Body Image

Jood

I'm fairly comfortable with my body, I'm 5ft2 and a size 12/14. I'm on the curvy side to say the least but isnt that the way us girlies are meant to be! Thats not to say that I dont get a fat day or ugly day but I think thats more down to my mood then my actual figure.

SeekUp

valery wrote: »

laura Loo, what your saying there is fantastic and so true. I could not agree with you more. I would go as far as saying there is an abuse of women today on that theme. competing with one another for a guy is one thing but when fashion trends are used almost as a weapon and a large number of women are terribly effected by same it annoys me /sorry, ENRAGES me !!!!

I agree, it sucks. But to say that it's an abuse of women . . . I mean, just in this thread alone, we've gone so far as to say that we're enabers to the whole phenomenon -- by looking at/judging other women, by striving for this "ideal," by buying the magazines with the unrealistic covers and trying the extreme diets, by saying harmful words to our daughters and passing on our insecurities. We may not have lit the match, but we fuel the fire nonetheless.

valery

SeekUp wrote: »

I agree, it sucks. But to say that it's an abuse of women . . . I mean, just in this thread alone, we've gone so far as to say that we're enabers to the whole phenomenon -- by looking at/judging other women, by striving for this "ideal," by buying the magazines with the unrealistic covers and trying the extreme diets, by saying harmful words to our daughters and passing on our insecurities. We may not have lit the match, but we fuel the fire nonetheless.

Im leaving myself open to being shredded here . but I still believe the fashion industry has a lot to answer for portraying women as perfect specimens of the female form when what we are looking at is skelatons drapped in skin walking down catwalks. young girls are looking at this and starving themselves half to death to resemble same . all this to fit into
no more than childrens size clothes because same clothes are "the latest thing", some people will say we have a choice but the world knows women are fashion conscious and will sometimes sacrafice almost anything to look good , I know as I have been there. just to finish i believe there is too much pressure on young women today .:)

SeekUp

I'm not saying there isn't pressure, of course there is! And there are so many people to answer for it -- everyone from fashion houses to advertisers to producers to journalists . . . the "blame list" goes on and on and on. But as somewhat informed adults, we should at least have some awareness of what we're buying into. If we stopped buying into what they promote, they'd be forced to change things. At the very least, we reinforce the message to our daughters and younger sisters when we tell them they'd look better without that extra five pounds, and that boys will like them if they stay skinny. Girls may see all of these images projected on them, and that's a lot to deal with, but if they are surrounded by women who promote a healthy self-image and confidence, then they learn from that as well.

Easier said than done, no doubt! It's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see when you're told that what you're looking at isn't good enough. But we have to start somewhere.

(See? No shredding. )

valery

SeekUp wrote: »

I'm not saying there isn't pressure, of course there is! And there are so many people to answer for it -- everyone from fashion houses to advertisers to producers to journalists . . . the "blame list" goes on and on and on. But as somewhat informed adults, we should at least have some awareness of what we're buying into. If we stopped buying into what they promote, they'd be forced to change things. At the very least, we reinforce the message to our daughters and younger sisters when we tell them they'd look better without that extra five pounds, and that boys will like them if they stay skinny. Girls may see all of these images projected on them, and that's a lot to deal with, but if they are surrounded by women who promote a healthy self-image and confidence, then they learn from that as well.

Easier said than done, no doubt! It's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see when you're told that what you're looking at isn't good enough. But we have to start somewhere.

(See? No shredding. )

Thanks for your input Seek Up , the more of us talk in a sensible way re. same the less (hopefully) damage to younger women. ya know what ?? think Im developing a Feminist attitude in me old age. ah, keep him indoors on his toes for the next ten years or so ha ha ha

minidazzler

These supermodels ye see in magazines are actually aimed at women. That is generally not the type men are attracted to. take this example.

