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Deal Breakers

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    #62
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,687 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Cheating, lying, physical violence, wanting kids, I don't mind a bloke with kids, but wanting kids is not something I aspire to.

    Sustained lying is the biggest for me, in relation to cheating or otherwise. Also fear, as in being afraid of a relationship and equal partnership, if that fear is enough to cripple or stifle a relationship then goodbye imo.


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    #63
    eimear1
    Registered Users Posts: 196 ✭✭eimear1


    Elle Victorine wrote: »
    A man with kids...a big no. I hate kids.

    Cruelty to animals or a general dislike of dogs. There's something wrong with a man who hates dogs.

    Don't get this, you think there is something wrong with a person who hates dogs yet you don't think there is anything wrong with you for hating members of your own species??


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    #64
    Nervous Wreck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    Cheating and not getting on with my brother are the biggest deal-breakers for me.


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    #65
    battser
    Registered Users Posts: 711 ✭✭✭battser


    Hmmmmm So many tbh

    1 - Disrespect be it in the trust department.
    2- Materialistic girls, Something I think more and more younger girls 20-23 are becoming due to society.
    3 - Girls who just are plane ignorant to people and think they are all that so they shouldn't have to tolerate them.
    4 - if my GF was to try and tell me that I shouldnt see my mates for a night out or poker she would be gone
    5 and even more so if she once asked me to cancel going to play a footy match she would get one warning then dumped if it happend again!


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    #66
    JC 2K3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,794 ✭✭✭JC 2K3


    Pyr0 wrote: »
    Actually, smoking is one for me too. Every time I see an attractive girl lighting up it's an instant "No thanks".
    I think it looks really hot...

    *runs from anti-smoking mob

    Wouldn't like to be with someone who smoked constantly, because the smell off them and the taste when you kiss them isn't nice. Wouldn't be a dealbreaker though, and I'd much prefer a social smoker to a girl who was hardcore anti-smoking.

    (wouldn't be a frequent smoker myself, but I would indulge in certain social situations)

    Dealbreakers for me would be hardcore anti-drugs/drink/smoking, religion, materialism, idiocy and not being able to appreciate a comfortable silence.


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    #67
    fatmammycat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭fatmammycat


    eimear1 wrote: »
    Don't get this, you think there is something wrong with a person who hates dogs yet you don't think there is anything wrong with you for hating members of your own species??

    This, thank you.

    The amount of rudeness on this post about children is horrible. Would you say, 'oh I hate fat people/black people/gay people/ whatever' so freely? Of course not.
    Children are still bloody people at the end of the day and don't deserve this level of open hostility. Great, many of you don't want any, that is your choice, but there's no absolutely no need to be so ignorant about it.


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    #68
    Malari
    Registered Users Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    eimear1 wrote: »
    Don't get this, you think there is something wrong with a person who hates dogs yet you don't think there is anything wrong with you for hating members of your own species??

    Members of my own species? So hating ANYbody is wrong is it?
    fatmammycat wrote: »
    This, thank you.

    The amount of rudeness on this post about children is horrible. Would you say, 'oh I hate fat people/black people/gay people/ whatever' so freely? Of course not.
    Children are still bloody people at the end of the day and don't deserve this level of open hostility. Great, many of you don't want any, that is your choice, but there's no absolutely no need to be so ignorant about it.

    I wouldn't say I hate fat people/black people/gay people because they are individuals with different traits.

    For me, although undoubtedly children are all unique, they ALL require feeding, minding, schooling, cleaning, tending to while whining or crying in the middle of the night, lots of money, and all other stuff which I would hate to do.

    And if my lovah suddenly decided he did want to take on all of the above, THAT for me, would be a deal-breaker.


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    #69
    fatmammycat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭fatmammycat


    Right, they require work and are dependent on adults, but that's hardly their fault and it is unnecessary to be rude about them when a simple, 'I don't want children' is fine. I understand people not wanting children, but do not understand why people feel it perfectly okay to 'bash' them.


