Why don't men approach women?

BumbleB

I mean down in slane there was plenty of friendly girls in fact I lost my friends and ended up chatting for ages to these random girls all very nice.

I went out on sun night after slane, ended up in that kip on harcourt street because everywhere else shut. The place was chock a block with lads.


Because I was completely sober I noticed that irish girls don't really send out signals of any description to men. I personally dont see them unless I for instance the other night I was at the bar and the girl beside me was checking me out that was a pretty obvious come on.

komodosp

komodosp wrote: »

Sorry I haven't read through the whole thread but sorry if this has already been said. People are blaming "other" women for this but...

1 - Most guys (including really ignorant / drunk ones) probably approach good looking women.
2 - They get sick of it and no longer like it and start to get bitchy about it..
3 - Since most guys have approached them most guys get the impression that women are bitchy, and so stop bothering.

So you're basically saying that guys should approach women they don't find attractive? You do realise that its not just good looking women that have bitchiness issues...?

OutlawPete

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

...we've had a whole adulthood of this type of approach and it's getting old. Can you imagine having to put up with this again and again and again every bloody weekend ..

Women will just never get it. They live in a different world than men - it's as simple as that.

You say you've had a whole 'adulthood' of this type of 'approach' -- well, at least it's an APPROACH. "Again and Again, every bloody weekend" ..

It just beggers belief how women can take attention (no matter what kind) from men for granted. Can you imagine for one night in Dublin men just acted like women.

Okay, to all the women reading this -- picture this scene:

Gangs of Men start showing in Taxis talking / screaming as loud as possible as they get out.

They are all wearing tight jeans made from really light almost see-through material that's makes it possible to see which men are circumcised.

Tight shirts opened down to their nipples.

Each gang walks past you mere women pretending that you are not even there but you know we are well aware that there is louds of you looking at our bodies.

Then we enter the club no problem without waiting as the bouncers know single men in the club make it much more popular.

Then when you get into the club you see gangs of guys dancing still ignoring all the women and the few girls you see approaching women seemed to be just shrugged of off as if they are sleazy pestering women even though all they seem to be doing is saying hello and smiling while trying to get dancing with the guys.

I can't speak for all men (nor would I try) but I know I would love to live in a world where I could go out with a group of men and have girls chat us up all night. And if I was looking for a relationship and not a one-night stand then I would still enjoy the attention and politely just say 'Sorry, I can't I'm waiting for someone' or even just 'thanks, but no'.

Afterall you are getting a complement. I know women will say 'what kind of a complement is it to want to be treating like a peice of meat for the night'?

Well, again I can't speak for all guys but how could it ever be an insult? I have turned down really drunk girls who were pi**ed out of their minds but I was always respectful.

I think the issue is that women have been spoiled for far too long when it comes to male attention. They have no idea what life would be like without it.

To be honest though - I think women love it that way. They realize that they have massive power over men with their sexuality and boy do they use it.

A girl / women can be dancing in a nightclub and she is aware of every signle guy looking at her and her friends.

Next time your out just step back and watch the single men's eyes. The men are looking at the girls and the single girls are looking at each other and pretending to not be aware of who's watching - but they are.

I don't buy any women / girl who say's guy's don't come onto them. You could get the most shy guy in the world and if a girl give's him glances and a friendly smile he will approach her - no question.

I was out with friends in Club M last week and girls would just insult mates of mine. I have one mate who is really good looking, tall-dark-handsome type and loaded and he said 'Hi' to a women with her friends at the bar and she turned her back to his face and rolled her yes and all her friends starting laughing.

I really don't think women (and I know there are exceptions) in general have any respect for men as a whole. I think society thinks far more of women than it does for men.

The first thing I remember learning growing up was little Boys were made of "snails and puppy dogs tails" and Girls were made of made of "Sugar and spice and all things nice" and I think women believe the sentiment of that poem to a degree.

If you surveyed 1000 women that went out to clubs in Dublin on a last Saturday night about how many guy's approached them the night before you'd get I'd say 80% saying they did possibly at least a dozen times.

Ask 1000 men the same question -- you might get 10% say 'oh yeah, some girl said Hello'.

So 'Why don't men approach women?' ---- they do.

DublinWriter

Perhaps the OP should change the thread title to 'Why don't men approach Irish women?'

