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Body Image
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GirlInterrupted wrote: »
The real question in my mind is how does this happen? What sparks the worry that ends with obsession? How can it change? Mostly I wonder how anyone can feel lessened because their thighs are less than perfect. What you look like isn't who you are, and to be imperfect is to be human.
For me, it was largely due to my parents tbh. I remember being about 7 years old and my dad telling me I was fat. I was always a bit pudgy, but my parents were obsessed with my weight, regularly telling me that I was fat from as early as I can remember. My dad because he's extraordinarily critical, and my mum because of her preoccupation with her own weight. My mum still tells me that if I lost weight my boyfriend would love me more. That sounds shocking, but she does mean well. She just doesn't realise how much damage saying things like that does, she thinks she's just helping. Her obsession with being thin has now become mine - but I've also inherited her emotional eating habits.
But well done you for being happy with yourself, that's something most women will strive their whole lives for!
Deleted User wrote: »I'd say a size 10 would be average in that age range?
Really? When I look around, I'd be surprised if the average was actually below a 12 at least.0 -
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I'm better than I used to be, but I'm still not totally happy. However there'll always be something that's not perfect, no matter how much weight I lose, how toned I become. I would always find a problem with something - the most stupid thing, of course. And I think most people are the same. It's impossible (nearly, anyway) to be 100% confident about your body 100% of the time. Eating better and taking up a martial art (the second one more so) have been the best things that have happened to me. I probably don't weigh a whole lot less than I did a couple of years ago - back then I weighed myself on a regular basis, now if you asked me, I genuinely wouldn't have a clue - but I'm much happier with my body shape, tone.. everything. Yes, there are days that I feel horribly fat, weeks even. I'm far more confident about myself now though than I was a few years back and those days are getting fewer. It's taken a lot of effort to bring myself around to seeing myself in a better light, but it's happening slowly but surely! Still can't accept a compliment though about my body though.. that's my main thing. I always failed with compliments anyway! :P
/end rambling0 -
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For my height, I'm slightly underweight, but I'm not very fit at all.
Some days, like most people here, I get fat days, when I look in the mirror and my tummy is sticking out like I'm pregnant and my ass seems way too fat for my body. These days, I wont wear tight tops, and will suck in my tummy as much as possible.
Then somedays I'm rather happy, and shocked at how much thinner I look.
I think the main problem is periods and bloating
I also plan on getting fit (I say that every day).
Also, my nose is horrible from a side view i think, it's not like those perfect little button noses, it's more straight and unfeminine. Yet I don't mind my face from the front.0 -
Hated my physical self for years and did really, really stupid things like vomiting and starving myself. I've been every size between 10 and 20 and mostly miserable for all of that time. I measured my worth in terms of poundage. I was eternally at war with myself, my weight was on my mind constantly and lots of the time it did stop me from doing the things I would have liked to have done.
I try not to live like that anymore, I do have days where I think the mirror is out to get me
but I'm not letting myself get wrapped up in the negative thoughts the way I used to. Thats the hardest part actually, trying to rewire my thinking and look at my body issues differently rather than using them as an excuse to self-flagellate.
It can be bloody hard work though. 0 -
I'm happy with my body, I'm a size 14 at the minute and would describe myself as curvy. In my teens I was a size 10-12 but I can honestly say I've always been happy enough with my body, even as I got older and it started to change. Of course I have my bad days but I think we should be thankful for what we've got - on the bad days I sometimes think how lucky I am to be healthy and alive and then any body issues seem silly. I think a lot of it depends on the clothes you wear - you've got to accentuate your best bits and dress properly - and when you feel confident on the inside it shows on the outside 0
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GirlInterrupted wrote: »I posted a reply on the first page of this thread, but I deleted it when I saw the other replies. I was afraid I'd appear conceited.
I'm happy with myself, grateful I'm put together the way I am. I've a couple of scars on my back, but other than that there's nothing I'd change. Actually, I wouldn't even bother changing those.
Reading about the self-loathing that goes on with so many has left me feeling really sad. I can't imagine an existence where weighing yourself several times a day feels normal. I know how much I weigh when my doctor mentions it.
The real question in my mind is how does this happen? What sparks the worry that ends with obsession? How can it change? Mostly I wonder how anyone can feel lessened because their thighs are less than perfect. What you look like isn't who you are, and to be imperfect is to be human.
Honestly not getting at you here Girlinterrupted. To find the answer to that question you would have to walk in the shoes of those people. 0 -
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Madame Razz wrote: »I've never had any issue with food, but I can safely say I have a pretty negative body image, an image which has disimproved with age.
