What is it lik to have a child?

P!nk

Having my son was the best thing to ever happen me. But I find sometimes people make it out like its all perfect when they're born. For most it is, but I had a hard time getting to grips with parenthood. I had post natel depression for 4 years! If you are one of them, dont isolate yourself and get help!
But the love you feel for them surpasses everything you ever thought you could feel!!!

stovelid

Julietta wrote: »

This really is a lovely thread....but I am feeling some despair (with myself)while reading it While there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I love my son very, very much, I find motherhood a daily struggle. I sometimes wish for my old life, not so much the lie ins (although it would be nice!), it's the freedom I really miss, I never realised until my first day out of hospital after my son was born how I would never do anything again without thinking of him, I think I only wanted to pop to the shops! I guess my circumstances don't help (single mum working full time living alone with 2 year old) and I often wonder would I feel differently if I had a partner....I guess I'll never know! I get frustrated with myself that I don't enjoy it all more but I find some aspects of being a Mum a little bit boring and very, very repetitive. There are definitely times when I feel like I love him so much that I want to jump into this cot and snuggle into him and I know that I am not one iota of sorry that I had him, I guess I'm just not as maternal as some maybe?

Very best wishes OP,

J

Of course it's natural. I really miss the freedom to just go where I want, which in fairness is easier to get because we're a two parent family. I'm sure most parents do. It doesn't mean I don't want to be a parent, which I love.

Woddle

I'll try sum my feelings up with pictures






Best kind of Love in the world, well that and the Love for my wife

jeni

at first - shock then after a year or so - still shock
its a whole new way of life - but i wouldnt be without her, she really is the best thing to ever happen to me.

but at the moment i have a broken leg - so its very very hard
Tip: Do not break your leg

jeni

amazing pic woddle

Woddle

jeni wrote: »

amazing pic woddle

Thanks, surprisingly my wife took that gem , her soaked nappy is what I find quite funny.

Sleepy

You lose all your dreams for yourself and they become dreams for your child. I'd echo a lot of the comments in this thread - particularly those of nesfs and metrovelvets. Being a parent uterrly changes your life. The smiles and cuddles are incredible, the sense of unconditional love is beyond incredible but have no illusions about it all being perfect, you will have moments when you'll lose it...

viking

Excellent thread, made me do a search back on this forum to when I posted shortly after she was born - "Things I've learnt since becoming a new parent":

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055004453

Made me smile to read it back again now that she's 2.5 yrs and such a little independent person.

biddy21

I fully agree with all that has been said but my eldest one has just turned 20 and the last four to five years have been hell. At the moment I dont even really want to talk to him, but would still do anything for him! He has moved out from home, but doesnt ring or call. Sorry about the rant!!!

the glass woman

It might sound cliche'd but it really is a rollercoaster of emotions. Take this evening for example. My 21month old son screaming blue murder in his cot. Me choking down some food indigestion already setting in, while ranting to my husband in anger and frustration, embarrased to say i refered to my son in non too pleasant terms! So husband goes up and brings my son down who rushes over and puts his head on my knee, I pick him up, cover him in kisses and say 'mammy's angel', while my husband splutters out his tea! I warn him not to say a word, and he knows better than to point out my erratic emotions where my baby is concerned!

To sum it up, you will never feel a love like that you have for the little being you created. I'm with him 24/7, its frustrating and exhausting at the best of times, but so rewarding, and fun and there ain't a job out there that is more satisfying. I miss him when we're apart, and he's my little partner in crime, and as good company as the best of friends.

ebmma

Sleepy wrote: »

You lose all your dreams for yourself and they become dreams for your child.

This is just depressing:(

Woddle

ebmma wrote: »

This is just depressing:(

and completely untrue, as corny as it sounds but life is what you make of it

PinkTulips

Sleepy wrote: »

You lose all your dreams for yourself and they become dreams for your child.

not true at all in our case, quite the opposite in fact. for both my partner and me having our kids actually grounded us enough to follow our dreams. he's just finished training for a complete career change which he's really excited about and i'm about to start studying for a degree

we don't really have dreams for our kids.... i could care less who they are or what they do in life as long as they're happy doing it, i'll live my own life and let them get on with living theirs. my job isn't to dream for them, it's to educate them well enough to be able to follow their own dreams

ebmma

PinkTulips wrote: »

not true at all in our case, quite the opposite in fact. for both my partner and me having our kids actually grounded us enough to follow our dreams. he's just finished training for a complete career change which he's really excited about and i'm about to start studying for a degree

we don't really have dreams for our kids.... i could care less who they are or what they do in life as long as they're happy doing it, i'll live my own life and let them get on with living theirs. my job isn't to dream for them, it's to educate them well enough to be able to follow their own dreams

+100000000000000000

Couldn't agree more

amalfi

I know this may sound like a selfish thought but does not being able to remember what life was like before having kids mean that you've stopped caring about your own personal passions and interests?

Nevyn

I never stopped caring about my personal interests and passions, I think anyone who gives those ups is going to make themselves miserable. Yes the first two years of a child's life is pretty intensive but you can always find some time for yourself, even an hour a week and when the kids get a bit older and you get more time to yourself you do remember what it is like and know that they only stay children for such a sort while and then they will be off living their own lives.

Quackles

I have a 4 year old and an almost 6 month old. They changed everything. I remember when the oldest fellow was born, they put him on my chest, and he just lay there, staring at me, for what seemed like an eternity and an instant at the same time. I sat up most of that night just watching him sleep even after the 36 hour labour and delivery. What really drove him home was when he was readmitted to hospital 2 weeks later. I had never cried so much in all my life, and it was just a sceptic nappy rash :rolleyes: Then along came the little guy, and even though he's not even 6 months old, I can hardly remember life without him. No matter how much they wreck my head (and yes, they do wreck my head!), I can't wait to spend time with them. Also, it changes your relationship with your partner. I love watching him interact with them, it has made me love him all the more. I'm a very lucky girl

</soppy>

lolo26

My daughter is the love of my life. I'm a single mother, a full time student, working part time & not receiving any benefits so it's hard work at times but I wouldn't have it any other way. Someone up there sent her to me

mumto3

Iv got 3 kids,and got pregnant first at 16,my oldest being 9 now.I feel i have done a pretty good job so far,considering for a few yrs i was basicly a child raiseing a child!It really makes you grow up,and fast,which i find was a good thing for me.Nothing else comes before my children,from the moment i found out i was pregnant,until this very day.If i could go back,and change anything,theres no way i would.
you will cry in frustration,scream in anger,smile with pride,laugh with joy and live for bedtime!!!!!enjoy,its amazing how quickly they grow

Alib2009

Hi i have one little boy 18 months. The first six months are a rollercoaster, dont expect too much of yourself. Yes put yourself first as much as you can, they can get a cuddle from someone else so you can have five minutes, read that book, watch the tv, laugh with a friend and amazingly you relaxed makes them relaxed.

I can not describe the emmence joy, love and pure adoration you will experience, nor can i tell you of the pride in yourself (that takes a while to come but it does!).

Good luck, enjoy the rollercoaster.

run_Forrest_run

for me, children have put all my life into perspective and have given me a true and meaningful goal in life, to be a good role model for my children and to be there for them. Everything else is secondary!