Big Brother Launch Thoughts

leggo

Did this blog up for Bebo...maybe some people here might enjoy it:

Try as I might...I can't resist the staples of reality TV, the big 'uns: Big Brother, X Factor, Britain's Got Talent and The Apprentice (I CAN, however, go about my entire life happily without watching another episode of 'I'm A Celebrity...' though).

So, considering I was working the Beyonce gig last night, I'm only getting around to watching the BB Launch now. This will pretty much decide whether I follow it for the year or not...though I'll admit now, I probably will just for something to do.

The funny thing about these blogs is, I tend to write one either on Bebo or elsewhere every year...and the housemate I hate at the start ALWAYS ends up being my favourite by the end of it. The housemate I predict to win always finishes about 4th or 5th. And the housemate I wanna ride the most always goes 1st or 2nd. Who will I condemn this year? Read on to find out.

Anyway, some live thoughts? Mkay...

***So it's gonna be a summer of constant Lucozade ads then is it? ****ing a...I'd complain, but I'm drinking a bottle as I write this so obviously they're doing something right.

***Davina McCall is legitimately the ONLY celebrity that I'd marry. That even includes Diana Vickers and Little Boots. Not only does she have the MILF effect, but the fine wine effect and a killer personality. The type that keeps you interested, that SHOWS you the passion of whatever she's feeling, that emotionally compensates when you're not quite feeling it. Plus, I'd say she's a demon shag.

***They're not aware that they're not really housemates? Bet that they are though.

***Been saying it since they did an all-girl house...only way they can top that is by doing a Launch Night where there's only ONE housemate. They don't even get to talk to Big Brother. Leave them on their own for a week and watch them go slowly insane.

***Right, Freddie made me laugh...I'll give him that much. But he's gonna turn out to be one of these guys who, when in a group, just slots in and goes along with the crowd. He's this year's Luke...wait and see...And what's with the fat tie?!?

***Lisa...the token dyke for the year. Plus she's a rip-off of Tracy from a couple years ago. With a bit of Pete for good measure. Are they just taken forgettable housemates and recycling them or what?!

***Her favourite past-time is eating out. I know I'm not the only one who laughed.

***Seeing Freddie and Lisa meet just drove home how stereotypical this whole thing has gotten. "OMG THERE'S A POSH GUY WITH A SKUNK HAT AND A LESBIAN WITH A RED MOHAWK!!! IMAGINE...THEY'VE TO, LIKE, LIVE TOGETHER. LIKE CO-HABIT. FOR WEEKS!!!!!!!!! IMAGINNNNNNNEEEE!!!!"

***I'll make fun of people who think like that...but I can only say it because I thought the same. I hate myself right now.

***"What's the capital of Uruguay? U" I like this gal. That's actually fairly clever. She's gonna be in the final week.

***Ya know what ruined Kris' whole self-image for me? When he pointed to his crotch with guns for hands and shot. I mean...I like cocky, arrogant lads...****, I am one. I just don't see him banging on about the four girls he's ever chatted up as quite...'player' status. Bet he goes shy when he sees the blonde.

***Wait...no...she's following him around. Respect. This is like the first time I ever learned Russell Brand was a sex symbol. You learn something new every day.

***Noirin. Right. She's my type. Gettable too! Mark my words...if I see her in QBar one day...

***Cairon...the new Science. Love it! "Are you gay?" "...NO!" Classic. This is gonna be the guy that everyone loves...but he gets himself evicted after one argument and everyone regrets it down the line.

***Awww...he's shy. Potential winner actually...no wait. We've already had Brian. Sorry Cai-Dog.

***Is it me or does Angel not actually have a six-pack?

***Oh...sweet...jesus, she's making a ho-lee show of herself...

***Quote of the night from Davina: "She only sleeps for four hours a night...probably because she's trying to get to places..."

***There's your first eviction right there. Operation Psycho Russian proves a failure from the moment the limo door opens.

***Karly: Oh no no no. Ohhhhh no no no no no...She talks like Alex Ferguson.

***"She once dated a Scottish 3rd Division footballer...result?" I love you Davina.

***Karly comes in as Freddie comments, "WE are the show." He just ensured that this Big Brother will be the lowest rated ever. Way to go Freddie.

