animal totems

dade

ok guys I'm looking for people's thoughts, feelings and experiences with animal totems or animal spirit guides. Because I really want to look into mine for reasons that will be come clear in this post. sorry if I bore you to tears with it. also if this should be over in spirituality the fire away and move it on over.

Some back ground, I’m Irish, though not directly relevant my limited knowledge of Irish culture does not put an emphasis on animal totems unlike say Native American culture. The animal I am most drawn to is the Wolf; this I feel matches my personality. I tend to be a loner, I only have what I would call 3 really close friends and maybe half a dozen other friends. I was always considered sly in school and again tended to be a loner. oddly enough i've have no pets nor have I of the particle animal I feel is my guide, though the family did have a dog before.

Anyway over the years I have always felt closeness to wolves. It all began when I was 17 or 18. One night I had a dream. I dreamt that I was running through a wood or forest and I was being chased by a wolf. Now when I saw wolf I can’t be sure coz I didn’t see it at the time I just felt its presence. Also I say wolf because there was only one chasing me. I ran and ran as you do til I came to a small stone bridge over a stream. It was in a clearing. I stopped here feeling safe and sat at the bridge waiting. I then saw the wolf come out of the trees look at me and walk off. the dream even now is so clear to me and it was almost 17 years ago.

At the time I had a really close friend that lived in Ohio and we would write to each other almost weekly, long before email, bebo and facebook. Snail mail FTW LOL. Anyway she use to write about interesting things that she did or saw while we both did our best to avoid the one subject we really wanted to talk about. So the week later I get a letter from her saying she had been out in a forest and came across the old stone bridge over a stream in a clearing and felt it was really cool. She described it in the letter and it was identical to the one in my dream. Two weeks after that I get another letter telling me there had been a fire at her parent’s house luckily no one was injured or hurt. So considering snail mail from the backend of Ohio (the place she lived didn’t even exist on any map I looked at back then) the fire would have happened within a day or two either side of my dream.


Fast forward two or three years from the time of the fire. I move to Germany and still write but never get any responses so I move on. Fast forward again to about 4 years ago, we have the wonder of the Internet and I do a Google and find no trace of her, over the following year I do a few googles for the crack and nothing. I also never have a dream about wolves again.


Then 3 years ago I have a dream. I dream I’m in a house I don’t recognise and standing outside a child’s bedroom. I recognise the room but not the house. The chills is about 1 year old. Outside the windows of the room its night time, pitch dark though I know the house is in the suburbs, strange to know this when I don’t know the house. Outside the house there is what I can only describe as demons trying to get in. I say demons not because I know what they look like, but in my youth played games like dungeons and dragons or warhammer and the demons resemble the images used in these types of books. The demons try to get in and I start to what I can only describe as growl at them. Then I notice one shadow approach me from behind and it rests on my shoulder; it’s a crow. I approach the window and the demons back off. I have this dream a number of times over the following weeks, the same every day. The stopped one night mid sequence, It was at the point where the crow landed on my shoulder, instead of approaching I saw a white flash and my father embraced me. He hugged me and kissed me. I felt and overpowering sense of love. I never had that dream again nor do I know where that house is because it resembles no house I’ve ever been in. but I did find out who that child may have been. a friend I worked with was going through some trouble with her then live in boyfriend, she knew I had friends in the legal profession so came to me for advice, we got talking about how her BF decided a trip to Ibiza with the lads was more important than his daughters first birthday. I gave her some second hand legal advice and during the course of the conversation she showed me a photo of her baby, or should I say the baby; the one from the dream. I left that job soon after that and never saw either of them again.

A few months later I wake about 4 am after having a dream again I dream I’m sitting on that stone bridge again with a wolf walking about the parameter of the clearing. Now I hadn’t had this dream in over 10 years so you can imagine my befuddlement when I get up the next day, especially when I never remember my dreams, the only difference is that I’m left with a feeling that I need to search for my friend from Ohio, only for some reason I have this feeling that I must not give up. So I get to the office and hit the google button and nothing. an hour later I revisit it because I have this feeling that I must continue and bang within 5 minutes I have a new name (she got married), photos and a current email address. 1 day later a reply to my email (where I hoped I didn’t appear to be a stalker).

