Body Image

valery

valery wrote: »

Im sorry , but I have a real problem when i hear or read of a woman who thinks in that way. There is so much I want to say on the theme but dont want to start an argument . You are a woman and a wife, you probably bared children, you have comforted your husband in ways no other could. you are beautiful you are invaluable you are perfect. please put yourself in that LAEGUE , if you dont you will telegraph all the negative self image stuff to all around you , you have a duty to yourself woman , please realise this......sorry for being so hard.

I don't know if you have ever felt this way about yourself, but unfortunately, for those who haven't, it's not something you can really comprehend. I don't wish to feel this way, and I know all of the good qualities I have too, I have a great personality and I am alot of fun, I am extremely kind and I get on well with everyone I meet. I am a great wife and a great mother. I make friends easily. I have been through things that most others could never deal with or understand, when people who don't know me find out the things I've been through they are totally stunned as they can't understand how I can be so happy and outwardly confident.

That's not what body image is about though, I know I'm a great person, but I wish I had the body to match, my husband never makes me feel anything less than beautiful, but it matters not what other people tell you or try to make you feel. It's how you feel about yourself, the only person who knows that I am unhappy with my body is my husband. As I said in my previous post noone would ever think of me as a negative person. However these things eat me up inside.

I would be only too delighted not to have the perfect body but not to care - believe me this is what I've wanted for years - to love myself as I am rather than wishing I was different.

Khannie

Wibbs wrote: »

Same with someone arriving at a party in the same clothes. With two men? It would barely register and if it did it would be a laugh. With two women? in the same dress? Much bigger issue. Again because of the comparison. "Does she look better in it than me".

Billy Connolly did a sketch about this:

For Women it's "BITCH!"
For Men it's "I'm fashionable"

Khannie

Khannie wrote: »

Billy Connolly did a sketch about this:

For Women it's "BITCH!"
For Men it's "I'm fashionable"

LOL - what ever happened to Billy Connolly?

You know, the whole, she's wearing the same thing as me thing I never really got, I suppose if someone looked sooo much hotter than me in the same thing then maybe I'd be kinda piddled but I think that usually if someone has the same dress, they won't have their hair the same way, they'll have different shoes, different bag, different jewellery, basically a completely different outfit!

valery

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't know if you have ever felt this way about yourself, but unfortunately, for those who haven't, it's not something you can really comprehend. I don't wish to feel this way, and I know all of the good qualities I have too, I have a great personality and I am alot of fun, I am extremely kind and I get on well with everyone I meet. I am a great wife and a great mother. I make friends easily. I have been through things that most others could never deal with or understand, when people who don't know me find out the things I've been through they are totally stunned as they can't understand how I can be so happy and outwardly confident.

That's not what body image is about though, I know I'm a great person, but I wish I had the body to match, my husband never makes me feel anything less than beautiful, but it matters not what other people tell you or try to make you feel. It's how you feel about yourself, the only person who knows that I am unhappy with my body is my husband. As I said in my previous post noone would ever think of me as a negative person. However these things eat me up inside.

I would be only too delighted not to have the perfect body but not to care - believe me this is what I've wanted for years - to love myself as I am rather than wishing I was different.

I see, and you know what ??? ( Ireally do see your point) I am going to stop such thread replies , it is too difficult to respond and not mess up. I realise there are certain topics one should be genned up on before attempting an opinion and I appologise if I caused you any discomfort.
I really do have this thing going on re. womens well being / health etc.
in my middle years. Maybe its time to take a "holiday" away from such stuff.

Dolbert

I was slimmer than I am now for most of my teenage years, but I really, really hated my body then. I avoided a lot of social events solely because of my weight. It was only in the last couple of years, when I finally made peace with my body, and actually allowed myself to feel attactive, that the weight started to come off again. Funny that

aoibhebree

I'd say I'm lucky in that I have a fairly realistic body image.

As regards looks - my teeth aren't perfect, I probably have more freckles than would be considered ideal (though I think they're cute, and so does my fiance!), but my features are generally fairly symmetrical and in proportion (well, one boob is a cup size bigger than the other, but it honestly doesn't bother me!)

So, I'm not perfect, but I'm me! Who wants to be a clone of the media's portrayal of the ideal woman? And I know how to wear clothes and make-up to make the most of what I've got.

As regards weight, I've been a size 10-12 since I was 15 (I'm now 24), and never really fluctuated outside that. However in the past few months I've gone up to a size 14 due to stress-related eating, and lack of exercise. However I know I'll be able to get back to the weight that's healthy for me just by being sensible for a few weeks, so I'm not worried.

If someone ever made a negative comment about my looks, I wouldn't think less of myself, I would just think less of the person who said it for being rude and disrespectful.

I was never overly-focussed on my looks, even as a teenager. In fact, I cared even less about them back then, as I was a bit of a tomboy! I suppose it's just use of perspective - I look in the mirror and think, "It would be nice to have bigger boobs", but then I think, "Wouldn't it be worse to have breast cancer?" I'm just so lucky to be healthy, and I don't think you can really ask for more than that.

SeekUp

aoibhebree wrote: »

I suppose it's just use of perspective - I look in the mirror and think, "It would be nice to have bigger boobs", but then I think, "Wouldn't it be worse to have breast cancer?" I'm just so lucky to be healthy, and I don't think you can really ask for more than that.

+35.

iguana

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

I posted a reply on the first page of this thread, but I deleted it when I saw the other replies. I was afraid I'd appear conceited.

I understand that, so many people are unhappy with their bodies that being happy with it seems weird and stuck-up. I love my body. It's not the best looking body that anyone could have but to me it's amazing. I'm happy about how it looks and I'm happy about how it works. I love how it can run and dance and give me loads and loads of orgasms.:D

I guess I can put a lot of that down to my mother. She genuinely doesn't have any body issues and her own happiness with herself transferred itself to me. I hope if I have daughters they can pick up the same attitude from me.

If there is one thing I dislike it's, like Nightwish, my muscle tone. I used to do martial arts in Ireland several nights a week and I was very fit and muscle-y in a nice way. But since I moved to London 4 years ago I haven't found a group that I've clicked with in the same way, so have gotten out of shape. I want to find another group like the one I had in Dublin, but only if I enjoy it, I'm too lazy otherwise.

Dragan

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

I posted a reply on the first page of this thread, but I deleted it when I saw the other replies. I was afraid I'd appear conceited.

I'm happy with myself, grateful I'm put together the way I am. I've a couple of scars on my back, but other than that there's nothing I'd change. Actually, I wouldn't even bother changing those.

Reading about the self-loathing that goes on with so many has left me feeling really sad. I can't imagine an existence where weighing yourself several times a day feels normal. I know how much I weigh when my doctor mentions it.

The real question in my mind is how does this happen? What sparks the worry that ends with obsession? How can it change? Mostly I wonder how anyone can feel lessened because their thighs are less than perfect. What you look like isn't who you are, and to be imperfect is to be human.

I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling good about yourself, and in a way i think it's REALLY important the people feel good about themselves in the right way and to show others that it's okay.

I liked your first post because i like that you were so happy with yourself. It didn't strike me as conceited in the slightest, for what it's worth.

I don't know that many people who should feel bad about themselves as much as they do, and yet i know a lot of people who tend to feel pretty bad about themselves. I'm talking about people who have one or two self issues and they allow them to grow until it's like they can't see all the reasons they should be happy with themselves.

I have my ups and downs, i have days where i feel like a god and like i can acheive anything my imagination can fathom and then i have days where i feel like nothing i do can be good enough. It's an odd place to be but on the good days i just pour my heart and soul into what i am doing and on the bad days i cling to the memory of the good ones and i try and remember that those days will come again.

It's worry that the simple act of expressing happiness with yourself could be consider conceited, even by yourself.

I'm a firm believer that being happy with yourself is one of the best examples you can give to the people who know you. It's a thing to be celebrated.

Saying "I'm happy with MYSELF" and meaning it, even if only for that split second....it's amazing.

iguana

Dragan wrote: »

It's worry that the simple act of expressing happiness with yourself could be consider conceited, even by yourself.

The thing is that we are told over and over, mainly by the media, that all women are unhappy with our bodies. And in fiction someone who is happy with how they look is usually seen as shallow, deluded or a bitch.

Just google; women unhappy body and you get;

Dragan

iguana wrote: »

The thing is that we are told over and over, mainly by the media, that all women are unhappy with our bodies. And in fiction someone who is happy with how they look is usually seen as shallow, deluded or a bitch.

I know, it's sad.

GirlInterrupted

Dragan wrote: »

I liked your first post because i like that you were so happy with yourself. It didn't strike me as conceited in the slightest, for what it's worth.

Thank you.

I'm a firm believer that being happy with yourself is one of the best examples you can give to the people who know you. It's a thing to be celebrated.

I've been thinking about this, and I have to agree.

My mother is very happy inside her skin, confident and comfortable with herself. She sees the whole picture when it comes to her outer self, and I don't ever remember her talking about features in isolation. That was a good example for me to grow up with. I have no sisters, and I wonder if that's a factor, as boys generally think less about their looks, especially specific things like their thighs or teeth or whatever. My brothers have rarely discussed their looks, or mine, with me, and the impression I get is that sisters do that a lot!

I also think there might be some cultural component to the issues in this thread. My mother is Italian, and while Italians are very style conscious, there's a wider range of celebrated body types. She would appreciate different features in other women, and be quite forgiving of what others saw as shortcomings. Variety is more appreciated there, whereas here the ideal of beauty is more homogenised, as in the U.S.

I looked online to see if there were any studies comparing the self-perception of women in the EU, but drew a virtual blank. It would certainly interest me to know how Irish women compare with say, Germans, in terms of how they see themselves.

*Page*

valery wrote: »

If your into it i would go for aerobic fitness . an hours walk a day after your main meal will start to burn off calories and you dont have to go to "skin and bones" . How about meeting the doc half way and lose one stone .
Ask one of your friends to join you on the walks and you can get in a good natter as well.

well i'm meeting the doc more than half way which i'm happy about.
i was 15+stone i'm now 12.5 stone and i'm toning rather than starving myself!


all i was saying though is i'm happy with my curvie figure....






me in the red!!!

valery

*Page* wrote: »

well i'm meeting the doc more than half way which i'm happy about.
i was 15+stone i'm now 12.5 stone and i'm toning rather than starving myself!


all i was saying though is i'm happy with my curvie figure....






me in the red!!!

You look so well, and so healthy too:). Im on the curvy side as well and I have no problem with that. when i was younger (40 now) i admit i was much more self conscious re my figure etc. A few years back i put together a "life plan" re. my all over well being , the main theme being realistic and easy maintenance goals. What Im trying to say is unreachable /unrealistic/
(body) goals can never be maintained without the strong posibiliity of damage either physical or mental/ both. Other contributers to this Thread mentioned being happy in their skin and i love to hear that stuff as it inspires me.A lot of my other themed contributions on Boards are fun driven,
I give myself license to make an arse of myself and have a good laugh and I do , I honestly do . The well being of women is a different topic for me as I treat same in a serious manner, I am old enough to remember a time when it was almost normal and accepted for women to recieve the odd battering, for the most part women would almost surrender their lives to the horrible situations they found themselves in, this resulted in women looking 50 years old at 25 years old . I am going on a bit now so will finish up ....slightly off topic too, sorry.But you see I do have my opinions re. the well being of women , Life, The Fashion Industry, Magazines, and ourselves (peer pressure) have us running around like mad women trying to keep up with one another. this will only result in harm to us . The sooner we realise this and correct our attitudes the better. , you really do look fantastic, best of luck.

melissa4gar

skywards wrote: »

I've come to accept the fact that I probably have hay in my hair and I'm not the prettiest girl on the planet. I don't think I'm fat, and I don't think I'm super thin either. I'm happy with myself. I don't care if other people don't like me or how I look, at the end of the day its only my opinion that matters to me..

exactly same. dont think i am the most stunning but i am not in bits and i love how i look and am very confident with every aspect of my body amnd life at the mo. isnt that all that matters being happy in your own skin and feeling like yourself.

thank god i am not into diets or that junk i have been fair lucky wit good genes. girls shouldnt dwell on it just be comfortable and happy with yourself:P:P:P

pikachucheeks

melissa4gar wrote: »

girls shouldnt dwell on it just be comfortable and happy with yourself:P:P:P

It's hard though, isn't it?

It's easy to wake up in the morning, look outside, see the sun's shining and decide that today, everything's excellent and you're going to be happy in yourself!
But I just don't think that works, long term! I'd say by lunch time, most women will have looked in a mirror and made some sort of negative comment about themselves, or seen a magazine and wished they looked more like the girl on the front cover, despite how air-brushed and fabricated she is!

I think to be happy with yourself, really, genuinely happy, it's a long and lengthy process! You just have to look at yourself and who you are and accept your body for what it is. It might not be perfect, but it's yours - it'll always be with you.

You also have to slowly shake off your insecurities, forget times you've walked down a street, had people stare at you, made comments ... and you've had no idea what they were saying. You have to get over the media's perception of perfection, get over your own paranoia.

There's a lot there!

For me, I really think getting older has helped a lot - I know what clothes suit me, I know how to dress for my shape; I'm not that shy little insecure teenager anymore!

I just accept that I'm not perfect - I'm unique, as is everyone! So what if I could do with losing a few pounds, or at times, putting on a few pounds! So what if I have geeky braces and freckles? I am me and I'm happy to embrace myself for what I am, finally.

Of course, I'll have my bad days where my hair looks rubbish and I feel bloated and groggy, but how I deal with it is to remind myself not to be so shallow - Not everything's about your physical appearance.

I do make an effort with my appearance, I've been called high maintenance, but like people have said, there are more important things in life than how you look.
I remember coming back to school having been up and down the country, to spend time with my granddad who was dying in hospital - One of my dorm mates saw me and said "Finally, a day where you look like sh*t!" That made me laugh, because it's at that point you realise how stupid it is to obsess about how your hair looks, or how chipping your nail polish is ruining your day!

The thing to do is love yourself for who you are - that's honestly the best advice I could ever give to someone. No one's perfect, but we're all pretty damn good!

valery

pikachucheeks wrote: »

It's hard though, isn't it?

It's easy to wake up in the morning, look outside, see the sun's shining and decide that today, everything's excellent and you're going to be happy in yourself!
But I just don't think that works, long term! I'd say by lunch time, most women will have looked in a mirror and made some sort of negative comment about themselves, or seen a magazine and wished they looked more like the girl on the front cover, despite how air-brushed and fabricated she is!

I think to be happy with yourself, really, genuinely happy, it's a long and lengthy process! You just have to look at yourself and who you are and accept your body for what it is. It might not be perfect, but it's yours - it'll always be with you.

You also have to slowly shake off your insecurities, forget times you've walked down a street, had people stare at you, made comments ... and you've had no idea what they were saying. You have to get over the media's perception of perfection, get over your own paranoia.

There's a lot there!

For me, I really think getting older has helped a lot - I know what clothes suit me, I know how to dress for my shape; I'm not that shy little insecure teenager anymore!

I just accept that I'm not perfect - I'm unique, as is everyone! So what if I could do with losing a few pounds, or at times, putting on a few pounds! So what if I have geeky braces and freckles? I am me and I'm happy to embrace myself for what I am, finally.

Of course, I'll have my bad days where my hair looks rubbish and I feel bloated and groggy, but how I deal with it is to remind myself not to be so shallow - Not everything's about your physical appearance.

I do make an effort with my appearance, I've been called high maintenance, but like people have said, there are more important things in life than how you look.
I remember coming back to school having been up and down the country, to spend time with my granddad who was dying in hospital - One of my dorm mates saw me and said "Finally, a day where you look like sh*t!" That made me laugh, because it's at that point you realise how stupid it is to obsess about how your hair looks, or how chipping your nail polish is ruining your day!

The thing to do is love yourself for who you are - that's honestly the best advice I could ever give to someone. No one's perfect, but we're all pretty damn good!

what you said there should be repeated to every young girl in school today. fair play to you.

MJOR

I think that overall I have a negative view of my physical appearance. I am not particularly good looking or pretty and could definately do with losing a stone to lower my BMI and a further 1.5 to look ok. I am in unislim at the moment and have so far lost 10lbs in five weeks so I am pretty happy with that. I used to exercise a fair bit and for various reasons became somewhat "dormant" as I put it. However I joined a gym and cut out the majority of the crap. I also changed my pill which stopped the crazy hormone chocolate craving thing. To rate myself outta ten.... looks wise a two. Personality an eight.

'i'm loving the good weather it helps with the exercise:D


I love myself as a whole just maybe not my reflection.

valery

MJOR wrote: »

I think that overall I have a negative view of my physical appearance. I am not particularly good looking or pretty and could definately do with losing a stone to lower my BMI and a further 1.5 to look ok. I am in unislim at the moment and have so far lost 10lbs in five weeks so I am pretty happy with that. I used to exercise a fair bit and for various reasons became somewhat "dormant" as I put it. However I joined a gym and cut out the majority of the crap. I also changed my pill which stopped the crazy hormone chocolate craving thing. To rate myself outta ten.... looks wise a two. Personality an eight.

