Strangest/Weirdest Things You've Witnessed?

brummytom

Saw three nuns after mass today scrambling to get into an old 3-door Nissan... shouldn't have made me laugh but did.

And getting pushed into a road by two dozen undercover policeman who then proceeded to leap onto the big bloke behind me was quite strange.



I'm sure everyone's got mental stories... I'm bored; tell

Rented Mule

They were probably Christian Brothers incognito and on the run.

InkSlinger67

brummytom wrote: »

Saw three nuns after mass today scrambling to get into an old 3-door

I once scrambled a nun on the bonnet of a three door funnily enough!

brummytom

Rented Mule wrote: »

They were probably Christian Brothers incognito and on the run.

I thought they looked like men but presumed that was just because they were nuns....

jigglywoo

I remember when I was a little kid sitting out on the footpath. There was a big squashed snail a few meters down the path, dunno how I remember it being there. Anyway, a man was walking up the path and he stopped, took out a tissue, scooped up the snail, put it in his pocket and walked on.

I'm pretty sure that's what happened

brummytom

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

I once scrambled a nun on the bonnet of a three door funnily enough!

Her?

Fair play

Borneo Fnctn

I saw a Chinese homeless person. Beat that.

Randy Shafter

I was on holiday a few years ago in Spain with my mates i heard a crashing sound so i went out to the balcony and looked down the road. A little van had overturned on its side and a group of Spaniards just pushed back onto its 4 wheels and it puttered off without a bother! No one on the street seemed too fussed about it like it happens everyday! :eek:

TheZohanS

jigglywoo wrote: »

I remember when I was a little kid sitting out on the footpath. There was a big squashed snail a few meters down the path, dunno how I remember it being there. Anyway, a man was walking up the path and he stopped, took out a tissue, scooped up the snail, put it in his pocket and walked on.

I'm pretty sure that's what happened

That reminds me of a story from when I was really young, couldn't have been more than 4 months old.

I was a grand sunny day and I ws in my pram being pushed when all of a sudden I needed to have a poop. Anyhow this guy starts staring at me as if I had two heads. I really needed to go, but the fecker kept staring.

Can't poop when some dodgy fecker is staring you out of it.

I was nearly in tears. :mad:

The_Minister

A transvestite.

Who was 6'4''

Who wore tonnes of make-up

Who dressed like a 1950s housewife

Who was right behind me when I turned around.

easyeason3

The_Minister wrote: »

A transvestite.

Who was 6'4''

Who wore tonnes of make-up

Who dressed like a 1950s housewife

Who was right behind me when I turned around.

Were you bending down at the time?
And if so, will you be more wary about where you bend down again?

The_Minister

easyeason3 wrote: »

Were you bending down at the time?
And if so, will you be more wary about where you bend down again?

I was at the checkout in Tesco, so I was getting into the spirit of things.

PirateShampoo

A man eat his own head.

PirateShampoo

The_Minister wrote: »

A transvestite.

Who was 6'4''

Who wore tonnes of make-up

Who dressed like a 1950s housewife

Who was right behind me when I turned around.

Yeah downing a bottle of vodka will do that to you. Hope you wasnt to sore afterwards.

Faith+1

PirateShampoo wrote: »

A man eat his own head.

Just like David Blane!!:D

easyeason3

The_Minister wrote: »

I was at the checkout in Tesco, so I was getting into the spirit of things.

Cruising the aisles looking to catch a ladyboys eye was it

Banter Joe

Faith+1 wrote: »

Just like David Blane!!:D

That would explain all the talking through his arse...

Super-Rush

I once saw a man waiting for a train in Neesden in London wearing a blood stained dressing gown and drinking a bottle of champagne.