Now the intervening 10 to 12 years since I had moved to Germany I don’t recall having any dreams of wolves though did still have a great like for them. I feel they are magnificent animals and love collecting pictures of them and have looked into some of the Native American mythology surrounding them. My first memory of dreaming about one was that night about 3 years ago. That being the second time I had dreamt of one.

Take another short hop forward, about 6 – 8 months after I make contact with my old pen pal. We had been in constant contact emailing almost every second week catching up on the last 10 years and remembering how awkward we were. Then I hear nothing for a month or two. again I dream, this time it’s not me running through the woods it’s a young girl, that girl is the image of my friend only has jet black hair hair, my friend is blonde, her two daughters are also fair haired. yet this girl is the image of her daughter and her (both bear a striking resemblance to each other so much so you would think it is a picture of my friend as a child). The child runs into the clearing the ridge is there and the child falls. This time the wolf approaches and doesn’t stay on the edge of the clearing its sits with her as if protecting her. I get an email a few days later saying my friends husband was taken to hospital for an operation, basically two months prior he had been complaining about dizziness and headache and wet to the doctor, a couple of scans later and they see a growth and operated. The night of the dream was the day of the operation. Why did I mention the child’s hair colour? I don’t know because in the dream it seemed significant. She’s blond in fact the whole family are apart from the father, he has jet black hair.

Nearly finished I promise. Move on to about 4 months ago I dream of a wolf in a forest again, only this time it’s not chasing me its beside me. I’m going through some rough times and am ill. I’ve been experiencing sensory deprivation like blurred vision, or hearing loss and then on occasion sensory overload where I can’t sit in a room of people holding a normal conversation as its deafening and I feel like my ears will bleed. I also get disorientation fatigued and some other symptoms. After 2 months of this I visit my GP who gets a load of blood tests done, all my symptoms are linked to a significant vitamin B12 deficiency so I’m on medication fore the next 6 months for it.



The significance of the crow is strange as they are associated with death and passing on. Native American lore depicts them as tricksters but also as a guiding the dead to the next realm. I have no idea about the significance or of that of my father and don’t really think about it much. Maybe there was something about this person in work that could have been trouble for me (the trickster) and my father was protecting me maybe my growling as a wolf was me trying to subconsciously protect myself from these demons. I don’t know. Because at no time in waking live did I feel threatened or troubled I wasn’t facing any known problems but I do know that shortly after I decided to look for work and moved jobs which surprise everyone my wife included.

My father died peacefully and I have no feelings that he was never at rest from that day. He died in my arms looking into my eyes. He had been on a morphine drip for two days but right at that moment he became very clear and asked me to promise to look after my mother. He then took his last breath and died. I have never felt his presence since his death except that one time and it was so real it was like an explosion with him at the centre of it.

so has anyone else experiences anything like this where they have felt a link to an animal and as if that animal was there to assist then through rough times or warn them of some hardship for them or there friends or family? and yes i probably do need professional help

fifilarue

That is the wildest thing I have read in a long time. And maybe the most beautiful. Embrace the wolf.

dade

thanks i appreciate your comment

Nevyn

I too have an affinity to both crow and wolf.

dade

Thaedydal wrote: »

I too have an affinity to both crow and wolf.

ok can i ask how you approach it. I want to know more and try embrace this in some way. though i recognise the Crow as what some say is the trickster or messenger of death I also know that he is a guide. and i feel that side of the crow more than any other. I know when my father died i would often think of the crow or spend time watching them if i say them in the street or a field. i also often thought of having a tattoo of one around that time. thought obviously could have been my way of dealing with grief, but i doubt it. my father died in my arms, he made me make him a promise on his death bed and i did and have tried to keep that promise as best i can. but i have always felt my father was at peace in those moments. on the day he dies the house was full of people and there would be going in and out to him checking on him. when most left my uncle went in to him and came out two minutes later and asked me and my mother to go to my father and he went to get the rest of my brothers. he said my father asked for me. two minutes later i made my promise and my father died. yet in those i could feel him let go as if he was finally free and at peace. so i do not think the crow has anything to do with my fathers death or spirit, maybe its trying to tell me that he has passed on.

