Body Image

pikachucheeks

iguana wrote: »

Of course, which is why I said someone who feels like that needs real help. But when the message is put about that nearly all women feel bad about themselves someone like this can be ignored.

Imagine a GP having a tough day and some woman comes in and says she hates her body and doesn't know how to cope anymore. In the last hour he's seen a woman miscarrying, an man with a strange lump on his testes that you've sent for cancer tests. Someone you've sent to a specialist for a tonsillectomy, 6 cases of flu, 2 of back pain, someone with an ingrown toenail and done a prostate exam. There are 16 more people in the waiting room that he needs to see before lunch and he's hungry.

But he's read 7 articles in the last 6 months detailing how 90% of women are unhappy with their body. What are the odds he's going to have a serious chat with this patient and assess if he should send her to a specialist psychologist or will he just give her a pep talk about how all women feel this way sometimes and send her on her way?

Someone who has serious body issues and needs real help is less likely to get it if there is an assumption that most women hate their bodies. And I worry that by making hating your body the normal way to feel, society has created a self-fulfilling prophecy which makes people dwell on their niggles and feel worse about it.

You make it sound as though the woman's issue isn't as serious as any of the other patients you mentioned ; Which is often the case regarding mental health issues - People pass you off as a nutcase and don't treat your issue as seriously as it should be treated.

Also, regardless of whether this doctor is having a "tough day" and is "hungry" or not, someone's come to him looking for help and deserves their issue to be treated professionally.

If there's a message being put out there that "nearly all" women feel bad about themselves, it's because "nearly all" women do feel bad about themselves.

Judging by this thread alone, it could be estimated that over 90% of women have a negative attitude towards their body and the way it looks.

No one's saying that hating your body is the normal way to feel - to start with ; define normal? - There is no such thing. But in modern times, it has become more common, sad as it is.

There's many reasons for it, the media being the one I'd personally blame the most. But every person is different and would have different reasons for not being at peace with themselves and their body.

People should understand this ; It's not "normal" to loathe your body. If you feel bad about yourself, you need to turn that around and change your attitude, do whatever you can to feel good about yourself - I'm not going to rehash my advice out again, it's in my previous posts in this thread!

iguana

pikachucheeks wrote: »

You make it sound as though the woman's issue isn't as serious as any of the other patients you mentioned ; Which is often the case regarding mental health issues - People pass you off as a nutcase and don't treat your issue as seriously as it should be.

Also, regardless of whether this doctor is having a "tough day" and is "hungry" or not, someone's come to him looking for help and deserves their issue to be treated professionally.

My point is that her issues are just as serious. But the GP has heard so much about women not liking themselves he decides they aren't a real problem. And while everyone should get the same treatment regardless of how the doctor himself feels, we all know that it doesn't actually work that way. Doctors are people, and anyone who is feeling stressed at work will put less effort into the things they see as less urgent. On a quieter day he might take the time to get to the root of things, but on a day where he is slammed with "tangible" issues he could very easily take the easy route out.

pikachucheeks wrote: »

If there's a message being put out there that "nearly all" women feel bad about themselves, it's because "nearly all" women do feel bad about themselves.

But isn't there a possibility that there is an element of self-fulfilling prophecy about this. Tell girls that all women feel unhappy with themselves and then instead of brushing off their niggles they will start to dwell on them.

If I ever felt unhappy with how I looked as a teenager (and I have a largish purple birthmark on my face so it happened) I was reminded of the good stuff about me and not allowed to dwell on it. If my mum had told me all women feel like that and started telling me about how she hated her legs or tummy we would have each commiserated with each other and ended up feeling worse. By assuming that we all feel crap about ourselves we create a cycle in which we don't just brush off a bad hair day, but actually let it get us down.

panda100

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Also, regardless of whether this doctor is having a "tough day" and is "hungry" or not, someone's come to him looking for help and deserves their issue to be treated professionally.

Sorry to be a stickler for gender neutral lingo, but since the early 80's more women than men have been graduating as doctors here in Ireland. Can we not assume that doctors are men!

