Living in a rural area

winking weber

Do any of you live somewhere rural? How do you find it?

I have just moved to a very rural part of the country and I have to say, sometimes I find it difficult. I lived in Dublin for ten years and enjoyed everything that city had to offer. Not least there being plenty of young vibrant people around. I am from the country originally and I have plenty of pastimes to keep me going, but I do find it difficult to make friends tbh.

I am single too. I had a few problems yesterday which had me cursing my isolation. I was feeling sorry for myself that I had noone to call on for help.

Any of you in a similar position?

Clare Bear

I grew up in a very rural area and to be honest I'd go back to it in a second. I love the countryside and being miles away from everywhere. However I'm sure now that I've been in Dublin for a few years I'd get lonely fast. If I could move the people I love down there it'd be my perfect world

Making friends in a rural place is a lot more difficult but even the tinest of places have clubs and groups nearby. Look in to it, see what's around that you might be interested in.

winking weber

I'm not saying Id go back to Dublin. I have always wanted to live in the country. I'd just love to move my friends down here as well

I'm trying to socialise and get going with clubs and activities. But it takes time. And I really havent met anyone yet who would have much in common with me. Actually, yes I have, but they're generally older and settled with children.

shellyboo

I'm from a very rural area, and while I love living in the countryside in the peace and quiet, I wouldn't move back there for the world.

There are advantages - safer, quieter, less stress - but it's the mentality of the people who live in the village that I can't deal with. I also love the anonymity of living in the city.

The one thing I do miss are my cousins and friends who live at home - would love to see them more!

pikachucheeks

I live in a tiny village in west Cork, moved from Dublin when I was five.

Went to boarding school then, so I lost contact with the FOUR people who had been in my class in primary school.

None of my friends lived near me so the weekends were quite lonely...

I'm back in Dublin now, which I find suits me better.

I appreciate the country more now though, I've found - It's a great place to go to get some peace and to relax.

If I were you, I'd get some friends down, go out locally and get talking to new people - you'll feel more confident than if you went out on your own

Country people tend to be quite friendly as well, so you should be fine - the atmosphere is a lot more relaxed and calm.

Xiney

I love visiting the country. I appreciate nature and quiet and being outdoors.

But I need to live in a city. I'm in Galway and it's just barely cutting it. I can't wait to be back in Montreal.

Pyr0

I really really wouldn't want to live in the country, I hate the idea of being miles away from anything. I love the city, would love to live in the likes of New York, Boston etc.

stupidsometimes

I moved to a small village while all my friends moved to dublin so I pretty had to make a load of new friends. I started off with just saying hi to my neighbours and chatting to them whenever I saw them. Now I have 2 great friends here and we all look out for each other and house sit for each other if one of us is away. People go on and on about stuff like join clubs and stuff but that isn't always practical. Just get to know your neighbours and it usually snowballs from there.

winking weber

shellyboo wrote: »

but it's the mentality of the people who live in the village that I can't deal with. I also love the anonymity of living in the city.

This is a major drawback of where I live. The people actually arent that nice (I think its peculiar to this area). And I really dont like the small town mentality at all. There are nice people around of course, but in general, not the nicest I've come across. I dont like having to consider 'what people think' in my behaviour too. Not that it dictates it by a long shot, but you do need to be more careful in a small community I find.

pikachucheeks wrote: »

If I were you, I'd get some friends down, go out locally and get talking to new people - you'll feel more confident than if you went out on your own

Country people tend to be quite friendly as well, so you should be fine - the atmosphere is a lot more relaxed and calm.

I have been here over a year now. I do know quite a few people and I do go out to the pub occasionally. Theres just noone around I can say I really click with. The person I see most of has never left the village. He's very nice and friendly but... I have very different life experience I guess.

stupidsometimes wrote: »

Now I have 2 great friends here and we all look out for each other and house sit for each other if one of us is away. People go on and on about stuff like join clubs and stuff but that isn't always practical. Just get to know your neighbours and it usually snowballs from there.

Well done you. It sounds like you've been lucky.

IanCurtis

Move.

Problem solved.

Unless you moved miles out to buy a house, in which case you're screwed :-)

pikachucheeks

winking weber wrote: »

I have been here over a year now. I do know quite a few people and I do go out to the pub occasionally. Theres just noone around I can say I really click with. The person I see most of has never left the village. He's very nice and friendly but... I have very different life experience I guess.

I know how you feel. Whenever I come down, I feel a bit... isolated in the sense that my life's been a lot different to theirs so I feel like I don't fit in.

It's hard.

If you're happy living there, then I guess it's ok - it's only a problem if you feel very lonely.

Maybe join some clubs in the local area, or get involved in anything that's going on! - It might be Bingo on a Friday night, but hey, when in Rome ...

Permabear

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Permabear

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winking weber

donegalfella wrote: »

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Yes. So true

Ian Curtis, I could move but I actually want to live in the country. I like it here except for being slightly lonely during the week and not having a network of friends. The weekends arent so bad.

rediguana

winking weber wrote: »

Do any of you live somewhere rural? How do you find it?

I have just moved to a very rural part of the country and I have to say, sometimes I find it difficult. I lived in Dublin for ten years and enjoyed everything that city had to offer. Not least there being plenty of young vibrant people around. I am from the country originally and I have plenty of pastimes to keep me going, but I do find it difficult to make friends tbh.