Overblood

I was waiting for a bus one day in Clonmel. Went into the station to take a piss. When I walked into the jacks I was hit by a wall of stench. Smelt like poo. Probably was. Anyways so I take a piss in the urinal, I hear the toilet flushing, and this fat guy, about 40 years of age, walks out of the stall. I knew by the cut of him that he wasn't all there, he was kind of retarded. He was muttering to himself. As he was walking out the door I saw that there was scutter all over his pants. I said to myself "feck, some chance of getting on the bus with scutter all over you boy!". I was also feeling sorry for the poor fecker who was looking after him.

Went back outside anyways to have an auld shmoke. There was an odd smell.

Saw the scuttery man wandering around like a lost child. He didn't have a carer or nurse or anything, he was all on his own. Whoever let this guy loose on the streets should be shot I thought to myself. Myself and all the other people waiting for a bus were just watching this guy wandering around the front of the station, talking to himself, with scuttery shit all over his pants. I was half thinking of ringing the guards since this guy was in no way able to take care of himself, he could have escaped from the local looney ward or something.

He made his way over to a phonebox outside the front door of the station and threw in a few coins, dialled a number, while holding the door open with his scuttery arse. The glass door of the phonebox went all brown. Since the door was open, we could all hear what he was screaming into the phone.

"I did it again!! Oh jesus I did it again! I'm at the station! Oh jesus wha! I did it again! Sorry!"

While he was on the phone, a woman who works in the station came out with a bucket full of brown water and poured it down the drain, she had the most horrid look on her face. She was obviously after cleaning out the jacks after him. I'm really glad I didn't have a peek into the stall on my way out. I can only imagine what it was like.

Anyways, yer man exits the phone box and returns to wandering around like a lost child, covered in scutter. Everybody is still watching this guy. Mary & Maggie smoking a fag saying "bejaysus what's up with that lad?"

A few minutes later a car pulls up in front of us, the driver is an old-ish lady, about 40-50, absolutely mortified look on her face. She didn't even get out of the car. Scutter man waves at her and waddles over to the car and opens the door. The driver is like "get in get in!". So scutter man turns his arse towards the car and gets in, arse first. He's pretty fat, and tall, so he puts his arse on the head rest, and then he slides his arse all the way down the seat as he sits in. Remember, this guys pants were destroyed in liquid brown scutter. The driver nearly pukes. Scutter mans arse finally reaches the seat and he closes the door. Lady drives off. Twenty people outside the bus station are left there wondering.... what the FCUK?!

Borneo Fnctn

Scutter man baby. It's all about scutter man.

poisonated

I have two
1)When I was in Paris having dinner I saw a man pickpocket someone...It was one of those situations where you dont know what to do...I didnt want to be hunted down by some p.issed off french man thats for sure

2)when I was in New york,there was this homeless man with a sign saying "will allow you to tell me off for 2 dollars" or something to that affect...anyway I didnt have the balls to do it but my brother started telling him off...your man looked like he was really getting angry but then just laughed and said cool thanks or something...that was very funny

actualy I have another one
I was in this German hotel when an old man came up to me and said you have to take off your swimming togs to get into the steam room...That was scary,needless to say I just walked off as quick as I could...I must have been around 14

Super-Rush

Best use of the word scutter ever

SoupyNorman

Overblood wrote: »

I was waiting for a bus one day in Clonmel. Went into the station to take a piss. When I walked into the jacks I was hit by a wall of stench. Smelt like poo. Probably was. Anyways so I take a piss in the urinal, I hear the toilet flushing, and this fat guy, about 40 years of age, walks out of the stall. I knew by the cut of him that he wasn't all there, he was kind of retarded. He was muttering to himself. As he was walking out the door I saw that there was scutter all over his pants. I said to myself "feck, some chance of getting on the bus with scutter all over you boy!". I was also feeling sorry for the poor fecker who was looking after him.

Went back outside anyways to have an auld shmoke. There was an odd smell.

Saw the scuttery man wandering around like a lost child. He didn't have a carer or nurse or anything, he was all on his own. Whoever let this guy loose on the streets should be shot I thought to myself. Myself and all the other people waiting for a bus were just watching this guy wandering around the front of the station, talking to himself, with scuttery shit all over his pants. I was half thinking of ringing the guards since this guy was in no way able to take care of himself, he could have escaped from the local looney ward or something.

