boy manners or just manners in general?

ciagr297

ladies - not sure if this is a specific thing to boys, so i am just putting it out there as a boy problem.
when i send my brother or male friends a text with a question, i expect a reply...or is it just me being silly? am i supposed to assume no reply is no?

like i said my brother has been doing this for a while and it irritates the bejebus out of me.

i was under the impression that it is just good manners that if someone invites you to do something(like a beer with other friends/buy a poor student lunch etc) that you rsvp. my expectations are simple - either yes or no. but i do expect a reply either way

i know there are legit causes for not replying, but an acknowledgement at some point!

when i've tried to bring this up with my brother (whom i used to live with) and he completely dismisses me as "over reacting" or "you are such a woman"

firstly, when did manners become gender specific? and also, why is it that i find this sort of thing more common with my male friends?

topper75

Strange thing how women seem to love texting more than men.

As a man - I hate texting and can't explain it properly. I lose the will to live half way through typing a response and usually give up, curse the phone keypad, and call the person instead. In all other respects though, I would say I'm 'tech savvy'.

Phone calls are way better. Text used to make sense when tarriffs for calls were higher. Nowadays texts are a total pain.

I do ignore a lot of texts I receive cos it is just time consuming. It may seem rude but texts in themselves can have a rude angle to them in that you weren't bothered making the call! :pac:

Give them a call if it is important.

Otis Driftwood

I would usually always reply to a question/query but there are times when I just couldnt be arsed too like if someone text and asked did I go out last night etc.However if asked am I going out tonight I would always respond.

ciagr297

yes i agree that if its really important, calling is the best.

i've always viewed texting as less intrusive than calls.....and you can lie alot faster on them as well

i do take my time replying if its not something immediate, but always reply

i find it rude for someone to totally not acknowledge that you have invited them to an event or something, it just smacks of you're-not-worth-it

stovelid

It's really rude not to reply to a text that is arranging a meeting.

I do have some male friends that basically signal a No by just not answering which drives me batshit, but I'm not sure it's a gender thing because most of my male friends would give the courtesy of a reply.

ciagr297

stovelid wrote: »

It's really rude not to reply to a text that is arranging a meeting.

I do have some male friends that basically signal a No by just not answering which drives me batshit, but I'm not sure it's a gender thing because most of my male friends would give the courtesy of a reply.

have you ever tried to bring it up with them? like if annoys you as much as it annoys me.

shellyboo

I never reply to big group "I'm having a party, blah" texts unless I'm going. I figure it's the same as getting an invite in the post, I wouldn't sit down and write a reply and post it...

If the person asks me to RSVP for numbers, I'll reply - but otherwise I wouldn't. I'd find it rude if I text someone one-on-one and they didn't reply, for whatever reason. I wouldn't get annoyed about it though.

Doctor DooM

ciagr297 wrote: »

ladies - not sure if this is a specific thing to boys

I find it interesting that you refer to women as ladies and men as boys... maybe it's the fellas you're hanging around with.

Anywho, it depends on volume. I know some women I simply cannot keep up with the amount of texts they like to send.

Also, if I am in work, or I am out lunching/drinking whatever with others, answering texts can come accross as rude or even irresponsible.

To be honest alot of the time I am just so busy by the time I remember a text it is irrelevant.

Texting is no medium to discuss anything important anyway. You have no read reciept worth a damn. If you want to get your message accross, ring. This way you will be able to confirm the message is recieved or not.

challengemaster

I'll generally reply to most texts...unless I just don't feel like talking to someone for whatever reason.

However, If I reply saying 'Im not going out tonight' and get back 'why not, blah blah blah'

I'll probably stop replying

stovelid

ciagr297 wrote: »

have you ever tried to bring it up with them? like if annoys you as much as it annoys me.

On a few occasions, but you know, it usually just ends up in an argument, and the need for a quiet life takes over.

I guess you get to read the signal, and know what the non-reply means, but it doesn't make it any less annoying.

Malari

ciagr297 wrote: »

firstly, when did manners become gender specific? and also, why is it that i find this sort of thing more common with my male friends?

I think it's person-specific, not gender-specific.

My brother is useless too. I don't expect chatty answers, but when I ask if he needs a lift somewhere (he doesn't drive) or if he's available for a family dinner or something and he doesn't reply it does my head in! He's not in the same country as me, so it's not like I'm pestering him every weekend :mad:

Fighting Irish

I'll reply to a question or a request or whatever, but don't expect me to waste my money texting you back if you're just telling me something, unless you're on meteor or really hot

Chucky the tree

Unless it's got my name on it, I won't reply.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

coffee_cake

I sometimes text a bit to have a chat with a friend, then ignore it for days
sounds like jsut lack of manners in general there, OP

The_Conductor

I loose the will to live when I have to reply to a text. Even my mother gets pissed off with me- I simply hate texting. If someone wants information from me- they accept they have to ring me (or curiously- e-mail me). I've gone to bizarre lengths to try to make replying to the odd text less of a chore for me- every phone I've gotten in the past 10 years has had a full qwerty keyboad- I had one of the very first Nokia Communicators in the country. Nope- don't text me- ring me if you want a response.

Orla K

I'm in the same situation except the roles are switched. My brother is always giving out to me for not texting back or answering calls. What normally happens is I wander off and leave it behind, takes me ages to realise that I don't have it and it can be hours until I have it again I normally come back to abusive texts from him giving out so at that point I won't answer/reply.

But then again I also just don't like typing out texts or talking to my brother (he normally just gives out about something).

I think I got into the habit of ringing people when I dropped my phone(screen stopped working) and couldn't get a new one for afew months, it was really annoying when people sent me texts(either had to send them a mystery text or figure out who it was so I could ring them) and I still have that feeling of dread when I see a text.

I don't know why people don't ring more instead of text, it's much easier, probably cheaper, quicker and most importantly less effort.