Shady Pines

Hagar

Two elderly residents, a man and a woman, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening. The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting. For €5 I'll do it with you right over there in that rocking chair."

The old lady looked surprised but didn't say a word.

The old man continued, "For €10 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for €20 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."

The old lady still says nothing but after a couple minutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls out a wrinkled €20 note and holds it up.

"So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," says the old man.

"Get serious," she replies. "Four times in the rocking chair."

Homer

An extract from Hagars memoirs

getz

Homer wrote: »

An extract from Hagars memoirs

a phone call to the hospital--could you please tell me how mrs green is ?she had a heart attack yesterday and i would like to know if she is stabilizing- getting better or worse,,,,,,do you know what ward she is in?;;;;yes she is in ward p 7;;;;just a moment i will put you through to the sister in ward p 7;;;;; hi this is ward 7 what can i do for you ?;;;could you please tell how mrs green is getting on ?she came into hospital yesterday with a heart attack and i would like to know if she is getting better,worse or stabilizing ?;;;you will be happy to know she is now a lot better in fact she will be able to out this afternoon,are you by any chance her sister ?;;;no i am mrs green ,no bastard tells you anything in here.

Podge2k7

Good stuff!