He made his way over to a phonebox outside the front door of the station and threw in a few coins, dialled a number, while holding the door open with his scuttery arse. The glass door of the phonebox went all brown. Since the door was open, we could all hear what he was screaming into the phone.

"I did it again!! Oh jesus I did it again! I'm at the station! Oh jesus wha! I did it again! Sorry!"

While he was on the phone, a woman who works in the station came out with a bucket full of brown water and poured it down the drain, she had the most horrid look on her face. She was obviously after cleaning out the jacks after him. I'm really glad I didn't have a peek into the stall on my way out. I can only imagine what it was like.

Anyways, yer man exits the phone box and returns to wandering around like a lost child, covered in scutter. Everybody is still watching this guy. Mary & Maggie smoking a fag saying "bejaysus what's up with that lad?"

A few minutes later a car pulls up in front of us, the driver is an old-ish lady, about 40-50, absolutely mortified look on her face. She didn't even get out of the car. Scutter man waves at her and waddles over to the car and opens the door. The driver is like "get in get in!". So scutter man turns his arse towards the car and gets in, arse first. He's pretty fat, and tall, so he puts his arse on the head rest, and then he slides his arse all the way down the seat as he sits in. Remember, this guys pants were destroyed in liquid brown scutter. The driver nearly pukes. Scutter mans arse finally reaches the seat and he closes the door. Lady drives off. Twenty people outside the bus station are left there wondering.... what the FCUK?!

Aren't you just glad he didnt get on the bus.

Ann22

super-rush wrote: »

Best use of the word scutter ever

I'd be inclined to call it 'skither'. Didn't look right with two 't's.

Super-Rush

Ann22 wrote: »

I'd be inclined to call it 'skitther'.

All depends where you come from i guess

kwalshe

Ann22 wrote: »

I'd be inclined to call it 'skither'. Didn't look right with two 't's.

my sis calls it "The Trotskie's"

easyeason3

kwalshe wrote: »

my sis calls it "The Trotskie's"

Is she Russian?

bronte

Overblood wrote: »

I was waiting for a bus one day in Clonmel. Went into the station to take a piss. When I walked into the jacks I was hit by a wall of stench. Smelt like poo. Probably was. Anyways so I take a piss in the urinal, I hear the toilet flushing, and this fat guy, about 40 years of age, walks out of the stall. I knew by the cut of him that he wasn't all there, he was kind of retarded. He was muttering to himself. As he was walking out the door I saw that there was scutter all over his pants. I said to myself "feck, some chance of getting on the bus with scutter all over you boy!". I was also feeling sorry for the poor fecker who was looking after him.

Went back outside anyways to have an auld shmoke. There was an odd smell.

Saw the scuttery man wandering around like a lost child. He didn't have a carer or nurse or anything, he was all on his own. Whoever let this guy loose on the streets should be shot I thought to myself. Myself and all the other people waiting for a bus were just watching this guy wandering around the front of the station, talking to himself, with scuttery shit all over his pants. I was half thinking of ringing the guards since this guy was in no way able to take care of himself, he could have escaped from the local looney ward or something.

He made his way over to a phonebox outside the front door of the station and threw in a few coins, dialled a number, while holding the door open with his scuttery arse. The glass door of the phonebox went all brown. Since the door was open, we could all hear what he was screaming into the phone.

"I did it again!! Oh jesus I did it again! I'm at the station! Oh jesus wha! I did it again! Sorry!"

While he was on the phone, a woman who works in the station came out with a bucket full of brown water and poured it down the drain, she had the most horrid look on her face. She was obviously after cleaning out the jacks after him. I'm really glad I didn't have a peek into the stall on my way out. I can only imagine what it was like.

Anyways, yer man exits the phone box and returns to wandering around like a lost child, covered in scutter. Everybody is still watching this guy. Mary & Maggie smoking a fag saying "bejaysus what's up with that lad?"