NickNolte

Nico22 wrote: »

I really don't think women (and I know there are exceptions) in general have any respect for men as a whole.

Completely agree. In Ireland, certainly, this is true. Although I don't think I entirely agree with all of your post. The fact of the matter is that Irish people (men and women) are socially quite insecure.

Irish men need to drink themselves into a stupor to chat women up because of the fear of being humiliated and treated like a twat.

Women in Ireland are very cliquey and are predisposed to treating men they don't know like crap for fear that he's a 'drunken sleaze'.

It's a lot easier to chat up a girl in Ireland if you know one (or more) of her friends or have some kind of social connection... say through work or whetever. On the other hand, unfamiliar men seem to be treated with suspicion by Irish women. A lot of the time they're made jump through hoops of humility to be given the privilege of chatting to a woman. It's not very often that a guy can chat up a girl he doesn't know in this country and just do so on an equal, genuine level. A lot of (although not all) Irish women seem to go on the defensive when they're chatted up. This seems to me to be massively self-defeating. Decent, genuine guys will be turned off by it. Sleazey blokes who just want a night of sex will persevere.

We live in a pretty f**ked up country.

NickNolte

NickNolte wrote: »

Completely agree. In Ireland, certainly, this is true. Although I don't think I entirely agree with all of your post. The fact of the matter is that Irish people (men and women) are socially quite insecure.

Irish men need to drink themselves into a stupor to chat women up because of the fear of being humiliated and treated like a twat.

Women in Ireland are very cliquey and are predisposed to treating men they don't know like crap for fear that he's a 'drunken sleaze'.

It's a lot easier to chat up a girl in Ireland if you know one (or more) of her friends or have some kind of social connection... say through work or whetever. On the other hand, unfamiliar men seem to be treated with suspicion by Irish women. A lot of the time they're made jump through hoops of humility to be given the privilege of chatting to a woman. It's not very often that a guy can chat up a girl he doesn't know in this country and just do so on an equal, genuine level. A lot of (although not all) Irish women seem to go on the defensive when they're chatted up. This seems to me to be massively self-defeating. Decent, genuine guys will be turned off by it. Sleazey blokes who just want a night of sex will persevere.

We live in a pretty f**ked up country.

+1

BumbleB

NickNolte wrote: »

It's a lot easier to chat up a girl in Ireland if you know one (or more) of her friends or have some kind of social connection... say through work or whetever. On the other hand, unfamiliar men seem to be treated with suspicion by Irish women.

Thats called social proof, Nick. I had a (fine) gf from moscow and the only reason I would have got her in the real world was that I got on fab with her friends.

If you can go into a nightclub and talk to at least one attractive girl for 15 mins thats you set for the night.

Or if you go on the dancefloor shake yer stuff if you have rhythm (I do, I spend my life programming drum machines) get one attactive girl interested in you the other girls will pick up on it.Its a dog eat dog world.It actually boils down to the fact there's a gender imbalance when you go out.Too little girls and too many lads.

NickNolte

BumbleB wrote: »

Its a dog eat dog world.

A world (well, certainly a country) of social paranoia, cliquey'ness and a complete inability to socialise beyond your comfort zone and meet people and be discerning with an open mind. Actually.

scanlas

People should learn to get their self esteem internally and not from external fleeting circumstances such as other people's responses to you. You will be forever walking on egg shells trying to get the responses you want if you don't get your self esteem internally.

You can usually tell someone gets their self esteem externally when they are overly happy about good external feedback such as being told they are hot, on the flipside when the feedback is negative such as a rude response after approaching a woman that person will feel really bad about it and may bitch and moan afterwards. Like I used to do years ago until I learned better. When you get your self esteem internally a rude response doesn't matter, you feel good regardless, when you feel good you find yourself complaining a lot less.

You can't control the response you get, but you can learn to get internal self esteem.

Women will be rude and bitchy to men's approaches all over the world, it's inbuilt into them, they unconscously do it to test men for strenght of character, women will probe men for their insecurities and try to get a reaction out of him, it's the male female attraction dynamic and it won't change no matter how much complaining and moaning you do. There's no point judging it. it is the way it is. Judging it is like judging gravity, there's no point. Imagine how stupid you would find it if someone posted on this forum about how much they can't stand gravity, imagine if they kept complaining and moaning about it. It is the way it is, deal with it, just don't walk off cliffs.