Though I agree completely with the rest of your post!

Morgase

iguana wrote: »

I understand that, so many people are unhappy with their bodies that being happy with it seems weird and stuck-up.

I think that you've hit the nail on the head there. It's just not acceptable to say "I'm happy with my body".

I might have posted about this incident in the Ladies Lounge before but here you go:

A year or two ago the company I work for decided that too many people were wearing overly casual clothes to the office so they got a "style consultant" to come in and give presentations to us.

So this woman was giving a presentation to a group of about 30 women and she started off by asking us who was happy with their legs, their chests, their faces etc. I was the only one who put up my hand for each question (and I'm a very average looking person).

Now I'm sure I couldn't be the only one happy with myself there, so I thought it was really sad that the other women there couldn't feel free to say "yeah I'm happy with myself!" I did get a few dirty looks, and I think there was even a comment to the effect of "oh you just love yourself don't you."

Why is it such a social taboo to not hate your body?

shellyboo

Morgase wrote: »

Why is it such a social taboo to not hate your body?

Try being overweight and not hating it. There's a taboo for you People start falling over themselves to tell you you're in denial.

pikachucheeks

panda100 wrote: »

Sorry to be a stickler for gender neutral lingo, but since the early 80's more women than men have been graduating as doctors here in Ireland. Can we not assume that doctors are men!

Though I agree completely with the rest of your post!

Hi Panda, I used the term "him" in my post as I was refering back to the doctor character Iguana came up with;

iguana wrote: »

...In the last hour he's seen a woman miscarrying, an man with a strange lump on his testes...There are 16 more people in the waiting room that he needs to see before lunch and he's hungry.

iguana

And the reason I came up with a "him" is that I've come across quite a few doctors in my time who would match the person I describe. As in; eager to deal with any genuine mental health issue with a quick pull yourself together type pep talk. And most have been male.

They also tend to be 50+.

crazyy

I hate how I look. Just everything bothers me. I hate the weighing scales too and my stomach when I've eaten too much and my hips and thighs and... My image of my body is soo negative. I do exercise and constantly start a diet 'tomorrow' but am just never happy with how I look. it's so frustrating especially when no one else seems to see what I see in the mirror:(

valery

crazyy wrote: »

I hate how I look. Just everything bothers me. I hate the weighing scales too and my stomach when I've eaten too much and my hips and thighs and... My image of my body is soo negative. I do exercise and constantly start a diet 'tomorrow' but am just never happy with how I look. it's so frustrating especially when no one else seems to see what I see in the mirror:(

Ah, sorry to read about how you feel about yourself. You know theres things we can do about image- and stuff we just have to accept. Healthy lifestyle changes can do wonders for your overall appearance, START that diet now, keep up your exercise plan .....physical health makes you feel good on the inside , believe me i know!! Get a friend to take part in exercising with you -set up reasonable goals /aims , I went from a size 16 to 14 through jogging and keeping a weather eye on my diet (a small 14 at that). Somebody gave me a good tip years ago, get two foolscap size sheets of paper, on one write down all the good stuff about yourself, dont forget , be good to yourself so dont be shy .....EVERYTHING GIRL!!!.
on the other sheet write down the stuff you dont like......be honest here ;
now , look at the stuff you dont like .....think to yourself , what can i do about this or that, the stuff you can work on keep on your list and do something about it by degrees, theres always going to be stuff in our self image we are not happy about and we can do nothing about ......if you are six foot tall thats it , you keep those inches till your menopause, for every
beautiful woman theres going to be a houndred plain janes !!! i know , my middle name is plain jane!! soooooooo honey, its time to throw those ****e
thoughts in to the bin, get your head sorted ....your a woman , your beautiful , do it for yourself , do it for the girls. you know that silly add on the telly .....here come the girls ?? and how that makes you feel ? use that as an inspirational "theme tune" in your noggin and go be a winner.

crazyy

Thank you! I will definitely try that