A few minutes later a car pulls up in front of us, the driver is an old-ish lady, about 40-50, absolutely mortified look on her face. She didn't even get out of the car. Scutter man waves at her and waddles over to the car and opens the door. The driver is like "get in get in!". So scutter man turns his arse towards the car and gets in, arse first. He's pretty fat, and tall, so he puts his arse on the head rest, and then he slides his arse all the way down the seat as he sits in. Remember, this guys pants were destroyed in liquid brown scutter. The driver nearly pukes. Scutter mans arse finally reaches the seat and he closes the door. Lady drives off. Twenty people outside the bus station are left there wondering.... what the FCUK?!

Brilliant!

MizzLolly

I seen a person die last week

jane86

MizzLolly wrote: »

I seen a person die last week

How?

C0ward

MizzLolly wrote: »

I seen a person die last week

I killed a man last week, 'twas sick.

C0ward

jane86 wrote: »

How?

With a knife in the library.

4zn76tysfajdxp

C0ward wrote: »

I killed a man last week, 'twas sick.

Was it terminal? You probably did him a favour so.

Turd Ferguson

SoupyNorman wrote: »

Aren't you just glad he didnt get on the bus.

I was expecting it to be the bus driver...now THAT would be funny

Nalz

few strange things up here
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

CrazyRabbit

jane86 wrote: »

How?

Killed by moderators for trolling probably.

battser

2 stories.

Was in birmingham one year with some mates and walked into a mc donalds (Classy I know) when all of a sudden I hadn't even closed the door and some old man dropped dead walking behind me!

The other was one night In the off license I worked in. Standing counting cash while the others are cleaning and dicking about. Knock on the door by the security guard. he barrels in the door knocked to the ground and two seconds later I was looking down the barrell of a baretta (by the looks of it)

Anyway instead of ****ting myself I threw the money under the counter and just started laughing saying "who are you ....will you give it over taking the piss!!"

I got pistol whipped and took about 2 hours to sink in that I cud have been shot dead in the head! weird!

Lushed1

I heard a few young people out the back of where i work one day. I thought they were out smoking or just loitering about as young people do so i went outside and sneaked up to the side gate out the back. It's a big steel gate. I looked through the hole and i seen a girl down on her knees sucking some guy off! They were probably only about 17 or 18. It was about 3 o clock in the day. I couldn't believe it! Got the rest of the staff out to have a look too! Funniest thing i've seen in ages

jigglywoo

I live in the middle of town and two horses wandered in to our garden 20 mins ago

chickenhawk

jigglywoo wrote: »

I live in the middle of town and two horses wandered in to our garden 20 mins ago

Maybe they're your new NEIGHbours!

Blisterman

Two homeless people having sex doggy style outside my house.

MizzLolly

jane86 wrote: »

How?

Heart attack I think. Just dropped on the roadside and by the time the paramedics came, she was dead.

eightyfish

In Galway one night, lots of people around and a mildly rowdy atmosphere. Traffic moving very slowly through the large number of people. Three drunk lads decide to pick on one tiny car for some reason and start pounding on the bonnet and laughing. Big noises from them.

Ten seconds later the doors of the car open and four Garda jump out. The lads were immediately turned around, pinned to the car, handcuffed and taken away. Brilliant, it was.

niallthegreat

I work in a pub one sunday morning was cleaning out the jacks and I notice this pair of false teeth had fallen into the urinal, I wasn't going to touch them ... anyway I'm still cleaning and this old guy walks into the jacks picks up the teeth doesn't even bother washing them just pops them back in and off he goes

pikachucheeks

Overblood wrote: »

I was waiting for a bus one day in Clonmel. Went into the station to take a piss. When I walked into the jacks I was hit by a wall of stench. Smelt like poo. Probably was. Anyways so I take a piss in the urinal, I hear the toilet flushing, and this fat guy, about 40 years of age, walks out of the stall. I knew by the cut of him that he wasn't all there, he was kind of retarded. He was muttering to himself. As he was walking out the door I saw that there was scutter all over his pants. I said to myself "feck, some chance of getting on the bus with scutter all over you boy!". I was also feeling sorry for the poor fecker who was looking after him.

