Bulmers pear (best laxative known to man?)

Borneo Fnctn · 05-06-2009 3:16pm

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

What's your idea of a good night out, game of scrabble with your maiden Aunt;)

I'm all for getting blotto but I think it's a bit rich blaming Bulmers for the side effects.

FlutterinBantam · 05-06-2009 3:22pm

Aah no problem there Jack, personally it runs through me like grass through a goose.

Just because I'm shíttin rusty water the night after a feed of "Pear" doesn't mean it was that, could have been the blue fillet or the onions.

Every time if drink that stuff it's the same, but of course it's not the drink,perhaps it's the shape of the glass or the colour of the bottle:cool:

Teutorix · 05-06-2009 4:41pm

Bullmers Pear = Bowel Grease

Kool&TheGang · 05-06-2009 4:50pm

Tried a bottle last week - it's like drinking Ritz, flashback to the 80's...
It's a drink for the ladies....

I'm sticking to the Guinness - but it's a no win situation, both leave you in a compromising position - squatting

vibe666 · 05-06-2009 5:31pm

bunch of big girls blouses the lot of ye! :P

when i were a lad if that happened we'd just eat the empty glass for some roughage!

La La · 05-06-2009 10:34pm

first came Bulmers Original.
Then Bulmers Light.
Now Bulmers S hite.

sad but true.
shame, cos it tastes lovely.

CianRyan · 05-06-2009 10:36pm

I still have to try this stuff. I haven't been in a pub in a fair while now though.
I have to get out soon... Feckin' leaving.:mad:

arybvtcw0eolkf · 08-06-2009 12:04pm

CianRyan wrote: »

I still have to try this stuff.

DON'T, sweet jesus DON'T TRY IT!

I'd a few of these last night and this morning I've a ringer like an Artane boys arse

Never, ever again.

Mr Benevolent · 08-06-2009 12:09pm

Reply from Bulmers:

Dear Confab,

Thank you for your email, which is of great concern to us.

We are currently investigating the matter and will contact you directly
with our findings.

Regards, etc

Translation: We don't give a sh!t, but we enjoy listening to you complaining about yours.

Nick_oliveri · 08-06-2009 7:58pm

Angie Better Public wrote: »

I've a ringer like an Artane boys arse

Oh shi.. :eek:

Parrish_Crooks · 10-06-2009 3:34pm

OUCH! :eek:

I drank a lot of cans of this stuff before heading out in town last Saturday. Suffice to say I spent my whole time in the nightclub in the men's cubicle. I thought to myself; 'Maybe it was that takeaway I had a while ago...'

Roll on last night, where I went to the pub for a few. I had three Pear Bulmers, followed by two lengthy, messy stays in the toilet. After these two messy incidents I went to bed, only to wake up in the middle of the night to have another lengthy piss out of my ass, even the upper part of the bowl was destroyed. I am in work today and every time I hear my stomach rumble I get ready to make a sprint to the toilets. I am also afraid to fart in case I follow through. :eek:

I e-mailed Bulmers but they haven't contacted me back yet. I heard this was on Ray D'arcy's show also last week? Surely they have to do something if it is this widespread!

FlutterinBantam · 10-06-2009 6:28pm

jaysus parrish, sorry to hear about that.:eek:

Now I was interested in the soiling the upper part of the bowl.

Sometimes called the "sidewinder effect" she spurts out at an angle before heading towards the target.

Cheap and cheerful way to combat this.

Go to any hardware store and get cheap plastic bucket

Remove end bit and slot firmly into the pan.

Forms a "sleeve " which protects the upper bowl area from soiling.

Can then be hosed or removed rapidly in case in -laws make unexpected visit:eek::eek:

nlgbbbblth · 10-06-2009 11:06pm

Had one can a couple of weeks ago and my arse exploded in the toilet - and then the Yellow River Of China emerged.

I usually drink large bottles of the regular Bulmers when I'm out and aside from having to p*ss a lot, I don't find it too hard on the bowels.

dylano_k · 10-06-2009 11:41pm

Parrish_Crooks wrote: »

OUCH! :eek:

I drank a lot of cans of this stuff before heading out in town last Saturday. Suffice to say I spent my whole time in the nightclub in the men's cubicle. I thought to myself; 'Maybe it was that takeaway I had a while ago...'

Roll on last night, where I went to the pub for a few. I had three Pear Bulmers, followed by two lengthy, messy stays in the toilet. After these two messy incidents I went to bed, only to wake up in the middle of the night to have another lengthy piss out of my ass, even the upper part of the bowl was destroyed. I am in work today and every time I hear my stomach rumble I get ready to make a sprint to the toilets. I am also afraid to fart in case I follow through. :eek:

I e-mailed Bulmers but they haven't contacted me back yet. I heard this was on Ray D'arcy's show also last week? Surely they have to do something if it is this widespread!

Yeh nothing worse than when ya run all the way to the jacks and its just hot air, but better safe than soiley

Amalgam · 10-06-2009 11:48pm

super_furry wrote: »

Has never happened to me with Koppaberg, Brothers Cider or Rekordig, so I can only assume it's something that's issolated to Bulmers Pear. Either way, I know of three other people that have experienced similar (sloppy) results.

I get 'it' with koppaberg, is it possible sulphates\sulfates (spelling?) are being used to preserve the fruit?

There's a good chance the fruit has been stored out of the growing season and that the result of storing it with various processes will lead to a Homer Simpson style 'spring clean'.

Dumbledore · 11-06-2009 12:19am

This is the funniest thread I have ever read! I too have become a victim, is there a support group? My arse was like the Japanese flag the next morning. It simply reaffirmed that if you ever need to take a Donald trump before midday, no good can come of it.

paddy smith · 13-06-2009 12:33pm

Hydroquinone wrote: »

And keep the bottle for later, if you fancy a challenge.
If people can do it though the eye of a needle, doing it into the neck of a bottle should be a doddle.

and make sure you dont sneeze when your walking

cos it will squirt out of you like a cow

barakus · 13-06-2009 12:52pm

Drank a few bottles of this over at my friend pauls house last night, had to do a poo right away. Luckily he had some air freshner or would have stunk the place out:pac:

Abi · 13-06-2009 1:22pm

Women who drink these ciders and find themselves dashing for the lav should be careful if they are on the jack. There is a warning in the booklets advising if you have been sick / had the squids then your last pill may not have been fully absorbed, which will reduce its effectiveness.

.>.>
<.<.

Thats all I got.