Story so far

LegacyUser

I know how difficult the TTC 'process' is so I thought I'd post our story to see if it helps or gives some comfort (or better yet, some advice) to TTC'ers out there.

I'll keep it brief;

- Married in late 2000 (he was 28, I was 31)
- Decided about 6 months later to start a family, I went off pill
- DH learned to drive, we moved out of flat to a house
- Tried for about 6 months. Nothing.
- Got a few of the home testing kits (temperature etc) and used those to predict the 'good times'
- Nothing for a few more months

So we went to our GP. He suggested that we relax, take it easy, don't get obsessed by trying, and he offered to refer us to a clinic if we wanted.

We discussed it, and were referred to a clinic (we didn't shop around, just picked one that was handy).

We did all the relevant tests. All looked good. No endometriosis, DH's sperm excellent, no other problems.

They suggested we wait a few months then consider IUI. We (of course) wanted to jump straight to IVF as we thought it was the silver bullet solution, but they advised us not to.

We did IUI 4 times over the next couple of years (assisted by Pregnyl, HCG triggers, etc).

An irregularity was spotted in my uterus that required a general to remove. After they put me under they couldn't find it! Three doctors saw the same thing (a "shadow") that to this day remains unidentified despite being spotted from time-to-time.

No joy.

We did our first IVF... 14 eggs harvested, 10 fertilised (woo hoo).... however the next day ALL 10 PERISHED due to an infection in my DH's sperm.

We were heartbroken, but decided to move on. My DH went on antibiotics for 4 months to clear up the problem, and every time we did IVF after that he went on them again beforehand. He missed the beer!

Did IVF again, transferred two and froze two. Unsuccessful.

Did an FET with the other two. Unsuccessful.

Did IVF again, transferred two and froze three. Unsuccessful. This was a DREADFUL egg collection. Lost blood, felt sick, cramps for days and days. Decided that week that that was that... we were taking a break from the whole thing.

<<Around this time we decided to put ourselves on the adoption waiting list (we knew nothing would happen for 2 years anyway so we decided we had nothing to lose). >>

Decided to make an appointment with the Galway Clinic (naprotechnology) ... the first session with our practitioner was terrifying. She herself was wonderfully comforting, but the quasi-religious overtones of the process scared the bejaysus out of my other half. We stuck with it, did the tracking, and visited the Clinic in Galway.

That was a WONDERFUL day. The Doctor's in Galway were excellent, they were very "human" and were all about getting to the bottom of the fertility problem. Suggested some new meds every month, some vitamins, some diet changes.

We continued to track and take the meds (all the while leaving 3 frozen embryos)... we had decided that we'd try and stabilise my hormones and then go back and try FET one last time.

We went on a wonderful holiday - totally forgetting about IVF - and bizarrely when we came back I did a test and found out I was +!!!

We were overjoyed (8 years had passed in the story above)... however my hormones were low so I did tests every few days... they steadily got worse and worse and when I got a bleed (while my DH was away on his brother's stag) I knew it was over. A scan in foetal assessment in Holles confirmed the worst. It was horrible but we took some comfort that we COULD do it naturally.

Around this time we got to the top of the adoption list! They were ready to begin assessment. We decided to "pause" ourselves at the top of the list (giving ourselves 2 years to reactivate it).

So a few more months pass. We continue to track, take the meds, and then decide to have our last FET. We had pretty much got our hearts set on adoption, we had the letter written etc etc.

So we do the FET with two embryos (only two defrosted properly).

Two weeks pass.

And I test +! Mega-mega high HCG.

So the DH and I are terrified... we have another two and a half weeks to wait before the heartbeat scan in the clinic. The two-week IVF wait is bad but NOTHING like the two and a half week wait for the six-week scan.

We go in for our scan... and there are two heartbeats! I am expecting twins! It's still early days but fingers crossed all goes well...


What I have learned from this process;
(1) You and your partner need to be 100% on the same page at every step of the way. This is not a one-person process.
(2) IVF / infertility is hard on your marriage. If you deny this or suppress how you feel it makes it worse.
(3) If you are doing IVF get yourself on the adoption list... now! (not tomorrow). It's a 4 year process.
(4) If you are starting to TTC and you are over 35 go to your doc and get the tests done. A woman over 35 has severely reduced fertility, a woman over 40 has very limited fertility. People don't talk about this because people are getting married older... but it is a sad fact. Female fertility is the only part of the ageing process that you cannot really trick (apart from with IVF).

And the best bit of advice;

(5) Don't let IVF / infertility etc take over your life. I know lots of couples who think and talk about nothing else. Don't do this! I put my career on hold for the past 8 years waiting and waiting.

(6) You are allowed to give up. You are allowed to be unhappy. You do not HAVE to try or try again. Your only obligation is to be happy (and to make your other half happy). Some people will say "keep trying"... I say you should only keep trying if giving up will give you regrets later in life.

embee

Hi OP,

Many, many congratulations on your BFP and your news of twins.

Here's to 8 or so months of growing two lovely, healthy, bouncing babies.

It's always fantastic to hear of peoples success stories with IVF/IUI, Clomid etc... it can really offer hope and consolation to people who are going through a tough time.

Congrats to you and your husband - enjoy it all and try not to worry too much!

amy-marie

I do love a good happy ending.

Congrats to you and your husband, hope all goes well with you and your babies.

EKRIUQ

Can you post here unreg? I can relate to the op but would prefer unreg, its only 4 years but I know the

LegacyUser

Thanks for sharing that. Delighted for you!


Am 34, trying two years, only starting the medical process :-( The age thing is so unfair.

Nevyn

EKRIUQ wrote: »

Can you post here unreg? I can relate to the op but would prefer unreg, its only 4 years but I know the

Yes you can there are instructions how to in the charter.

LegacyUser

Thank you so much for sharing that. I had a tear in my eye & I am so thrilled about your twins! Wishing you all the luck in the world & your advice is brilliant. Let us know how the scan goes. Good luck.

kizzyr

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks for sharing that. Delighted for you!


Am 34, trying two years, only starting the medical process :-( The age thing is so unfair.

It certainly is. I'm 32 in July and myself and my boyfriend plan on getting married next year and trying for a baby pretty soon after. In an early attempt to make sure everything is ok (in so far as you ever know I suppose) I went to my GP last month to have a chat with her about coming off the Pill and conceiving at 33/34. She suggested that I get a blood test done to make sure all my immunisations are up to date etc. Going on Monday and feel scarily grown up. Just really hope that when we do start that it will be a smooth road.
OP your story was great, am very happy for you and your husband.

**Caroline**

What a lovely story! Massive congratulations to you and your other half!!! I'm so happy for you! You must be over the moon

Best wishes for the coming months and I hope everything goes smoothly for you from here on in! xxx

theTinker

Thats amazing. Congratulations times a million. It was a wonderful story in the end. It made me cry(on the inside, man's man )

mam1

A million best wishes to you and your husband your story had me fascinated and your honesty is so refreshing enjoy these months!!Rest Relax Be Happy!:)