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Bulmers pear (best laxative known to man?)

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    #302
    Clemon
    Registered Users Posts: 564 ✭✭✭Clemon


    18th Birthday last night.. Everything was geared up to be a great night had my friends out with me and everything was going well. Had 2 cans of bulmers pear and 2 cans of normal bulmers as i felt the sunny weather warranted a few cans of cider. We then went to the pub before clubing . It was in the pub that my friend commented on the downright disgusting smell of my farts which were comming out of me non stop. I felt an uncontrolable urge to go to the toilet and take an allmighty ****. Sat on the bowl and had to endure steamy, Stingy,liquidy ****e flush out my hole. When i looked in the toilet bowl to see what i had just doen i nearly passed out with the sight and smell that met me. Thankfully the night passed off without any other ****ting incident but this morning and all today i was as sick as a plane to lourdes. Vomitin and ****ein all day, Moral of the story NEVER EVER drink bulmers pear again.


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    #303
    thegen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,081 ✭✭✭thegen


    Clemon wrote: »
    18th Birthday last night.. Everything was geared up to be a great night had my friends out with me and everything was going well. Had 2 cans of bulmers pear and 2 cans of normal bulmers as i felt the sunny weather warranted a few cans of cider. We then went to the pub before clubing . It was in the pub that my friend commented on the downright disgusting smell of my farts which were comming out of me non stop. I felt an uncontrolable urge to go to the toilet and take an allmighty ****. Sat on the bowl and had to endure steamy, Stingy,liquidy ****e flush out my hole. When i looked in the toilet bowl to see what i had just doen i nearly passed out with the sight and smell that met me. Thankfully the night passed off without any other ****ting incident but this morning and all today i was as sick as a plane to lourdes. Vomitin and ****ein all day, Moral of the story NEVER EVER drink bulmers pear again.

    Might have been the fact you are 18 bless you and to much drink that induced all that ****ting and vomiting. As it says its a laxative not a vomit inducing drug:rolleyes:


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    #304
    Clemon
    Registered Users Posts: 564 ✭✭✭Clemon


    thegen wrote: »
    Might have been the fact you are 18 bless you and to much drink that induced all that ****ting and vomiting. As it says its a laxative not a vomit inducing drug:rolleyes:
    Might be the fact that i only had 4 cans before ****ting my bowls down the toilet. You can shove them rolleyes up your rectum too ya cynical muppet.


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    #305
    ridges
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭ridges


    The last FAQ on the bulmers website....

    http://www.bulmers.ie/about-us/faqs.asp


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    #306
    thetonynator
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,234 ✭✭✭thetonynator


    ridges wrote: »
    The last FAQ on the bulmers website....

    http://www.bulmers.ie/about-us/faqs.asp


    One of the best first posts ever . . .!!!:pac:


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    #307
    yuloni
    Registered Users Posts: 2,040 ✭✭✭yuloni


    This post has been deleted.


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    #308
    ooPabsoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 542 ✭✭✭ooPabsoo


    bulmers pear and chinese is a very bad mix


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    #309
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    Bulmers Prune no doubt the next one to make it's debut...


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    #310
    mysons
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭mysons


    phasers wrote: »
    Cider is for working class people[/QUOT/


    And your meaning is ?


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    #311
    Stercus Accidit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,758 ✭✭✭Stercus Accidit


    Condi wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Yeah I noticed that.


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    #312
    Garthy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭Garthy


    Only just starting drinking Bulmer's Pear in the last month and on the 2 or 3 occasions where I've tried it before it was always just 1 bottle as I've been driving.

    Decided last night as I saw an offer in Tesco of 4 for £5 I'd give it a go at home with a film and like so many have said on here after the 3rd without any warning I was in the loo 4 times in 15 minutes! It was only then because I didn't know what was happening to me and never had the trots come on so quickly before I Googled "Pear Cider diarrhoea," and ended up here on this forum.

    In a way I'm glad I have discovered the effects now as am due to go to a festival in a month and was going to get a case of this to take. NO WAY NOW. Do not want to be spending any longer in festival portaloos than I have to!!

    And as for the "New Recipe" some of you mention - well perhaps that one hasn't been released in the UK yet?!

    I have sent an email to consumercare@bulmers.com which is the email on the back on the bottle and look forward to seeing what they say!:)


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    #313
    s14driftking
    Registered Users Posts: 645 ✭✭✭s14driftking


    wats the new cider berry like anybody dare taste or try it yet or am i best sticking to the tried and tested original bulmers


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    #314
    yuloni
    Registered Users Posts: 2,040 ✭✭✭yuloni


    This post has been deleted.


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    #315
    Kool&TheGang
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17 ✭Kool&TheGang


    Bulmers Berry - it's Ribena for adults...wouldn't be a big fan of it

    The original of the species seems to be the only man


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    #316
    Hannibal Smith
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    Captain Chaos wrote: »
    Jesus, I thought it was just me. I was out last night, had five bottles of the stuff, about 20yards from my door and well...... lets just say I didn't make it to the jacks in time but I was still going when I got there and destroyed myself and the bathroom, it went everywhere, pure liquid:o. Took me nearly 2hrs to clean up. It was 4 o' clock and I was sober again I got to bed.

    Thank god I didn't meet an nice girl and bring her home with me last night is all I can say.

    hahaha I just burst out laughing in the middle of the office reading that :D:D hahaha oh no I've a fit of the giggles now :D:D


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    #317
    Hannibal Smith
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    OSI wrote: »
    The only man? It's drunk by 16 year old culchies, women that can't take anything stronger, and the constipated. Hardly the man of any kind.

    I love Bulmers! I love the fizzy taste of it. I don't like lager, spirits are too strong and at this stage it's the only thing that I know I can handle. I'm so delighted I didn't try the bulmers pear though, and after reading this thread I'm a bit nervous about trying the Berry :D:D:D


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    #318
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Bulmers Berry will lead to an increase in Dangleberries :eek:


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    #319
    Minstrel27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,818 ✭✭✭Minstrel27


    OSI wrote: »
    The only man? It's drunk by 16 year old culchies, women that can't take anything stronger, and the constipated. Hardly the man of any kind.

    Yeah, you tell the truth.

    Meanwhile in the real world, the berry flavoured Bulmers isn't too bad. Bought a few cans last week and had no issues that required a toilet afterwards.


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    #320
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    The original Bulmers used to give me this 'phenomenon'!!!

    No word of a lie!


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    #321
    TheTosh
    Registered Users Posts: 919 ✭✭✭TheTosh


    Never touching the stuff again, had like 6 bottles and woke up in the middle of the night with cramps, the poor jax didn't know what hit it totally annihilated. Me ring was red raw after, luckily there was plenty of tissue but in the the jax fought back and refuse to accept what happened by blocking itself. Very messy busy this pear stuff is all together and its no wonder the bulmers staff were so reluctant to embrace the pear


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    #322
    Teutorix
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Teutorix


    OSI wrote: »
    The only man? It's drunk by 16 year old culchies, women that can't take anything stronger, and the constipated. Hardly the man of any kind.
    Oh so bulmers is for wimps and culchies? And what do you drink sir? bacardi breezers? they are for queers or hadnt you been told :rolleyes:


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    #323
    opinion guy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,001 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    Teutorix wrote: »
    Oh so bulmers is for wimps and culchies? And what do you drink sir? bacardi breezers? they are for queers or hadnt you been told :rolleyes:

    Lit petrol. And castrol gtx for chaser


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    #324
    PaulyK
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭PaulyK


    Thanks for that! I thought I was the only one! Don't care though it's like free calories as I have a lax addiction anyway! BTW it's all pear cider not just Bulmers!:(


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    #325
    super_furry
    Registered Users Posts: 27,322 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    s14driftking wrote: »
    wats the new cider berry like anybody dare taste or try it yet or am i best sticking to the tried and tested original bulmers

    Tastes like someone dropped a packet of strawberry Hubba-Bubba into a bottle of Domestos and decided to run it through a Soda-Stream.


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    #326
    Magaa
    Registered Users Posts: 263 ✭✭Magaa


    i look up price of 6 cans of bulmers and this is the first thing that comes up.. great!


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    #327
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Hosed out a sheet of ripe scutther, which left the pot like a plasterers radio, after a feed of Bulmer's Pear.

    Soon as I bent down, she fizzed out like fcuking Bottled Bass.


    All over the kip.:mad:


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    #328
    The Express
    Closed Accounts Posts: 373 ✭✭The Express


    Martell brandy does the trick for me.

    Brief bit of 'sea spray' type of stuff at the start, followed by a rapid fire round of of sh1t missiles being hammered into the pan.


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    #329
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    The Express wrote: »
    Martell brandy does the trick for me.

    Brief bit of 'sea spray' type of stuff at the start, followed by a rapid fire round of of sh1t missiles being hammered into the pan.

    Beware the poetically described 'sea spray 'effect.

    Reminds me sometimes of those Katherine wheel fireworks that blast off on all directions.

    Always check the trews for collateral and such an event.

    Usually a sea spray 'ignition' is followed by a blow of sludge, but the Express obviously had some 'chain fire' experience.


    Hmmmmm


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    #330
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    kotenburg cider is worse!


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    #331
    Noffles
    Registered Users Posts: 1,549 ✭✭✭Noffles


    Had a nightmare weekend after a night on this ****e, haven't touched it since and that was 12 months ago.... sitting in the bogs in busy pubs is a ****ing disaster.... piss and ****e everywhere and all you can so is sprint in and sit down as fast as you can... then after Montezuma's Revenge has passed you then realise you sitting in "horribleness" NEVER again will I touch it and hope it goes out of production quick.


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