994

scanlas wrote: »

Women will be rude and bitchy to men's approaches all over the world, it's inbuilt into them, they unconscously do it to test men for strenght of character, women will probe men for their insecurities and try to get a reaction out of him, it's the male female attraction dynamic and it won't change no matter how much complaining and moaning you do.

"Men will be violent and controlling to their wives so that they don't cheat, it's inbuilt into them. Men rape women so that they can pass on their DNA. It's not their fault, stop JUDGING and get over it!" :rolleyes:

scanlas

994 wrote: »

"Men will be violent and controlling to their wives so that they don't cheat, it's inbuilt into them. Men rape women so that they can pass on their DNA. It's not their fault, stop JUDGING and get over it!" :rolleyes:

I don't know how much violence and rape is inbuilt in men but you don't need to judge it either. Just put measures in place to minimise it.

Everyone has the right to make whatever sounds and words come out of their mouth. We can't put restrictions on on what peole say. I would prefer a woman to tell me to get lost than for her to pretend to be nice to me anyway. It's more genuine. Being told to get lost can be emotionally painful if your sense of self worth comes from external sources. It's your responsibilty to take care of your mental health. Solution: get your self worth internally. It's a win win. People can say what they want and you still feel good.

No one has the right to be violent or rape, it benefits society as a whole to have laws and punishments agaisnt it.

NickNolte

scanlas wrote: »

I don't know how much violence and rape is inbuilt in men but you don't need to judge it either. Just put measures in place to minimise it.

Everyone has the right to make whatever sounds and words come out of their mouth. We can't put restrictions on on what peole say. I would prefer a woman to tell me to get lost than for her to pretend to be nice to me anyway. It's more genuine. Being told to get lost can be emotionally painful if your sense of self worth comes from external sources. It's your responsibilty to take care of your mental health. Solution: get your self worth internally. It's a win win. People can say what they want and you still feel good.

No one has the right to be violent or rape, it benefits society as a whole to have laws and punishments agaisnt it.

You're pretty much spot on with you assertions about self esteem and not allowing rude people's reactions towards you getting to you. It still doesn't excuse rudeness or bitchy behaviour.

Luckily I've never personally been treated like crap by a women I've tried to chat up. Well once or twice but it's water off a ducks back. I know some of my male friends who have been very personally offended and hurt by it. Most lads I know just shrug it off and are confident in themselves not to think about it afterwards.

The fact of the matter is that in Ireland it seems that the whole 'social courtship' rituals seem to favour women, who reserve and regularly exercise their right to be very bloody nasty. While Irish men are the ones expected to take all the risk. I appreciate that men are the 'pursuers' in most societies but that's the accepted norm... and outside of most places on earth, men are allowed adopt this role without fear of humiliation or abuse. Sadly Ireland isn't one of these places.

There are sadly so many really decent, geuine, eiligible Irish men out there who have simply given up on women due to the crap they've had to endure. It's an awful situation but it's very much a fact of Irish life. Maybe Irish women aren't to blame... maybe it's just the Irish social dynamic (which is cliquey at the best of times) but... it's a sad situation. Social close-mindedness of the Irish people as a whole maybe.

Henry Chinaski

Of course not ALL Irish women are bitchy, arrogant, stuck up and in love with themselves. But there is certainly a high percentage of them that are, probably much higher than most other countries. This is certainly the case with younger girls(18-23) nowadays, who despite being a lot hotter than older girls and girls of that age from times past do not posses the same friendliness or manners.

The irony of this is that when they get older most will be forced to change due to desperation/necessity but will find lads their own age chasing younger girls.

Henry Chinaski

scanlas wrote: »

Women have one personality for attractive men and one personality for unattractive men.

An attractive man is only partially determined by looks, it is mainly determined by behavours.

On a good not out for me every woman in the room is friendly and fun around me, on a bad night most are not friendly to me.

After a good night where you were attractive you go home and think how nice, friendly and interesting those girls were, but on another night where you were displaying unattractive behavours you go home thinking they are such bitches. Wrong Wrong Wrong. Most of the time they are not bitches, you were being unattractive so they showed you the bitchier side of their personality. It is mainly your own fault that a woman is bitchy to you. Of course there are exceptions.