I feel, quite frankly, disappointed everytime I look in the mirror; despite having a healthy BMI.
I'll never be tiny, as I don't have a small frame and am quite tall. But I definately feel that theres room for serious improvement.
Improvement gets harder and harder to achieve as I get older tho:rolleyes:
I turned 40 a while back and can relate to what your saying. For me watching what i eat a little more than i used to is important, also 4 trips to the gym per week for aerobics has really worked wonders for me, and i never let food "settle" , out for a good walk half an hour after dinner .
I would say the above has improved my mental self/outlook on life. we all grow old but theres no need to" live" old , not bloody yet. 0 -
I turned 40 a while back and can relate to what your saying. For me watching what i eat a little more than i used to is important, also 4 trips to the gym per week for aerobics has really worked wonders for me, and i never let food "settle" , out for a good walk half an hour after dinner .
I would say the above has improved my mental self/outlook on life. we all grow old but theres no need to" live" old , not bloody yet.
Oh I agree. I just resent the fact that my body doesnt react as well or as quickly to such healthy habits anymore:rolleyes:0 -
Madame Razz wrote: »Oh I agree. I just resent the fact that my body doesnt react as well or as quickly to such healthy habits anymore:rolleyes:
Things do slow down alright. For me though, Im running to 50, and if the legs will comply , then its on to 60. yep, crazy bitch but i dont care, feeling fit and healthy is fab. 0 -
I dont stress out too much about my body but I wouldnt say I've a great self image either.
Was out with friends at the weekend and when they were chatted up, I presumed it was because I was less attractive. When I was chatted up, I presumed it was because I was less attractive. Ok it may have been true in both instances but I need to cop myself on and stop thinking like that in the first place.
I was feeling really bleugh today and a friend/colleague emailed me to say I looked lovely which was really nice though 0 -
winking weber wrote: »I dont stress out too much about my body but I wouldnt say I've a great self image either.
Was out with friends at the weekend and when they were chatted up, I presumed it was because I was less attractive. When I was chatted up, I presumed it was because I was less attractive. Ok it may have been true in both instances but I need to cop myself on and stop thinking like that in the first place.
I was feeling really bleugh today and a friend/colleague emailed me to say I looked lovely which was really nice though
Sometimes we can be too self critical when it comes to how we "look" .
I would build on what your friend said about you . Think back to those negative thoughts you had at the weekend and laugh them away. There is a book you can buy called " The Little Book Of Confidence" in Easons .
I found it inexpensive and invaluable. 0 -
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ok well i know that i am overweight and i want to fit it for health reasons rather than to be skinny... I was 15+stone and was happy.
I used to have a big problem with weight when i was younger which ment i couldnt put on any weight and was at 1 point under 7 stone but i was really unhappy with being skinny. I always wanted to be bigger.
So to be healthy I have to loose 2 stone i am currently 12 and a half stone. my doctor wants me to be 8-9 stone but now way am i going back to skin and bones....
So i guess we all have issues either too skinny too fat ect....
If your into it i would go for aerobic fitness . an hours walk a day after your main meal will start to burn off calories and you dont have to go to "skin and bones" . How about meeting the doc half way and lose one stone .
Ask one of your friends to join you on the walks and you can get in a good natter as well. 0 -
Here is a theory ive been thinking about for some time:
Man are naturally square shaped- flat chested and straight down with no curve to the hips. Heterosexual women are instinctively attracted to the square shape of the male species.
Women are naturally round shaped- round chested, round hips, round bottom. Heterosexual men are instinctively attracted to the round shape of the female species.
Alot of the women on here are saying that they are continiously comparing themselves to other women. It seems a womans body image issues could stem from judgement recieved from other women/women targeted media/womens magazines etc
Although we have a coherence that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom- we are essentially animals.
In the wild- the female will try to mate with a man thats as high up in the pack as possibel (i.e the best provider). Men will try to mate with the most fertile female to re-produce. (the most "attractive"- this is where "child bearing hips" comes from as apparently the wider the hips, the more fertile one is)
In the wild, women have to compete for the alpha male. It is within our nature to be competitive with each other. But society has changed where technically we no longer have to compete because we no longer run in a pack. But our nature cannot change over night, so women are still competing. (similar to how men front each other and act like the tough guy)
Do you think the obsession with being "skinny" is women trying to be attractive to other women, in the sense that we are worrying what other women are thinking about us? Has our nature to compete for a male become a bit twisted because we no longer have to compete for a male but still continue to have the instinct of competition?
