Do you go Dutch on a first date?

Max001

I'm an old fashioned guy and would generally pay for a first date, though these days nearly every date offers to go Dutch for dinner.

Guys, would you expect a woman to split tabs with ya on a first date?

Ladies, when you offer to split the tab, are you for real?

Others, lets have the minority view too

tommmy1979

Max001 wrote: »

Guys, would you expect a woman to split tabs with ya on a first date?

Yes I would expect a woman to split the tab with me, unless i knew she was broke at the time..

CommieBaz

On a first date, yes, I'd pay (unless I was absoluely strapped for cash). When ya start to know them a bit better, then the splitting of tabs can begin!

poisonated

hey
im not trying to backseat mod here but how is going dutch a cork city thing...
Are you all scabby down there?






joking I have family down there and think the majority of you are nice

Vinta81

Every date I go on I never expect him to pay, I always at least make the offer, but if he wants to pay fair enough. With my last boyfriend after awhile we took turns, even then he'd slip in money or if we went to a bar/club after he wouldn't let me near my purse for the night!

Tirabaralla

I am fairly broke, but even if I wasn't...I would like for the guy to pay on the first date and...a bit of chivalry is always nice.
That said, I am old fashioned (but not high maintenance).

mik_da_man

If it was the first date and I asked the girl out I'd pay the full bill.

Just imagine at the end of the meal if she expected you to pay all and you expected her to pay half, it could get quite awkward.

Whe you get to know each other better split the bill.

Bill-e

I agree. The dude should always pay the first couple of times.
It can also be dependant on status. Like if you are in a high paying job and she is a student or on the dole then you pretty much have to pay unless ye go to HillBillys...
And if you don't see it going anywhere then let her pay the full thing(kidding)

deRanged

I've always felt it depends who does the asking.
If I ask someone out, I mean to pay.
as in "I'd like to take you to dinner" rather than "let's have dinner together"

Further along you can start working things out.

kingtut

On a first date I would ALWAYS pay for everything. If I asked the girl out on the date it would be a bit cheeky to expect her to pay half. I would however be put off if she did not at least offer to pay half (to which I would always respond on a first date with "thanks but I would like to pay for it").

I don't know if the role is reversed if a girl asks a guy out...seeing as no girl has ever asked me out I have always had to do the asking. Sucks but oh well.

all_smilz

i have usually been in a position to pay half, but if the guy asked me to dinner then i would expect him to pay.
Having said that I dont often go to dinner with guys for this reason because I HATE the idea that they think i might somehow "owe" them in kind, somehow.
SOME guys DO think that but NOT all.
I do think it is nicer to ask a girl out for dinner than a drink because dinner is more expensive and shows that the guy is more interested.
I dont think its old fashioned or not, simply if You ask them, why should they pay?

kingtut

all_smilz wrote: »

I do think it is nicer to ask a girl out for dinner than a drink because dinner is more expensive and shows that the guy is more interested.

You relate how much interest someone has in you by how much they spend on you? :eek: Sorry if I'm reading that wrong but it seems to me that that is exactly what you are saying.

Seems a little bit odd to me, after all not everyone can afford to go for the more expensive option. What if the guy has no job, a low paid job or just does not have much of a disposable income? If I am dating a girl I would hate her to think that I am not interested in her just because I ask her for a drink instead of a meal. The fact that I am on a date should automatically show that I have interested in her.

Sorry if I'm reading that wrong but it seems that way to me. Even if your comment is only related to a first date I would still make the same comment.

all_smilz

i can understand how you read it wrong.
No, i meant that really in reference to a friend of mine, she was ALWAYS getting asked out for "a drink" and would end up with the -said- most random (and NOT nice/normal/even single) guy back at our place , both polluted. Needless to say she never heard from them after.
I used to wish that when i would see these knobs ask her out that one of them would ask her to dinner instead of lets meet somewhere and get you nice and pissed so i can shag you under the name of "drinks".
So in that way a dinner which is MORE expensive than a drink, says more about wanting to get to know someone.
Does that make sense?
*my current boyfriend has only taken me to dinner twice in the 17months we are dating (AND 4years as friends before that) and his budget is less than mine but they were special occasions and he insisted on paying.
I am not someone who equates sentiment with a hefty price tag.
I have also been out with guys who bought me dinner and we dated for six months. It ended when HE tried to borrow, emmm what was it?
TWELVE THOUSAND EURO, to buy a car off his ex in the uk.... (in fairness the poor girl simply couldnt afford the repayments:rolleyes:)

ok rant over.
sorry

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

kingtut

all_smilz wrote: »

Does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense now thanks for clarifying things and apologies for reading into things before knowing the facts.