The women you know in your social circle who are so nice around you would be bitchy or mean to you if you cold approached them in a bar in in an unattracive way.

That's just the way it is, don't judge it. We are all attracted to value like a magnet. If you subcommunicate value she will become attracted. If you have no value she won't want anything to do with you.

A man has value to woman when he is decisive, fearless, has good social skills, understands women and their sexuality, has social connections, assertive, emotionally stimulating etc...

People move towards value and rationalize their decisions afterwards.

So for all those people who say women are bitchy in Ireland, what that communicates to women is you are unsuccessful with women and don't have options when it comes to women. Women are always reading the communication beneath the surface. They can tell if you are successful with women from your subcommunications.

You dont half know how to talk a load of ****e...subcommunications??

Henry Chinaski

Henry Chinaski wrote: »

Of course not ALL Irish women are bitchy, arrogant, stuck up and in love with themselves. But there is certainly a high percentage of them that are, probably much higher than most other countries. This is certainly the case with younger girls(18-23) nowadays, who despite being a lot hotter than older girls and girls of that age from times past do not posses the same friendliness or manners.

The irony of this is that when they get older most will be forced to change due to desperation/necessity but will find lads their own age chasing younger girls.

The funny thing I find is that I remember girls at 18-23 when I was of a similar age, to be just as uptight as the above. This was only ten or twelve years ago.. Irish girls haven't particularly changed all that much from when I was that age. A little more worn around the edges from having more money to go out getting drunk, but pretty much the same.

scanlas

I mentioned before on this thread that approaching a woman can be a reward in itself, people seem to be confused by that. Watch the youtube clip below, two guys approach some women and describe how good it felt to do the approach. Enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_du78uQ07c&feature=related

scanlas

scanlas wrote: »

I mentioned before on this thread that approaching a woman can be a reward in itself, people seem to be confused by that. Watch the youtube clip below, two guys approach some women and describe how good it felt to do the approach. Enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_du78uQ07c&feature=related

I can understand and agree with that. There is a rush involved when someone does an approach and they're not too connected to the outcome. Even better when a success is achieved whatever the objective happens to be. There was a confidence lesson myself and a close friend used to boost our own confidence years ago. Just go up to women just to get their phone numbers. There was no intention to actually call them, or to progress any further than getting the numbers, so it was a lot easier to manage the successes & the failures.

However, this is not to say that doing approaches is not tiring and can be quite stressful over time. Anything fun can turn into annoyance or pain/anger within a moments notice depending on the people you meet. It comes down to a persons capacity to turn negative reactions into neutral emotions. Without that skill, approaches will become like work, and will drain any pleasure away.

I think the main issue that women fail to understand that making approaches is not a short term action. Its something that most men have to do on a regular basis for the rest of their lives, if they wish to connect with the opposite sex (same sex for others).

I know very few men that have met their girlfriends through approaches, but rather have met them through work, friends, family or random occurrences. I myself have only met my Gfs on the street, or at bus stops, and the approaches are just a basic introduction so that further contact could be achieved. The pub & nightclub environments have always been too difficult for me to get decent results, and usually I ended up with a stress filled night. Much better the approaches made during the day, when women were not on their guard and ready to bite my head off.

97i9y3941

"ugly men" dont approach "ugly women" dont approach "ugly men",whats the difference....

Henry Chinaski

A lot of the problem too is the men to women ratio. The next time you are out wether it be this weekend or whenever just take a look around and see how much more men there are than women.

Henry Chinaski

Henry Chinaski wrote: »

A lot of the problem too is the men to women ratio. The next time you are out wether it be this weekend or whenever just take a look around and see how much more men there are than women.

If you're only focusing on clubs and bars, definitely agree. However, there's no real shortage when you become aware that you can meet women anywhere.

Affable

Us men have plenty of enthusiasm for women. But we know should we approach, that most times they don't like anyone keen and aren't out for anything serious.

NickNolte

Affable wrote: »

Us men have plenty of enthusiasm for women. But we know should we approach, that most times they don't like anyone keen and aren't out for anything serious.

Kind of. I think we can agree that in Ireland women (and probably men to a degree) are cliquey. Women that don't know you have a propensity (albeit not exclusively) to be unapproachable and/or bitchy whereas women you meet through friends, work, etc. are more likely to be nice to you.

Obviously another generalisation but definitely a very apt one for this country.

Henry Chinaski

The older you get the less likely it is that you will "pull" also as there are fewer and fewer decent girls of your own age available so it really is a numbers game with the odds stacked against you.

Wibbs

I would say the complete opposite actually. The older you get the choices get wider if you're a man. The women your own age are more clear about what they want and you've got a bigger pool of younger women on top of that. I "pulled" twice as many at 35 than I did at 25.

Affable

Wibbs wrote: »

I would say the complete opposite actually. The older you get the choices get wider if you're a man. The women your own age are more clear about what they want and you've got a bigger pool of younger women on top of that. I "pulled" twice as many at 35 than I did at 25.

There is hope then. Shame it comes when our sex drive has decreased.

Wibbs

Jesus, mine has gotten worse. Then again rotating novelty does more for men I reckon.

Henry Chinaski

Henry Chinaski wrote: »

The older you get the less likely it is that you will "pull" also as there are fewer and fewer decent girls of your own age available so it really is a numbers game with the odds stacked against you.

Well, for myself I would totally disagree with you. When I hit thirty I got locked into a candy-store. It is so easy these days to pull. Better yet, I know which type of girls I want, whereas when i was younger I would pull the wrong types. Now I don't have to waste time as much.

Kidchameleon

Why dident the girls approach the guys?

Kidchameleon

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Why dident the girls approach the guys?

I've seen it happen that a girl did her own approach, but its definitely not common especially in Ireland. Some other countries the women are more forward about their interest. But in all honesty its nearly always going to be the guy doing the approaches.

Riverpineapple

Make a mental note of this- women will lie all day long in order to get free drinks , social value and preferential treatment. Especially when it involves low-value guys, when it comes to low-value guys there is no remorse. There is no morality. There is nothing in the brain thas says "Lying is wrong". It seriously doesn't even count as lying to a woman if she is lying to a low value guy. Why? Because they generally consider these guys to be a lower life form, they are less than human. These girls wouldn't p**s on you if you were on fire. I'm not telling you this to critizise women. I'm not passing judgment on anyone. I'm just giving you the facts so you are well prepared for being out there approaching women.

Húrin

Riverpineapple wrote: »

Make a mental note of this- women will lie all day long in order to get free drinks , social value and preferential treatment. Especially when it involves low-value guys, when it comes to low-value guys there is no remorse. There is no morality. There is nothing in the brain thas says "Lying is wrong". It seriously doesn't even count as lying to a woman if she is lying to a low value guy. Why? Because they generally consider these guys to be a lower life form, they are less than human. These girls wouldn't p**s on you if you were on fire. I'm not telling you this to critizise women. I'm not passing judgment on anyone. I'm just giving you the facts so you are well prepared for being out there approaching women.

harsh much?

Porkpie

Because so many women are unapproachable.

scanlas

Porkpie wrote: »

Because so many women are unapproachable.

If you can walk and talk a woman is not unapproachable.

allabouteve

Riverpineapple wrote: »

Make a mental note of this- women will lie all day long in order to get free drinks , social value and preferential treatment.

'Women' will? All of us?

Especially when it involves low-value guys, when it comes to low-value guys there is no remorse. There is no morality. There is nothing in the brain thas says "Lying is wrong". It seriously doesn't even count as lying to a woman if she is lying to a low value guy.

Thrilled I've you to tell me what I consider lying.

Why? Because they generally consider these guys to be a lower life form, they are less than human. These girls wouldn't p**s on you if you were on fire.

Again, thrilled I've got you to tell me my opinions.

I'm not telling you this to critizise women. I'm not passing judgment on anyone.

Now you're just being funny!:D

I'm just giving you the facts so you are well prepared for being out there approaching women.

If these are the facts as experienced by you, you've got some serious soul-searching to do in terms of how you interact with other humans.

Seriously, you're doing something very, very, wrong.
And I'm not just talking about the huge and offensive generalizations you've polluted my head with.

