Bulmers pear (best laxative known to man?)

Purple Gorilla

I've decided to ignore this thread and bought loads of this stuff for tonight. I'll report back later with any bowel movements*

*I may be drunk

Purple Gorilla

Edit: OMFG MY ASSHOLE IS BEING RIPPED APART BY THE MUDFLOW. IT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE IS PULLING A ROPE OUT OF MY ASS

javaboy

Purple Gorilla wrote: »

I'll report back later with any bowel movements

Don't forget the meeja are watching this thread.

Captain Chaos

Well thats going to nothing.

5x 560ml bottles, which to me would be an average night out, (not legless and can still remember everything state) will clear your system out good and proper.

It did for me, people say I look like I lost weight since that night.

jimmycrackcorm

Just picked up a box of 8 pint bottles in asda for £5.

Purple Gorilla

javaboy wrote: »

Don't forget the meeja are watching this thread.

Original post edited

pikachucheeks

javaboy wrote: »

Don't forget the meeja are watching this thread.

I think it's hilarious how a few of the tabloids ran stories based on this thread! - Some of the quotes they used were very graphic as well - Feel bad for poor old ladies flicking through the paper with their bowl of Alpen in the morning

I've only had Pear Bulmers once ... had two cans and no complaints!
I'm scared to drink it now though, from everything I've read in here! Seems like drinking it would be just ASKING for trouble.

Out of interest, has anyone had any problems with other brands of pear cider, or are the side-effects subject to Bulmer's only?

Purple Gorilla

I haven't had problems with Bulmers or Kopparberg Although I dont' see Kopparberg having a question about diarrhoea in the FAQs on their site...the same can't be said for Bulmers Pear!

Purple Gorilla

Also, incase the meeja are watching..

LEAVE MJ ALONE!

Purple Gorilla

Ok so spoke too soon obviously....

garbanzo

This thread is also mentioned in today's Sunday Tribune. Hence me coming to have a look. I haven't touched cider in years and by the sounds of it this pear stuff appears to be the work of the devil.

Can someone please think about the children !;)

Andy(mike)Lowry

I think ive figured it out,
You've all seen the ad's for bulmers pear where the lads working in bulmers wont "embrace the pear"? clearly they've put something evil in it to spite anyone who drinks it!
lol

on a serious note me and 3 other lads were on holiday in santa ponsa a few weeks back, one of the days it was 38'c so we stayed in the pub, drank what was a refreshing pear drink, well after 8 bottles each the 4 of us spent the entire eving/night taking turns on the jacks and missed out on a hole night of the holiday!

My sis had sent them an email and the only thing they could reply with was,

"As you may know, Bulmers Pear is made with 100% Pear Juice for a great refreshing taste. Pear, Along with an assortment of fruit are natural laxitives . . ."

thomond2006

Is every thread on After Hours about taking a sh1t?

Sizzler

How long does it take to 'kick in' generally?

Is it as good as this?!

Wretched! lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOyxm5R63RM&feature=PlayList&p=9F5BED06494D407E&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=9

Unkydysfunky

Ended up doing a google search about Bulmers and the squits and I ended up here.

I actually stopped drinking the apple one a while back due to ending up on the bog about 3-4 pints in to a session, proper runny stuff as well it was, and when I needed to go I had to bloody go. So I called it a day with the stuff. Then last week my mate said "they got pear Bulmers for 5 quid a box at Asda, do yer want me to pick yer some up" stupid question and to good to refuse IMO 2 boxes please.

How stupid was I, last night I tucked into a box and after 6 of them that feeling in my stomach turned up again so I went to the bog, I actually thought my insides where gonna fall out, water was gushing out with little lumps in it. 2 hours and 10 trips to the bog later it finally stopped. In over 16 years of drinking ive never known nothing like it.

Funny thing was I told my mate this morning and he said "do yer wanna sell me the other box back" I await the pictures if the 'Bulmers Blitz' round teh bog.

pikachucheeks

Was in Cork at the weekend.

It was everywhere!

I'd say 1 in 5 were drinking it. I kept laughing whenever I saw someone with a bottle, they clearly had no idea why!
Felt like saying "Give it 20 minutes and you'll understand!"

JMcCR

It actually is on the FAQ (well sort of...) :eek::eek::eek::eek:

8. Does Bulmers Pear have any side effects?"
Bulmers Pear contains a significant level of high quality, pear juice. Like prunes, plums and grapes, pears contain naturally occurring substances which, depending on the quantity consumed and the sensitivity of the individual involved, may not agree with every individual.

Bulmers stresses that these ingredients are NATURALLY OCCURING in the Pear Juice and not anything that Bulmers have added to the product.

Like any alcoholic drink, we recommend moderate consumption of Bulmers Pear and every consumer should enjoy it sensibly.

jane says

JMcCR wrote: »

It actually is on the FAQ (well sort of...) :eek::eek::eek::eek:

8. Does Bulmers Pear have any side effects?"
Bulmers Pear contains a significant level of high quality, pear juice. Like prunes, plums and grapes, pears contain naturally occurring substances which, depending on the quantity consumed and the sensitivity of the individual involved, may not agree with every individual.

Bulmers stresses that these ingredients are NATURALLY OCCURING in the Pear Juice and not anything that Bulmers have added to the product.

Like any alcoholic drink, we recommend moderate consumption of Bulmers Pear and every consumer should enjoy it sensibly.

Wonder no one thought to post this before, which makes the whole thing a bit of a non-story.

Comordha

pikachucheeks only a small proportion of drinkers suffer from the side effect. Very little noise from the UK so it could be something in our weak Irish genes.

weemcd

It will be the chosen drink of models everywhere, weightloss++

Eire Go Brach

Had one or to cans of this before last night. Last night I got drunk on it. Had like 8 bottles. I thought this thread was a bit far fetched to be honest. But no way now. I'm a victim of Bulmers pear. Afraid to even fart was an understatement. Ouch awfull stuff. Love the taste but don't think I will drink much of it again.

brendansmith

I swear to god I drank 10 cans of this stuff and filled the bog up to the brim with loose stools!!!!

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Adamcp898

Tried for the first time there two nights ago, bought a litre bottle of it in Asda and only had a half a pint in me when I had to stop, dastardly stuff, at least the apple cider doesn't do the same to me

jayo2004

Cant believe how this devil juice made me feel. The cramps in my stomach after it was unreal as for my Hole its still not right 3 days after. Im glad i found this thread cause i was starting to think there was something up with me . They have to take it off the market...

vibe666

i still can't believe what a bunch of pussies ye all are!

how did ye get to the jax tied to yer mammy's apron strings?

a real man would have drunk all the booze, EATEN the bottles and shat it all out again and gone back for more!

liamygunner29

This is not a joke or placebo or whatever..Im a real victim, its true it ****s you up..I was grand at the time but things took a terrible turn for the worse the day after...Im talking toilet blockage standard here...Its a lovley drink but not worth it...

All I can say is...please don't bring it to festivals......THE PORTOLOOS!!! :eek::eek:

whos who

Ok maybe its just me but I tried this stuff for the first time saturday night, couldn't believe how easy it is to drink. Had about 6-7 bottles of the stuff and no side affects what so ever. Had another couple last night and still everything is good. Slight hangover but thats about it!

Got my mate to try it too last night, he had 2.5 bottles and was in the toilet for 20 mins after it! Poor chap!!:D

bazzle

I had a completely uncontrollable discharge from my rear end last night after a long session of bullmers pear cider (summer int it )

Ended up soiling all my bedsheets, just like that scene from trainspotting. Didn't take them downstairs to be washed like Spud did though - and end up covering my girlfriend and her parents. Bagged them up and chucked them in the bin. No messing.

Seriously though, I'm a healthy chap and tried a lot of stuff and never had such problems. I think Bullmers are sneaking laxative into the mixture and laughing at all of us. People need to know about this!

samhail

bazzle wrote: »

...and end up covering my girlfriend and her parents. Bagged them up and chucked them in the bin. No messing...

you covered your gf and her parents ? we blame alot on bulmers here... but that you cant do !

JupiterKid

Never again will I drink Bulmers Pear.:mad: I was out on Sat night last, had about 5 bottles of the stuff and had the runs for the next two days. I was really bad. I thought it might have been a bug I picked up in the restaurant earlier that evening but now I suspect the real reason.

That stuff is LETHAL!:eek:

My name is URL

It might taste like piss but it least it brings shits and giggles!

AckwelFoley

I was fine after i tried it recently.

It doesnt suprise me though, my stomach has a rather strong constitution from being reared my mothers cooking... dinners the dog would cry looking at.

bazzle

samhail wrote: »

you covered your gf and her parents ? we blame alot on bulmers here... but that you cant do !

No, that's what happened in the film.

I wasn't stupid enough to do anything with the sheets other than bag them up and chuck them out.

bogs

Yea,I drank 8 of the bastards and nearly killed me.I s..t my insides.Never again.Bogs.

JohnCleary

Jaysiz is all I can say :eek:

Had about 8 pints of the stuff last night, all going grand and then all of a sudden :eek: dash for the jacks. Jaysiz I nearly blew the toilet up. Think i'll drink it in moderation from now on (Having a cheeky one at the moment for the cure though )

rainbowdrop

After tests, I have come to the conclusion that if I drink 3 can's of it, I'm fine. Any more than that, and I will be guaranteed to spend the rest of the evening in the jax!!

I made the mistake of drinking 6 cans of it at Slane this year, and spent most of the rest of the gig in a portaloo. It was like Trainspotting, but worse...... Thank Christ I had emergency toilet rolls in my bag!!:D

Teutorix

Be forewarned, ***the recoil will send you through the ceiling***

Captain Chaos

For me it was like a fire hose on full blast with no off setting, I sand blasted the throne room in slush. Think of the Family Guy puke scene but out the opposite end.

Any time I'm out now and I see someone drinking the stuff I cringe and get flash backs of the clean up operation.

laugh

There was an ad there for Bulmers Pear "New Recipe", they must have gotten some shitty feedback about the original one.

pikachucheeks

laugh wrote: »

There was an ad there for Bulmers Pear "New Recipe", they must have gotten some shitty feedback about the original one.

Nice pun

I'm delighted this thread is back! Possibly one of the best laughs I've had on Boards was reading this...

bronte

I was in asda earlier. Saw 8 bottles of bulmers pear for 6 quid. Tempting, but I have a flight tomorrow. :eek:

stevermick2003

I've been a Guinness / Heineken drinker for some time now, and experienced the black death that comes after a feed of Guinness, but Bulmers Pear just falls out of you with little or no warning!!!!! The bad thing is it's lovely and minimum hangover but it's not worth the hassle

Aidric

stevermick2003 wrote: »

but Bulmers Pear just falls out of you with little or no warning!!!!!

So you crapped yourself?

stevermick2003

Aidric wrote: »

So you crapped yourself?

just about!! and in the middle of the bernard dunne fight!:D

super_furry

Still not going near that liquid arse-dynamite - new recipe or not.

Andy(mike)Lowry

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Nice pun

I'm delighted this thread is back! Possibly one of the best laughs I've had on Boards was reading this...

Ahh i think i gotta take the gamble and try the ''new recipe'' pear.
It just tasted that good before. but only in the summer or if im abroad.

ps. im also lovin the fact this thread is back. funniest read ive had in a long time!

Aglomerado

I'm looking forward to trying it too, have to say the old recipe never affected me in the way described.

(Love this thread too, especially post 228!!!!):D

cosmic

Has anyone tried the new recipe yet? Was there any anal leakage?

ToxicPaddy

Started reading this thread when it first started but couldnt get through it all, just did now and the tears are streaming down my face from laughing..

Absolutely classic..