A man walks into a bar.....

az2wp0sye65487

...with a steering wheel sticking out of the front of his trousers.

The barman says "do you realise you have a steering wheel sticking out of the front of your trousers?"

The man says "I know, and it's drivin' me nuts"

Just to lighten the mood for the start of what's looking like a lovely long weekend ahead of us!

OK so I wanted to ask you about bad; no - absolutely terrible jokes. This isn't a question about how many bad jokes you know, (although they are appreciated) rather a question of how you react when someone comes up with one.

Personally I love them! even if they are cheesy / corny / cringe-worthy, and I say "that's such a s**t joke" - I'll still end up remembering it to tell it later on!

dr.bollocko

Moved from AH

axer

Brendan Thousands Realtor wrote: »

Personally I love them! even if they are cheesy / corny / cringe-worthy, and I say "that's such a s**t joke" - I'll still end up remembering it to tell it later on!

There was a psychological study done on this recently enough that showed that people are more likely to remember bad jokes because it they follow normal thought patterns.

OldGoat

I generally find that a good twack across the back of the head with a large blunt object, like the leg of a chair or table or similar, is enough of a critisism for crappy joke tellers.
It is also better to catch them early in the joke so that I don't have to suffer any more then neseccary.

"A man walk int...."
GOOD TWACK
"Ouch, WTF! Was that an iron bar?"

Degsy

A mangy looking bloke who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it." The bloke says, "You're right.
I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risque." "Deal!" says the bloke and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a mouse. He puts the mouse on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the mouse is really good.
The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That mouse is truly good on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.
"Money or another miracle else no drink", says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him 300 quid for the frog.
The guy says "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for 300 quid? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy." "Not so", says the guy. "The mouse is also a ventriloquist."

az2wp0sye65487

Degsy wrote: »

A mangy looking bloke who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it." The bloke says, "You're right.
I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risque." "Deal!" says the bloke and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a mouse. He puts the mouse on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the mouse is really good.
The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That mouse is truly good on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.
"Money or another miracle else no drink", says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him 300 quid for the frog.
The guy says "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for 300 quid? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy." "Not so", says the guy. "The mouse is also a ventriloquist."

I was going to thank that but hesitated at the last second, as it really is a s**t joke!

Porkpie

Degsy, don't mind him, that was a great joke! Well done!