NickNolte

No point in getting defensive and polluting the thread with the whole "you're making generalisations" argument either. Yes, it is a generalisation that Irish women are stuck-up bitches. Obviously it doesn't apply to every Irish woman but it certainly applies to a vast swathe of little Sex and the City Irish princesses. A minority maybe but a pretty f**king big one!

scanlas

I do think women will walk all over you if you let them. I feel it's in a woman's nature to see where a man's boundaries are by pushing them further and further to see what they can get away with, if you don't have boundaries for how people including women can treat you then I do think women will take advantage of that. I kind of feel the testing of a man's boundaries and the man's resistance is part of the flirting process. Usually the so called low value guy doesn't have boundaries for hot women, he lets her dictate his reality. I also have an intuition that women get secretly turned on when you set down the law as to how they can behave around you, I think they want you to set the boundaries.

NickNolte

scanlas wrote: »

I do think women will walk all over you if you let them. I feel it's in a woman's nature to see where a man's boundaries are by pushing them further and further to see what they can get away with, if you don't have boundaries for how people including women can treat you then I do think women will take advantage of that. I kind of feel the testing of a man's boundaries and the man's resistance is part of the flirting process. Usually the so called low value guy doesn't have boundaries for hot women, he lets her dictate his reality. I also have an intuition that women get secretly turned on when you set down the law as to how they can behave around you, I think they want you to set the boundaries.

Sounds incredibly immature. Or like women want to be trained like pets. :rolleyes: I hope you're wrong for the sake of humanity. Emotionally mature women have their own boundaries and should be more concerned about them rather than someone else's.

Vanbis

Porkpie wrote: »

Because so many women are unapproachable.

I agree also but also its the 21st Century, i do think Women should approach men as well.

The OP i'm not quite sure why but maybe you and your friends where giving off the wrong singals or didn't look interested? I would advise you and your friends to maybe smile and say hello next time, it shows your friendly and approachable which will encourage men to go to Approach you.

Affable

Mainly because women are meaner to guys than vice versa. Feminism has changed the scales these days.

Affable

Affable wrote: »

Mainly because women are meaner to guys than vice versa.

Meaner? some are, although there are quite a number of ignorant guys out there, especially when they're drunk (which accounts for a rather large amount of pickups in Ireland).

I think its because men are expecting a more "honest" or rather straightforward response than they usually receive. Women seem to believe that they need to play hard to get right from the beginning even before they let their own attraction made known first. So many men get turned off their target because the woman doesn't respond to their advance(s). So the girl is labeled as being snotty or rude because she doesn't give the all clear signal.

This is not to say that its the guys fault for giving up too quickly. Women are themselves to blame for this, because they give off mixed signals all the time. Their idea of flirting, when Irish men are looking for something more open.

Feminism has changed the scales these days.

I'm not so sure its about feminism as about changing social values, and experience of sex being more commonplace. I had a chat with my dad a few years ago, about the period when he was single before he met my mum. He pretty much painted a similar experience in women's actions as today. Except that most women did not have much experience (if at all) of sex/flirting prior to marriage. The same with regards to men.

I believe its the impact of the media, the internet, and changing social norms, which has thrust men & women into these kinds of positions. (no puns intended). I can remember my own teen years (15 years ago) as being seriously innocent compared to the stories i hear from friends now in their teens. Sure, sex was fairly commonplace, but the acceptance of open discussion, and acknowledgment of sex/flirting/pickups wasn't quite so... acceptable.

The Shark

Simple because we would rather talk about how hot the woman is and place her on a peadastool and have something to talk about with your mates ha!!

In my part of the country you dont just get shot down you get cruised missiled down theres no hope at least you can dodge a bullet!!

Ah well keep the head up lads....

I look at it this way something will come along eventuly untill then Im going to continue on Socially drinking casuly dressing and having a laugh with my mates.
For the poor girl that does end up with me for eventuly noticing me within the crowd I would make an effort to talk to her,
I belive they go through stages
1st they all want a bad boy.
2nd they get sick of being treated like crap by the bad boy.
3rd They pick a nice but succesful avarage guy.
4th They go back to the bad boy
And on and on it goes..
(Im not a bad boy by the way)

Well its my theory anyway.

Its looking like This post will be picked apart so I spaced it nicely for you all.

The Shark

The Shark wrote: »

I belive they go through stages

i look at it as age categories, and what I've found over the years..

1st they all want a bad boy.