Look at the size zero fiasco. These women are on the cover of womens magazines- men are not buying these magazines; women are. Are these size zero's shrinking to be as male-like in their figure so that all the women in the world will think they're attractive?
For example, now that our brains are cognitive and humans are essentially more attracted to personality for a mate than the size of their hips or chest- are women now confused about what they should look like now that what makes us attractive has changed?
Hmmmm... i wonder...
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Here is a theory ive been thinking about for some time:
Man are naturally square shaped- flat chested and straight down with no curve to the hips. Heterosexual women are instinctively attracted to the square shape of the male species.
Women are naturally round shaped- round chested, round hips, round bottom. Heterosexual men are instinctively attracted to the round shape of the female species.
Alot of the women on here are saying that they are continiously comparing themselves to other women. It seems a womans body image issues could stem from judgement recieved from other women/women targeted media/womens magazines etc
Although we have a coherence that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom- we are essentially animals.
In the wild- the female will try to mate with a man thats as high up in the pack as possibel (i.e the best provider). Men will try to mate with the most fertile female to re-produce. (the most "attractive"- this is where "child bearing hips" comes from as apparently the wider the hips, the more fertile one is)
In the wild, women have to compete for the alpha male. It is within our nature to be competitive with each other. But society has changed where technically we no longer have to compete because we no longer run in a pack. But our nature cannot change over night, so women are still competing. (similar to how men front each other and act like the tough guy)
Do you think the obsession with being "skinny" is women trying to be attractive to other women, in the sense that we are worrying what other women are thinking about us? Has our nature to compete for a male become a bit twisted because we no longer have to compete for a male but still continue to have the instinct of competition?
Look at the size zero fiasco. These women are on the cover of womens magazines- men are not buying these magazines; women are. Are these size zero's shrinking to be as male-like in their figure so that all the women in the world will think they're attractive?
For example, now that our brains are cognitive and humans are essentially more attracted to personality for a mate than the size of their hips or chest- are women now confused about what they should look like now that what makes us attractive has changed?
Hmmmm... i wonder...
laura Loo, what your saying there is fantastic and so true. I could not agree with you more. I would go as far as saying there is an abuse of women today on that theme. competing with one another for a guy is one thing but when fashion trends are used almost as a weapon and a large number of women are terribly effected by same it annoys me /sorry, ENRAGES me !!!!. I am reading off the same page as you but could never share same as eloquently and as informatively as you. please keep opining re. same as life is about enjoy, not wall to wall competition. fair play to you and i hope you dont think Im a nutter , I just feel so strongly re. what you said. 0 -
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In the wild- the female will try to mate with a man thats as high up in the pack as possibel (i.e the best provider). Men will try to mate with the most fertile female to re-produce. (the most "attractive"- this is where "child bearing hips" comes from as apparently the wider the hips, the more fertile one is)
In the wild, women have to compete for the alpha male. It is within our nature to be competitive with each other. But society has changed where technically we no longer have to compete because we no longer run in a pack. But our nature cannot change over night, so women are still competing. (similar to how men front each other and act like the tough guy)
Unfortunately, it's not that simple for humans though! There is pair-bonding with occasional polygamy so there's still competition but also great potential for cheating by men and cuckoldry by women.Do you think the obsession with being "skinny" is women trying to be attractive to other women, in the sense that we are worrying what other women are thinking about us? Has our nature to compete for a male become a bit twisted because we no longer have to compete for a male but still continue to have the instinct of competition?
I think it probably is a symbol of status. If you are thin in a world full of plenty of food then maybe it is an indicator that you are healthy. Or manage your lifestyle. Then, as long as it is found attractive by the majority, sexual selection will continue the trend. Over-simplified, but in a nutshell.Look at the size zero fiasco. These women are on the cover of womens magazines- men are not buying these magazines; women are. Are these size zero's shrinking to be as male-like in their figure so that all the women in the world will think they're attractive?
For example, now that our brains are cognitive and humans are essentially more attracted to personality for a mate than the size of their hips or chest- are women now confused about what they should look like now that what makes us attractive has changed?
Hmmmm... i wonder...
I don't think so, because it's not something that's conscious and also for natural selection to work, it doesn't really matter what other women think. Size zero is probably best explained by out-of-control sexual selection in one direction. I don't know, but there are LOTS of theories out there. It's an interesting topic.0
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