Husband Quotes:

dak

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said,"
Dust!"

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said
"I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said,"God, I
wish I had your will power."

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every
country, son.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done forfree.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.

If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

A little boy asked his father, "Taddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"

hobochris

How adam got eve:

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion
and that it would be a woman.

He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you,

and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you,
and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.

She will praise you!

She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and
passion whenever you need it.'

Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?'

God replied, 'An arm and a leg.'

Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib?'

Podge2k7

Good stuff.