I learned it all from my mother

xxmarymoxx

1. *_My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE_*. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just
finished
cleaning."

2. *_My mother taught me RELIGION_*.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. *_My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL_*.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle of next week!"

4. *_My mother taught me LOGIC_*.

" Because I said so, that's why."

5. *_My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_*.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're
not
going to the store with me.

6. *_My mother taught me FORESIGHT_*.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an
accident."

7. *_My mother taught me IRONY_*.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. *_My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_*.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. *_My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM_*.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. *_My mother taught me about STAMINA _*.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. *_My mother taught me about WEATHER_*.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through
it."

12. *_My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_*.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

13. *_My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_*.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out."

14. *_My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION_*.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. *_My mother taught me about ENVY_*.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. *_My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_*.

"Just wait until we get home."

17. *_My mother taught me about RECEIVING_*.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. *_My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_*.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to
get stuck that
way."

19. *_My mother taught me ESP_* .

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you
are cold?"

20. *_My mother taught me HUMOR_*.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come
running to me."

21. *_My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT_*.

If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. *_My mother taught me GENETICS_. *
*
"You're just like your father."

23. _My mother taught me about my ROOTS_.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born
in a barn?"

24. _My mother taught me WISDOM_
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:
*

25. *_My mother taught me about JUSTICE_.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just
like you."*
__________________

beertons

Very good!

whitey21

welll good!

445279.ie

I love number 7

dh0661

And I thought that was only my mother.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: My dad said to me the other day "your just like your mother". Up to reading this post, I took it as a compliment. :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

baglady

LIES PARENTS TELL THEIR CHILDREN:

This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

I'm only going to say this once

Just tell me the truth and you won't get in trouble.

If you sit that close to the TV you're going to go blind.

We took Fido to live on a farm in the country.

The stork brought you to us, honey.

When I was your age I walked 10 miles to school, up hill both ways, in the snow.

Remember son, girls like a gentleman.

Podge2k7

Lol Good stuff!:D