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Would-be gangster shoots off own manhood

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  • 23-05-2009 5:11pm
    #1
    Tabnabs
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 15,716 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Lukas Neuhardt, 27, had forgotten to put the safety catch on when he stuffed the gun into his trouser pocket to impress pals in Saarbruecken, Germany.

    He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crutch in a bungled robbery.

    But police found a hole in his statement when they saw that the gunshot had miraculously left his trousers intact.

    "Instead there was a charred hole in his pocket so either it was the shot of the century or he did it himself," said a police source.

    Now - after surgeons stitched his manhood back together - he's facing up to three years in jail for breaching Germany's tough new anti gun laws.

    source
    Tagged:


«1

Comments

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    #2
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    He shot off his shooter.:D


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    #3
    My name is URL
    Registered Users Posts: 25,069 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    Is he eligible for a Darwin Award?


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    #4
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    So he reversed Cock the Gun.


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    #5
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    There probably wasn't much to shoot off tbh.
    My name is URL wrote: »
    Is he eligible for a Darwin Award?

    Only if he died.


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    #6
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Braylen Pitiful Rubbish wrote: »
    There probably wasn't much to shoot off tbh.



    Only if he died.

    Or he lost the ability to procreate.;)


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    #7
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    galwayrush wrote: »
    Or he lost the ability to procreate.;)

    Oh yeah. Maybe he is then.


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    #8
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Dyflin wrote: »
    source

    He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crutch in a bungled robbery.

    That was a lame thing to do all the same.


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    #9
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crutch in a bungled robbery.

    That was a lame thing to do all the same.

    Guess he was no Sharpshooter.:D


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    #10
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crutch in a bungled robbery.

    That was a lame thing to do all the same.

    He shouldn't have tried to lean on such an implausible story.


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    #11
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    True, it's never going to stand up in court.


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    #12
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Shooting himself is one thing, but I didn't think he'd have the balls to lie to the police like that.


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    #13
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    True, it's never going to stand up in court.

    Doubt if it'll ever stand to attention for anything again.:D


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    #14
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Dyflin wrote: »
    source

    But police found a hole in his statement when they saw that the gunshot had miraculously left his trousers intact.

    Ffs did he shoot that too?


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    #15
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    LOL at his name, Neuhardt!


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    #16
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Some guys have all the fun .

    All I manage to do now and again is catch it in my zipper :(

    Ooch


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    #17
    Borneo Fnctn
    Registered Users Posts: 1,378 ✭✭✭Borneo Fnctn


    I've dealt with firearms on many occasions and anybody who handles one like this guy is a dangerous moron. Just because you're a gangster doesn't mean you can be complacent with safety measures. It was himself he mutilated so this put a smile on my face. Big time


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    #18
    Banter Joe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 384 ✭✭Banter Joe


    [quote=Dyflin;60372978]Lukas Neuhardt, 27, had forgotten to put the safety catch on when he stuffed the gun into his trouser pocket to impress pals in Saarbruecken, Germany.[/quote]

    Neuhardt is german for new heart.

    As he shot himself in the balls, this is of no use to me in coming up with a witty reply.

    If his name was Lukas Neuhosenschlange, then we'd be in business.


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    #19
    tech77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,736 ✭✭✭tech77


    My name is URL wrote: »
    Is he eligible for a Darwin Award?

    I would think so.
    Don't think it HAS to be posthumous.
    A living recipient of a Darwin award LOL


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    #20
    Thephantomsmask
    Registered Users Posts: 1,359 ✭✭✭Thephantomsmask


    Just shows you should never shoot from the hip. He's definitely a .22 calibre Colt intelligence in a .357 Magnum world


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    #21
    Podge2k7
    Registered Users Posts: 3,963 ✭✭✭Podge2k7


    Dopey bastard!He was nuts to put a loaded gun down his pants.


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    #22
    easyeason3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,104 ✭✭✭easyeason3


    This is nearly as good as that Callopy fool in Limerick shooting himself.

    'Zeh next lesson meine hoodiez iz how to shoot zeh enemy in zeh head'


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    #23
    Soulja boy
    Registered Users Posts: 328 ✭✭Soulja boy


    He'll be firing blanks from now on.


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    #24
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,636 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Braylen Pitiful Rubbish wrote: »
    There probably wasn't much to shoot off tbh.



    Only if he died.
    no he'd be eligable for an award if he can't procreate naturally


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    #25
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users Posts: 24,072 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    This thread is redickless.:P


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    #26
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Sperm me the obvious.


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    #27
    Captain-America
    Registered Users Posts: 1,391 ✭✭✭Captain-America


    Dopey ballbag.


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    #28
    Saibh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,431 ✭✭✭✭Saibh


    Captain-America wrote: »
    Dopey ballbag.


    Good name for him if he goes to prison

    or maybe jailbird?


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    #29
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    My name is URL wrote: »
    Is he eligible for a Darwin Award?
    Bobbit Award, tbh!
    Podge2k7 wrote: »
    Dopey bastard!He was nuts to put a loaded gun down his pants.
    Meh, I keep a loaded gun in my pants all the time.

    I've even been known to trigger it through my pockets on occasion when I was younger.

    I'm still alive and in perfect working order! :pac:


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    #30
    Pete P Peterson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 85 ✭✭Pete P Peterson


    A better headline might have been: "German Man Blows His Own Cock"


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    #31
    Saibh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,431 ✭✭✭✭Saibh


    Pete P Peterson wrote: »
    A better headline might have been: "German Man Blows His Own Cock"


    A cock and bull story :pac:


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