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    #70
    Malari
    Registered Users Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    fatmammycat wrote: »
    Right, they require work and are dependent on adults, but that's hardly their fault and it is unnecessary to be rude about them when a simple, 'I don't want children' is fine.

    Unfortunately not true. People won't just accept that you don't want children without an explanation. My explanation is that I hate them.


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    #71
    Khannie
    Registered Users Posts: 37,485 ✭✭✭✭Khannie


    Malari wrote: »
    For me, although undoubtedly children are all unique, they ALL require feeding, minding, schooling, cleaning, tending to while whining or crying in the middle of the night, lots of money, and all other stuff which I would hate to do.

    That is an /incredibly/ narrow minded view of what a parent does and no grounds to say that you hate all children (and implies, for example, that you hate my child, though she has done nothing wrong to you). Hate is a very very strong word.

    edit: took out what probably looked like a smart arsed question.
    Malari wrote: »
    And if my lovah suddenly decided he did want to take on all of the above, THAT for me, would be a deal-breaker.

    What if your partner suddenly got very ill? Ill adults require more effort to look after than healthy children. An ill adult ticks all the boxes you have above (feeding, minding, middle of the night, etc.) except schooling. If you think you're gonna go through life without looking after an ill adult at some point....think again. Life is finite and looking after other humans is a part of it.

    I'm not trying to convince you that you want children. Not in the slightest. Children aren't for everybody. Maybe just ease off on the "I hate them" bit?


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    #72
    allabouteve
    Closed Accounts Posts: 844 ✭✭✭allabouteve


    Malari wrote: »
    Members of my own species? So hating ANYbody is wrong is it?



    I wouldn't say I hate fat people/black people/gay people because they are individuals with different traits.

    For me, although undoubtedly children are all unique, they ALL require feeding, minding, schooling, cleaning, tending to while whining or crying in the middle of the night, lots of money, and all other stuff which I would hate to do.

    And if my lovah suddenly decided he did want to take on all of the above, THAT for me, would be a deal-breaker.

    What you're describing there is a hatred of parenting.

    I would think you're aware that you can't hate all children, since you don't know all children?


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    #73
    Malari
    Registered Users Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    Khannie wrote: »
    That is an /incredibly/ narrow minded view of what a parent does and no grounds to say that you hate all children (and implies, for example, that you hate my child, though she has done nothing wrong to you). Hate is a very very strong word.

    edit: took out what probably looked like a smart arsed question.

    It was certainly not a summary of everything a parent does. It was the negatives, as far as I'm concerned. Which is why I object to being one.
    Khannie wrote: »
    What if your partner suddenly got very ill? Ill adults require more effort to look after than healthy children. An ill adult ticks all the boxes you have above (feeding, minding, middle of the night, etc.) except schooling. If you think you're gonna go through life without looking after an ill adult at some point....think again. Life is finite and looking after other humans is a part of it.

    I'm not trying to convince you that you want children. Not in the slightest. Children aren't for everybody. Maybe just ease off on the "I hate them" bit?

    If a partner got ill, that's a different thing because I already love them and if something happened I would take care of them. It's quite a different thing wanting someone (a kid) that requires all that minding and creating one on purpose.


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    #74
    Malari
    Registered Users Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    allabouteve wrote: »
    What you're describing there is a hatred of parenting.

    I would think you're aware that you can't hate all children, since you don't know all children?

    It's true I can't, but I have yet to meet any children I love.


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    #75
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Personally I don't mind kids in general, there's even a few I like. Kinda like the rest of humanity:). I just don't one of my own basically.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #76
    destroyer
    Registered Users Posts: 723 ✭✭✭destroyer


    I'm a selfish unfaithful chain smoker who can't stand dogs but wants loads of kids.

    Anyone willing to take me on?


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    #77
    PK2008
    Registered Users Posts: 2,219 ✭✭✭PK2008


    If I found out she had a penis

    Definite dealbreaker!!


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