Who is better looking to men in these pictures. I won't http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2009/03/evaherzigovaSPLASH_450x499.jpg

This is Poppy Morgan a Pornstar.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f5/Poppy_Morgan_2.jpg/200px-Poppy_Morgan_2.jpg

Which one of these is aimed at men, and which one at women.

Personally I think Poppy Morgan is gorgeous. The supermodel not so much, to thin not particularily attractive.

My point is that supermodels are what Magazines want you to envy, and alot of women fall for this size 0 bull.

Alot of ye have posted pics in the KYL thread, and without trying to sound letchy(even though it undoubtedly will), ye are a quite attractive bunch.

Any problems with ye're Body image is likely from looking at the wrong role models.

I think my point may have gotten lost, but it took me a while to find the correct images so I am gonna throw it up anyway!:D

valery

minidazzler wrote: »

These supermodels ye see in magazines are actually aimed at women. That is generally not the type men are attracted to. take this example.

Who is better looking to men in these pictures. I won't http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2009/03/evaherzigovaSPLASH_450x499.jpg

This is Poppy Morgan a Pornstar.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f5/Poppy_Morgan_2.jpg/200px-Poppy_Morgan_2.jpg

Which one of these is aimed at men, and which one at women.

Personally I think Poppy Morgan is gorgeous. The supermodel not so much, to thin not particularily attractive.

My point is that supermodels are what Magazines want you to envy, and alot of women fall for this size 0 bull.

Alot of ye have posted pics in the KYL thread, and without trying to sound letchy(even though it undoubtedly will), ye are a quite attractive bunch.

Any problems with ye're Body image is likely from looking at the wrong role models.

I think my point may have gotten lost, but it took me a while to find the correct images so I am gonna throw it up anyway!:D

with you there Mindazzler, its the psychological and physical damage being done to young women. And at a time when they should be having so much fun. Its only a further few years down the rd. when women are in long term relationships (marriage etc.) and being constantly asked , are you pregnant yet ?? . Its no wonder our bodies age so early. Gets me so angry.

Malari

minidazzler wrote: »

These supermodels ye see in magazines are actually aimed at women. That is generally not the type men are attracted to. take this example.

Who is better looking to men in these pictures. I won't http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2009/03/evaherzigovaSPLASH_450x499.jpg

This is Poppy Morgan a Pornstar.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f5/Poppy_Morgan_2.jpg/200px-Poppy_Morgan_2.jpg

Which one of these is aimed at men, and which one at women.

Personally I think Poppy Morgan is gorgeous. The supermodel not so much, to thin not particularily attractive.

My point is that supermodels are what Magazines want you to envy, and alot of women fall for this size 0 bull.

Alot of ye have posted pics in the KYL thread, and without trying to sound letchy(even though it undoubtedly will), ye are a quite attractive bunch.

Any problems with ye're Body image is likely from looking at the wrong role models.

I think my point may have gotten lost, but it took me a while to find the correct images so I am gonna throw it up anyway!:D

The first thing that I thought of with this comparison is that a supermodel (or a common or garden model) has a body that is maximised to make clothes look good. Generally she is wearing more than a bikini and underwear models tend to be a bit more "filled out". A model's arms and legs being skinny usually looks better in a top/skirt/pants/shirt/dress, whatever.

As for the pornstar, she is meant to look good naked, not with clothes on. Her body shape will be different if she is to be successful.

This is not a comment on how women should look, by the way, but for the chosen careers of these women, body shape is the only determinant.

madbev90210

I suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder, therefore my (not imagined) ugliness controls every aspect of my life

Thoughts of extensive surgery etc keep me going.. although ironically my looks prevent me from going out and getting money to have surgery I cant win against my crazy mind!!

valery

madbev90210 wrote: »

I suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder, therefore my (not imagined) ugliness controls every aspect of my life

Thoughts of extensive surgery etc keep me going.. although ironically my looks prevent me from going out and getting money to have surgery I cant win against my crazy mind!!

