I need some advice........

keithy67

Sorry this is long....

This guy and I have been really good friends for the past year. We started hanging out more in the last 4 months. He came by the house after work, (we both work at the same place on 2nd shift) almost every single night. Since we get off late we have stayed up till 4:00am talking.

I'm attracted to him (just this past week) and other friends say it's obvious that he is as well. We both laid down the ground rules from the get go that we are just going to be friends. We talked one night about going to NYC over our vacation that we scheduled at the same time. We got serious about it and I said I could book the flights with my card. He was low on cash and I was told by a relative to book the flights ahead of time. I booked them in our names. He likes to shop and not save... I know stupid of me..

He says he's not had sex or even performed masturbation since March. I have dated regardless. He doesn't date, per him.

Two weeks ago we went out as a group with friends from work. There was a "drag king" doing a show and I went to give "him" a dollar. I was intoxicated and he (the drag king) planted a long kiss on me. I am fine with that. This friend, per others, was shocked and disgusted. He doesn't hate women he just doesn't find them arousing. Ok by me.. That's why he's gay. He likes "bear" type guys and ran into two guys that are a couple and got their number. Ok by me..

This friend would talk about how "hungry" he is for a bear, grabbing his crotch area and licking his lips. I told him a few times that made me a little uncomfortable. He would stop. Nights later he'd do it again and I just started ignoring him. I was hoping he would hook up with these two guys he met at the bar to get all this sexual tension down. They did call and he would show me the text messages and I was happy as crap.

He had a gift card at a resturant and we went out. This past week he didn't come by at the usual time one night and that was ok since I wanted a little break. He showed up at the house at 2:30am very angry (which he denies) and accused me of being bisexual. I told him that it is ok if a girl gives me a peck, like my best girl, but I am gay. I enjoy sex with men only. He kept on till I had enough and told him to leave. He "left" but ran back into the house wanting a hug. I told him to just go on so I could cool off.

We had planned to go as a group with some friends the next night to a club in a nearby town. I was shopping and he called my cell phone and said, "Did you miss me?" I said, "yeah". He said he would call everyone for the night out. He called no one and he said he wanted just him and I to go. I was put off by that. He said he wanted a night of honesty an hour after we got to the club. I told him that he should pick a night that I could think clearly. He was weird all night long. I just didn't want to go there...

He stopped coming by. I guess I got a little hooked with his attention. I called to see if he was ok and he was crying on the phone saying he was tired of feeling empty after sexual encounters and wants more. I'm not his type cause of his adoration for bears that I am not. I finally told him of my feelings that I have kept on hold. He said, "Oh.... You got it bad for me don't you." He knew that kind of cockiness is a turn off and he quickly said, "I meant feelings..." He didn't deny or say anything. He said we needed to talk but he has so much on him that he needs some time. I'm trying to give him some space but this has been almost a week.

I've mentioned the trip a few times and he got quiet. I called the airline today. I'm trying to think ahead if this blows the wrong way. I can't take his name off and replace it with another friend per some post 9-11 bullcrap. It's HIS ticket even though he's only given me $51 of the full $251.00 ticket. If he cancels the ticket there is a $150 fee on him.. Again, I am not jumping the gun I'm just planning ahead.

I've texted him a couple times and nothing... What do I do?

Marshy

Try ringing him and if that doesn't work get a mutual friend to contact him for you.

It's really bad form not to give you an answer one way or another, especially after you bought his ticket.

keithy67

Marshy wrote: »

Try ringing him and if that doesn't work get a mutual friend to contact him for you.

It's really bad form not to give you an answer one way or another, especially after you bought his ticket.

I hate involving other people but you're right. It may come to that. I've tried to keep our friendship just that. People at work think there is a lot more going on here. And they aren't off the mark... I'll have to figure out who I can get to be the go-between that can be discreet about this.

We've both been so excited over the trip. I see my mistake for not getting the money up front. Don't think I haven't been kicking myself over that.

He has a giving and great personality. We're different when it comes to money. I save for a goal in mind and he spends to feel better right then for gratification.

I was thinking the other night maybe this trip would be too much for him. Everytime I've asked if he thought he was going to be able to really commit to this he always said yes. The trip isn't till the end of July. That's a lot of time. I've said if he thinks he can't go I can get someone else.

Of course now I find out that he's stuck with that ticket from the airlines. It can't be transferred or anything. I thought I read every little clause and rule.

Thanks for you advice and responding...

LegacyUser

Hi, just read your post and I'm sorry to see they way things are turning out. My honest opinion is that if you're looking for a relationship I think all you will experience is heart break. It seem's he trying to touch a nerve with you or playing a mind game with you.

I was there once, I liked a guy and always knew he fancied me but he would make silly comments or make stupid statements in order to get a reaction. I knew at that point that he was a head wreck and told him that all we could be were freinds. Obviously he wanted more and was texting and calling, when I eventually told him to gte lost and leave me alone.

You need to be careful with people like that OP, because there's obviously other stuff going on in his head and he's not being honest with you. I get the feeling he's may use you as a comfort cushion and that is no way for a relationship to start cause it will get messed up.

hope it works out for ya