Meh!-Few Quickies

Podge2k7

Two nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet.
The nun who is driving says to the other, "Quick! Show him your cross."
So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Get off our f*cking car."
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Dad: Son, if you don't stop masturbating you will go blind.
Son: Dad, I'm over here.
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Little boy asks dad where poo comes from? Dad explains food passes down esophagus to stomach where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal to extract protein before waste products descend via the colon & rectum to emerge as "poo". Blimey says little boy, & what about Tigger?
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The teacher asked her students to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted the word 'fascinate'."

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Good, but I wanted the word 'fascinate'."

Little Johnny Siebert raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate' so she called on him.

Johnny Seibert said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight."
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A woman goes to church with her husband every week, but she is always humiliated by her husband falling asleep. So after one service she approached the vicar and asked him what she should do to stop him.
The vicar gave her a sewing needle and said, "just stab him with this when he falls asleep"

So the next week they go to church and sure enough the husband falls asleep. As the vicar gave a sermon he asked "Who is the creator of all?" the woman poked her sleeping husband to wake him up and he shouted in pain "GOD!!!!", "Yes" said the vicar.

10 minutes later, he fell asleep again, as the vicar asked the audience "who is the son of god?" she poked him with the needle and he jolted awake shouting "JESUS!!" "yes" replied the vicar

Near the end of the sermon he fell asleep again, and the vicar asked the audience "And what did Eve say to Adam after she gave birth to his 99th child?" and the woman poked her husband awake again, and he screamed at her "IF YOU STICK THAT F*CKING THING INSIDE ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!!"
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A man calls the sheriff's dept telling them that he thinks that his neighbor is hiding marijuana in his firewood. After about 30 minutes, the police show up & start chopping away. Of course, they find nothing. His wife calls shortly after they leave & asked them if he got the firewood chopped yet. "I sure did."

dh0661

Podge2k7 wrote: »

Johnny Seibert said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasteneight."

I don't have a brother :rolleyes: