When guys leer/comment

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

an important thing to remember as you're out running or even just walking, every man who isn't saying that out loud is thinking it and might even make use of it later on in the day.

have a great one, ladies.

Earthhorse

shellyboo wrote: »

Was on a hen weekend recently and spent half the evening removing hands from my arse and boobs.

That's awful. I've often wondered how much of this kind of behaviour women have to tolerate and it would appear it's quite a lot.

One poster asked earlier of these men "What do they expect?". They expect to get away with and, unfortunately, often do. It's a pity more can't be done to put them in their place.

shellyboo

Earthhorse wrote: »

That's awful. I've often wondered how much of this kind of behaviour women have to tolerate and it would appear it's quite a lot.

One poster asked earlier of these men "What do they expect?". They expect to get away with and, unfortunately, often do. It's a pity more can't be done to put them in their place.

It's really crap. Was having a similar discussion with some other girl boardsies about this very topic, and the most frustrating thing about it is that if our bfs were there, one word from them would make the guy back off - yet they won't accept that from the woman herself.

In this case, I was removing the hands, then asking them to stop, then telling them I have a bf, then having to get really arsey with them about it. In one case I had to get a bouncer - and believe me, I'm far from a supermodel. I wonder what really hot women have to put up with if this is what I go through!

onemorechance

It is because they are horny and cannot get laid.

shellyboo

onemorechance wrote: »

It is because they are horny and cannot get laid.

That's a rather sweeping generalisation. I don't believe that a horny guy has no control over his wandering hands or foul mouth... I manage to maintain decorum whether I'm horny or not, why can't guys do that?

Doghouse

Captain Mords Spiced Bum wrote: »

an important thing to remember as you're out running or even just walking, every man who isn't saying that out loud is thinking it and might even make use of it later on in the day.

How nice for them. Personally I couldn't care less what they're thinking - I just don't understand why they feel the need to share their brilliant observations with whatever woman they're looking at.

CoachBoone

Dragan wrote: »

That is the most tired argument i have ever seen in my life, "we are just men".

I am not ****ing enlightened or anything, but i know it's simple manners to NOT shout rubbish at people in the streets, particularly to a female on her own, particularly if i am in a safer position ( removed by them being on foot and me being in a car ) and particularly if i am with more people and outnumber them.

That's basically called being a ****ing pussy.

You say your eyes wander sometimes....there is a pretty MASSIVE difference between that and shouting "Hey lady, did you ever have your asshole licked out by a fatman in an overcoat."*

*Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, quote inserted for comedy purpose.

I grow tired of this common defence of men, that we are just men. From what i can gather, being "just a man" means i am supposed to get too drunk, talk too little, be emotionally closed off and apparently completely lacking in any control between what goes on in my hind brain.

It's ridiculous.

Personally these shouty types are my own favourite victim and should a female friend or family member be on the receiving end i will happily get in their face if given the nod ( my female friends are very forgiving and often forego their female independance in favour of allowing me to entertain myself for five minutes ), the attitude seems to change very dramatically and suddenly these men, acting only on their own programming have no desire to hang around and slouch off like scolded puppies, tales between their legs.

So, is that what a man is programmed to do, because the ratio for these "men" ****ing off after i tell them to is about 1:1.

Chill Captain Fantastic. If you read my post you will see I said pretty much exactly what you said except I didnt feel the need to big up the machismo with stories of my crime fighting.

I agree with the rant just don't see why you felt it was necessary to argue/rant towards someone who said the same thing as you.

onemorechance

shellyboo wrote: »

That's a rather sweeping generalisation. I don't believe that a horny guy has no control over his wandering hands or foul mouth... I manage to maintain decorum whether I'm horny or not, why can't guys do that?

The ones that shout seem to have no control, i.e. the ones being discussed here.

Earthhorse

shellyboo wrote: »

It's really crap. Was having a similar discussion with some other girl boardsies about this very topic, and the most frustrating thing about it is that if our bfs were there, one word from them would make the guy back off - yet they won't accept that from the woman herself.

In this case, I was removing the hands, then asking them to stop, then telling them I have a bf, then having to get really arsey with them about it. In one case I had to get a bouncer - and believe me, I'm far from a supermodel. I wonder what really hot women have to put up with if this is what I go through!

Yes, I suppose the presence of a boyfriend can make the difference alright, but I know of a few cases when even that wasn't enough. Not that it should be required in the first place.

Honestly, I'd love to see these people confronted about their behaviour in front of their mothers and sisters. Many of them, I'd say, are actually pretty straight-laced, reasonable blokes when sober and would be quite embarrassed about how they act on night's out. That's just judging from the one or two guys I know of who do this kind of thing by the way, I know their behaviour suggests these people are shameless but I'd say that's rarely actually the case.

Earthhorse

onemorechance wrote: »

The ones that shout seem to have no control, i.e. the ones being discussed here.

Yeah, but it's not because they're horny and can't get laid, it's simply because they have less control over themselves or respect for others or some combination of the two.

Noffles

It's ok to look... it's not ok to leer and it certainly not ok to touch!!

I'd never contemplate touching another woman... and would expect a smack in the mouth from her boyfriend or friend if I did!

I had a thread up a while ago called "defending her honour" and it's of a similar note, I got a little physical with someone who thought it was ok to pick my wife up and mess around... God help him had he touched her in a "personal" area!!

It simply aint on and I for one think it's stoopid!

Doctor DooM

Just something of interest... whilst I am the proud possesor of a penis, I would get comments from the same type of people when I am carrying a bass. Typically when I am on my own. I virtually always get a comment in Dublin city. These people are just looking to make a comment, and as they're clearly not the brightest sparks, they pick the most glaring thing- and to them, being female is a glaring thing.

There are people who simply must make fun of something they see which is unusual or different (jogging, instruments, etc, whatever). This rather simply says more about these people than their "victims".

Please do not think of men as being simple or cruel. It's people, nasty, small minded people, and it annoys the cack out of me too.

Mr. Incognito

Groping. No- Never.

Looking yes. I look. I like to look. Jaysus I'm biologically programmed to look.

Groping is a legitimate complaint.

Wolfwhistling is a legimate complaint......... depending on the girl- some actually get a kick from it.

But, in 20 years time when the looks dry up. Well, you may just miss people looking.

My 2c anyway.

Pyr0

I can put my hands up and admit that if a girl with an attractive fit body runs or walks by I'll have a look (not stare) maybe a quick look behind too catch the rest but that's about it, I'd never make comments to them or roar out a car window. I'd see it has harmless to have a little look if you like what you see.

Oh and I lol'd so hard reading this:

ill Captain Fantastic. If you read my post you will see I said pretty much exactly what you said except I didnt feel the need to big up the machismo with stories of my crime fighting.

Doctor DooM

Pyr0 wrote: »

I can put my hands up and admit that if a girl with an attractive fit body runs or walks by I'll have a look (not stare) maybe a quick look behind too catch the rest but that's about it, I'd never make comments to them or roar out a car window. I'd see it has harmless to have a little look if you like what you see.

Oh yeah, I look.

In fact, society would probably fall apart if people couldn't look long enough to make that first impression.

It's when it gets leerier than that it becomes problematic.

Galvasean

SDooM wrote: »

Just something of interest... whilst I am the proud possesor of a penis, I would get comments from the same type of people when I am carrying a bass. Typically when I am on my own. I virtually always get a comment in Dublin city. These people are just looking to make a comment, and as they're clearly not the brightest sparks, they pick the most glaring thing- and to them, being female is a glaring thing.

There are people who simply must make fun of something they see which is unusual or different (jogging, instruments, etc, whatever). This rather simply says more about these people than their "victims".

Please do not think of men as being simple or cruel. It's people, nasty, small minded people, and it annoys the cack out of me too.

Ah yes, the 'Hee-ar! Get a haircut!' brigade.
Saw comedian Robbie Bonham do a good routine on that.

staker

I love looking at ladies, it's my job:D.(I'm a man).
Would hate to think i'd intimidate a woman by looking though.
Have worked on building sites where this whistling and stuff goes on,never bothered a lot of the passers by.
From a cheeky grin to a mocking middle finger, most women take it in good spirit.
Those that get upset by it unfortunately come in for extra leering/wolfwhistling,which is wrong.
It's the old hunting in packs scenario isn't it?,none of these guys act the same way on their own.

shellyboo

SDooM wrote: »

Oh yeah, I look.

In fact, society would probably fall apart if people couldn't look long enough to make that first impression.

It's when it gets leerier than that it becomes problematic.

Looking is pretty much essential... I've never ever been offended by a guy looking at me.

But when looking turns into imposing themselves on your personal space - whether that be physically or verbally - that's where the problems begin.

There is a way of being appreciative of a girl's physique without being sleazy as well.

fatmammycat

Most women I know, in fact nearly ALL the women I know hate being whistled or shouted at and would prefer to go about their business unbothered.
I run marathons and train around Dublin, the best and moat effective way to avoid not being fed up is to wear a the brim of your running hat low, music on and ignore the absolute morons who have no self control or basic manners to act like humans.
Looking is one thing, everyone looks, leering or cat calling is totally out of line.

SeekUp

Mr. Anderson wrote: »

I'm not sure about the comments thing. I definitely wouldn't approve of disgusting comments where insults are thrown or sexual comments are made but I would agree with other users that women would enjoy some comments if they aren't completely tasteless. If a guy simply said you looked hot I don't see why this should be a problem. On the other hand I think there could be the argument that if the guy who made a comment was the girls idea of sex on legs I doubt they'd have a problem with almost any comment he had to make.

Some non-completely tasteless comments are fine . . . in an appropriate time and place. If I was wearing a flattering dress and someone came up to me to politely compliment me on how I looked, I would be delighted. But shouting something simple-minded - or even just that I looked hot - at me from across the street just makes me roll my eyes and keep walking. It's embarrassing, and obnoxious, regardless of how much he fit my idea of "sex on legs." More likely, I'd tell someone later, "There was this amazingly hot guy, but then he opened his mouth and shouted at me."

We see hot guys all the time -- no need to shout or leer, much less to the entertainment of the friends that we're with. That's what's degrading . . . the fact that those actions are for mere amusement. Let the woman walk/dance/jog in peace, for heaven's sake.

helimachoptor

Dragan wrote: »

That is the most tired argument i have ever seen in my life, "we are just men".

I am not ****ing enlightened or anything, but i know it's simple manners to NOT shout rubbish at people in the streets, particularly to a female on her own, particularly if i am in a safer position ( removed by them being on foot and me being in a car ) and particularly if i am with more people and outnumber them.

That's basically called being a ****ing pussy.

You say your eyes wander sometimes....there is a pretty MASSIVE difference between that and shouting "Hey lady, did you ever have your asshole licked out by a fatman in an overcoat."*

*Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, quote inserted for comedy purpose.

I grow tired of this common defence of men, that we are just men. From what i can gather, being "just a man" means i am supposed to get too drunk, talk too little, be emotionally closed off and apparently completely lacking in any control between what goes on in my hind brain.

It's ridiculous.

Personally these shouty types are my own favourite victim and should a female friend or family member be on the receiving end i will happily get in their face if given the nod ( my female friends are very forgiving and often forego their female independance in favour of allowing me to entertain myself for five minutes ), the attitude seems to change very dramatically and suddenly these men, acting only on their own programming have no desire to hang around and slouch off like scolded puppies, tales between their legs.