I hope your friend finds a decent guy soon.

mik_da_man

Am I the only one who thought "Going Dutch" was something totally different when they read the thread title??.....

Bill-e

all_smilz wrote: »

a friend of mine, she was ALWAYS getting asked out for "a drink" and would end up with the -said- most random (and NOT nice/normal/even single) guy back at our place , both polluted. Needless to say she never heard from them after.

Is this friend of yours still single by any chance?

Tirabaralla

mik_da_man wrote: »

Am I the only one who thought "Going Dutch" was something totally different when they read the thread title??.....

No...
Btw in Italy we call the "half and half" sharing "the Romans way" lol

Max001

mik_da_man wrote: »

Am I the only one who thought "Going Dutch" was something totally different when they read the thread title??.....

Nah Mik_da_man yr not the only one and I was gonna make some reference to the 'Dutch position' but I decided instead that that was a whole other bucket of wierd, I couldn't be bothered getting into, not even for cheap laughs.

Seems to me : chivalry versus equality, its a minefield out there! :rolleyes:

all_smilz

kingtut wrote: »

That makes perfect sense now thanks for clarifying things and apologies for reading into things before knowing the facts.

I hope your friend finds a decent guy soon.

me too tho i am half avoiding her and the drama that follows her everywhere!

all_smilz

Bill-e wrote: »

Is this friend of yours still single by any chance?

haw haw you've probably had her already! *tut tut tut*:D

all_smilz

mik_da_man wrote: »

Am I the only one who thought "Going Dutch" was something totally different when they read the thread title??.....

what IS going dutch?

deRanged

all_smilz wrote: »

what IS going dutch?

splitting the bill.
or technically, each person paying for themselves if there's more than two.

mik_da_man

all_smilz wrote: »

what IS going dutch?

See below:

wikipedia wrote: »

Going Dutch is a slang term indicating that each person participating in a shared activity pays for himself or herself, rather than any one person paying for anyone else. It is also called Dutch date and Dutch Treat.
There is a delicate etiquette surrounding going Dutch. It is accepted in some situations, such as between non-intimate friends or less affluent people, but can be considered stingy in other circumstances, such as on a romantic date or at a business lunch.

all_smilz

i KNEW that
i thought there was a double entendre there, some slang i didnt understand....
thanks anyway.

Dankoozy

I don't go Dutch. I am Dutch

overmantle

I'm afraid I'm old-fashioned too.

Bill-e

Originally I thought is was some sort of reference to a Dutch Oven. Now that would be a weird one on a first date... PARP!

FYI Definition of Dutch Oven:
Blowing hard ass wind under the covers several times and building up stench while your old lady is brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, then when she gets into bed, pull the covers over her head and yell "Dutch Oven" and let her enjoy the stench of your ass gas for at least 30 seconds.
Jonas nearly crapped his Underoos preparing a Dutch Oven for his special lady!
-http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dutch oven

miss_shadow

Bill-e wrote: »

Originally I thought is was some sort of reference to a Dutch Oven. Now that would be a weird one on a first date... PARP!

FYI Definition of Dutch Oven:
Blowing hard ass wind under the covers several times and building up stench while your old lady is brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, then when she gets into bed, pull the covers over her head and yell "Dutch Oven" and let her enjoy the stench of your ass gas for at least 30 seconds.
Jonas nearly crapped his Underoos preparing a Dutch Oven for his special lady!
-http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dutch oven

my....god....

diego ribas

I make sure the girlfriend pays for everything on a first date.

The dinner, the drinks, the cab, the morning after pill...:rolleyes:

towel401

diego ribas wrote: »

I make sure the girlfriend pays for everything on a first date.

The dinner, the drinks, the cab, the morning after pill...:rolleyes:

its a way to gain her respect. weed out the whores who don't want to admit to being whores