'i'm loving the good weather it helps with the exercise:D

I think thats brilliant, and your aerobic fitness levels will make you feel so good in yourself.......keep it up .

Faith

pikachucheeks wrote: »

The thing to do is love yourself for who you are - that's honestly the best advice I could ever give to someone. No one's perfect, but we're all pretty damn good!

That's great advice, but honestly, how do you do it? I simply cannot imagine looking in a mirror and accepting and loving what I see. When I stand in front of a mirror, all I do is pick out flaws and criticise myself. I imagine it takes a huge amount of mental training to learn to love yourself.

I did make a comment to my boyfriend the other day about being afraid that he'll see me as I see me, and he looked at me really closely and told me not to be ridiculous. That was nice .

MJOR

valery wrote: »

I think thats brilliant, and your aerobic fitness levels will make you feel so good in yourself.......keep it up .

pikachucheeks

Faith wrote: »

That's great advice, but honestly, how do you do it? I simply cannot imagine looking in a mirror and accepting and loving what I see. When I stand in front of a mirror, all I do is pick out flaws and criticise myself. I imagine it takes a huge amount of mental training to learn to love yourself.

I did make a comment to my boyfriend the other day about being afraid that he'll see me as I see me, and he looked at me really closely and told me not to be ridiculous. That was nice .

For me, there just seemed to be a turning point. I got involved with a guy who seriously knocked my confidence and made me incredibly paranoid about how I looked, what I weighed etc...

After months of feeling bad about myself, I realised that it was my life and I wasn't going to let other people bring me down. I kind-of adopted the whole "if you can't love yourself, how can other people love you?" idea.

So, I stood in front of a mirror, no make-up, nothing to hide behind, and just looked at myself. I thought of all the nice compliments people had given me, and just picked out a few things about myself I liked - those things gave me confidence to start respecting myself more and having a better opinion of myself.

It also helped me develop a positive attitude ; I'm not short, I'm petite. My bum's not small, it's perky. You can put a positive spin on everything

I think a lot of people forget how strong they are - In life, sometimes, you can only rely on yourself. You'll meet nasty people who'll try to tear you down and it's up to you, whether you give in or you move on! You can take their words to heart, or you can realise that you're amazing, open a tin of whoop-ass and go out there and have fun! - Life's short!

I definitely believe that confidence starts from within you. Sure, people saying nice things and giving you compliments can make you happy, but real confidence comes from believing in yourself and having a healthy, positive attitude towards yourself.

Don't aspire to be something you're not. Women and men come in all different shapes and sizes! Everyone has good things about them - everyone!

You should make a list of ten things you like about yourself and keep it. Or ask a close friend to make a list with you! Liking things about yourself will make you more confident.

Actually, we should do these lists now, ladies! Perk me up day

pikachucheeks

10 things I love about me thread

iguana

valery wrote: »

what you said there should be repeated to every young girl in school today. fair play to you.

Is there not a possibility though, that by making a bigger deal out of body insecurities they become justified? When I was a teenager/ young woman it never even occurred to me that people weren't happy with their bodies, unless they had a physical disability. I wonder if by telling girls that nearly all women are unhappy with their bodies, they are hearing that they should be unhappy with their bodies, that being happy in your own skin is a bit odd.

Is it possible that girls may start to find fault with themselves in order to fit in. I don't know how many times I've been on the periphery of conversations between friends where one persons makes a negative comment about herself. The others all jump in with compliments and then criticise themselves, then everyone compliments them by criticising themselves and it all goes round and round. I don't think men do this with each other, I've certainly never heard of it. But surely men can feel overweight, too skinny, too short, too tall just as much as women can?

I suspect that women make each other uncomfortable with themselves by the way we currently interact.

pikachucheeks

iguana wrote: »

Is there not a possibility though, that by making a bigger deal out of body insecurities they become justified? When I was a teenager/ young woman it never even occurred to me that people weren't happy with their bodies, unless they had a physical disability. I wonder if by telling girls that nearly all women are unhappy with their bodies, they are hearing that they should be unhappy with their bodies, that being happy in your own skin is a bit odd.

I think the message should be that you should be happy in your own skin. Some people are, and that's an amazing thing. But in today's world, a lot of people aren't. Eating disorders are on the rise, as is self-harming, amongst other dysfunctional things. I don't think enough's being done to encourage people to think positively about themselves! People are starting to make a big deal out of body insecurities because they are a big deal. Feeling unhappy about yourself can have very, very serious consequences.