hi there madbey90210, you are so brave to say what you have, I hope you dont mind me saying but I am crying as i post this. Its so easy for me to say things will improve for you and hope this will make me feel better but it wont , there is however an avenue of hope you can (and Im begging you ) look to .
please go to your gp and ask him/her to assign you a councillor, both can make home visits by the way.Our social walfare system is there for you and you must get yourself into their system. Your mind is not crazy , its going through a bad patch , once you get things moving and I stress YOU ,
YOUR MIND WILL BECOME YOUR FRIEND , THATS BECAUSE YOU ARE STARTING TO TAKE CONTROLL OF YOUR OWN DESTINY. I am doing something about a problem i have so i know what Im talking about ( cant say what ...not as brave as you, hope you understand )..when we post threads to one another sometimes we add a smilie , I wont with this reply but I am asking you to smile. Dont put this off, please begin today. best of luck ....Valery.

tatabubbly

I'm 5 foot 4 a healthy 11 stone (i'm a curvy girl) but i still manage to look in the mirror and compare myself with my waif like best friend.

Lia_lia

minidazzler wrote: »

This is Eva Herzigova a Supermodel.
http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2009/03/evaherzigovaSPLASH_450x499.jpg

This is Poppy Morgan a Pornstar.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f5/Poppy_Morgan_2.jpg/200px-Poppy_Morgan_2.jpg

Huh, I don't think that pornstar girl looks attractive at all. Or am I suppose to?..

Faith

Lia_lia wrote: »

Huh, I don't think that pornstar girl looks attractive at all. Or am I suppose to?..

No, I didn't think she was attractive either.

This thread has really been playing on my mind over the past couple of days and made me realise just how negative my image of myself as a whole is. It's actually quite upsetting. I keep waiting for my boyfriend to wake up one day and realise that he's made a terrible mistake being with me, and dump me. Or that he'll look at me and see me how I see me, and dump me. I honestly can't imagine how he sees me.

I'm a firm believer that everybody would benefit hugely from some therapy at some point in their lives, as everybody has issues in one shape or form. Perhaps women with negative body images should be more actively encouraged to speak to a counsellor or therapist to try and overcome these issues?

valery

tatabubbly wrote: »

I'm 5 foot 4 a healthy 11 stone (i'm a curvy girl) but i still manage to look in the mirror and compare myself with my waif like best friend.

the supermodel looks ILL . the porn star looks healthy and sexy.

Lia_lia

I don't think the supermodel looks attractive either. She looks grand here though!

GirlInterrupted

Faith wrote: »

No, I didn't think she was attractive either.

This thread has really been playing on my mind over the past couple of days and made me realise just how negative my image of myself as a whole is. It's actually quite upsetting. I keep waiting for my boyfriend to wake up one day and realise that he's made a terrible mistake being with me, and dump me. Or that he'll look at me and see me how I see me, and dump me. I honestly can't imagine how he sees me.

And yet you know that logically he sees you more objectively than you do yourself, and loves what he sees.

valery

Lia_lia wrote: »

I don't think the supermodel looks attractive either. She looks grand here though!

She is a much healthier weight in the underwear add though. seems that way to me.

Faith

Faith wrote: »

I keep waiting for my boyfriend to wake up one day and realise that he's made a terrible mistake being with me, and dump me. Or that he'll look at me and see me how I see me, and dump me. I honestly can't imagine how he sees me.

This is how I feel, or something similar anyway, I feel that my husband, already finds me totally repulsive and wishes I looked more like a 'soccerette' or something to that effect (?affect?) even though he doesn't ever say anything to suggest that - the opposite infact - but I think he is telling white lies!!! When I'm thinking rationally it makes no sense - but I rarely think rationally :rolleyes:

Lia_lia

valery wrote: »

She is a much healthier weight in the underwear add though. seems that way to me.

Yes, it was taken about 15 years ago. Show's how things have changed I guess!

valery

Deleted User wrote: »

This is how I feel, or something similar anyway, I feel that my husband, already finds me totally repulsive and wishes I looked more like a 'soccerette' or something to that effect (?affect?) even though he doesn't ever say anything to suggest that - the opposite infact - but I think he is telling white lies!!! When I'm thinking rationally it makes no sense - but I rarely think rationally :rolleyes:

Im sorry , but I have a real problem when i hear or read of a woman who thinks in that way. There is so much I want to say on the theme but dont want to start an argument . You are a woman and a wife, you probably bared children, you have comforted your husband in ways no other could. you are beautiful you are invaluable you are perfect. please put yourself in that LAEGUE , if you dont you will telegraph all the negative self image stuff to all around you , you have a duty to yourself woman , please realise this......sorry for being so hard.

Wibbs

valery wrote: »

the supermodel looks ILL . the porn star looks healthy and sexy.

I agree. And OK this is IMHO I think the problem men on the outside of this have and don't get is that it's not so much about what men want or like at all. Your average man wants a pron star figure over a "supermodel" any day of the week. Hell there are more pron sites that look for bigger women than for skinny women. A helluva lot more. Don't ask. I'm a bloke. I'm a pervert. It's my job.....:D

It's more what is expected of and by women. The old joke about how do you answer your lovers question "does my bum look big in this?". You can't ever really give an answer as her lover, as IMHO it's not aimed at you for the most part.

Deep down in most cases the women know their lover likes, wants and desires them. It's more aimed at other women and her feelings of fitting in and competing with other women and with herself. Eevn if they doubt their lover its as much down to how they feel in comparison t other women as anything else.They may not trust their lovers answer as they may feel "ahh well he would say that wouldn't he". In a lot of cases anyway. Like was referred to earlier about competition among women, it is very strong. In this looks dept anyway.

Look at weddings or any black tie affair. Men are all dressed alike. It's the women who are under the most pressure. The men are props in a lot of ways. Same with someone arriving at a party in the same clothes. With two men? It would barely register and if it did it would be a laugh. With two women? in the same dress? Much bigger issue. Again because of the comparison. "Does she look better in it than me".

I think fashion and the meeedja plug into this in the pursuit of cash. Exploit a mostly slight tendency among women and make it far worse. Great for the fashion types and the diet types but not so good for women. Plus fashion is run by either women or gay men as far as trends go. They have little clue about what makes a woman sexy to a man. Though in fairness some really do. Anyway I digress..... If fashion was run by lesbian women or straight men I do think we would have a very different take on what women "should look like".

GirlInterrupted

Wibbs wrote: »

Same with someone arriving at a party in the same clothes. With two men? It would barely register and if it did it would be a laugh. With two women? in the same dress? Much bigger issue. Again because of the comparison. "Does she look better in it than me".

Happened me and another girl at a wedding. We both burst out laughing, had photo's taken together, and became good friends.

And she looked better in it.:)

minidazzler

Wibbs wrote: »

I agree. And OK this is IMHO I think the problem men on the outside of this have and don't get is that it's not so much about what men want or like at all. Your average man wants a pron star figure over a "supermodel" any day of the week. Hell there are more pron sites that look for bigger women than for skinny women. A helluva lot more. Don't ask. I'm a bloke. I'm a pervert. It's my job.....:D.

You're the S&S mod, you're allowed to call it research if you want, but you must do the shifty eyes.

So we're all in agreeance that alot of women don't see themselves when they look in the mirror? They see a distorted view of themselves for the most part that can be blamed on Some twats who present an unrealistic view of what women should look like.

madbev90210

Hey Valery, thank you for that lovely message and Im smiling at the moment
Tbh though I dont think my doctor believes me so I dont bother explaining it to her anymore! The hard thing about it is that people think having bdd is vain or selfish when its really not. Id never judge anyone by the standards I expect of myself and really love to see confident curvy women. Saying that, if someone is thin and confident, I love to see that too! As long as theres no extreme big headedness going on!

valery

madbev90210 wrote: »

Hey Valery, thank you for that lovely message and Im smiling at the moment
Tbh though I dont think my doctor believes me so I dont bother explaining it to her anymore! The hard thing about it is that people think having bdd is vain or selfish when its really not. Id never judge anyone by the standards I expect of myself and really love to see confident curvy women. Saying that, if someone is thin and confident, I love to see that too! As long as theres no extreme big headedness going on!

did me as much good. .sometimes life can give us a mountain to climb, thing is , if we attempt what seems difficult and succeed then the climb to the top of that mountain will be rewarded with a beautiful view . dont know if you listen to music. i sometimes do for inspiration , Run / by Snow Patrol inspires me cos it says to me there is always someone watching over me and as long as I never give in my day in the sun will arrive. and yours will too.

barochoc

As a guy I'm aware that I'm carrying a few extra pounds....

I'd say about 20-25Lbs to be honest. I'm lucky though, I'm just over 6Ft & I'm well built so I can get away with it, except my chin.

I'm so conscious of my chin that I grow a beard. It's normally short & neat but I can't look at myself without it as my head looks like a football.

I used to cycle everywhere when I was younger. I used to race on my bike too. I was so fit & lean that most my friends still comment about how good I used to look. This doesn't help either.

But everything seems to work as it should so I suppose I can't really complain for now. I just have to cut out some beers each week & maybe less chocolate

valery

barochoc wrote: »

As a guy I'm aware that I'm carrying a few extra pounds....

I'd say about 20-25Lbs to be honest. I'm lucky though, I'm just over 6Ft & I'm well built so I can get away with it, except my chin.

I'm so conscious of my chin that I grow a beard. It's normally short & neat but I can't look at myself without it as my head looks like a football.

I used to cycle everywhere when I was younger. I used to race on my bike too. I was so fit & lean that most my friends still comment about how good I used to look. This doesn't help either.

But everything seems to work as it should so I suppose I can't really complain for now. I just have to cut out some beers each week & maybe less chocolate

best of luck / beer and sweeties, detox with plenty of water. walk for an hour after dinner. works for my other half.

Fugly

I know I'll not be popular but I've been following this thread for a while and I just need to say something.

Firstly beauty is based on symmetry and health. Lets be honest if you see a woman who has both of these qualities, you'll struggle to call her ugly, she may not be sexually attractive to you, as everyone has their type.

On the flipside you may find someone sexually attractive they may be "ugly" (ducks for cover). As in unhealthy looking {either side of the scale as in to fat or too thin} and non symmetrical. I notice that irregardless of looks there can be an attitude of "of course your beautiful" even if they person is a complete mutt.

Puddleduck

Fugly wrote: »

I know I'll not be popular but I've been following this thread for a while and I just need to say something.

Firstly beauty is based on symmetry and health. Lets be honest if you see a woman who has both of these qualities, you'll struggle to call her ugly, she may not be sexually attractive to you, as everyone has their type.

On the flipside you may find someone sexually attractive they may be "ugly" (ducks for cover). As in unhealthy looking {either side of the scale as in to fat or too thin} and non symmetrical. I notice that irregardless of looks there can be an attitude of "of course your beautiful" even if they person is a complete mutt.

Beauty can be more than symmetry and health as you put it. This can be seen in quirky things you find attractive in the opposite sex thread. Plenty of people in there attracted to people that wear glasses or braces, which would be sign that the person that does not have perfect health. To define what beauty is in this day and age would be hard. So while someone may be a 'complete mutt' to you, to another they are beautiful.

Fugly

I know I agree that why I separated "beauty" and "attractiveness", I'm sorry I didn't make it clear. I believe there is a range of beauty we all generally agree on, and then personal choice is the subjective "attractiveness".

Just my view on beauty.