Ages 16 - 23 (unless they're introduced to a good looking "normal" guy through their friends.)

2nd they get sick of being treated like crap by the bad boy.

Ages 24 - till roughly 27 - But they're not sure what they want and experiment. But they'll be focusing on their career, so won't have as much time to spend looking.

3rd They pick a nice but succesful avarage guy.

Ages 28 - 32 - Body clock is ticking and women wanting children (if they haven't any by now) will pick a nice respectable guy..

4th They go back to the bad boy

Only if they've failed to get the nice guy, and then they remember all the fun (forgetting all the pain) they had in their early 20's and figure, why not...

Its looking like This post will be picked apart so I spaced it nicely for you all.

Cheers

97i9y3941

been a bastard and not careing about them seems to work too *how often i seen gorgeous women dateing complete prícks...

Porkpie

Fred83 wrote: »

been a bastard and not careing about them seems to work too *how often i seen gorgeous women dateing complete prícks...

I will never understand why women do this, yeah, I know someone's going to reply with explanations of alpha male/agression, etc. being attractive, but why oh why do women like men that treat them like dirt? I remember I was talking to my cousin before, she was going out with a fella and broke it off with him. The reason? He was 'too nice'.

Anyway, I'm a 'nice guy', maybe too nice. Maybe a more rude, agressive approach would work? Should I carry a gun with me?

Seriously though, I wouldn't even try to be a bad guy. And now that I think of it, I have often been successful with women who are older than me. Maybe I should stick with the 30+ women from now on!

Porkpie

Porkpie wrote: »

I will never understand why women do this, yeah, I know someone's going to reply with explanations of alpha male/agression, etc. being attractive, but why oh why do women like men that treat them like dirt? I remember I was talking to my cousin before, she was going out with a fella and broke it off with him. The reason? He was 'too nice'.

Plenty of guys do it also... They meet girls who treat them like dirt and love every second of it. I have a good friend who until he met his last gf, would always seek to meet princess type girls. I don't understand it cause i wouldn't have patience for the crap she threw out, but he loved it. And I've found that the princess complex is very common in Ireland (i can't see why), and men continually fall for it.

Anyway, I'm a 'nice guy', maybe too nice. Maybe a more rude, agressive approach would work? Should I carry a gun with me?

Seriously though, I wouldn't even try to be a bad guy. And now that I think of it, I have often been successful with women who are older than me. Maybe I should stick with the 30+ women from now on!

I'm a nice guy also. And nowadays I have no problem meeting women of all ages. It comes down to not caring if you're going to be put down. It also comes down to a lack of willingness to put up with their ****. When they're being stupid or rude, I call them on it. Seems there are a lot of women out there that want a guy that will set boundaries and enforce them. They know I'm capable of dumping them if they refuse to behave accordingly.

Go for the women you're attracted to. You won't know what they're like until you actually have a few "dates" with them. The older women thingy has never interested me, and I tend to go for women 5-8 years younger than me. I'm 32 now btw. Works quite well. Just refuse to take any ****, and believe that you will meet someone if you have to drop the current girl. That will carry through to the girl, and she will work to keep you.

scanlas

Porkpie wrote: »

I will never understand why women do this, yeah, I know someone's going to reply with explanations of alpha male/agression, etc. being attractive, but why oh why do women like men that treat them like dirt? I remember I was talking to my cousin before, she was going out with a fella and broke it off with him. The reason? He was 'too nice'.

Anyway, I'm a 'nice guy', maybe too nice. Maybe a more rude, agressive approach would work? Should I carry a gun with me?

Seriously though, I wouldn't even try to be a bad guy. And now that I think of it, I have often been successful with women who are older than me. Maybe I should stick with the 30+ women from now on!

When women say a man is "too nice" what she means is he is not being himself around her, it's as if he wants something from her, and it can be quite annoying and usually he does want something from her, that being her approval, which is really unattractive. Ultimately she thinks the guy is weak because he comes across that he needs her approval. Wanting approval is more feminine than masculine and women are attracted to masculinity.

scanlas

scanlas wrote: »

When women say a man is "too nice" what she means is he is not being himself around her, it's as if he wants something from her, and it can be quite annoying and usually he does want something from her, that being her approval, which is really unattractive. Ultimately she thinks the guy is weak because he comes across that he needs her approval. Wanting approval is more feminine than masculine and women are attracted to masculinity.