When I was in boarding school, a girl I shared a dorm with hated the way she looked. So much so that she used to self-harm with knives at the weekend, she battled with bulimia and tried to take her own life, more than once.

And sadly, that's not an isolated case.

Everyone needs to be encouraged to be happy with who and what they are - They need to be of the mentality that to dislike yourself is odd, not that liking what you see in the mirror is odd.

valery

iguana wrote: »

Is there not a possibility though, that by making a bigger deal out of body insecurities they become justified? When I was a teenager/ young woman it never even occurred to me that people weren't happy with their bodies, unless they had a physical disability. I wonder if by telling girls that nearly all women are unhappy with their bodies, they are hearing that they should be unhappy with their bodies, that being happy in your own skin is a bit odd.

Is it possible that girls may start to find fault with themselves in order to fit in. I don't know how many times I've been on the periphery of conversations between friends where one persons makes a negative comment about herself. The others all jump in with compliments and then criticise themselves, then everyone compliments them by criticising themselves and it all goes round and round. I don't think men do this with each other, I've certainly never heard of it. But surely men can feel overweight, too skinny, too short, too tall just as much as women can?

I suspect that women make each other uncomfortable with themselves by the way we currently interact.

eh, ok :)

iguana

But what if there was no message. If it was just assumed that we're ok, then maybe a lot of people just would be? And people who have serious body issues could then be treated as having a real problem and get proper help, instead of an assumption being made that things are normal.

valery

iguana wrote: »

But what if there was no message. If it was just assumed that we're ok, then maybe a lot of people just would be? And people who have serious body issues could then be treated as having a real problem and get proper help, instead of an assumption being made that things are normal.

Got to say that some of the language being used here is so complicated that the "message" is being lost in the "noise" . if there is any positive /real /healthy opinions out there (and there is ) then these are the opinions which should be opined and yes to young girls in school. Simple easy to understand advise re. body image/ healthy lifestyles both physical and mental . just an idea.

pikachucheeks

iguana wrote: »

But what if there was no message. If it was just assumed that we're ok, then maybe a lot of people just would be? And people who have serious body issues could then be treated as having a real problem and get proper help, instead of an assumption being made that things are normal.

How is it right for people to assume they're ok when they loathe their body?

In my mind, it's not right for anyone to wake up in the morning and deteste what they see in the mirror. In some cases, it might stop at that! In others, that gut feeling of hating your appearance might lead to things I've already mentioned ; self-harm, eating disorders, even suicide. Regardless of how "serious" the body issue is, it's still an issue, therefore, there should be a solution.

Women, in particular, can be extremely self-conscious about their appearance - as this thread has highlighted. People have severe body hang ups and in my opinion, more should be done to combat that ; mental health is just as important as your physical well-being, if not more so.

iguana

pikachucheeks wrote: »

How is it right for people to assume they're ok when they loathe their body?

In my mind, it's not right for anyone to wake up in the morning and deteste what they see in the mirror. In some cases, it might stop at that! In others, that gut feeling of hating your appearance might lead to things I've already mentioned ; self-harm, eating disorders, even suicide. Regardless of how "serious" the body issue is, it's still an issue, therefore, there should be a solution.

Of course, which is why I said someone who feels like that needs real help. But when the message is put about that nearly all women feel bad about themselves someone like this can be ignored.

Imagine a GP having a tough day and some woman comes in and says she hates her body and doesn't know how to cope anymore. In the last hour he's seen a woman miscarrying, an man with a strange lump on his testes that you've sent for cancer tests. Someone you've sent to a specialist for a tonsillectomy, 6 cases of flu, 2 of back pain, someone with an ingrown toenail and done a prostate exam. There are 16 more people in the waiting room that he needs to see before lunch and he's hungry.

But he's read 7 articles in the last 6 months detailing how 90% of women are unhappy with their body. What are the odds he's going to have a serious chat with this patient and assess if he should send her to a specialist psychologist or will he just give her a pep talk about how all women feel this way sometimes and send her on her way?

Someone who has serious body issues and needs real help is less likely to get it if there is an assumption that most women hate their bodies. And I worry that by making hating your body the normal way to feel, society has created a self-fulfilling prophecy which makes people dwell on their niggles and feel worse about it.