to me it's obvious that the wolf and i are linked someway, at times when those close to me are in need of help or have problems in their life he seems to come to me in a dream and it's always the same dream, at other times like now when my wife is ill i don't dream. is this because i am in some what rejecting or blocking him without knowing it? or is it because i don';t need his help because the problem is minor and he will come when i need him?

I have taken some minor steps you could say to embrace the wolf well i consider them steps but what do i know LOL. I have painting hanging in the house as you walk in the hall door of a wolk howling at night in a forest. it was a gift from my wife, my PC backgrounds in work and at home all have backgrounds of a wolf. I'm also considering a second tattoo, my first is a gryphon from the book of kells, the symbol of St Mark from the table of Eusebius cannons in the Book of kells) are there any other ways or methods? I'm thinking maybe meditation though it may be hard to achieve coz I've never actually done it before. I'm also considering going back to my teenage years again, I use to train heavily in martial arts as a teenager (4-5 times a week). it kept me centred and controlled a lot of my inner anger, thought me respect for others and self discipline and self control. I also cant help but see the similarities in that martial arts is a sport that though can be team based in sparring relies heavily on individual performance which suits my personality. I have always felt that i could not rely on others and if you want it done right do it your self sort of thing.

liah

Every loner fancies themselves a wolf or likes wolves, or so I've noticed.

To be honest it's a bit of crap mainly because there's rarely such a thing as a lone wolf, they're pack animals, the only reason one would ever be on its own is if it was exiled from one pack and was moving on to find/form another-- they're never alone for very long unless they've gone off to die.

It's a nice thought, wolves are cool animals, but I wouldn't be looking into it nearly as deeply as yourself. Seems you're trying too hard to read into things that aren't there, especially if you're going off a few dreams. If you remembered all your other dreams I'm sure you could make the same assumptions and find a lot of coincidences from something out of them, too.

Still, quite a nice story nonetheless.

dade

liah wrote: »

To be honest it's a bit of crap mainly because there's rarely such a thing as a lone wolf, they're pack animals, the only reason one would ever be on its own is if it was exiled from one pack and was moving on to find/form another-- they're never alone for very long unless they've gone off to die..

agreed, wolves are pack animals yet are still portrayed as loners. but they are also portrayed as fiercely loyal i have few friends bit i am loyal to them all and would help them all out in any way i can so maybe this is the link , who knows.

liah wrote: »

Seems you're trying too hard to read into things that aren't there, especially if you're going off a few dreams. If you remembered all your other dreams I'm sure you could make the same assumptions and find a lot of coincidences from something out of them, too.

.

but that's my whole point i never remember my dreams. why would i remember only these specific ones? I'm 35 years old and of all the dreams i may have had in my short time here these are the only ones i remember. i mean i wake and there's feelings that i had a dream but i never remember them it's just a vague recollection of some image process happening while i slept. but with these ones they remain crystal clear when i wake and even months or years later they remain clear also the fact that they are almost identical to me holds some meaning. what i don't know maybe I'm just messed up and yea i am going off only a few dreams, 4 maybe 5 at most in a 15-20 years span but each time they occure around a time of some significance to me or my firnds and family

what i do no is that I think they are beautiful animals, when in the zoo i always head to the location that they are and spend as much time there as possible and when i have to move on it's with regret.

liah

I never remember my dreams, either, but I remembered one about a zombie apocalypse, does that mean it has any particular significance?

Nevyn

dade wrote: »

agreed, wolves are pack animals yet are still portrayed as loners. but they are also portrayed as fiercely loyal i have few friends bit i am loyal to them all and would help them all out in any way i can so maybe this is the link , who knows.