Went back outside anyways to have an auld shmoke. There was an odd smell.

Saw the scuttery man wandering around like a lost child. He didn't have a carer or nurse or anything, he was all on his own. Whoever let this guy loose on the streets should be shot I thought to myself. Myself and all the other people waiting for a bus were just watching this guy wandering around the front of the station, talking to himself, with scuttery shit all over his pants. I was half thinking of ringing the guards since this guy was in no way able to take care of himself, he could have escaped from the local looney ward or something.

He made his way over to a phonebox outside the front door of the station and threw in a few coins, dialled a number, while holding the door open with his scuttery arse. The glass door of the phonebox went all brown. Since the door was open, we could all hear what he was screaming into the phone.

"I did it again!! Oh jesus I did it again! I'm at the station! Oh jesus wha! I did it again! Sorry!"

While he was on the phone, a woman who works in the station came out with a bucket full of brown water and poured it down the drain, she had the most horrid look on her face. She was obviously after cleaning out the jacks after him. I'm really glad I didn't have a peek into the stall on my way out. I can only imagine what it was like.

Anyways, yer man exits the phone box and returns to wandering around like a lost child, covered in scutter. Everybody is still watching this guy. Mary & Maggie smoking a fag saying "bejaysus what's up with that lad?"

A few minutes later a car pulls up in front of us, the driver is an old-ish lady, about 40-50, absolutely mortified look on her face. She didn't even get out of the car. Scutter man waves at her and waddles over to the car and opens the door. The driver is like "get in get in!". So scutter man turns his arse towards the car and gets in, arse first. He's pretty fat, and tall, so he puts his arse on the head rest, and then he slides his arse all the way down the seat as he sits in. Remember, this guys pants were destroyed in liquid brown scutter. The driver nearly pukes. Scutter mans arse finally reaches the seat and he closes the door. Lady drives off. Twenty people outside the bus station are left there wondering.... what the FCUK?!

I was half expecting scutter man to be the bus driver!

brummytom

battser wrote: »

Was in birmingham one year with some mates and walked into a mc donalds (Classy I know) when all of a sudden I hadn't even closed the door and some old man dropped dead walking behind me!

Yeah people diiiee to get into McDonalds.


Was it the one on the ramp at the Pallasades? Because that's as grim as ****, i'd rather die tbh

one-angry-dwarf

Yesterday night I saw a guy throw an empty pint glass off a two-storey roof onto tarmac.

It didn't break!:eek:

Agent Smith

In school a few years ago and someone dropped a glass.

thing bounced 3 times off the floor without breaking, someone caught it, and put it on the table.

seconds later, it shattared.

wtf?

cdb

On a weekend away with friends a long time ago, sitting on the Stanstead Express into London. Trains fairly empty so we're sat right up front having a few drinks when it slows to a crawl. The driver announces that there is a delay up ahead and it might take some time to clear. We continue drinking. After a while the drivers door opens and he sticks the head in to see whos making the racket. We get chatting and he says his folks are Irish and that the delay was because someones jumped in front of the oncoming train up ahead.

Sure enough we look into the cab and can see flashlights in the distance between us and the station where the cops are collecting bits of the lad off the track. Apparently he cycled up the platform as the train came through and veered into its path.

Anyway, driver finally gets the all clear and says we can stay in the cab as long as we don't touch anything. Tempting and all as it was we were too busy looking around us as we crawled through the station. Eerie stuff. Couldn't see much to be honest, but there sitting on the edge of the platform was a fully laced up doc martin.

Pyr0

That sounds very creepy I have to say !

TheDublinMan

Saw someone jump from the 7th floor in Ballymun one night.