So, is that what a man is programmed to do, because the ratio for these "men" ****ing off after i tell them to is about 1:1.

would agree 100% tbh even if a woman approached them and asked them what the F**k they said they STFU pretty quick.

neuro-praxis

I was recently walking home in my neighbourhood at about three in the morning when I came upon a group of young men, who showered me with compliments and promptly offered me sexual intercourse. When I suggested that death would be preferable to this, and that they were a disgrace to their gender, I was suddenly rendered a fat and ugly bitch who was now strangely, according them, even more in need of sexual intercourse than before. :pac:

helimachoptor

pikachucheeks wrote: »

See, that's fine - you have limits! You know it's not ok to make remarks.
Looking is normal, everyone has a little peep at someone they find attractive - I can deal with that! I'd find it a bit scary if someone *obviously* stared at me and didn't break eye-contact at all though... and I'd say that's natural!

I've checked out a lot of women in my time but there is a fine line between appreciating someone who is attractive and staring at her like a potential rapist!

I've only made one comment to a girl about being attractive, I was sober but she was amazing stunning, It was on the dart she pretty much ran me over trying to get in before the doors closed, she fell down I picked her up realised she was stunning and it just came out, man I was embarrassed but she just said thanks for the compliment and she went to sit down.


My GF often experiences teenagers saying stuff to her when she's out walking she sticks the ipod in ignores them.

pikachucheeks

helimachoptor wrote: »

I've checked out a lot of women in my time but there is a fine line between appreciating someone who is attractive and staring at her like a potential rapist!...
My GF often experiences teenagers saying stuff to her when she's out walking she sticks the ipod in ignores them.

potential?

That's happened me before - these three little fellas came up to me in The Square, couldn't have been older than twelve and one of them said "Hurrrr, Missus! Will you meet my friend?"
I politely said no.
Then he said "Alri, will ya meet me?"

Hahahaha

helimachoptor

pikachucheeks wrote: »

potential?

That's happened me before - these three little fellas came up to me in The Square, couldn't have been older than twelve and one of them said "Hurrrr, Missus! Will you meet my friend?"
I politely said no.
Then he said "Alri, will ya meet me?"

Hahahaha

Well to be honest some lads remind me of Homer Simpson a la...
When they see a nice girl and forget that the girl can see them staring and it can be pretty uncomfortable.

Man I wish girls would stare at me :P

zoology lady

What annoys me, is if I'm walking and a car slows down,,, :eek: WTF?!..
I've always had big boobs and I hate that for some reason ppl, not just men think its ok to leer/comment on them. I've learned for the most part to brush it off. But I have insecurities {who doesn't} and sometmes, it really gets to me.

And to clarify, approaching a girl in any situation and asking "are those beauties real?" is never appropriate!..

I actually recently went to a house party and was talking to a friend of a friend, who kept randomly dropping his eyes, saying epic rack. He has a gf and luckily for him, I know he didn't mean it in a bad/ demeaning way. :rolleyes:

pikachucheeks

zoology lady wrote: »

What annoys me, is if I'm walking and a car slows down,,, :eek: WTF?!..
I've always had big boobs and I hate that for some reason ppl, not just men think its ok to leer/comment on them. I've learned for the most part to brush it off. But I have insecurities {who doesn't} and sometmes, it really gets to me.

I know exactly how you feel!

"Sorry, how much did you pay for them?"

"Where did you get those done?"

"I think I know you from somewhere ... Have you been in FHM?"

Ugh!

I also hate when people say "You have such big boobs" - what do you say to that? - It's not a compliment, it's a statement!
It's like going up to someone and telling them they have eyes! :rolleyes:

shellyboo

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I also hate when people say "You have such big boobs" - what do you say to that? - It's not a compliment, it's a statement!

I find, "Thanks, I grew them myself" usually gobsmacks people long enough for me to get away :P

zoology lady

As well the fact that big boobed women get told this, as if we haven't noticed!! I was wondering what they were? :eek:.

It makes me want smaller boobs! I was a c cup when I was 12 so {now an E} I reckon I've had them for long enough! I've asked my friends with smaller boobs and they say suprisingly random ppl never walk up to them and say, wow you've small boobs.

If men just did I could understand but other women commenting really pisses me off,

random girl "I wish they were mine"
mise "Me too, you can have the back pain as well! "

helimachoptor

Man I really love boobs /// must resist the urge to grope :D