I find those with a connection/affiliation to the wolf spirit forum their own packs.

dade wrote: »

but that's my whole point i never remember my dreams. why would i remember only these specific ones? I'm 35 years old and of all the dreams i may have had in my short time here these are the only ones i remember. i mean i wake and there's feelings that i had a dream but i never remember them it's just a vague recollection of some image process happening while i slept. but with these ones they remain crystal clear when i wake and even months or years later they remain clear also the fact that they are almost identical to me holds some meaning. what i don't know maybe I'm just messed up and yea i am going off only a few dreams, 4 maybe 5 at most in a 15-20 years span but each time they occure around a time of some significance to me or my firnds and family

Some times dreams/vision/message are that way, you have to figure out that they mean to you.

dade wrote: »

what i do no is that I think they are beautiful animals, when in the zoo i always head to the location that they are and spend as much time there as possible and when i have to move on it's with regret.

You too?

I would suggest that you read as much as you can about the different types and dynamics a lot what is out there in pop phyce is wrong and out dated tbh.

And I really don't know where you get the whole crow = joker thing.
That would not be an irish/gael take on it.

There is an awful lot out there in terms of new age claptrap to be perfectly honest with you and you need to go with your instincts and find your cultural context.

dade

Thaedydal wrote: »

You too?.

yeah i thought it strange that i would be like that, i mean i went to Dublin zoo with the kids before and went straight up and the place was empty not a wolf in sight and i was disappointed. one other time i practically had to be dragged away LOL. friend think it strange that i have wolf pictures on my PCs and stuff an that i asked for a wolf painting to xmas. i don't i see nothing wrong with it. in fact it feel right to me.

Thaedydal wrote: »

I would suggest that you read as much as you can about the different types and dynamics a lot what is out there in pop phyce is wrong and out dated tbh.?.

that i think is the difficulty to separate the crap from the nuggets of gold.

Thaedydal wrote: »

And I really don't know where you get the whole crow = joker thing.
That would not be an irish/gael take on it..

no it's not. can't remember which culture it's from, may be part native American culture. Crow is suppose to have two meanings from what i read on is to be a guide that leads the deceased to the land of the dead i could be mixing it up with Raven though but i think they're both similar. obviously there's the James O'Barr comic book and movies that link it to death but that's the pop culture you mentioned.

i remember reading that crow was considered a trickster too. in this review of a book it mentions that many cultures consider them thieves, liars and tricksters and some cultures hold corvids in reverence and to kill one brings bad luck

Oryx

I know nothing of totem animals, but my (simplistic) idea about it would be, that for whatever reason, a wolf resonates with you. And 'they/it'* use that to access your subconcious and concious thinking in order to make you pay attention to something you need to know. With someone else, it could well be a robin or the number 11. Its what makes you access that higher part of yourself.

*I'm deliberately leaving your understanding of they/it to you, as your take on what it is will differ from mine.

dade

Oryx your view is similar to my view of an animal totem or spirit guide. the person is for some reason has a link to that animal and it often conveys messages or warnings to that person. But from my readings its is the animal that picks the person and not the other way around.

the only two animals i ever recall dreaming of are wolf and crow, but i only dreamt of crow once and that was in the same dream with Demons and wolf. or should i say i portrayed wolf by growling etc and crow was behind me. i was not in a good place in my head at that time so I'm thinking the presence of crow could be related to the trickster aspect of that spirit, also the crow was behind me not beside me. in my dreams only that one time has the wolf ever been aggressive at all other times it was passive as if watching and now that i think more of it wanting me to approach him.

definitely something i need to look deeper into. so if anyone knows of any descent sources of info on the general topic or on the specific totem PM me or post here I'd appreciate it a lot.

Oryx

If you believe the animal chooses you, then the question you need to ask in your thinking on this, is why a wolf chose you. Ask him.