I partially disagree... Women say a guy is too nice when they have found he has no backbone. Many guys when they're with a woman lose themselves, and agree with whatever she wants in order to keep her attention. Women don't want a slave for a bf. Sure, they might want a slave for a friend or short-time lover, but not for anything longer than a fortnight. Instead they want a guy that will challenge them, and make them feel rewarded by having the kind of guy other women will want. Women care more about what other women think, than just about anything else. They want to be able to show off their guy, and say "he's mine".

This is why "bad" boys tend to get more women. Because they refuse to bow down to women, and the women can display him as being worth catching.. In fact, its not really to do with bad boy or good boy complexes. Its about women having a "Man" rather than a "Boy". And lets face it, a lot of men give up their balls when they meet a girl, thinking that's what they need to do to attract and keep her.

irish_bob

Porkpie wrote: »

I will never understand why women do this, yeah, I know someone's going to reply with explanations of alpha male/agression, etc. being attractive, but why oh why do women like men that treat them like dirt? I remember I was talking to my cousin before, she was going out with a fella and broke it off with him. The reason? He was 'too nice'.

Anyway, I'm a 'nice guy', maybe too nice. Maybe a more rude, agressive approach would work? Should I carry a gun with me?

Seriously though, I wouldn't even try to be a bad guy. And now that I think of it, I have often been successful with women who are older than me. Maybe I should stick with the 30+ women from now on!

nice is often equal to weak and thier is nothing less atractive than being weak , i think a lot of men in this thread are being quite whiney , if you dont make the grade with women , dont cry about it , im not good looking nor successfull with women for the most part , that isnt womens fault , its mine but i dont go round hating on women because of it , its just the way i am and it is

NickNolte

There are a lot of weak, needy guys out there who don't make particularly good boyfriend material but that's hardly the point of the thread. If women are being bitchy to men who approach them to see if they've got 'backbone' then they're going about it the wrong way. First impressions last and just like no woman wants to be with a wimpy guy, no real man wants to be with a bitchy woman.

If a women tried to test my mettle straight from the off, before I even got to know her, I wouldn't waste my time. Contemporary pop psychology bull**** doesn't work on real, intelligent men. Being a bitch to a guy in a pub states nothing other than... you're a bitch. That is all.

scanlas

NickNolte wrote: »

There are a lot of weak, needy guys out there who don't make particularly good boyfriend material but that's hardly the point of the thread. If women are being bitchy to men who approach them to see if they've got 'backbone' then they're going about it the wrong way. First impressions last and just like no woman wants to be with a wimpy guy, no real man wants to be with a bitchy woman.

If a women tried to test my mettle straight from the off, before I even got to know her, I wouldn't waste my time. Contemporary pop psychology bull**** doesn't work on real, intelligent men. Being a bitch to a guy in a pub states nothing other than... you're a bitch. That is all.

What do you mean by bitchy?

I don't think I'd call it bitchyness more challenging or sassiness with a smile? If you are getting actual bitchyness from women you're probably coming across creepy or weird and it's something the man needs to address in himself.

An example of the challenging responses women say are?

Is that your chat up line?

Are you gay?

You like to take it up the ass.

What's your next bit?

How many girls have you said that to before?

When a woman says stuff like above she's testing you but most the time she doesn't logically think " I'm gonna test this guy", she just feels compelled to do so, the reason she does it is to see how you respond. To judge the behavour is ridiculous. You have behavours you put in action when someone of perceived lower status behaves in a higher status way. You don't logically realise you are doing it though. You might think " that guy is p*ssing me off" like a 16 year old speaking loudly but if a 50 year old doctor did it it wouldn't bother you as much. So if someone of perceived higher status did that behavour you would be fine with it.



NickNolte you should be more appreciative of women testing men for strength, humans wouldn't have evolved to be where they are today otherwise. How can a woman trust a man to take resposibility for taking care of her and her children when a harmless little woman making a teasing comment can shake his reality. There's more important things than everyone being ultra nice to NickNolte and the rest of the male population. How you react to tests says alot about your character and strenght of reality. The guy who isn't phased is more likely not to be afraid to ask his boss for a raise or negotiate better prices for things etc, ie he is likely to be more resourceful.