***Marcus: classic. FINALLY they've put someone in there to take the piss out of 90% of the people in Fibbers! Unfortunately...like 90% of the people in Fibbers...he'll look like he has a personality at first glance but then be a shy, boring, shell of a man when it comes down to it. Oh well.

***This Pakistani young one is qualifying her arse off. She's the first person to cry in the house, guaranteed.

***Her celebrity lookalike is Amy Winehouse? Try Jo Brand love...

***She's single because men are scared of her. That's what every fat girl says. We're not. Just lose some weight or find a guy that likes big gals. It's you, not us. Sorry.

***So Sophia is going to be our mixture of Verne Troyer and Cookie Monster Kat then?

***Seriously, if this bitch doesn't stop screaming I'm gonna step on her.

***It's time for a change with Rodrigo on Big Brother? Seriously...an emphatic gay guy saying that he's making a change...on BIG BROTHER of all things??!

***Here's my beef with Big Bro: they're throwing all of these so-called 'unique' people in...but they're all so stereotypical at this stage that they're NOT unique anymore.

***SEE??! ANOTHER EMPHATIC GAY BLOKE!!!

***This Charlie dude must be the female equivalent of Helen 'I love blinking I do' from BB2. He's another potential winner though.

***I'm gonna make a vow now. I WILL get this bird Saffia on the show for an interview...and I WILL take her down SEVERAL pegs.

***I'd still give her one though.

***YES!!!!! THEY THROUGH AN AHMED TRIBUTE IN THERE!!!!!!!!!

***Ahmed and Derek. Two best housemates ever. Fact.

***Victor and Science are a close third and fourth.

***But anyway, back to Sree. His favourite word is 'love'. Says it all really doesn't it?

***Sree and Sophia anyone? Sreephia doesn't have the same ring to it as Chiggy...but still...

***Siavash doesn't have any nicknames. I'll give him one: twat.

***He doesn't feel he'd be the way he is if he still lived in Iran. Yeah if he lived there he'd probably be dead. An improvement anyway.

***What an absolute DICK. Has anyone ever told him that he looks like a middle eastern Gandalf?!

***I could do this all day.

***Awww please Big Brother. Let me go in there for ONE DAY! ONE DAY is all I need. Can I PLLEEEEEASE put these ****ing...idiots...in their place!?!?

***They need to change this **** up. I haven't even heard the non-housemate gimmick...but they should've done it on the Friday. Give us a night to get to know them and care about them.

Don't get me wrong: I like the early 'secret challenges' where it could effect how they get on with these people before they've even got to know each other. And I GET that they feel the need to give people a reason to keep watching after the first night. But the fact is that the launch show WILL draw viewers anyway.

At the end of the Thursday show, drop the bombshell that these aren't full housemates yet AFTER they've been introduced...then say 'Watch tomorrow night to find out why!' and do the secret challenge THEN. People will tune in, watch the highlights of the first night, start to attach to the housemates, then be convinced to keep watching to see how the challenge goes...in the meantime caring more about the rest of the housemates as it goes.

As it stands, the way they do it means that people lose interest after the challenge is over. Last year, for example, I certainly wasn't as interested after Mario and that scouser chick had been rumbled. Whereas if they'd have given me a day, at least, to just get used to the characters THEN sprung the challenge on me...it would've meant a lot more.

***Just saying...

***Did Big Brother start using walkie-talkies to communicate with the housemates or what?

***So let me get this straight...this whole non-housemate thing is just a ploy to say, 'The people who don't complete the challenges are up for eviction?'

***And they let him tell the housemates??? That's poxy!

***ONLY FOUR MINUTES??! Why should I watch tomorrow?!

***Told you Noirin was cool. Or just desperate. Either way, desperate is cool to me when you look like that.

***The moustache doesn't look like the one in the diary room though?

***HA! Now the razor's broken. THAT'S funny!

***Mess. It's a mess. Gas.

***And now the PEOPLE are voting the real housemates in?? So what about the challenges? So how is it different than any other year? Did the producers actually think any of this through or are they just sounding off random buzz words in a desperate attempt to get people watching?!

***The whole thing seems to have gone to **** already. Know the worst part?

***I'll probably still keep watching. And you will too at some stage. Oh well...why bother fighting it anymore?

***BIG BROTHER'S BACK!!!!

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