I have a book and cards on animal medicine/totems(?). I was given them but never used them much. Now might be a good time to have a look.

dade

ok well last night some stuff happened. those of you that look over on work and jobs will see a rather long thread i started about an ongoing issue and yesterday it came to a head again. and i was very agitated all day, but on the bus home i felt as if wolf was behind me elevated, as if he was above the back of my head watching like a sentry.

so i got home and i tried meditation. when i said tried I'm not 100% on how to do it, i remember in high school our religion teacher was whey we would have refereed to as a hippy, he had the shaggy beard long hair and wore sandals, and no it wasn't Jesus, his name was Gleason if i remember right. anyway he tried to teach us to meditate. so i tried recalling his techniques where you start at the toes and make them relax and work up the body to your head.

so anyway i lay on the bed and closed my eyes and tried to relax, i felt myself relaxing from my feet to my head but before my shoulders/head were relaxed i saw myself being attacked by wolf. it's hard to explain i was conscious of the traffic outside the house but also felt that wolf was ripping my throat out. in my head i screamed for him to stop and he did. and just walked around me, i asked why he attacked and he said he was there to teach me. I know this sounds strange but when he said teach i got the impression of guide and not teach as in teach me a lesson now it may have just been my over active imagination etc but anyway i said ok i want to learn and he walked up and nuzzled into me. then i saw more wolves circling in the trees and he ran off to them and said that he would come back to me again when needed.

like i said this could all have been just my imagination playing tricks in the sense that I went home with the intention of making contact and wanted it to be successful on the first attempt. so maybe i was just imagining the whole event almost as if i was scenario playing in my head, but i don't know maybe i just need to start padding the walls in the bedroom and call the men in white coats.

Oryx

You were thinking of wolves all day yesterday, and you had some real world stress. So its understandable that the minute you quieten your mind, all that comes to the fore. And in meditation your own negativity can intrude, as in the attack you describe. If you can, while remaining in that state of mind, just tell yourself that you know these thoughts are your own stress coming out, and move them to one side. Or ask that they be moved for you if that works better.
The book i have describes the wolf as having a strong sense of family but with an individualistic urge. Keen senses and a need for knowledge and wisdom. The wolf also indicates someone who should seek their teacher within and who can teach or share knowledge. A wolf would not appear unless you requested teaching..
I dunno.. That may confuse you even more, but i give it to you anyway.

dade

sure it can't hurt to try can it. I hear what you're saying about last night that's why I'm saying it was my imagination as you say it was in my mind all day so i am sceptical as to the occurrence being a real connection as such. maybe when things calm down a bit I'll try again.

any chance you could PM me taht name of that book might be worth a read

fifilarue

I read what you wrote when I got into work this morning and couldn't really stop thinking about it. I hope you will not be offended if I say that your description of what went on was so intense, it was almost disturbing. On the one hand, I agree with Oryx, who seems to be saying take a deep breath and relax and that you have the ability to control your thoughts and imagination, should you wish to do so. On the other, I wonder if, instead of rushing to make a connection with the wolf or whatever it represents through meditation, that you just leave it, accept it for what it is. After all, it found you. I am sure that most people would be glad to have something as powerful as a wolf on their side. I know I would.

dade

yeah he found me I'm not so much as rushing to a connection though it sure does look that way, I'm more intrigued as to why he may have found me if you follow. Maybe you are right though may it is best to wait and see if anything is revealed instead of forcing the matter

fifilarue

I have experienced something similar to you, which is why your post caught my eye yesterday. I had an experience when I was very young, which has re-visited me at certain times in my life. I can't explain it, I don't even want to know why. It's just something that is, if you know what I mean. The logical side of me tells me that it is some kind of safety thing in my head-I like the animal in question anyhow and have done since I was a child (a fox-handy as it's a native species and easier to spot than a wolf!), so at times when I felt afraid or threatened, it appeared-either physically or in my dreams- and I felt forewarned, almost protected and my bad feelings to some extent dissipated. Maybe the mighty weapon that is our brain tries to make things easier for us by creating these safety nets, when all we are doing is looking to make things more difficult. I dunno.

Soulja boy

My animal totem/fursona is the Candirú fish

fifilarue

Fursona? I've heard it all now.

Oryx

As agreed with op, moving from Paranormal to Spirituality.