭✭✭axel rose


    :pac:


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    #18
    hallelujajordan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,080 ✭✭✭hallelujajordan


    elli21 wrote: »
    I understand what you are saying ,people will always think no smoke without fire.
    my point is that she may be wrong or right to presume things but she has not made a serious accusation as you stated in an earlier post

    Maybe not in her first post but what about this . . .
    what do u mean by this?
    sounds like your on it

    which sounds very much like she is accusing axel rose of being a sex offender just because he believes the register should not be available to the public . . This is outrageous; I cannot believe that it has gone practically unnoticed and I think Twinkletoes ought to apologise !

    For what its worth, I totally agree with Axel rose . .I do not believe that information about sex offenders should be made available to the public . . I believe that making such information available will protect nobody and will put lots of others at risk . .


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    #19
    luckat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,366 ✭✭✭luckat


    Thread creep. The OP asked a question and got a lot of personal flak.

    I was just thinking about this the other day. Brought my dog for a walk, we went past the local school and the kids were out playing, and they all rushed over wanting to pet her. I waited a moment, then said goodbye and moved on.

    In the old days I would have chatted - what's your name, do you like school, do you have a dog yourself...

    But nowadays I immediately, instinctively moved away. A pity, really.

    However, on the other hand, twinkle_toes sees this man, has a slightly creepy feeling and doesn't know what to do. She's in a new area, where maybe she doesn't know the other parents.

    I think maybe there are two things to do. First, if you see this man, take his photo, and let him see you doing it. Second, talk to him and say you're not comfortable with him talking to young children without having been introduced by their parents.

    You should certainly talk to other parents of the children in question and find out if anyone knows the man.

    There isn't a sex offenders' register in Ireland, according to this citizen information site:

    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/justice/criminal-law/criminal-trial/sex-offenders-register

    Twinkle_toes, you're right to be concerned. Of course, the vast majority of children who are sexually attacked are the victims of people within their family, rather than strangers, but still, you are right to be vigilant about your child's safety and that of its friends.


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    #20
    elli21
    Closed Accounts Posts: 192 ✭✭elli21


    hallelujajordan wrote: »
    Maybe not in her first post but what about this . . .



    which sounds very much like she is accusing axel rose of being a sex offender just because he believes the register should not be available to the public . . This is outrageous; I cannot believe that it has gone practically unnoticed and I think Twinkletoes ought to apologise !

    For what its worth, I totally agree with Axel rose . .I do not believe that information about sex offenders should be made available to the public . . I believe that making such information available will protect nobody and will put lots of others at risk . .

    Axel Rose rightly points out the dangers of making false /serious accusations.It seems strange to me to then go on and accuse OP of making a serious accusations when Op has clearly not done so here or to local Gardai.

    I have no idea what OP meant by that comment ,only Op can clear that up .I note you have made the assumption that Op is accusing Axel Rose of being a sex offender ,.Didn't see that myself as when OP made that comment she quoted Axel Rose as " thank God I live in Ireland not the UK".
    Nothing about a sex offenders register.

    Op started a thread here with concerns she has.Op made implications maybe,presumptions definitely....But the only serious accusations I see have being made against OP


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    #21
    hallelujajordan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,080 ✭✭✭hallelujajordan


    elli21 wrote: »
    Axel Rose rightly points out the dangers of making false /serious accusations.It seems strange to me to then go on and accuse OP of making a serious accusations when Op has clearly not done so here or to local Gardai.

    I have no idea what OP meant by that comment ,only Op can clear that up .I note you have made the assumption that Op is accusing Axel Rose of being a sex offender ,.Didn't see that myself as when OP made that comment she quoted Axel Rose as " thank God I live in Ireland not the UK".
    Nothing about a sex offenders register.

    Op started a thread here with concerns she has.Op made implications maybe,presumptions definitely....But the only serious accusations I see have being made against OP

    What ? ? ?
    Thank God I live in Ireland not the UK!
    what do u mean by this?
    sounds like your on it

    Can OP have meant anything other than to imply that axel rose is happy that he lives in Ireland because it sounds like he is on the sex offenders register . . . If she didn't mean to imply that, what did she mean ? ? ?

    And if that isn't a blatant and serious allegation without merit I don't know what is ..


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    #22
    twinkle_toes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭twinkle_toes


    this got way out of hand. firstly sorry to all that read so deeply into my post that they felt the need to attack. i dont think i accused anyone. i had a bad feeling and maybe i was just venting a bit. thanks to everyone who posted civilised replies. i started this thread in parenting hoping to get advice from people who had a similar experience. i was looking to see the reasons for and against having a public register and wanted to give a reason for starting this thread. it didnt work. all ive learned is that there are people who will nit pick just to raise an argument. again these are not the people i thanked.


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    #23
    hallelujajordan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,080 ✭✭✭hallelujajordan


    twinkle_toes wrote: »
    this got way out of hand. firstly sorry to all that read so deeply into my post that they felt the need to attack. i dont think i accused anyone. i had a bad feeling and maybe i was just venting a bit. thanks to everyone who posted civilised replies. i started this thread in parenting hoping to get advice from people who had a similar experience. i was looking to see the reasons for and against having a public register and wanted to give a reason for starting this thread. it didnt work. all ive learned is that there are people who will nit pick just to raise an argument. again these are not the people i thanked.

    You pretty much accused axel rose of being a sex offender. . . Sorry if you don't like somebody pointing that out to you but you certainly would not say what you said to him on the street and I think it is a poor show to use the anonymity of the internet to do it . . .

    Boards are full of people who say they are looking for opinions when really all they are doing is looking for someone to validate their own opinion. . If you ask for an opinion you should accept it for what it is and not get personal . . particularly around such a sensitive issue. .


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