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AntiJokes

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  • 28-05-2009 4:10pm
    #1
    conjamuk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 134 ✭✭


    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in
    hospital.

    A man walks into a pub.
    He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

    Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a
    bridge?
    She wasclinically depressed and took her own life because ofher terribly low self-esteem.

    What do you call a cat with no tail?
    A manx cat.

    Why do undertakers wear ties?
    Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their
    appearance has a degree of gravitas.

    Why do women fake orgasms?
    Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

    Two men are sitting in a pub.
    One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men
    coming in and out of your wife's house.' The otherman replies: 'Yes, she
    has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'

    Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind abush, a rabbit leaps out
    and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders
    off.

    Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
    Because it would not be financially viable to attempt
    to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated
    rainforest.


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