I am single too. I had a few problems yesterday which had me cursing my isolation. I was feeling sorry for myself that I had noone to call on for help.

Any of you in a similar position?

I just moved to rural west Cork after four years in Dublin. Takes a little adjustment. It's a 22km roundtrip if I want to go to the gym. I could walk to Total Fitness in three mins when I lived in Sandyford!

That said, I do like it here. I set myself up with a birdfeeder and the finches, tits, and sparrows give me good entertainment.

I'm married, so it's not so bad for me.

p.s. the broadband isn't great either.

Blush_01

I know people all say "join a club" and leave it at that, but I'm going to make a more specific suggestion - join Macra!

I moved to Dublin for college and the longest stretch I spent at home between starting my degree and finishing my masters was about 3 weeks when a family member was sick. As a result, most of my friends had moved away or moved on, and I had a whole new circle in Dublin. Then between my masters and finding a full-time job, I was at home and lonely. I was coerced into joining Macra and I can honestly say it was the best thing I've ever done. Everyone's between 17 and 35, there's a huge mix of people and there's something for everyone.

Check their website out and see if there's anything that catches your eye there. I couldn't recommend it any more highly.

winking weber

hmm interesting. I'm not entirely sure if macra would be my scene, but it might be worth giving it a go. I am from a farming background. Thanks!

Rediguana good call on leaving the move until you've settled down a bit. Thats what most people seem to do.

What can I say... I'm impatient!

da_shivsta

I've moved to Galway last Sept for college - I haven't made that many friends here so even though I'm in the city I'm finding it kinda lonely, compared to the country where I knew everyone and got on fairly well with a lot of people. I always had somewhere to go. I can't really afford to go to any clubs or anything. So basically I'm in the same boat......:o

da_shivsta

da_shivsta wrote: »

I've moved to Galway last Sept for college - I haven't made that many friends here so even though I'm in the city I'm finding it kinda lonely, compared to the country where I knew everyone and got on fairly well with a lot of people. I always had somewhere to go. I can't really afford to go to any clubs or anything. So basically I'm in the same boat......:o

Galway can be very clickish. Alot of people going to college with their mates from home.
And some of the course sizes in NUIG make it difficult to met people.

Clubs and socs really are a brilliant way to make friends.
And alot don't charge more than a nominal membership fee.

A part time job is a good way to get into a social network.

Once you find your feet, galway offers plenty of lubricated social opportunity.

beertons

Macra is class! Got me out when I was coming to an age, and I lived rural. Man, the trips away were deadly.

fifomania

Like another poster said, it's the rural mentality that is one of the worst things about living in the country! I remember the quote (from Emmerdale...ahem) that said "small town, small minds" and that's what I've found in nearly 30 years of rural living!

The Sweeper

Heheheh yeah I did something like that - went the 12,000 miles to Australia, then out into a tiny town in the Australian bush. I have to drive to get to the nearest shop.

I love it out here - quiet, peaceful, (the heat helps ) but the standing joke is that the first 20 years are the hardest!!

It is very difficult to make friends out in the countryside and I do miss the convenience of city living sometimes, but I wouldn't go back!

pikachucheeks

rediguana wrote: »

I just moved to rural west Cork after four years in Dublin. Takes a little adjustment. It's a 22km roundtrip if I want to go to the gym. I could walk to Total Fitness in three mins when I lived in Sandyford!

I live in rural west Cork too :P
Well, my family do - I'm live in Dublin most of the time!

Huge difference in the lifestyles!

Jemmy

I live in a very rural part of Wicklow, my nearest shop is 5miles away and my nearest neighbour is a mile away!

I love it here, I've lived in towns and I could live in the city but I'd have to come home every now and then. Plus living just an hour from Dublin I never felt the need to move up there.

When I settle down years from now I wouldn't bring up a family in the city. I've nothing against it, I just like the quietness and stress free atmosphere in the back arse of beyond!


I have to agree with Shellyboo tho, the way some people carry on in the country is ridiculous. Everyone knows everyones business too even if you tell noone! We are here 15yrs now, (im 23) but we are still considered blow ins! ffs ive spent most of my life growning up here hello!

midlandsmissus

Basically in the country, everybody in one village hates everybody outside that village. They only like people theyve known since they were babies,and this is the important bit: they have to know all your previous generations.

I moved to a village when I was 7 when my parents divorced and at times the smallmindedness used to make me cry, as a child.

People would be talking about other people in the village e.g 'there's John, Jimmy's lad, I remember when his grandad won the county final'. If you had a few generations in the village you were like God.

Then there was me (and other blow ins):my grandparents werent from the area, my dad lived somewhere else so I couldnt have him to get involved in the GAA (if ur family isnt in that u dont count), so I`d often get people saying in front of me `"I dont know anyone belonging to her" and "I couldnt tell you a thing about her family" and laughing. Its like it didnt matter who you were, unless you had a family that was heavily involved in the community you didnt count.There were some nice people but definitely not alot.At 17 I left for college,made so many more friends, wasnt judged and I loved it. Would never go back. Unless you have alot of family in the area you`re going to move to I think its not worth it.Country people are very cliquey and dont like change. Icant speak for all of them but in my experience its true.